For your reading enjoyment, I’ve pulled together a list of 100 of my favorite quotes from the various interviews I conducted for Premium Hollywood, Bullz-Eye, Popdose, and The Virginian-Pilot this year, along with the links to the original pieces where available. As you can see, I had some extremely interesting conversations in 2009. Let us all keep our fingers crossed that I’m able to chat with just as many fascinating individuals in 2010…

1. Pamela Adlon: “In the first season (of ‘Californication’), when we had the threesome with the nipple clamps, I was, like, ‘I don’t get this, I don’t know how you’re gonna do it.’ And then, all of a sudden, there’s a crane with a camera hanging over our heads, and you’re, like, ‘Okayyyyyyy. But how are you gonna sell this? How are you gonna make it work?’ And they ended up shooting it brilliantly, cutting it together, and it just all ended up working without me having to compromise my own personal morals.”

2. Jonathan Ames: “After my first novel, my mother said to me, ‘Why don’t you make your writing more funny? You’re so funny in person.’ Because my first novel was rather dark. And I don’t know, but something about what she said was true. ‘Yes, why don’t I?’ Maybe I was afraid to be funny in the writing. But since then, seven books later, almost everything I’ve done has a comedic edge to it.”

3. Ed Asner: “I loved journalism until the day my journalism teacher, a man I revered, came by my desk and said, ‘Are you planning on going into journalism?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ He said, ‘I wouldn’t.’ I said, ‘Well, why not?’ He said, ‘You can’t make a living.’”

4. Sean Astin: “When somebody brings up a movie (of mine) that I haven’t heard about in a long time, I feel like a 70-year-old pitcher at a bar somewhere, and somebody walks in and says, ‘Oh, my God, I was in St. Louis and I saw you. You pitched a shutout.’ It’s real. I really did do that, because someone today remembers it.”

5. Darryl Bell: “The legend of ‘Homeboys in Outer Space’ has become much more incendiary than the actual show. It’s funny how I usually challenge most people who talk about how much they disliked ‘Homeboys’ to name me five episodes. Most of them can’t, because they just bought into the ‘oh, it’s awful, just the title. Oh, it’s terrible.’ What’s interesting is that I had a great conversation with Chi McBride, who was doing ‘The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer,’ which, if you want to talk about in terms of the imagery of what was wrong, that show was much more infamous than ‘Homeboys.’ Yet it’s not remembered in the same way because the title didn’t grab you in the same way. I remember Chi pulled me aside and he was, like, ‘Look, everyone who is criticizing what you’re doing would take your job from you in two seconds. All of them. So all I can tell you is that this is one blip on both of our careers, and we are moving on.’”

6. Adam Campbell: “For some reason, people always pick on the British sensibility, and we always come across as stupid, but remember: we used to run this country!”

7. Nestor Carbonell: “Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not wear make-up, and I do not wear eye-liner. This is something I’ve had to deal with my whole life. I remember I was in college in Boston, I had a commercial agent, and they sent me out for some print commercial stuff. And they called me into the office and said, ‘Look, we called you in to talk to you because we just want you to know that…well, we don’t think you need to wear eyeliner.’ And I’m, like, ‘What?’ ‘Yeah, it’s okay, you don’t have to wear it for print ads.’ ‘No, I’m not wearing eyeliner!’ And I kept dabbing my eyes and saying, ‘Look! No eyeliner! I’m not wearing any!’”

8. Elaine Cassidy: “The last two days of shooting (‘Harper’s Island’) was probably the most hardcore, the coldest anyone has ever been. It was like your head was freezing, and my motivation for most scenes was, ‘The minute this scene is over, I’m heading straight over to that heater to get warm.’”

9. Chris Cornell: “I started as a drummer, so I sort of took on singing duties by default. I had sung backgrounds and some lead vocals from behind the drums in different bands that I’d been in, and I’d gotten great responses for the songs I would sing. I really started pursuing the possibility of being a lead singer based on the fact that I was working a full-time restaurant job and then playing gigs at night, hauling drums around. One day, it just dawned on me that, ‘Hey, I could be in a band and be the singer, and it would be a lot easier!’”

10. Bryan Cranston: “When ‘Malcolm in the Middle’ was over, I was looking for a drama more than a comedy…but if it was a comedy that came up, it would have to be as well-written as ‘Malcolm’ was, and it would have to be a different kind of character than I played on that show. That’s harder to come by. In drama, there were more opportunities, more options for me, and when I read (‘Breaking Bad’), it was just, ‘Good night, Nurse! I’m going after this sucker!'”

11. David Cross: “I had this sketch group or comedy-show thing that I used to do, and I kind of recruited Sam (Seder) and his friend and partner, Jon Benjamin, to do stuff for that. It was really back in the day when you just had a shitty job that paid the rent, and you spent the bulk of your time just drinking, getting high, playing softball, and putting on these dumb shows. But in a good way.”

12. Richard Curtis: “(Choosing actors is) a very serious business. I was taught this by Mike Newell, who was an obsessive auditioner. I mean, obsessive. And when we were doing low budget movies, he saw it as basically a way of rehearsing the movie. By the time anyone got the part, they’d been in three times, done it, thought it through, and talked it through, so they didn’t need to get any notes when we were shooting it. So trying to find Talulah Riley or particularly trying to find Tom Sturridge (for ‘Pirate Radio’) was a long journey. We must’ve seen 50 or 60 people, everyone between the ages of 20 and 28 in the UK, and you were just looking for that strange moment that’s a bit like love, where suddenly the lines take off rather than fill you with shame and embarrassment.”

13. Andy Dick: “I went to network on a handful of pilots, and going to network is the most stressful situation anybody can ever be in. You’re supposed to be on point, you’re supposed to be at the top of your game, the funniest you can be, in about five minutes, in front of people wearing suits who really don’t care, and they’ve probably already picked their person, but they have to see a handful just to satisfy the process. It’s the most horrible, horrible process known to man. I wouldn’t want anybody to go through it.”

14. Hugh Dillon: “(‘Hard Core Logo’) was really what got me into the whole acting thing, ‘cause I just got to work with such a great director and a great cast. And, y’know, he allowed me to do a lot of stuff. I wrote the ending to that movie. So that movie was really…I just thought, ‘You know, I fucking like acting!’”

15. Chiwetel Ejiofor: “I think that this generation has witnessed, like, incredible change. And I sometimes wonder whether every generation feels that way. You know, maybe they do. The generation before me would have witnessed the end of the Second World War. They would have witnessed the first man on the moon. Do you know what I mean? They would have seen these seismic changes and gone, ‘Does everybody see it like this?’ And then the next generation…I was born in the late 70’s, so I was sort of party to the end of apartheid, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the election of Barack Obama. And you sort of feel, like, ‘Wow, this is so much,’ you know? But you really hope that the next generation absolutely does take things that they haven’t seen themselves or with their own eyes, and that they watch programs like this and realize that anything…anything…is achievable.”

16. Antonio Elias: “When I was first on (the ‘Star Trek’) set, doing the walk through with Chris Hemsworth and Faran Tahir, who plays Captain Robau, the first day we were actually filming our dialogue on the bridge set of the ship, the detail on that set was unbelievable. It was just…everything just looked real. I remember we were walking through with JJ (Abrams) and his first AD, and I literally had to stop and was, like, ‘Guys, I’m sorry, but I’m totally nerding out right now. Am I the only one that’s nerding out right now?’ They started laughing, because it was just so cool. It was, like, ‘What am I doing here?’”

17. Nick Frost: “Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn’t have a pot to piss in. And now…? It’s like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, ‘Hey, mate, how are you?’ I think that’s pretty amazing, actually.”

18. Jim Gaffigan: “I’m kind of a guy who’s missing a little bit of the guy gene. I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I’m also a mama’s boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I’m kinda half guy’s guy.”

19. Corey Glover: “I always thought that the Grammys were, you know, the industry patting itself on the back. There is nothing wrong with that, and I appreciate it for what it is. But, you know, the day after we got this Grammy, I got on a subway and went back to Brooklyn. A Grammy and a token will get you on the subway. I appreciate it, and it’s great, and people look at it and say, ‘Wow, that’s really cool!’ And it is very cool. It’s very interesting, and I love it. But I’ve still got to get to work. In fact, what it means is that I’ve really got to get to work now, because, y’know, most people are expecting things from you that…well, I don’t know what they’re expecting, but whatever it is has got to be better than this piece of brass, you know?”

20. Bobcat Goldthwait: “Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird. I know when people hear that, it’s kind of like finding out that Jimi Hendrix really liked Buddy Hackett, but he interviewed me at a college radio station before they broke and did Bleach. And then, like, about two years later, I was opening for Nirvana at these huge sports arenas.”

21. Elliott Gould: “Groucho Marx, in his later days, gave me the best review I’ve ever had and probably will ever have. I changed a light bulb over his bed, and when I came off of his bed with the used one after putting the new one in, Groucho said, ‘That’s the best acting I’ve ever seen you do.’”

