Category: TV (Page 568 of 595)

U.S. Olympic team gets beat up by a bunch of girls

Speaking of smackdowns, the ratings are in, and things aren’t looking so hot for struggling NBC. Sunday night the peacock net’s one great hope for climbing out of the ratings basement, the Winter Olympics telecast, was soundly trounced by a new episode of ABC’s “Desperate Housewives” and by the stellar conclusion to “Grey’s Anatomy’s” “Code Black” Super Bowl cliffhanger.

The world’s finest amateur athletes take on a skinny medical intern and a bunch of over-privileged suburban housewives, and the athletes get their asses handed to them in a lovely gingham-lined wicker basket. Imagine what would have happened if ABC had put Meredith, Izzy, Gabrielle and Edie on figure skates: NBC might have just thrown in the towel and aired a test pattern instead, to save money.

24: Should I take ‘em to the bridge? Should I take ‘em to the bridge? Heeeeeyyyy!

James Brown. You gotta love him.

Ah, it was only a matter of time before the infamous bridge episode appeared. Very little actually happened this week; the terrorists tried to detonate one canister of the nerve gas in a mall, supposedly to test the remote detonators. Of course, the people sent to collect Rossler (our mysterious Russian from last week), who ultimately collect Bauer due to Rossler’s permanent unavailability, conveniently do not know what Rossler looks like, and are completely okay with Rossler’s flawless American accent. Jack, of course, disobeys the coerced order of the President to dispense the gas – he may be a ruthless government agent, but even Jack has his own sense of right and wrong, however morally ambiguous it can be at any given time – and saves the lives of about 900 people in the process…though he ultimately loses the trail of Goodbye Yellow Brick Tie and the canisters after killing one of his henchmen and tailing the other, who kills himself on command before he can be forced to talk. Of course, witnessing the hostile shoot himself in the head should have been enough to make Jack think that maybe they were being watched. But no, the truck carrying all of the remaining canisters drives away, in full view of CTU…from the other side of the street. Sweet Jesus.

Samwise Gamgee, meanwhile, is acting like an injured, cornered animal. I suppose getting beaten up by his sister’s pimp will do that to a person. To make up for his shortcomings, he barks at anyone who dares to cross him, though God love Audrey for having the balls to stand up to both him and Buchanan and force them both to look at the mall scenario from a more humanistic perspective. God knows, that’s more thought than President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk put into it. How many bucks (wow, I just accidentally made a funny here: President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk tried to pass the buck…ah, never mind) did he try to pass this week? “This is your call, CTU.” (Uh, no, Mr. President, legally, it’s not). “Mike, what do you think I should do?” The man is the poster boy for CYA.

And that is going to be his undoing, because if they go in the direction they appear to be going, Mike Novick is about to show his inner Anakin Skywalker. Novick has always been a guy who was willing to make a tough decision when he had to, but always had the best interests of the country, if not the presidency, at heart. This season, however, he seems to be much more morally compromised, suggesting that Logan cover up Cumming’s “suicide” (I think we all know that Walt the Weasel didn’t really kill himself) and now going along with the decision to release nerve gas in a mall? That’s not Novick at all. He may be a shady double-dealer, but he’s not a murderer…or is he?

The one great bit came when the righteous First Lady Martha (please, please tell me they’ll take the gloves off her soon) had her first helping of humble pie in dealing with the widow of Walt the Weasel. She had fully planned on telling the woman everything, and then changed her mind at the last minute, presumably because she finally realized how freaking crazy it would sound if she told a woman who’s just been told that her husband killed himself that her loving husband was also a traitor and a conspirator in the assassination of former President David Palmer. She’d react the same way any of us would: “Are you kidding me?” Marty may have thought that she sold out, but in truth, she did the only thing she could have done in that situation.

