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Midweek movie news — the fatigue edition!

I’m overtired and miles from home in a West L.A. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and I probably should have just thrown up another embed and gone for home and some sleep, but the movie news is just not waiting tonight…

* Johnny Depp is apparently wanting to star in a new version of Dashiell Hammett’s “The Thin Man,” or perhaps the series of really fun movies starring the great William Powell and Myrna Loy that the original 1934 movie adaptation spawned. I’ve no particular clue why he’d want Rob Marshall — not a bad director at all, but also not a great one and prone to ADHD editing — when he could have his pick. Of course, selecting a Nora Charles to go with his Nick will be half the fun — the possibilities are pretty endless though for some reason the only person I can think of right now is Cate Blanchett. She’s great, but don’t ask me why she comes to mind. It’s probably the fatigue. One big problem: Nick and Nora are a couple of merry alcoholics — or at least huge problem drinkers. It’ll be interesting to see how they handle that aspect of the property in today’s more abstemious world, although I suppose Nick Charles isn’t that far removed from Jack Sparrow or Keith Richard.

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* They worked mostly in other media, but they all had their moments in the movie sun: RIP Barbara Billingsley, Tom Bosley and, er, Bob Guccione.

* Cinephile’s cinephile uber-blogger David Hudson, who is based in Germany, gives us a fascinating post-mortem look at a writer and filmmaker I’ve never heard of until now, Thomas Harlan. The key fact here: Harlan’s father directed “Jew Suss,” the most notorious narrative antisemitic film produced by Joseph Goebbel’s Nazi UFA, and had been actively dealing with the legacy.

* Sometimes an actor blends so seamlessly into a part you wonder whether she is really even acting at all.

* In the battle of Hobbit-man Peter Jackson versus the NZ/Oz/U.S. unions, it sure looks like the unions blinked. This is probably the first such battle where I’m glad of it.

* “Giallo” is the name for the subgenre of bloody horror flicks from Italy that predated American slasher films with more mature characters and a heck of a lot more style from directors like Mario Bava and Dario Argento. Apparently wanting to get in on the whole self-awareness thing, Argento, who unbelievably is only just turning 70, made a movie actually called “Giallo” starring Adrien Brody. Brody says the producers didn’t pay him and is suing them and blocking the release of the movie for the time being. That’s always a mistake — not paying your star, I mean.

* Ben Affleck is considering switching from character-driven crime fiction adaptations to a character-driven fantasy-drama adaptation, “Replay.” I gather the book by the late Ken Groomwood is an old favorite of my highly esteemed colleague Will Harris and won a World Fantasy Award in 1987. Why have I never heard of it before?

* “Heckraiser“?

* Today’s tie for the “is this really news” prize: Robert Downey, Jr. “eyes” playing a really intense guy who gets involved in paranoid wackiness. Also, crazed lunatic Mel Gibson follows the path of reformed ear-biter Mike Tyson and will appear in “The Hangover 2” according to the totally awesome-in-my-book Jodie Foster, who seems to be doing whatever she can to try and salvage her widely discussed movie, “The Beaver” by trying to help repair his insanely in-shambles image. Talk about strange bedfellows.

Not directed by Eli Roth, yet

From “The Man Who Laughed” to the Joker to “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” the uniquely frightening nature of circus clowns — whose supposedly laugh-inducing and harmless nature makes them all the more frightening to children of all ages — has been fodder for scares. If I’d known some of the talented amateurs involved in making this fake trailer, it’s possible I’d have tried to discourage them from attaching any famous names, but it obviously worked re: Eli Roth, and not for no reason. Take a look. This “Clown” wasn’t made by bozos.

H/t Cinematical.

The Biggest Loser: why am I loving the switcheroo?