22. David S. Goyer: “You know, we didn’t intend to have so many British people (in ‘FlashForward.’) Basically, it was who came through the door first. We cast Joe Fiennes first. We decided we wanted him to be American. I had seen him play American before a number of times, I knew he could do a pretty good American accent. So we decided, alright, he’s American. I’m ashamed to say that Sonya Walger…I didn’t actually realize that the actress in ‘Tell Me You Love Me’ was the same actress as in ‘Lost’ – I thought they were two different actresses – but her accent was quite good in ‘Tell Me You Love Me,’ so that happened. When Jack Davenport and Dominic Monaghan came along, we cast Sonya and Joe first, they said, ‘What about playing American?’ And I said, ‘You’re too late, our quota has already been filled.’”

23. Javier Grillo-Marxuach: “ABC Family wanted a Latino lead in (‘The Middleman.’) They thought that, because I’m Latino, it would be a great match. It’s funny because when Kate Juergens, who is the senior VP of ABC Family, called me with that suggestion, I was, like, ‘Absolutely not.’ She was, like, ‘Wait a minute, but you’re Latino. Don’t you want to put Latinos on TV?’ ‘Well, I do, but I don’t want to make this character into a stereotype. I don’t want there to be necessarily be salsa music playing whenever she gets on the screen and stuff like that.’”

24. Greg Grunberg: “I never root for a failure. I learned that when we were on ‘Felicity.’ There was a show that failed on the lot, and suddenly all of this food showed up on our set. I was, like, ‘What is this?’ And they said, ‘Oh, they cancelled this other show right before their lunch.’ And I said, ‘Throw that food away! We don’t want to touch that food! There’s no way I’m eating it!’ So I never root for anybody, because it could happen to you in two seconds.”

25. Sammy Hagar: “I would be happy to try to do a record with Van Halen. But they’ve only done one record since I left the band. They did one record, the Gary Cherone thing, and that’s it. What the fuck is the problem? You know, don’t blame me. Don’t be pointing at me and saying, ‘Fucking Hagar, fucking Hagar.’ I’m here, brother!”

26. Daryl Hall: “(‘She’s Gone’) was well-played in the R&B scene, and then ‘Sara Smile,’ which was on the silver album (Hall and Oates), was the third single released, and that broke in the R&B community, too. So our first success was on black radio – which was sort of natural, given our background – and then we crossed over onto pop radio. So that’s really how we came in: very much through the back door.”

27. Harry Hamlin: “I loved playing (Aaron Echols on ‘Veronica Mars.’) I was really sad when I got my head blown off, but…that seems to happen to me. I seem to be murdered on all of these shows. But, okay, as long as the checks don’t bounce, I’m all right with that. Besides, when Aaron Echols was killed, as I recall, he’d just had sex with a beautiful young girl, he was smoking a Cuban cigar and drinking a rare, 18-year-old brandy, and watching himself on television. If you gotta go, I think that’s probably the way to go.”

28. Dhani Harrison: “We were sitting around one day, and (Alex Rigopolos) just said to me, ‘Do you think they would ever go for a Beatle (‘Rock Star’) game?’ ‘It would be amazing, wouldn’t it?’ I said to him. Actually, I think I said, ‘It would be amazing because I could kick your ass at ‘I Am the Walrus’ while dressed as a wizard in Shea Stadium.’”

29. Lance Henriksen: “We’d be doing these really dark, dark metaphoric stories (on ‘Millennium’), and occasionally it would come in on you, because you do long hours to begin with, so you’re tired at the end of the day, working into the night. A couple of times, I went, ‘I’ve got to see the sun; I’ve got to go to Hawaii and lay on a beach, man, this is burning me!’”

30. Brian Henson: One of the criticisms of “Farscape” when we were on the air was that it was hard to catch up, that if you missed a few episodes and then tuned in, you might feel lost, and that might get you a little angry. That’s really why getting this show as a box set is a science fiction fan’s dream: because they really Aeryn’t episodes. You start at the beginning, and you’re gonna watch an 80-hour movie…and there’s no other 80-hour movie on the market!

31. Susanna Hoffs: “To anyone who’s trying to be an artist, in any medium, it’s a very odd and lonely and nerve-wracking and scary process when you let anybody see what you’re working on. You have to learn to listen to your instincts. Absorb other people’s advice, opinions, or whatever it may be from the outside world, but at the end of the day, you have to be true to whatever it is that you’re trying to say in that work.”

32. Michael Ironside: “One of the young production assistants (on ‘Terminator: Salvation’) stepped over to my chair and said, ‘Mr. Ironside, are you any relation to the Ironside who was in ‘Top Gun’?’ And I said, ‘I am, yes.’ And she grinned and said, ‘I knew it! Talent must run in your family!’ And she walked away. And all of the producers and directors kind of looked at me uncertainly, and I said, ‘What are you guys so uncomfortable for? That’s an incredible compliment. I do look like the father of that guy, for Christ’s sake!’”

33. Howard Jones: “There are, broadly speaking, 2 parts to my audience. The first group are the fans that are actively engaged with my output for the whole 26 years, and the second a more general or casual audience that only knows the ’80s work. I don’t find this a problem. I’m happy to have an audience that knows me at all!”

34. Chris Kattan: “With the Roxbury guys (on ‘Saturday Night Live’), I think the breaking point was when Stallone came on and wanted to do the sketch just because. And we’re, like, ‘Well, now we’ve got to create a story, so, what, are we bopping our heads with Rocky? What are we doing?’”

35. Phil Keaggy: “I think people are starting to get used to the idea thati t was impossible that Jimi Hendrix could ever have heard me and would never have said anything about a guy who, at the time, was only nineteen years old. We actually recorded our first album at Electric Lady Studios two weeks after his unfortunate death, so I just can’t imagine how he could’ve heard me. I think it’s just a rumor that someone’s kept alive, and it must be titillating enough to keep an interest there. But it’s just a strange, ironic sort of thing. I’ll never be in the category of Jimi Hendrix, and I couldn’t understand him saying something like that, anyway, even after all these years.”

36. Lisa Lackey: “Often they would come to me (on ‘Rude Awakening’) and say, ‘Uh, you know, we just can’t really hear your accent. Can you be just a little bit more Australian?’ And I was, like, ‘No!’ I mean, how do you be ‘more Australian’? I wasn’t born in the back of the Outback. I was born in Sydney, I grew up in a city, I moved to the farm when I was bit older…I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘mate’ in my entire life!”

37. Zane Lamprey: “I think a lot of the charm of (‘Three Sheets’) is in its honesty and its candor. I do my best to never try to be cool or look good, because I think that endears me to the fans of the show, so if by making myself vulnerable or self-deprecating or whatever, then…I just feel like it makes the show more enjoyable and more relatable. So therefore I’m going to be myself. If I don’t know what something is or if it tastes like crap, I’m going to say it. If I drink too much, you’re going to know about it, and if I pay the price the next morning, I’m going to be honest about it.”

38. Stephen Lang: “I was relatively buff (before ‘Avatar’), because I was working in a tanktop half the time on stage, anyway, but I just went kind of into hyperdrive after that and really worked to beat that old body into shape, to get that carcass where…I didn’t want to be looking at it and see anything hanging where it shouldn’t be hanging.”

39. Wallace Langham: “(William Petersen’s last day on ‘CSI’) was a really tough day to shoot for all the usual reasons, but, sadly, my father was passing away…and, actually, after we had finished filming, I got the call that he had died. It wasn’t a surprise, but…you know, I knew that would be the day, oddly enough. Once I got the call where they said, ‘Okay, you’re going to be shooting on the 10th,’ I just had a feeling. I thought, ‘Okay, the irony of life has always served me well,’ and true to form, it was a very heavy day on all levels.”

40. Lucy Lawless: “I haven’t actually used the merkin yet (on ‘Spartacus: Blood and Sand.’) It’s still a virgin merkin. I haven’t actually done anything that is quite full frontal nudity, though there are some men sort of wandering around in the altogether. They’re always going to baths, the Romans draping one another down with oil and stuff. It’s just a fact, so we show it. One of the gladiators is gay, and there was no taboo on homosexuality in those days, so we allow it. There’s no stigma attached to it. We don’t demonize or play it up or make him mince around with a bow around his neck. He’s a great big manly gladiator and he happens to be in this relationship with a gorgeous young man. It just shows you how we’re not in Wyoming now.”

41. Bill Lawrence: “My kids aren’t allowed to watch (‘Cougar Town’). That’s crazy talk! My God, they’re barely allowed to watch ‘Scrubs’! And even then, only certain ones. I let them watch that damned musical, and they sang ‘Everything Comes Down To Poo’ for six months.”

42. David Lewis: “There’s that scene in ‘Harper’s Island’ where Cameron (Mink) is tied up and sort of hanging from a beam, and I was kind of groping her, and I’m, like, ‘What can I do here?’ And she’s, ‘You can do whatever you want, it’s all cool, we’re acting.’ So I’m groping away, but the producer comes over and says, ‘Um, you gotta do less groping.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yeah.’ And, meanwhile, people are getting cut in half and having their heads chopping off. But I can’t put my hands near her breasts, because you can’t have that on TV. But impaling someone with a whaling harpoon? That’s okay.”

43. Damon Lindelof: “Hopping around time in a non-linear storytelling fashion (on ‘Lost’) allows you to bring back characters who are dead and, in some cases, buried. Now that time travel is the story itself, it opens up even more doors. So when an actor reads that they’re getting killed off on the show, they’re basically, like, ‘Okay, but should I still bother to show up next week?’”

