Category: TV (Page 577 of 595)

But does he model Aquaman Underoos?

The Spotlight Kid has been holding out on us. Entertainment Weekly’s Popwatch blog posted this link to a photo of the WB’s new Aquaman, Will Toale, apparently captured in a candid moment while shopping for produce shirtless, as most men are known to do. Toale’s qualifications for the Aquaman role have thus been revealed, in the form of a well-tanned, washboard stomach.

Bearing limited acting credentials, Toale is best known for his modeling work–specifically underwear modeling, the better to show off his abs of steel. Pity, then, that he must cover them up for his new role, and instead wear the infinitely less flattering orange-and-green wetsuit. Unless of course hiding his remarkable abs is essential to maintaining Aquaman’s anonymity, much like Clark Kent’s dorky glasses?

Either way, rest assured that the Aquaman writers will find plenty of excuses for Aquaman’s alter ego, Arthur Curry, to whip his shirt off at the drop of a hat, the better to keep those female teenage viewers drooling. Toale clearly has a bright future ahead of him, just like his brothers-in-arms, former underwear models Mark Wahlberg and Antonio Sabato Jr….or at least that dude who played Tarzan a couple years back.

Vic Mackey might beg to differ

Comedian Christopher Titus, best known for his envelope-pushing, self-titled sitcom on Fox a few years back, is back with a new show for Comedy Central. Called “Special Unit,” the sitcom stars Titus as a “rebel cop whose on-the-job offenses land him in charge of a squad of physically and mentally handicapped officers,” according to Variety (sorry, non-subscribers must view ad to read linked article for free).

Titus describes the show as “’The Shield’ with handicapped people,” and that may very well be. You’ll forgive us, though, if certain other combinations come to mind. “Police Academy” meets “The Ringer,” for instance, or “Renegade” meets “Life Goes On”…or even “Booker” meets “Riding the Bus with My Sister.”

We certainly hope it’s more like the former than any of the latter…but we’ll tune in to check out the midget sharpshooter and the autistic martial arts specialist either way.

Who? He’s playing who?

Looks like the WB has tapped a relative unknown to play Aquaman in the upcoming TV series. So sure, you can say, “Who is Will Toale?” My question, though, is “Who gives a shit about Aquaman?” Seriously. It’s easy to see why “Smallville” works since it’s easy to find Superman fans who are interested in that character and who’s had shows a-plenty based on it (I still can’t fathom the popularity of “Lois and Clark”). But when did anyone ever really get behind Aquaman? To me, he was an even bigger nimrod of the Justice league than either The Wonder Twins or that goofball Marvin. One of those characters like the Green Arrow that just always seemed like a third-stringer rather than a real hero. I predict a short life for this series. However, it’ll probably get at least two seasons under its belt since the WB isn’t as overzealous as Fox is to get rid of its shows as fast as possible. However, I hope in this show that Aquaman gets to do menial tasks during his off-hours like check the fluoride levels in the water supply, and paint over grafitti on water towers. I’d actually watch that. Once.

Girls gone boring

Last night I woke up around 3:30 needing to take some ibuprofen after coming off the high that was a good night of drinking to the Steelers playoff victory against the Bengals. I grabbed a coke and the pills and got back into bed and switched the tube on for a few minutes to lull myself back to sleepiness. And once again while channel surfing the late night shows, I tripped over the “infomercial” for some “Girls Gone Wild” videos. The guys that created this series have made a fortune, but honestly, I’d love to know who buys them. I like the female body as much as the next person, but I’ll be damned if watching drunk chicks in thongs drunkenly flash their boobs isn’t one of the unsexiest things I’ve ever seen. Someone tell me, what exactly is the thrill of that? Drunk boob shot after drunken boob shot. Oh wait, now they’re kissing each other while fighting off some alcoholic pukes! Act now and get a bonus video with 90 more minutes of this detritus!

I think my 71 year old dad would enjoy it. That older generation still gets a rush out of seeing that kind of poop and thinking it’s “naughty.” Still, I don’t think he’d ever actually plunk down good money for it. I just seriously hate it when boobs get boring. It’s something that should always be mysterious and exciting. Bah…these kids these days having everything far too easy. Respect to the breasts, my brothers and sisters!

Quandaries in the year 2006

The new season of “The Shield” starts this week and I’m faced with a tough decision. Do I watch the show as it goes on FX, which basically looks like garbage on my 92″ HD front projection system (as my cable company does not yet carry FX in HD) or do I wait for the DVDs, which will allow me to watch the season in semi-glorious 480p?

I find this dilemma quite humorous considering what quandaries my father and grandfather were likely facing at my age. My father, a teacher at a technical college, was likely stressed about the energy crisis in the ’70s. My grandfather, who moved all over the country chasing jobs as a welder, probably wasn’t sure where he’d be living in the next few months.

I guess we are a product of our times. So, do I wait for those DVDs?

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