It used to be that when “The Biggest Loser” producers messed with the show, I would get annoyed and want to stop watching. But since this season began, and started with wrenches all over the place, my outlook has changed and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because they stopped playing that awful “What have you done today to make me feel proud?” song that was the theme for like five years. I mean, whoever wrote that can retire now, but we’ve all certainly heard it enough times. More likely, it’s the fact that they started changing things up with the yellow line and when they weigh the contestants in right from Week 1. That way, they can’t play games or mess with the weigh in at all….more below the line, pop weigh-ins, no monkeying around. So I like it that way, and when host Alison Sweeney announced that they would be going to blue vs. black as they have in seasons past, I was all for it. Let’s break up the alliances that are forming now.

So the episode began with those who fought to get onto the ranch in the first episode having a shot at getting on again. Five of them–Corey, Anna, Montina, Shanna, and Sandy–would weigh in now for that second chance. No games this time, just a straight weigh in. The person with the highest percentage of weight loss would get a spot on the ranch. Corey went first with his man boobs, those boobs that I swear are bigger than Alison’s. He lost 37 pounds, or 9.46%. Shanna lost 21, Montina 17 and Sandy 25. So Sandy was now in the lead. Anna was last and she lost 39 pounds, or 11.82%, and earned that spot on the campus.

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Sons of Anarchy 3.7 – Widening Gyre

It may have seemed like a foregone conclusion after last week’s episode that SAMCRO would be heading for Belfast this week, but since they have to wait until Oswald’s charter plane leaves for Manchester, they’re stuck in Charming for one more day. And as it turns out, it’s for the better, because after a member of the Grim Reapers turns up dead, SAMCRO has to step in and stop them from seeking revenge on the Calaveras. Afraid of striking back without checking with Alvarez first, Clay decides to approach the Mayan president directly to act as a mediator. But while Alvarez admits that he still needs the Calaveras in his pocket because they serve a purpose, he agrees to let SAMCRO question Salazar about the assassination. Salazar begrudgingly gives up the man responsible, but Alvarez punishes him as well, stripping him of his patch and putting someone else in charge.

Salazar isn’t at all pleased, and after they made a point of showing his reaction to Jax telling Alvarez that they were going to be out of town for a week, I just knew that he was planning some kind of retribution. And now that they know that Tara is Jax’s old lady, you can bet that they’re going to go after her, especially with the club halfway across the world. Still, it feels a little too soon to be doing another subplot involving an attack on one of SAMCRO’s women after Gemma’s kidnapping/rape last season, so here’s hoping that Salazar is taken care of before anything bad happens to Tara.

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After all, it’s not like she hasn’t already been through hell these last few weeks. She was held at gunpoint by Cameron while Half-Sack was killed and Abel was kidnapped, she became an accessory to murder when she helped Gemma kill Amelia the caretaker, and on tonight’s episode, she walked in on Jax to discover that he had just banged a porn star. Opie believes that Tara is too resilient to let something like this make her want to give up on the relationship, but she’s still not happy about it and has moved out of Jax’s house for the time being. Gemma suggests that telling Jax about the pregnancy may change his mind about his plan to “protect” her, but she wants to keep it a secret until she decides what she’s going to do with the baby, and makes Gemma promise not to tell anyone.

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This may be why people keep complaining about sequels

I admit that as a bit of a cinema chicken with my famously mixed feelings about horror, particularly of the slasher variety, I’ve only actually seen the original “Scream” — and only made it past the brilliantly terrifying opening with the help of the fast forward button. Still, and I hate to keep bagging on Wes Craven, who I respect, this teaser trailer for the long-awaited-by-someone-I’m-sure “Scream 4” really feels warmed over. How far can you keep building up this kind of self-awareness before you lose all human feeling? Or, maybe I’ve got it wrong. Or maybe it’s just a hastily rushed out, poorly put-together trailer to try to make everyone forget about Craven’s fiscally and critically disastrous “My Soul to Take.” See for yourself.

H/t Merrick of AICN, who informs us that this is a slightly expanded version of the trailer featured on this year’s Scream awards.

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