44. Joe Lo Truglio: “The internet may have saved the State reunion…and any future State collaborations, considering we’re about as big as the Waltons and half of us are on one side of the country and the other half is on the other. E-mail is really the only possible way for us to communicate…and it’s a little bit easier. because we’re not all in the same room.”

45. Dolph Lundgren: “(Filming in Russia) was a nightmare. It was really bad. But then it kind of resolved itself. We were shooting in Red Square, which is always the toughest location, I suppose, outside of the Kremlin. You can get fined in Russia, but we had the permits and everything, and we came in with our actors and crew from Bulgaria…and then we lost the permits the night before, and the only time we could do anything was on the weekend. Everybody was ready to shoot themselves. The producers were, like, ‘What? What?!? You’ve got to be kidding me!’ We could’ve turned into instant alcoholics.”

46. Rod Lurie: “A reckoning is coming on the state of the internet journalism, because right now, the way it’s set up, there is so much room for libel to squeak through that you’re going to see…they’re going to rewrite the rule book on journalism very soon. They have to, because the bloggers are getting away with so much rumor-mongering about public officials and even private figures because they don’t have editors and they don’t have fact checkers and they don’t have lawyers. There is going to be a price to pay somewhere down the line.”

47. Jennifer Lynch: “(‘Eraserhead’) may seem like a dark film, but my father and I watch it, and all we do is laugh. It was Disneyland everyday on the set. That’s when I fell in love with film.”

48. Ken Marino: “I’m assuming that there’ll be a new group of people who’ve never seen ‘The State,’ and they’ll go, ‘Yeah, I’ve heard a lot about this, I’m looking forward to seeing it.’ And then they’ll watch it (on DVD) and be, like, ‘Who the fuck…? What is this? What are they making fun of? Who is that?’”

49. James McEachin: “I got an interview to come and do (‘Play Misty for Me’), and…Clint Eastwood wasn’t really that much at the time. You know, he wasn’t the Eastwood that he grew up to be, so to speak. I walked into the office and the door was opened, so I just sat down and started reading and looking at some things, and all of a sudden this guy comes through the door and says, ‘Hey, man, how are you doing?’ We struck up this conversation and we started talking. ‘What are you here for?’ ‘Well, I’m going to interview for this movie.’ And we just continued with the conversation, and I really didn’t know it was Clint I was talking to, to be honest with you. A few minutes later, (producer) Bob Daley showed up and said, ‘What are you doing in here?’ And Clint said, ‘Hey, leave the guy. We’re talking. Can’t you see we’re talking?’”

50. Duff McKagan: “Playing in (the Neurotic Outsiders) with John Taylor was great. A lot of pussy every time we played a gig. So many chicks. It was, like, ‘Wow, John, really? So this is what it was like, huh?’ And there would be like a couple guys with mohawks and a guy with, like, a jean jacket coming in to see me and Jonesy!”

51. Ian McKellen: “I’ve played an awful lot of people that other people would call villains, but that isn’t a very helpful attitude to have if you’re about to play them. They are just people, and they may do dreadful things and say dreadful things, but your job as an actor is to know why they do them or say them.”

52. Colm Meaney: “I do go back to Ireland, and I’ll probably be doing a film in Ireland in January, and I guess that kind of keeps me classified as ‘the Irish actor,’ but the last four or five projects that I’ve been in are either American or English, so I don’t feel terribly trapped in that. But sometimes, yeah, you would like to not be called ‘the Irish actor.’ You’d prefer to just be called ‘the actor.’”

53. Jonny Lee Miller: “I think Danny Boyle’s got it in his head that we all still look too young (to do a ‘Trainspotting’ sequel.) But, I mean, I don’t look like anyone I play, anyways, so I don’t really know where that comes from. Because, you know, you change yourself for the roles. I’m actually not Scottish, either!”

54. Katie Morgan: “There’s lots of things I never did (in porn). Like, I never did do the butt. And I had rules of no more than two at a time, on account of things that I do and don’t do. Ya can’t leave people standing around bored! So, yeah, all sorts of stuff. I was actually quite picky!”

55. Kevin Nealon: “Me and Conan O’Brien and Robert Smigel and Dana Carvey wrote a script called ‘Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma,’ and it was going to be co-produced with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he was going to co-star in it. We had a deal with Sony, we got paid to write it, and it was a musical, but it never got made because…I think Arnold kind of backed out at the last minute because he was getting cold feet because ;The Last Action Hero’ had come out, where he was parodying himself. But it was a really funny script, and I wish it could’ve seen the light, because I think it would’ve done really well.”

56. Kyle Newman: “I think everybody should see (‘The Star Wars Holiday Special’) to realize how bad something can be. There are some cool things in there, but it’s two hours long, and you could probably cut it down to about two minutes and twelve seconds of cool material. The animated Boba Fett sequence is great, and there’s some cool stuff, but overall, the whole format of a variety show in the ‘Star Wars’ universe is just a train wreck.”

57. John Noble: “Because I was so heavily pumped to get (an Emmy nomination) this year, you try not to think about it, but it starts to permeate into your thinking. It was actually quite a relief when it didn’t happen, because I’ve been in the business for so long that you kind of grow aware what goes on, so I went, ‘Oh, no? Okay, back to work.’”

58. John Oates: “I haven’t had a mustache for 20 years and people actually still talk about it! But I kind of understand it on the level that the mustache is back in vogue, you know. It’s back in style, and there is a lot of talk about it. My mustache took on this iconic kind of symbol of the era, of those decades in a way. Of course I didn’t carry the ‘stache torch singlehandedly…”

59. Chris O’Dowd: “I actually fly back to London this weekend to start learning how to ride a horse (for ‘Gulliver’s Travels’), so that’s going to be interesting. I’m fucking shitting myself. And I’m a big guy; I’m, like, 6′ 4″, so I have no idea what size this fucking horse is going to be. So I’ve decided on day one, I’m just going to let him know who’s boss. Which will consist of me quietly whispering into his ear, ‘Mr. Horse, you are the boss.’”

60. Ed O’Neill: “I used to say things like, ‘My name’s not Al (Bundy), you know?’ Not to the press, but to fans. ‘My name is actually Ed.’ I’d find myself saying that, and I’d think, ‘Who do you think they think you are? They only know you from that!’ And finally I just got…I don’t know, I guess a switch went on for me, and I realized, ‘This was the greatest job that you’ve ever had in your life. Why are you acting like an asshole?’ So from that minute on, I kind of…well, I hate the word ’embraced,’ but I just kind of went, ‘Yeah, okay.’ ‘So you’re Al, right?’ ‘Yep!'”

61. Patton Oswalt: “I think most comedians go through that (period), where you have to change or evolve. You don’t want to just keep doing variations on the same themes. And, besides, it would look kinda creepy for a guy my age to be doing stuff that, like, a 20-year-old would do. ‘Yeah, this is bullshit!’ It’s, like, ‘Really? You don’t have bigger concerns at this point in your life?'”

62. Aaron Paul: “I have had viewers that come up to me, and they’re, like, “You know, we used to watch (‘Breaking Bad’) as a family, and once the melted body came falling through the ceiling, my mom was just, like, ‘I can’t watch this show anymore. This is just way too disturbing for me.’ So it’s not for everybody.”

63. Jim Parsons: “(Wil Wheaton) was so fun to have on the set, and he was such a good guy, just in general. He seemed to be completely okay with the fact that his entire name became a mantra of vengeful hate. That didn’t seem to bother him.”

64. Andy Partridge: “I don’t like people turning up and A) wanting to stare at me, B) wanting to play me their music, C) wanting to be my best friend. You see, I just…I’m very private, and I hate all that. I usually try and be pleasant to them, but inside I’m going, ‘Fuck off and die! Fuck off and die!’”

65. Ron Perlman: “I like doing voiceover work. I just like it in general, because you’re constantly working on a very first-instinct level. You show up, you get in front of the microphone, you look at the lines, you say the lines, and then you move on. You work on a really primal level, is what I’m saying. You don’t have to shave. You don’t even have to wear pants. But, uh, that wasn’t your question.”

66. Danny Pudi: “You know, you’re just sitting with Chevy, then you’re doing a scene with him and acting, and all of a sudden you go, ‘Omigod, that’s Chevy Chase!’ And then you’ve got to keep acting. ‘Danny, your lines? Your lines…? You’ve got to keep going!’ ‘Oh, sorry, sorry!'”

67. Gordon Ramsay: “Chefs aren’t very good at sleeping. Guy Savoy said to me 20 years ago, when I was in his kitchen and said, ‘Sorry, Chef, I’m a little bit tired,’ he said, ‘Tired? How many hours sleep did you have last night?’ I said, ‘Six.’ He said, ‘Fucking way too much.’ I said, ‘What?’ He said, ‘Think about it: the average person sleeps for eight hours a day, so when you get to sixty years of age, that means you would’ve slept for twenty years. Does that scare you?’ I said, ‘Yeah!’ He said, ‘So shut the fuck up, sleep four hours a night, get to sixty, and only have slept for ten years of your life!’”

68. Dileep Rao: “I think my beard (in ‘Drag Me To Hell’) is getting a better IMDb rating than I am.”

69. Francis Reader: “There’s a certain period in your life, I think, where if music is something that you’re passionate about and it’s something that gives you a thrill…what you feel about the music in a critical way doesn’t come into it. If I hear anything from, like, the year 1979 or 1980, when I was first just getting knocked over by music, reading the charts every week and taking the radio to school, it doesn’t matter what the record is or if it’s the craziest comedy record or whatever. It just gives me such a thrill of nostalgia that I can’t not like it and can’t not enjoy that moment.”

