Category: TV (Page 569 of 595)

“American Idol” finally made its way to Hollywood, as 175 lucky contestants from the grueling preliminary rounds across the nation reappeared and got to sing for Simon, Randy and Paula once again. But unlike the initial auditions, this time they had accompaniment in the form of a piano and backup singers. They also had to choose their song from a short list.

The first day, while half of the contestants auditioned, another half went sightseeing, so we got to see these folks walking around Hollywood and being awed by the Hollywood Bowl….I’m sorry, but BIG YAWN.

It was interesting to see how some of these performers fared on a bigger stage with backing musicians. Some of them excelled, while some left everyone (the judges, me, Mrs. Vandalay) wondering how they passed their first audition.

Kelly, the blond chick who was raised by her grandparents because her mom ran away and her dad is in prison, performed well enough to move on but wasn’t quite as dazzling as in her first audition.

Other highlights were the very young and very talented duo of Paris Bennett and Lisa Tucker…..watch these two, they are going to go really far in this competition.

Ladies man RJ got sent home, and so did the dude who hit on Paula in his first audition….both just didn’t have it this time. Ladies of Hollywood, you are now safe.

Taylor, the gray-haired dude from Birmingham, performed with Bo Bice-like power in his voice. This is another dude that can go far, but only if he makes it far enough for America to have any say. Simon clearly is not a fan of the gray.

The twins, Darrell and Terrell, made it to the next round but they were incredibly annoying for the remainder of the show whenever they got on camera. Um, dudes, we all know you were arrested recently so we know we’re not going to have to watch you much longer.

Also moving on to the next round was the “crying cowboy,” Garrett…..he got to see the ocean for the first time and when he got on stage to performed, proclaimed “holy crap.” He gets my vote just for that. He didn’t sing all that great, but I guess he was good enough to advance.

The show ended with “Crazy Dave”…..how this guy made it to Hollywood must have strictly been for ratings….either that, or Paula and Randy were drunk when they let him through. I distinctly remember Simon saying they were both nuts, and that was proven last night when he got sent home.

In all, 66 contestants were eliminated. We have a long way to go, but we’re finally separating the wannabes from the real talent. Next week things get interesting as the contestants have to perform in groups. That’s always fun to watch because there is peer pressure and the stakes are high.

See you next week….

Are you as tired of these “American Idol” auditions as I am? Seven cities, thousands of awful singers, a few good ones, and way way too much of Ryan Seacrest. Thankfully, last night’s Boston auditions were the final preliminaries before moving the party to Hollywood tonight.

Last night’s gems (that they showed anyway) included two basketball playing chicks. One is such a good athlete that she was awarded a scholarship to play at Boston College…..and she could sing too. Don’t you hate it when people have that much talent? Another basketball player moved on as her twin sister coached and cheered her on from the “sidelines”….the twin had ruptured a vocal cord and could not compete.

A chick with a mop on top of her head sang pretty good and kissed Randy Jackson’s ass enough to get through to the next round, despite Simon saying she looked like a “pet poodle.” Another kid that barely got through was 16 year old Kevin, a dorky looking dude who sang a lispy version of a Josh Groban song.

The ones that sucked were indeed the ratings grabbers again….it started with James, an Eminem clone who (get this) could not even pronounce the word “melodic.” Do some of these people go to school in someone’s bunghole? There was this chick immigrant who brought her vocal coach and claimed to be the “whole package”….always a red flag. She proceeded to begin a striptease while singing, errr, cracking her way through two songs. She was easily one of the worst singers any of us have ever heard.

This one chick sang Loverboy’s “Working For the Weekend” opera style. Enough said about that.

Another sang her own version of “M-I-C-K-E-Y”…..are you kidding me?

It only got worse though…..this dude named Kenneth sang Cher’s “Believe” and it was wrong on so many levels. For one, he took himself seriously and thought he was going to be the next Idol. Two, he sucked. Thirdly, he was a dude singing Cher and also admitted to singing Judy Garland songs. He then lashed back at Simon when Simon told him he should wear a dress and be a female impersonator. I mean, what did this jackass expect? Dude, you are not a dude in the sense of the word “dude”…live with it.

The final contestant they showed was a Clay Aiken look-alike who was annoying right from the start….he really couldn’t sing well, and then claimed it was because he had to pee. So they let the poor sap take a leak (cameras following him) and then he came back to sing one bar before Simon declared “ok, thank you.”

After a look back at the highlights and lowlights of the past seven episodes, the producers teased us with some of the Hollywood action that starts tonight. I’m just thankful that from here on out, the competition should heat up, as well as the love/hate relationship between all the judges. Oh, and of course more of that annoying Seacrest dude.

Readers, welcome to Hollywood.