Category: Stand-Up Comics (Page 10 of 11)

Stand-Up Hall of Fame: Bullz-Eye inducts their inaugural class

Anyone who’s attended an open mic night at their local comedy club can testify to the fact that just because you think you’re funny and you can make your friends laugh does not automatically mean that you’re a comedian. You’ve got to have good material, you’ve got to have a sense of timing, you’ve got to have a stage presence, and…well, actually, that’s pretty much the holy trinity. It might seem easy when you’re sitting in the cheap seats, but it’s a rare individual who can bring all three of those qualities up to the mic and use them to bring the house down. After all, as Peter O’Toole said in “My Favorite Year” (though lord knows he didn’t say it first), “Dying is easy; comedy is hard.”

We decided to create a Stand-Up Comics Hall of Fame to pay our respects to those comics who, in their careers, have made us laugh ‘til our sides hurt and then some. While there are some individuals whose inclusion is a given, with each induction into the Hall, we’re going to try and mix things up by throwing in a bit of a wild card. In some cases, it might be a more recent comedian; in other cases, it might be someone who wasn’t all that famous but who was nonetheless tremendously influential to those who followed in their footsteps. Rest assured, however, that anyone who makes it through these hallowed doors has unquestionably earned their place here, and if you doubt us, don’t worry: We’ll also provide recommendations of their best material for your listening and viewing pleasure.

The Inaugural Class:

Richard Pryor – “I went to Zimbabwe…and I know how white people feel in America now: relaxed! ‘Cause when I heard the police car, I knew they weren’t coming after me!”

Rodney Dangerfield – “Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”

Bill Cosby – “My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, ‘You know, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.’”

Lenny Bruce – “Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government.”

Bill Hicks – “George Bush says ‘we are losing the war on drugs.’ Well, you know what that implies? There’s a war going on…and people on drugs are winning it! Well, what does that tell you about drugs? Some smart, creative motherfuckers on that side.”

Click here to read more about each inductee.

Carrot Top – so much scarier now

Last night I was watching “The Late Late Show” and Carrot Top was a guest. Now we all know the guy has had some scary plastic surgery on his face, but now the dude looks like he’s been eating nothing but steroids. His arms are huge now, and well…it’s just fucking scary. So let’s take a trip down memory lane with photos of CT from the “normal” looking days to the current freak show.

And for an even scarier look at the new look…just hit this link for some juiced photos.

Ron White hearts Dane Cook. No wait, scratch that… he hates Dane Cook

A friend of Ron White’s tells him that Ron’s girlfriend said sometimes, she just wanted to stab him. Then the friend tried to soften the blow by saying, “Well, she was drunk.” Ron says, “Fuck, that’s the only time I tell the truth!”

Though it was only 10:00 in the morning on the west coast when Bullz-Eye chatted with Ron White, he must have been drunk, because he positively lays into Dane Cook towards the end of the conversation. A sample:

BE: Mitch Hedberg seems to be one of those comedians’ comedian. Dane Cook was talking about how much he loved him, and…

RW: Who?

BE: Dane Cook?

RW: Who’s that?

BE: Dane Cook is a wildly popular comedian. He’s a Boston guy, but he spends a lot of time in L.A. He just hosted “Saturday Night Live” recently. Very manic, funny guy. Very nice. He was pretty broken up about Mitch Hedberg as well.

RW: Did he know him?

BE: Not intimately. I think they were acquaintances, but I don’t know if it was any deeper than that.

RW: I was kidding, I know who Dane Cook is.

BE: I was gonna say, I was hoping you were pulling my leg.

RW: (He) does not make me laugh, at all, in any way, shape or form.

BE: Huh.

RW: It looks like smoke and mirrors. But it works for him, so…

White goes on to call Cook out for exaggerating about his album sales, putting down the Blue Collar guys, and putting himself in the same league as Bill Cosby. Harsh stuff, but he also takes the time to send some love to Lisa Lampanelli, Jim Gaffigan, and even found nice things to say about the girl who wanted to stab him; apparently, she could suck a golf ball through a straw, which is a pretty valuable skill for a woman to possess if she’s nuts.

You can read the full interview here.

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