70. Andy Richter: “I never try to think that (a show is too smart for the average viewer), just because I think you put yourself in the position where you go, ‘Well, I tried to do something smart and funny, and I guess they want dumb shit, so I’ll try and write dumb shit.’ You just have to do the best job you can. Otherwise, it’s just too soul-deadening.”

71. Talulah Riley: “It was (Nick Frost’s) first-ever bedroom scene and my first-ever bedroom scene…not that we were actually doing much, but we did have to lie sort of semi-nude under the sheets. And he was incredibly sort of vibrant and outgoing, but then he suddenly got very, like, ‘I’m engaged and I’m getting married!’ And I was, ‘Okay, that’s good. I just won’t be touching you, then!'”

72. Robbie Rist: “Sometimes people will bring up these odd things that I did a one-off from. Like, I did a ‘Knight Rider,’ and I’ll get an E-mail from a ‘Knight Rider’ fan who says, ‘Look what I did to my car!’ And I don’t know if you know about this, but there is a sub-cult of ‘Knight Rider’ fan who trick out their cars to look like KITT. I’m, like, ‘Really? Isn’t there anything else you can do? Do you make that much money? Because I have projects I’d like to get off the ground, so how about you don’t make KITT and you give it to me?'”

73. Krysten Ritter: “It was just a little weird coming into the seventh season (of ‘Gilmore Girls’), where everyone is already set in their ways and their dynamics, and you sort of feel like you’re coming into a party late. So I was just, like, ‘Ugh! How do I make friends?’ It’s like high school dynamics!”

74. Joan Rivers: “The only good thing about age is that I get out there and…I say I’m working better than I ever worked. That started about seven years ago in Edinburgh. I just said, ‘Oh, what, am I going to censor myself?’ I’ve been fired, I’ve been broke, I’ve been bankrupt, I’ve had to go to court to get my name back, I’ve been publicly humiliated. Screw all you. Now I’m going to tell you what I really think about Jennifer Aniston, that little miss boo-hoo. So, no, I don’t censor myself at all now. But, you know, ‘fuck’ is in the vernacular now. It was good enough for Shakespeare. When Jane Fonda can say ‘cunt,’ it’s over. It’s done.”

75. Saul Rubinek: “I have a very good recollection of working on ‘Death Ship.’ We called it ‘Death Shit.’ I was glad I was killed off quickly. But you’ve got to remember that it was my second movie. I think I had done one movie before that. I was thrilled. You know: no mortgage, no kids. I was just thrilled to travel down to Alabama. We were in Southern Alabama, and all I remember was that, as I was leaving the production trailer, I saw all of my fellow cast members in the water. And there was a production report saying that under no circumstances should the actors be in this water, it’s polluted, and you will have to be hospitalized. But apparently nobody had told the actors. And that’s when I began to understand something about the nature of independent movies.”

76. Vik Sahay: “(Playing with Jeffster at Comic-Con) was absolutely the scariest thing I have ever done. I literally skipped over the ‘what a great moment’ to ‘oh, my God, I can’t believe I have to do this.’ And when I was up there, the people were, like, “Oh, my God,” and they were all screaming and stuff. But I didn’t hear a thing. I was just in my own little bubble of horror and panic, utterly, utterly blanched with terror.”

77. Rob Schneider: “Carsey-Werner cared more about power and control than they cared about comedy, so I’m glad I got the fuck out (‘Men Behaving Badly’) after a season and a half. I would never work for those people again. I would rather do any other menial job than to ever work for that company again. Totally. That’s one the reasons I never want to do television in America: because I had such a horrible experience with Carsey-Werner. It was a really funny show, and they talked me into it by saying, ‘We’re gonna make it just like the British show.’ And then they fucking lied to me. Fucking bunch of liars. And then on top of that, they watered it down, so it was more like ‘Men Apologizing For Trying To Behave Badly.’ That’s what they should’ve called the show.”

78. Campbell Scott: “I’m 47, I have gray hair, and yet people still come up to me on the street who are in their twenties, who weren’t even born when ‘Singles’ was made…well, they were pretty tiny, anyway…and they say, ‘Oh, I love that movie ‘Singles.’’ And I always say, ‘How old are you?’”

79. Amy Sedaris: “I don’t really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it’s not like I’m sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people.”

80. Paul Shaffer: “Some ten years ago, I got a book deal and tried to do it. I wrote three stories up, and I just never had time to go back to it. So this time, when I was re-introduced to David Ritz, who is the A-list celebrity biographer, just a couple of years ago, he said, ‘If you ever want to do a book’… I thought, ‘Well, that’s the way to do it: do it with somebody, and that way, he has the responsibility of turning it in on time.’”

81. Craig Singer: “As filmmakers, we all kind of borrow and steal. I don’t think it’s an intentional tribute, but you’re influenced by things that you’ve seen, and a lot of times it’s about where you wish films had taken you. So you’re using your imagination to say, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if…’ Or, you know, ‘I’ve never really kind of seen this executed quite in this way before.’ So you try to keep it fresh, and if you’re gonna steal, steal from the best.”

82. Kevin Smith: “It’s not like someday my kid’s gonna be standing over my grave, and somebody’s gonna hang her a folded flag and say, ‘You know what? This is ‘cause he did 24 hours straight on Twitter.’ But it’s just one of those little personal victories, like, ‘I wonder if I can do this.’ And I did it. A stupid goal, but I accomplished it. Life’s all about…for me, at least…having very stupid achievable goals. That way, you always feel like a winner.”

83. Rich Sommer: “(‘Mad Men’) was my final audition of the pilot season. It had been three miserable, horrible months where I had zero callbacks, zero positive reception, one of those pilot seasons that makes you pretty sure you are never going to be an actor and never want to be an actor. And then that happened.”

84. Jon Stewart: “I think, in general, most of the people who come on (‘The Daily Show’) are relatively sophisticated media professionals. There’s not a lot of, ‘Wait a minute, how did you get access to comments I made three years ago?’ They’ve been around the block, so you don’t often get people who walk away angry. Now, you do get people who walk out oblivious. Rob Blagojevich came on, and…look, he’s either been the victim of one of the greatest travesties of justice to a political figure or he’s a sociopath, because he’s just out there going, ‘I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything!’ But I don’t normally hear people say, ‘That was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen!’ They’re pretty hip to the game.”

85. Dean Stockwell: “I’ve got categories of jobs, and one of the categories is ‘money jobs.’ If one of those comes along and I have to make a living, even if I don’t like the script that much, I’ll do it and just try to stay above water, which I’m able to do most of the time. I try not to sink with the ship.”

86. Tom Sturridge: “You know that scene at the beginning (of ‘Pirate Radio’) where I take The Count a cup of tea in the studio, and he shakes my hand, gives me a hug, and slaps me on the arse? That’s genuinely the first time Tom Sturridge met Philip Seymour Hoffman. Literally, I’d hadn’t seen him or exchanged words with him before. Richard just called me on set and said, ‘Take him a cup of tea.’ So that’s what I did. And the smile of delight as he slaps me on the arse is purely mine.”

87. Kurt Sutter: “The great thing about having a serialized drama (like ‘Sons of Anarchy’) is that I’m allowed to bring up events and circumstances that have happened in the past in other episodes to show that this kind of violence doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It has ramifications. It has repercussions. Whether it’s a week from now or five years from now, you know it will play out. Nothing is ever tied up into a perfect knot.”

88. Matthew Sweet: “I never cared about covers. I really only wanted to do new songs of mine, always. I went straight to writing and had this kind of empty hole. I remember one time I was standing with Brendan O’Brien, maybe during The Thorns, and he can play, like, any song in all of rock history on any instrument. He’s a complete hot dog with that kind of thing. He was playing something, and he said, ‘Come on, play along,’ and I was, like, ‘I don’t know how to play that.’ ‘Oh, come on, what are you talking about? Quit fucking faking it!’ He thought I really knew them, but I really just don’t know that many songs.”

89. Amanda Tapping: “It’s just so much fun making (‘Stargate’) that, as long as they keep asking, I’ll keep doing it. It really is one of those dream gigs. It sounds hokey as hell, but it really is just so much fun. Samantha will be rolling through the Stargate in her wheelchair, going, ‘Where’s my gun, dammit?’”

90. Alan Thicke: “The key to writing for Richard (Pryor) was to just push his buttons and then know when to push the buttons on your cassette recorder. You’d get him started, then surreptitiously start recording when he got inspired and started walking around the room and improvising in character. Then you’d get it all transcribed and take credit for it.”

91. Lea Thompson: “My kids can’t watch (‘Howard the Duck’). By the time I get in bed with the duck, they are, like, ‘Turn it off, mom. You in bed with a duck is just pretty much a deal breaker.’”

92. Sam Trammell: “Most of the time when people have to get naked, it’s for a sex scene or it’s post-coital, and they’re in a bedroom and it’s kind of a closed set. But with Sam (on ‘True Blood’), it always seems to be because he’s turning back into himself from being an animal, so I’m always outside. Like, way out. Like, out for everybody to see.”

