Category: TV (Page 524 of 595)

I’ve never heard of a “junior slump”

So what was the point of bringing Dom onto the show? I don’t see it. I suppose it could’ve been simply to compare where Vince, E, Drama and Turtle came from to where they are now, but the payoff was meager at best. Of course, maybe Dom’s going to hang around but, after this week’s episode, it sure seems like his role has run its rather meaningless course.

“Aquaman” is the biggest movie on the planet and, as such, Vinnie is now the planet’s biggest movie star, which means everybody wants him in their film. There’s “Flight,” which Ari describes as “‘Dead Poets Society’ in space” (sounds an awful lot like his “‘it’s Spider-Man’ underwater” synopsis of “Aquaman”), and “The Sandman,” where Vince would play “a retard in a Red Cross tent in the Sahara.” “Flight” is offering Vince $8 million, “The Sandman” $9 mil, but Ari’s got something even better: “Medellin,” Vinnie’s dream role as Pablo Escobar. The only thing is, first Vince needs to convince Phil Rubenstein that he’s the guy for the part.

Enter Dom, whose sole function on the show (at least thus far) is to fuck things up. Of course, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, assuming that things getting fucked up actually serves a purpose. Dom, on the other hand, apparently fucks things up for the simple sake of fucking things up. After dropping an f-bomb in front of a bunch of kids at the opening of the new “Aquaman” ride last week, Dom lifted an original Shrek doll from Rubenstein’s house during a party this week. When the doll is discovered missing, Ari and Rubenstein point their fingers at Dom (thanks to a story Dom told during the party) and, after repeatedly denying that he did it, Dom confesses to the boys to (hopefully) save the role for Vince. The doll is returned and the movie, apparently, is Vinnie’s, only now it seems Warner Bros. plans to start filming “Aquaman 2” the same day that “Medellin” is set to begin.

Yawn.

Here’s my problem: How ‘bout having something actually derail Vinnie’s ride? “Aquaman” became the highest grossing film in (make-believe) movie history despite statewide rolling blackouts a couple weeks ago which, as Eli Cash pointed out in a comment, should’ve made it impossible for the movie to rake in $116 million. And now, apparently, Vince is still going to get the “Medellin” role even though Dom pocketed the Shrek doll. Conflict makes for more compelling television, but so far this season the conflict hasn’t altered the path of the story at all. Sure, the blackouts and the Shrek heist have served as speed bumps but, in the end, Vinnie and the boys wind up exactly where we thought they’d be. There was genuine uncertainty last season: would “Queens Boulevard” shine at Sundance, did Vince want the “Aquaman” role, did James Cameron want Vince for “Aquaman”? Granted, “Queens” killed and, despite all the Mandy Moore drama, Vince rode “Aquaman” to superstardom, but this season I get the feeling that everything is a foregone conclusion and all the other stuff is just filler, distractions. I didn’t get that sense last season. What purpose did Dom serve? He was in and out in two weeks and his presence didn’t affect the outcome of anything. And what about Drama and Turtle? Is Drama out of work? Did the writers forget about Turtle representing rapper Saigon last season? There’s no depth to the story, no tension, no uncertainty. It’s all too linear and, frankly, I’m bored.

But the writers have a chance here: How will the scheduling conflict work out? Please, please tell me Vince won’t figure out a way to get both roles. Maybe he passes on “Medellin” to do the sequel, or maybe the Pablo Escobar role is too tempting and he bails on the next big movie franchise. Either way, I’m hoping the writers show some balls and creativity here because, so far in this third season, I haven’t seen much of either.

TV (No-)Shows On DVD

As you already well know if you’ve stepped into a DVD retailer recently, the “Television” section of such stores has been growing by leaps and bounds. To look at the sprawling rows of full-season sets, you might think that there couldn’t possibly be any TV series that hasn’t yet made it to DVD…but, dude, seriously, if you really think that, you’re a naïve fool. (Sorry, nothing personal.) While it’s one thing for a show to be cancelled after less than a season and then simply vanish into the mists of time – although more and more networks are trying to cut their losses by marketing “complete series” sets of such series – how about a show that lasted, say, 10 years? Anything that popular is surely available, right? Wrong, pally. Bullz-Eye has compiled a list of our top 15 shows that remain unavailable on DVD but ought to be, as well as a few additions that we’d like to see come out…even if we aren’t exactly holding our breath.

Check out the list here.

And, hey, what shows are you still waiting to see on DVD? Leave your comments below and let us know!

It’s official: the second season of “Rock Star” will suck.

Okay, maybe it won’t the suckiest piece of suck that ever sucked, but this story leads me to suspect otherwise.

Instead of finding a band whose lead singer has died or even left the building with no intentions of returning, the big brains at CBS have created a band. It consists of…

Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) on drums.
Jason Newsted (Metallica) on bass.
Gilby Clarke (Guns ‘N’ Roses) on guitar.

I’m not saying that this trio of metal legends don’t rock hard individually. They might even rock hard individually. But this can only lead to the contestants vying to win the honor of fronting the band – called Supernova, by the way – performing really, really shitty covers of hard rock songs…and I just don’t have the stomach for that.

Unfortunately, I have this horrible feeling that middle America does…and that’s the unkindest cut of all.

If you miss the days when Isaac Hayes was the most awesome man alive…

…and, to be fair, he’s still not far from the top of the list, even if things got tainted a bit over his departure from “South Park”…you’ll want to check out the recently-released second season of “The Rockford Files.”

Hayes appears in an episode entitled “Hammer of C Block,” playing Rockford’s former prison pal, Gandolph “Gandy” Fitch. Gandy’s just gotten out of the joint after a 20-year stint, and he’s on the lookout for the person who was really responsible for the crime that got him locked away. (Although Hayes was decidedly younger than the character he was playing at the time, his always-shaven head lent him an older look, so all they really had to do was sprinkle some grey in his beard and voila!) Was he really innocent…? Well, you’ll have to watch the episode, won’t you? And trust me, you want to. It’s a really impressive dramatic, emotional performance from Hayes, one that will remind you that, although he’s best known for his comedic appearances these days, he’s actually a pretty good actor, too.

Almost as impressive as the return of Dr. Noah Drake

To celebrate the 25th anniversary of one of the most monumental moments in the history of soap operas – or as I like to call them, “my stories” – Genie Francis is returning to “General Hospital” to play Laura Spencer.

Actually, I’d never seen a single episode of the show until earlier this year, when my wife watched Rick Springfield make his dramatic return to the show, but even as an 11-year-old, I remember all the hoopla when Luke and Laura got married.

Francis has left the show on several occasions, most recently in 2002; at that time, her character has suffered a mental breakdown after she killed her father, and she’s been living at a psychiatric hospital in a catatonic state…as far as you know.

No word yet on what the plot will involve, but it’s fair to presume that, at the very least, Laura gets better.

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