There is talk that “24” will soon become a feature film, and while in most instances that is a bad thing, I think it would be a very, very good thing here. Forget that Johnny Depp real-time mess that was “Nick of Time,” if you even saw it. I think that moving the premise of “24” to the silver screen will enable the producers to leapfrog some of the things that hold the show back….such as episodes like this one. Oh no, there has to be a major, tense moment at the top of every hour? Life just doesn’t work like that, kids. And making a movie of “24”: would skirt past that predictability instantly. Problems could happen at any time, which would keep the viewer constantly on guard. As it is, we always know that something bad is going to happen at the top of every hour, and no matter how drastic it is, it loses its impact since we can see the conflict coming down Broadway. I love “24,” but I’d be lying if I said that its trappings weren’t becoming a big, big hindrance.

“Let me just take this out to the BOOM!!!”

(Spoiler alert: Do not read this post if you have not yet watched last night’s conclusion to “Grey’s Anatomy: Code Black,” but still intend to)

After scoring the highest post-Super Bowl ratings in a decade with last week’s tension-drenched cliffhanger, “Grey’s Anatomy” delivered an equally satisfying finale to the two-part episode. With almost too many nerve-wracking storylines to keep track of — Meredith holding onto a live bazooka shell inside the body of a patient; Miranda Bailey about to give birth while her husband undergoes brain surgery in the operating room right next to the active artillery; top surgeons Preston Burke and Derek Shepherd risking death to save their respective patients; Chief of Surgery Richard Webber suffering an apparent heart attack (okay, that one was too much) — there was no way every single plot line could end happily, tied up in a shiny little bow festooned with hearts and flowers. Someone had to die.

But whom to kill off? Obviously, it couldn’t be a cast regular. They can’t kill Meredith, Burke, Shepherd or Bailey, and we all knew that supposed heart attack wasn’t going to slow Webber down. That still left a handful of appealing options, though: Christina Ricci’s freaked-out paramedic was ripe for some redemptive sacrifice, after abandoning her post and putting the regular cast members’ lives at risk. The patient housing the bazooka shell seemed a likely — if less exciting — candidate, based on sheer stupidity alone. And offing Bailey’s husband just as she gives birth to their child would have been a poignant, satisfying choice — and one with interesting long-term ramifications for her already prickly character.

And yet, none of these characters drew the short straw. That honor went to Kyle Chandler (who is better known for his work in CBS’s “Early Edition,” and who owes his agent a giant french kiss for getting him this part on the heels of his “King Kong” coup), the good-looking, no-nonsense guy from the bomb squad, who deals with this kind of thing every day.

After talking Meredith into removing the bomb from her patient, Kyle carefully takes the shell from her, tells her “You did good,” gingerly walks the live ammunition down the hall…and promptly explodes into a million tiny pieces.

It. Was. So. Freaking. Awesome.

The only problem is: How are the writers ever going to top this episode?

The honest truth is, they may not be able to. But I can’t wait to watch them try.

R.I.P. “Arrested Development” – We’ll miss you

Despite Fox’s blatant attempts at burying “Arrested Development” – the latest including the airing of the remaining four episodes during the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics – the two-hour season (series?) finale proved yet again why the show deserves to stay on the air. It’s unique brand of humor is something that should be celebrated, not censored, and while Fox may think that low ratings are enough reason to cancel a show, we can only hope that another network will come along and swoop it up. So, for now, we say goodbye to a series that never faltered in the time of criticism, and hope, in time, to be reunited once again. HBO, that’s your cue…

A show I like is being cancelled? What a shock…!

After only a few episodes, CBS is yanking “Love Monkey” and the odds of it getting out of the network-built cage are pretty slim. What a gyp. Tom Cavanaugh is hilarious, the episodes thus far have been great, the soundtrack’s awesome (this week found a schoolyard basketball game being played against the soundtrack of “Daft Punk Is Playing At My House”), and the story – an idealistic A&R guy tries to stick to his principles AND be a success in the music industry – is unique. I’d say that maybe VH-1 could pick it up, but that would utterly confuse the network’s viewers because it’s almost entirely about music…

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