93. David Wain: “Everyone who went to college and especially people working in media seem to know at least one person from Shaker Heights. There’s just something about that place that made people go to the coast.”

94. Dave Wakeling: “If you look at the history of IRS (Records), you can see there’s a certain point right about the time when ‘Tenderness’ came out, just before, where all of a sudden songs on IRS were starting to enter the top 40. And I think that they’d had enough success with the college charts and the independent charts that they could now afford to enter the top-40 lottery game. There had been jokes running around IRS that the only way you could get a top-40 hit on IRS was if you had a vagina. Miles (Copeland) liked his girl groups!”

95. George Wallace: “When (Jerry Seinfeld’s) first child was born and we had the bris, and I was honored to hold one of the baby’s legs, which is supposed to be for the daddy and the granddaddy. I said, ‘Whenever I walk into that house, that boy looks at me like, ‘I know you from somewhere.’”

96. Patrick Warburton: “You know, my mother actually thinks my soul is in peril for being on (‘Family Guy’), and after I watched last Sunday’s episode, I thought, ‘Geez, maybe she’s right.’ You know my rationalization is that it is just absurd, crazy humor, and…what the fuck. It is a deplorable show. It’s horrible.”

97. Carl Weathers: “(‘Rocky’) was so simple and, at the same time, such a complicated movie in a way, and a feat that John Avildsen pulled off, to shoot a movie in so few days with so little money that looked so much bigger than it actually was. The right people came together at the right time…and it worked. It just worked. And nobody thought that movie was going to be what it was. In all honesty, *I* thought it was going to be huge, but I was so young, naïve, and inexperienced that that doesn’t mean very much.”

98. George Wendt: “It’s maybe every third person now (who calls out ‘Norm!’ when they see me). It used to be every other person. It’s faded a bit, but not too much. They’re always going to remember me that way. I decided a long time ago that if I’m going to let this make me crazy, I’m going to be certifiable, so I just roll with it.”

99. “Weird Al” Yankovic: “If Michael Jackson hadn’t given his blessing (for ‘Eat It’), it’s hard to say the direction my life would’ve taken. If my second album hadn’t done well, that might’ve been it for me. But with Michael Jackson signing off and giving me his support…I mean, I’ve been able to ride that for quite some time.”

100. Andrew Zimmern: “The single greatest pleasure that I have in doing (‘Bizarre Foods’) is when I meet families with 6, 7, 8-year-olds, or teenagers, who say, ‘It’s something the whole family can watch, and it lets us show our younger children that one man’s ‘weird’ is another man’s ‘wonderful,’ and we all kind of live in the same place.’ It’s just the best part of my day.”

I did, however, find myself growing increasingly enthusiastic about seeing who the Victim of the Week was. It’s hard to tell how many people were reading these interviews, since – with the notable exception of Jim Beaver – the majority of the comments tended to be criticisms of my victim numbering (in retrospect, I never should’ve started counting them in the first place, but it’s far too late to worry about it now), but I’ve certainly enjoyed talking to the various folks over the course of these 13 episodes. If nothing, I feel that, by doing these weekly interviews, I managed to bring “Harper’s Island” to the attention of some of my friends who might not otherwise have been aware of it, so I’ll take my sense of accomplishment where I can find it.

One last observation: if you dug the show, or if you missed the first episode or two and figured you’d never be able to catch up, then you’ll be pleased to hear that the series will be released on DVD on September 8, 2009. Better yet, it will be filled with loads of bonus material, including some of the scenes you may have read about in these interviews which didn’t make the cut. If you want to get your pre-order in right now, all you have to do is click right here.

And with that bit of shilling for CBS/Paramount out of the way, let us move onward and offer up the final installment in our “Harper’s Island” interview series…!

Christopher Gorham: Hey, Will!

Elaine Cassidy: Hi!

Premium Hollywood: Hey, guys, good to talk to you from your respective places! (Writer’s note: Christopher was somewhere in L.A., while Elaine was sitting pretty in Manchester, England.)

EC: Thanks!

CG: You, too!

PH: So you guys survived until the bitter end…or, at least, Elaine did, anyway. How close was it to the end of the series when you found out that you were indeed going to be making it until the last episode?

CG: Well, we found out at different times. Go ahead, Elaine.

EC: Oh, no, no, no! I’ll go after. (Laughs)

CG: Okay, well, I was highly suspicious of my character from my start, so I had a pretty good idea that I was going to be around ‘til the end, but I didn’t know know until we were almost done shooting Episode 7. At the end of Episode 8 is when Henry killed J.D., and Abby finds him standing behind her, covered in blood in crying, and the producers felt like, at that point, I needed to know what was really happening for my character. Just for what I was doing. So that’s when I found out.

EC: And for me, I kind of…nothing was ever said for definite, and I wasn’t guaranteed a certain amount of episodes, but it was always implied that Abby would be there, and I kind of just felt, from a story point of view, that she seemed quite integral to what was going on. I kind of felt that she’d be there ‘til the end, so I took out a six-month lease, and no one told me not to. (Laughs)

PH: Elaine, in the early episodes of the show, were you given the impression that Abby still had a thing for Henry, or did you feel it was just a very solid friendship?

EC: You know what? Only in Episode 1, and that was kind of…you know, it was when were with Jon Turteltaub, and there was one scene in particular – by the fireplace, after the bar fight – where, from hearing Jon’s direction, he was trying to push little subtle messages. And it was always implied that they kind of got it together…or maybe they didn’t. Nothing was ever said for definite. I thought that it could’ve possibly gone in that direction, but then when it came to Episode 2, it was like that was the end of it. There was no talk of there being a possible romance in the future of the series.

CG: I don’t think we even worked together again until Episode 9 or 10!

EC: (Laughs) Yeah! But, you know, it was just a weird one, too, with all of the confidentiality. Sometimes, you didn’t tell people things that you could tell them because you were afraid of telling them too much, so it’s just best to say nothing.

PH: Elaine, you were part of the original pilot presentation for “Harper’s Island,” but you weren’t, Christopher. How easy was it to get comfortable with the rest of the cast?

CG: It was pretty easy. Everyone was incredibly welcoming and very supportive from the beginning. It’s always kind of a weird thing, you know, doing that. But I’ve been on the other end of that, too, where I’ve done a pilot but not done the series, so I kind of know what both sides of that are. It wasn’t a problem. They made it easy.

PH: Did they actively seek you out for the series, or was it just a standard audition?

CG: It was just a standard audition. As far as I knew, anyway.

PH: Was it the same for you, Elaine?

EC: Yeah. I just put myself on tape…and they lost it, and I had to send it again! It was all very last-minute. I think it was on a Wednesday, and if I was to get the part, I’d have to fly in on Sunday. And it got to Thursday when they said, “Yeah, we want to screen test you, but you’re in London, and you won’t be able to get here in time, because we want to cast it by Friday.” So I just kind of re-did this scene and sent it over again. And in the early hours of Friday night…or Saturday morning for me…I got the call, saying that I had it and that I would be flying in the next day and would have to start work on Tuesday!

CG: Oh, man, I hadn’t heard that!

EC: (Laughs) It was a whirlwind…but a fun one!

PH: You and Jim Beaver had a great onscreen relationship. How hard was it to find the balance with your scenes with him, where you had the love for your father but the awkwardness because of your history?

EC: Oh, well, Jim is such a lovely man and a gorgeous actor, and I loved the scenes that we had together. It was a joy to work with him. You know, there was just so much back story there, so we had so much to work with. You just kind of…it came from a different place. It was nice that there were enough scenes to get to show the different stages of showing them reuniting them as father and daughter. Of course, yeah, the scene before he dies was draining… (Laughs) …because that was quite emotional, but, I mean, it’s part of the job and it’s part of why I love the job. So, yeah, I really enjoyed the scenes with Jim.

PH: Christopher, how did it change your approach to playing Henry once you found out that you were the killer?

CG: Well, you know, it actually didn’t, because the only difference was…for me, I knew why he was acting the way he was acting, whereas before I was misled as to why. But I still had to behave the same way, so, y’know, in order to do that, you still have to believe the truth, whatever the truth is for the character in that scene. If he has to make it seem like he’s in love with Trish, then I have to behave like I’m love with Trish. It doesn’t matter if I know I’m the killer or not. In fact, it becomes vitally important that I do exactly that, because you don’t want to tip your hat. There were a couple of instances where I purposely made a choice that I would not have made had I not known, but I always did it both ways and then would tell the producers that I’d done it both ways, so that they had an option if they wanted to use it.

PH: This one’s for both of you: do you have any horror stories from filming the show? I know a lot of folks had complaints about having to deal with the weather, specifically the rainy outdoor scenes.

EC: Oh, God, Episode 11, the last two days of shooting that…

CG: Yeah!

EC: …probably was the most hardcore, the coldest anyone has ever been. It was like your head was freezing, and my motivation for most scenes was, “The minute this scene is over, I’m heading straight over to that heater to get warm.” (Laughs) And the poor set designers and prop guys were shoveling snow out of the way, so it was limiting for the director and the DOP, because there were certain shots that I’m sure they would’ve loved to have gotten…but they couldn’t.

CG: Yeah, I mean, when we shot Trish’s murder, she’s running barefoot through the woods, and the set dec guys are just off the path, literally melting snow with giant blowtorches, keeping the path clear. I mean, the ground was frozen. It was just absurd how cold it got! And we were all dressed for fall, because the whole show takes place in a week, so it’s not like we could start wearing big, bulky sweaters or coats or anything! We would just pile on as many layers of thermals as we could underneath our skin-tight sweaters or whatever. (Laughs)

PH: You guys did not have the horror of getting the phone call from Karim. Were you around anyone when they got their phone call?

EC: No, I wasn’t. Were you, Chris?

CG: No, me, neither.

EC: I wanted him to call us! (Laughs)

CG: I got the different call, because…it was interesting how they told me I was the killer, and I almost blew it, because the day before, Karim had come up and said, “Listen, we’re gonna meet up at this point, and we’re gonna have a meeting with you, Katie, and Elaine – just the three of you – to talk about your arc for the rest of the show, just because we feel like you need to know a couple of things, and we want you to know where things are going. When’s a good time for us to meet with you?” So we set up a meeting, and then I of course immediately went to Katie and Elaine and said, “Oh, my God, they’re gonna talk to us, we’re gonna find out the whole end, isn’t that great?” Well, it turns out that they weren’t really planning to have a meeting with Katie and Elaine. They just told me that so that. So I had my meeting with them that night, and they told me, and I think we got on a conference call with (producer) Jeff Bell, and after the pleasantries, Jeff says, “The magic word is ‘Henry.’” And I’m, like, “The magic word? What do you mean? What are you talking about?” (Laughs) And he’s, like, “It’s you! You’re the killer!” And then after we’d gone through that, because I had a million questions and we went through the whole thing and told me everything, I said, “So when are you guys gonna tell Katie and Elaine? Are you telling them, too?” And they’re, like, “What are you talking about?” “Well, you told me that you were gonna be meeting with all three of them, so they know I’m having this meeting, so what the hell am I gonna tell them tomorrow when I can’t tell them the secret?” So they had to set up fake meetings with Katie and Elaine…

EC: …which involved no information whatsoever! (Laughs)

CG: …and I had to act all disappointed, like, “Aw, no, I thought it was going to be this whole thing, but instead they just told me a couple of little snippets and wanted to go ahead what was going to happen at the end of the next episode, with J.D.. I just don’t know what the point of these meetings are!” (Laughs)

PH: Well, I know I’m going to be shooed off the line in a moment, but I just wanted to ask you one more, Elaine: if they did decide to move forward and tell more of Abby’s story, would you be willing to reprise the role?

EC: Well, I…you know, I’m contracted, so… (Laughs) …I don’t have a lot of choice anymore! But I really think, for me personally, I think it’s more powerful if it’s left at just the 13 episodes. I mean, Abby is going to be a wreck after this, and I think there’s maybe more interesting angles that could be taken, but maybe that’s because I’m not a writer and don’t come up with ideas. I would be very interested to see if they did come up with an idea for another series, as far as what it would entail, but I like it kept the way it is, more in keeping with a film. A 13-hour film… (Laughs) …but I just think it’s stronger the way it is. But who knows? I don’t. I don’t know what they’ve got planned.

CG: 13 hours of Abby in a padded room?

EC: Yes! Now that would be interesting!

PH: Well, it’s been great talking to you guys. You did great work throughout the series, and I really enjoyed watching it.

CG: Thanks a lot.

EC: Aw, thank you! Cheers!

* Missed our interview with Harry Hamlin (Uncle Marty)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Sarah Smyth (Lucy) and Anna Mae Routledge (Kelly)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Victor Webster (Hunter)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Sean Rogerson (Booth)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Richard Burgi (Mr. Wellington)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with David Lewis (Richard)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Chris Gauthier (Malcolm)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Dean Chekvala (J.D.)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Cameron Mink (Mrs. Wellington) and Amber Borycki (Beth)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Jim Beaver (Sheriff Mills)? Go check it out!
* Missed our interview with Cameron Richardson (Chloe) and Adam Campbell (Cal)? Go check it out!

This is another one of those cases where, although I wasn’t rooting for this person to get the call from Karim, I was still very much looking forward to talking to the actor in question…and, in fact, I enjoyed the interview so much that, although I’m not going to mention the person until after the jump, I will at least say this much to random web surfers who happen upon this entry: you don’t have to be a dedicated viewer of “Harper’s Island” to click onward. You could just be a fan of the work of David Milch (“Deadwood,” “John from Cincinnati”), or of “Supernatural,” and you’d still enjoy reading what lies after the jump.

So what are you waiting for?

(Special thanks go out to Bullz-Eye’s legendary layout man, Brian Smith, who – even though his wife is expecting a child at any minute – still found time to help a brother out by putting together this week’s header graphic for me, since I had a computer crash last week and still haven’t rescued Microsoft Office from the old system. His graphics work kicks the ass of anything I’ve done…but, then again, that’s what he gets paid to do, and I’m taking comfort in that.)

Premium Hollywood: Hey, Jim, how’re you doing?

Jim Beaver: Hey, Will!

PH: Good to talk to you.

JB: Same here!

PH: Well, as a well-known character actor, arguably the most famous face on the show besides maybe Harry Hamlin and Richard Burgi, did they approach you to be on “Harper’s Island,” or was it your traditional audition process?

JB: I think it was probably kind of a mixture, because Jon Turteltaub, one of the executive producers, is an old, dear personal friend of mine, although I’d never worked for him before. And then the other executive producer, Jeff Bell, I had done a series for last year called “Daybreak.” So I think they knew pretty early that they might have some interest in me, but at the same time, I did come in to audition. So I think it was a mixture of the two.

PH: How quickly did you and Elaine Cassidy (Abby) pull together your characters’ father-daughter relationship? I would think it’d be a little easier than most such situations, just because the characters hadn’t been close in ages.

JB: Well, the material in the script was very rich in terms of suggesting how that relationship should be played, and Elaine is a very intuitive and empathetic actor. Just from the very first moment that we met, the relationship seemed to build rather naturally, except for the fact that, in real life, we didn’t have any strain between us. But I think we grew very fond of one another very quickly, and it made it very easy to play, “What if these two people who cared about each other had this big strain in their relationship?” So I think it came together rather quickly and rather organically.

PH: I’m sure I’m not the only viewer who, when Madison dropped the bombshell that it was the sheriff who’d kidnapped her, said, “No way, man, I’m not buying it!” Did you know at the time that line appeared in the script if it was true or not?

JB: (Laughs) At the time that line appeared in the script, I don’t believe I did know whether it was true or not. The way they structured the production…for about 99.999% of all of the information, the actors were kept in the dark up until we saw the scripts, and if the script alluded to something we didn’t understand, then we didn’t find it out until the next script explained it. So, no, I think when…you know, to me, I really enjoyed the game of making a show this way, where I and the other actors were guessing along with the audience…albeit, y’know, several months earlier. (Laughs) And so sometimes they would have us say or do things that completely caught us by surprise, and, yeah, at the point that Madison said that the sheriff had kidnapped her, I had no idea whether I had or not.

PH: I’ve heard some of the actors say that they would sit around and work out the intricate explanations as to how their character could be the killer.

JB: Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, it was kind of a parlor game with us at nights and on the weekends and sitting around on set, trying to figure out and trying to eliminate possibilities. I don’t think anybody wanted…I think everybody was kind of anxious to find out, but I don’t think anybody wanted to be told in advance. I’m not sure. It kind of would’ve ruined the game, like, while you’re watching a tape of the game, somebody coming in in the second inning and telling you who won. (Laughs)

PH: One of the photos I’ve got for this piece is of you looking at your cell phone, and I was going to put the caption, “Karim Zreik? Oh, hell, I’m not answering that. They can’t kill me if I don’t answer!”

JB: (Laughs) That’s funny!

PH: How did you find out that you weren’t coming back to “Harper’s Island”?

JB: Well, apparently, from what I’ve heard from the other cast members so far, I’m kind of a solitary example, because Karim (Zreik) didn’t tell me. I got a call from Jeff Bell, one of the executive producers, and so because it was from Jeff, I wasn’t particularly expecting what he was calling about. But I was sitting in my apartment, probably watching television, and he called and…y’know, it was very business-like. It was, “Well, Jim, we’re gonna kill you off in this next episode.” And I said, “Oh, okay. How does it happen?” It wasn’t a lot of weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. I figured ten episodes out of thirteen, when two or three people are getting lopped off every episode, I was doing pretty well to make it that far.

PH: You defied the odds, definitely.

JB: Yeah!

PH: When you were in the forest, that scream you gave…? I really believed you had been hit in the leg with a knife.

JB: (Laughs) Well, you know, it’s funny, because the first time we rehearsed it, I think I was probably trying to be a little too much John Wayne, because the director said, “Uh, you know, Jim, this really, really, really hurts.” “Oh. Okay.” So the next time we took it, I spit my larynx out somewhere in the forest there. It was a pretty miserable day, but it wasn’t because of the stake in my leg.

PH: I was going to ask you how you enjoyed the scenes in the woods. I’ve gotten mixed reports from the other actors.

JB: Well, that day, that one day with the spike or whatever it was that went into my leg, the day we shot that was the single most miserable day of my entire career, in terms of physical discomfort.

PH: Wow.

“That better not be Karim calling, because…oh, phew, it’s only Jeff Bell!”

JB: It was right around freezing, and it was raining buckets all day. Everybody else was bundled up in three or four down jackets, and they all looked like the Michelin Man, and I was out there in street clothes, crawling around in the mud and covered in fake blood. And it took all day. It was wet and miserable and very, very cold. But, you know, what, give up show biz? (Laughs)

PH: So what is it with you and sheriffs? You’ve played half a dozen of them in your career. Is it the beard? Does it give you the authority-figure vibe?

JB: I don’t think it’s the beard, because most of the sheriffs I’ve played have been before I…I grew the beard for “Deadwood” back in 2002, and just because so many of my jobs have overlapped, I haven’t been able to get rid of it! (Laughs) But, no, I don’t think it’s the beard. In fact, I think I’ve only played two sheriffs with beards, and I’ve always wondered about it, because I think they probably look askance at that in real life, but…I don’t know, it seems to be one of the niches I fit in pretty easily. It’s probably a certain dry or quiet aspect to my onscreen persona. I really don’t know. It’s kind of a kick for me, because every other show, every other film that comes along has a sheriff in it, so it’s been a nice thing for my career. But I don’t quite know how to explain it. (Laughs) I’m not nearly as tough as I play, so it can’t be that!

PH: Well, I guess having your character killed on “Deadwood” has probably saved you from being asked over and over again what you’ve heard about a “Deadwood” movie.

JB: Well, no, it actually hasn’t. (Laughs) I still get asked.

PH: Oh, well.

JB: Everybody who followed that show really wanted to see some more of it, as did I. It was not only one of my favorite jobs ever, but it was also one of my favorite shows ever, even if I hadn’t been connected with it., and I would’ve loved to have seen it extended somehow. But I’m afraid that ship has long since sailed.

PH: Were you surprised at the way Ellsworth’s storyline developed with Alma, or was it something that you kind of saw coming?

JB: No, I didn’t see that coming at all! I mean, c’mon, you saw me in the beginning of that show: I had green and yellow and black teeth, stringy hair, and a Gabby Hayes beard. I was covered in filth. Yeah, of course I’m going to marry the richest woman in town! No, I was really pleasantly surprised, and that’s one of the things I loved about doing “Deadwood.” To me, that was one of the greatest character arcs in television history! (Laughs) I always likened it to a Roy Rogers movie where Gabby Hayes marries Dale Evans. Yeah, I was very surprised. I mean, of course, it came on gradually, so I began to see things coming, but I certainly never expected anything like that when we started.

PH: Did you have any more idea what “John from Cincinnati” was about than anyone else did?

JB: Not particularly. (Laughs) I…the thing with me is that there isn’t a word David Milch could write that I wouldn’t willingly get in front of a camera and say. I trust him as a writer and as an artist, and I think he had powerful and meaningful things to say with that show. I think not all of them were made clear. I do feel like the show suffered from a lack of support from the powers that be at the time, because it started out to be a 13-episode season, and then it got cut down to 12, and then 11, and then 10. And all the time, David is having to restructure in order to get as much of his concept for the first season into a reduced season. I think it just got harder and harder for the message to come through. I think…well, I look on that show kind of like I look on great music: I don’t always understand what it means, but to me, there was always a sense that something wonderful was happening. Even if I didn’t quite understand it. (Laughs) But I think it might’ve cleared up quite a bit if it’d been given a second season.

PH: Any talk of you making it into a trifecta and doing a stint on “Last of the Ninth,” his new HBO series?

JB: Well, the last I heard…and don’t hold me to this…was that HBO didn’t pick it up. But as far as David Milch is concerned, I’m always up for a trifecta. I’ll sweep up on one of his sets, because he’s…I always felt I knew what a genius was until I met him. It’s been a total honor and privilege to have been associated with two of his shows, and I hope the chance arises again, but from what I’ve heard, “Last of the Ninth” isn’t going to be it…for me or anybody else. I’m not real sure where things stand, but my understanding is that they’re not going forward with it.

(Writer’s note: A call to Red Board Productions, which produced “Deadwood” and “John from Cincinnati,” resulted in uncertainty where things stood with the HBO deal. I was told, “We filmed part of it, but we’re not making it at the moment.” HBO confirmed the bad news, saying, “We are not going forward with ‘Last of the Ninth.’ Milch, however, is developing other projects to pitch us.” So based on the phrasing at Red Board, does that mean the show could yet end up somewhere else? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part?)

PH: Since turning up “Supernatural,” do you ever wear flannel off the clock anymore?

JB: Oh, my gosh, I never wear flannel! (Laughs) You know, the sartorial similarities between me and Bobby Singer are pretty much restricted to baseball caps, and if I ever got on a show where I could cut my hair off, I wouldn’t even wear those. Yeah, I kind of like the look they have for Bobby, but I don’t dress like that. And, of course, they’ve got him so layered up that every time I run into a fan in real life, they say, “Oh! You’re so much thinner than you look on television!” (Laughs) With enough layers, you start to look kind of paunchy…and, of course, I’m actually built just like Jared and Jensen.

PH: Of course.

JB: Exactly like them.

PH: So was the role of Bobby Singer always intended to be a recurring one, or did it turn into one over the course of the evolution of the show?

JB: I think it turned into one. Again, that was a case where I had worked for the producer, Robert Singer, my namesake… (Laughs) …years before on a show, so we knew each other, but when I came in to do that first episode, it was just a one-shot, a guest appearance, as far as I was concerned. And I believe it was just a one-shot as far as they were concerned. But I remember the crew saying, “Well, hey, we rarely get guest stars who don’t die, so maybe you’ll be back!” And then it turned out that I came back right away. I think it was the second appearance when they began to think, “You know, this character could actually fill a slot we need in the structure of the show.” But I’m not sure that they had any idea of that at the beginning.

PH: I know Katie (the lovely publicist for “Harper’s Island”) is going to be getting on the line any minute, so I’ll go ahead and make this my last one, but I interviewed Allen Coulter when his film “Hollywoodland” was released on DVD…

JB: Oh, yeah!

PH: …and you were credited on the film as “Biographical Consultant.” How does that work? Do you go through the script with a red pen, circling things and writing, “Dubious claim, never substantiated”?

JB: Well, you know, I didn’t have a technical title on that show. Allen and I at one time shared an agent, and this agent – Paul Alan Smith – knew that I had been working for years on a biography of George Reeves, and when his other client, Allen, ended up directing it, he put us together. Basically, they asked a lot of questions of what I thought had happened and how certain things worked, and they sent me the scripts, and I looked at them and said, “This never happened,” or, “This wouldn’t have happened.” And in some cases, they took my advice, and in some cases, they were far enough along in the production process that they couldn’t make the changes. So there are some things in the film that I wish weren’t in the film, because they weren’t completely true to real life, but by and large I thought they did a wonderful job with the film. And I also thought that they were enormously attentive to what I had to say. Whether they could make use of everything I had to say is a separate matter, but they really wanted to know as much true information as they could find, even down to the point where they called me up and asked me to send pictures of the real-life versions of even minor characters, so that they could cast closer to the physical types. And in a lot of cases, these were people who didn’t…nobody would’ve known the difference other than maybe relatives of the people. (Laughs) So they were very attentive to detail, and any failures of detail, I think, had more to do with things like budgets and the fact that I came into the process relatively late in the pre-production. A lot of things were set by the time I became part of it.

PH: Well, it’s been a real pleasure talking to you, Jim. I’ve got your new book, “Life’s That Way,” sitting in my Amazon shopping cart as we speak.

JB: Oh, well, thank you!

PH: I’m really looking forward to reading it, and I’ll include a link to the website, too.

JB: Oh, great. Thanks a lot; I appreciate that.

PH: Hey, anybody who can go from writer to actor…as a writer, I appreciate that.

JB: Oh, well, thanks. And, trust me, that’s the easy direction to go. (Laughs) Going from actor to writer is a little tougher!

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I don’t think many people outside of the TV critic community are aware of this, but Harry Hamlin wasn’t the first actor to play the part of Uncle Marty in “Harper’s Island.” Several months before the series premiered, CBS offered up to critics what’s best described as the pitch reel for the show, giving an idea of how it would kick off and approximately what we could expect as far as the feel of the series. By the time the show actually premiered, however, some of the actors remained the same and some didn’t…and the most notable actor who didn’t make the transition was the first man to fill the shoes of Uncle Marty: Bill Pullman.

Back in January, series producer Jon Turteltaub referred to Pullman’s appearance in the pitch reel as “a ‘While You Were Sleeping’ favor,” referring to the 1995 Sandra Bullock film in which Pullman was directed by Turteltaub.

“He’s a great guy to work with,” Pullman told me. “I don’t know whether he had somebody else or what it was, but it was kind of at the last minute. Or maybe it’s because that’s the way those things happen. Maybe the money only came together at the last minute, TV being what it is. But he knew he wanted to get somebody, and he said, ‘Listen, there is no obligation to do anything with the series afterwards, but I just need something for now. If you do it, fine, if you don’t do it, fine, too.’ But I loved the chance to go up there, and, you know, it was kind of a whacked character. I had a good time, and the actors who were there were good. I really liked Elaine Cassidy.”

So there you go: a “Harper’s Island” factoid you may not have known before. Hopefully, that’ll hold you ’til Wednesday! And as a bonus, here’s the trailer for Pullman’s film, “Surveillance,” which is pretty creepy in its own right:

Head over the interview with this week’s victim. It’s waiting for you after the jump…

Dean Chekvala: Hey, Will!

Premium Hollywood: Hey, Dean, how’s it going?

DC: Good, buddy. How are you doing?

PH: Pretty good. I’ve been thrilling to your antics for the last several weeks.

DC: (Laughs) Thanks!

PH: So how did it feel playing the black sheep in the family?

DC: I loved it! The best character on the show! No, I’m kidding…but I did love it!

PH: So how much of the character of J.D. did you go in with yourself? Do you have any tats?

DC: I don’t have any tattoos, and my hair’s normally kind of like a dirty blonde, a dark blonde. So they dyed the hair and slapped on the tattoos… (Laughs) …and gave me that wonderful dark wardrobe.

PH: I’ve heard from most of the other actors that, when they auditioned, they read sides that had nothing to do with the character they ended up playing. Was that the same case for you?

DC: No, y’know, I actually read the sides for my character, but the sides that I read were of a scene that they made up just for the audition. So that scene never came up.

PH: So at what point did you find out exactly how crazy a character you were playing?

DC: Um, define crazy. (Laughs)

PH: (Laughs) Yeah, I guess crazy is relative.

DC: Well, I booked it, then I got shipped out the next morning, basically, to go up to Vancouver, and it wasn’t until I got to Vancouver that they really closed the door and explained what the concept of the show was and what was going to be going on. And at that point, they explained the back story of the character. No, come to think of it, at my second audition, when I met with the producers, we actually chatted for awhile, and they kind of gave me the gist of who this character was, of who J.D. was, and that he was the black sheep, he was suicidal, a chip on his shoulder, an instigator type of character. So they told me early on.

PH: How far along in the process did you come to discover that you were, in fact, not the killer?

DC: Probably Episode 6 or 7. It could’ve been Episode 6. Up until then, I thought I was still fair game.

PH: So when you were playing the character, were you playing it as if he was the killer, or were you playing him as if he was just a troubled guy?

DC: A troubled guy, looking for answers.

PH: What was your favorite episodes of the ones that you were in? I guess that was most of them, right? No, wait, you weren’t in Episode 4.

DC: Yeah, Episode 4 I wasn’t in. (Considers the question) I think one of my favorite episodes was Episode 6, although I loved the very first scene…well, I guess it wasn’t the first scene, but it was the fight scene in the bar. I loved doing that one. I mean, what a great intro to a character: a bar fight. (Laughs) But I think Episode 6 was kind of where, structurally, it changed for me, because he became very proactive. I mean, he definitely had an agenda, where he was pursuing something. Previously to that, he was kind of reacting to things, but he wasn’t really instigating things to change. And that’s kind of when it got really exciting to play and very clear to play.

PH: In the third episode, when you had to suffer through a near-hanging, was that odd to play? I’d think that, at the very least, it would be a little disconcerting.

DC: Yeah, but it was actually kind of fun, I’ve got to tell you. Half of it was a stunt guy and half of it was me, but I kept asking them if I could do it, because it seemed like, y’know, “When else would I get a chance to play that?” Although that set we were on was, seriously, about 150 degrees.

PH: Yikes.

DC: The cast and crew were just pouring sweat during the hours we were in there. So it was a little uncomfortable in that sense, but it was fun to kind of experience what it was like to stand on that chair and have that noose around your neck. Well, I don’t know if “fun” is the right word… (Laughs) …but it was definitely a unique experience.

PH: So did you think that you were the killer at any point? Because, at least at my house, we were regularly torn between, “Well, that would be too easy,” and, “Well, maybe it isn’t too easy!”

DC: You know, the exact same thing happened with us on set. We kind of all thought we could be the killer, and everybody was…I think that, secretly, everybody wanted to be the killer, and everyone had a way to convince themselves that, yeah, possibly I could be the killer! Because you wouldn’t get the scripts until a few days before shooting, so everyday new information came out, and if we were still in the script, if we weren’t the one who was killed, then we were excited at the possibility that, “Oh, there might be more information that we don’t know about yet that will explain why I am the killer!” From the beginning, they asked us, “If you’re the killer, do you want to know?” I think they were asking everybody. Not that they were telling anybody, but I think they were just curious if people would want to know. And I just told them, “Look, I don’t need to know unless you think I need to know at a certain point.” But because they asked me that question, immediately my mind was, like, “Omigod! I’m the killer! Why would they ask me that if I wasn’t the killer?” And you begin to sort of convince yourself that, Omigod, this is a great possibility for me to be it! And it would’ve been fun to be the killer. I think. You know? Just to kind of explore that sort of character and figure out why they would do it. So part of me wanted to be, but then as Episodes 6 and 7 came along, I was, like, “You know, I think I’m still crucial to the information of the story, but I’m probably not the killer.”

PH: How was Cassandra Sawtell to work with? I interviewed David Lewis two weeks ago, and although he couldn’t stop talking about what a great actress she was, he admitted outright that she was creepy when she was playing her part.

DC: (Laughs) Oh, she’s the sweetest girl! She’s great. She’s a super-smart kid, and we used to joke because every time she was on set, she was reading a new and different 500- or 600-page novel, which she’d finish during the course of that day. I was, like, “Seriously? Are you kidding me?” And she speaks, like, five languages. No joke. She’s just a super-smart kid. And…honestly, I don’t find her creepy, but she’s very, in a sense, honest. She’s very aware of things that are around her. But she’s fun. She was fun to play with. I felt like we were real kindred spirts!

PH: So how did you actually find out that you were going to be off the show? Did you get tapped on the shoulder, or did you receive a phone call?

DC: (Laughs) I got a phone call. Usually, Karim was given the assignment to tell people, and he’d try to tell them in person. Usually, he’d use the line, “Listen, we gotta talk. Come walk with me.” That kind of thing. And the reaction on set was, “No! I don’t want to talk to you!” But in this case, he was leaving for the airport that night, I think. It was a Friday, and he was leaving for the weekend from the set, so he just had to call me and tell me over the phone.

PH: Were you surprised?

DC: I was very surprised. I thought it was, like, a social call. That it was gonna be, like, “Hey, what are we doing tonight?” And it turned into, “Oh, you’ve got to go.” (Laughs) So in that case, it was a surprise, but as far as the story’s concerned, you know, I think it strengthens the story because it just shows the audience that anybody can go, and I feel like they’d started to build…well, although they made J.D. look guilty, they also built up his character, so people could kind of be more engaged in the story.

PH: Yeah, at times, you were torn between accusing him and feeling sorry for him.

DC: Yeah! Which one did you think? Did you think he was more of the black sheep or the killer?

PH: Y’know, I really tended to think he was more of the black sheep, though there was certainly enough out there that I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had been the killer. But I didn’t really think he was.

DC: Were there any points when you thought, “Oh, he’s actually the savior”? (Laughs) Because after I wasn’t the killer, I was, like, “Oh, well, clearly, I’m going to save this island! Clearly!” But, clearly, that didn’t happen. (Laughs) That pendulum definitely swung the other way for me. I was thinking, “They’re trying to make me look good, so obviously I’m going to come back, swinging in on a vine to say the day!”

PH: What’s your favorite onset anecdote from your time on “Harper’s Island”? And who did you most enjoy working with?

DC: Well, I loved working with Elaine (Cassidy) and Chris (Gorham). Most of my stuff was with them and Cassandra. And there’s one kinda funny story about Cassandra…well, it’s not that funny…but it was me, Elaine, and her in the car with her, and she was saying how she was going to be a writer when she grows up. And we were, like, “Oh, that’s great! Maybe you can take that book and turn it into a movie, and en maybe you can cast us!” She kind of nodded and took a beat, then she tapped us on the shoulder and said, “Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but…aren’t you going to be too old?” (Laughs) We’re, like, “Okay, get out of the car.” So, okay, maybe that wasn’t the best anecdote, but I remember that for some reason, because it was just so charming of her to point out how old we’re going to be when she’s a successful writer. (Laughs) But mostly it’s just working with…well, y’know, I just thought the crew and cast were so pleasant to work with. You know, we all started the same day, literally in the same boat, so we all had this sense of community and camaraderie that started from the very beginning. We were sad to see people go as the numbers dwindled, but we were really a close, tight-knit group. We’d hang out all the time after filming, at dinners or having drinks or whatever, and the Canadians definitely showed us the perks of the town. (Laughs)

PH: So have you been watching the show consistently, and will you continue to watch now that you’re off the show?

DC: Oh, I’m definitely going to watch it, because I don’t know what happens! It’s great, because now I get to be a viewer, and I get to kind of see how they’re going to shape the story and see how much of what I think is going to happen is or isn’t going to happen. And I have been watching it…you know, I watch on the computer, but I watched it last week with Matt Barr, who played Sully. We just hung out and watched it together. It’s always fun to get together. If people are around and we can actually get a group together to watch it, it’s always fun to hang out.

PH: Yeah, when I interviewed Sean Rogerson, he said that he and Chris Gauthier had gotten together to watch an episode.

DC: Cool!

PH: Well, it’s been a pleasure talking to you, Dean. You did great work on the show, and I’m looking forward to seeing who the actual killer is.

DC: Me, too! Thanks, Will!

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