Category: Reviews (Page 115 of 120)

DVD shuffle: 01/17/06

January 17, 2006 / Jason Zingale

Out on DVD this week:

1) Lord of War – RENT: An entertaining-at-times satire on the how-to of gunrunning, this film is certainly worth checking out. I haven’t had a chance to preview the two-disc special edition release of the movie, but by the looks of it, this is one special edition to stay away from.

2) Two for the Money – RENT: Another entertaining movie that just isn’t good enough to recommend for a purchase. Both Pacino and McConaughey are great, but there’s hardly any bonus features worth watching more than once.

3) The Man – PASS: The sheer fact that this film was #2 on my Worst Films of 2005 is more than enough reason to stay away from this piece of garbage.

4) Underclassman – PASS: Almost as bad as “The Man,” this teen comedy was one giant cliche. Oh, and Nick Cannon isn’t funny. He never was, and he never will be.

Also out on DVD this week is the teen horror flick “Venom” and the corporate documentary “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room,” as well as season releases of “Doogie Howser, M.D.” and “Lois & Clark.”

Movie DVDs, Movies, Reviews

The best ’70s b-movie ever – The Van!

January 17, 2006 / Jason Thompson

Hello kids, Roy Munson here with another suggestion for your fun time movie viewing schedules. If you’ve never seen it, than I suggest you check out the groovy van-centric/dope-addled flick “The Van” from 1977. It’s all about this goofball named Bobby (played by Stuart Goetz) who gives up his crappy car for an awesome van nicknamed “Straight Arrow” in a quest to lay chicks. Straight Arrow’s got it all – a waterbed, shag interior, TV, tea maker, the works! There’s even a disturbing scene where Bobby shows off the van to his mom and she starts almost orgasming on the waterbed. Creepy!

The Van is chock full of memorable moments, especially when it comes to Bobby’s come-on lines. You’ll thrill seeing him hitting up girl after girl with the classic line, “Wanna go out to my van and share a joint?” Hell, who wouldn’t, especially after all that Lucky beer they imbibe throughout the feature! There’s cheeseball sex a-plenty, good dope smokin’, and even some jug wine drinking! Whooo! And if that’s not enough, Danny DeVito himself stars as Bobby’s boss at the local car wash. Danny’s also doubling as a bookie, so you know wacky mayhem eventually ensues. And don’t miss the big scene where Bobby and the gang check out a roadside van convention!

However, my favorite moment of the whole movie is when Dugan, the big, brainless bully of the movie challenges Bobby to a van race. Bobby calls Dugan a turd, and Dugan replies “No one calls Dugan a turd!!!” He keeps repeating this over and over as they race down the street. Pure gold, I tell you. And what’s more, this flick features the Sammy Johns hit “Chevy Van,” as well as the best love song ever, “Early Mornin’ Love,” also sung by Johns. So if you want a movie that has it all, including the most carefree and moronic leading character ever seen in a flick, then “The Van” is for you.

Actors, Movie Comedies, Movies, Reviews

Something for everyone

January 12, 2006 / Jason Zingale

In what may go down as the second worst weekend of 2006 (we’re saving that special #1 spot for February 10th), this week’s film release schedule is a smorgasbord of variety. There’s the urban comedy (“Last Holiday“), the once-a-year Disney sports drama (“Glory Road“), and the teenage romance “Tristan & Isolde.” I still don’t know why they’re marketing that movie as a “Romeo & Juliet”-esque romance when it’s clearly more like the King Arthur love triangle than anything else.

Also out this week are award hopefuls “The Libertine” and “The New World,” that is, if they don’t get bumped another five months.

Movies, Reviews

A movie you must see…COBRA!

January 11, 2006 / Jason Thompson

Suddenly I feel like I’m writing a review for that dumping ground of consumer reviewing, Epinions with my title for this piece, but I must insist if you have never seen Sylvester Stallone’s Cobra, then by all means put it at the top of your to-do list. I had never seen it myself until my brother got me the DVD as a joke gift (it was a Stallone two-fer that also includes Tango and Cash). I had remembered seeing news for it when it first came out ages ago, on something like Entertainment Tonight, with Sly’s response to a mad bomber threatening to blow up a supermarket being, “Go ahead, I don’t shop here.” ZING!

Cobra is a movie so shitty that it’s worth watching for its unintended comedy. It certainly ranks at the top of Stallone’s flicks as far as I’m concerned. Plus, you also get to see what Brigette Nielsen looked like before she turned into a walking chimney-stack saddle bag. Yeah, I know she was in other flicks before this one, but here’s one where she’s looking relatively normal. She plays a fashion model in Cobra and the part where she’s doing a photo shoot with robot props that looked like they were designed in the ’50s and slapped together in two minutes is hysterical. But so are Stallone’s grunts of dialogue in this, such as “You’re the disease and I’m the cure,” and “This is where the law stops and I start…sucker!” it’s pure HOLLYWOOD GOLD.

Plus, Cobra sports one of the coolest cars ever to appear in any film ever. A custom Mercury, this is the kind of car that outcools even Starsky’s ride. Never has there been a cooler car in a movie. And never will there be again. So there you go. Have a look at this movie, and if you’ve already seen it, see it again. Dammit, just go buy the damn thing and love it as much as I do. Stallone hasn’t made a good movie since, and everything he did before this was just bullshit. Cobra RULZ.

Actors, Actresses, Movie DVDs, Reviews

DVD shuffle: 01/10/06

January 10, 2006 / Jason Zingale

Out on DVD this week:

1) Transporter 2 – RENT: Fans of Jason Statham will definitely want to check out the sequel to his U.S. breakout film, but it’s nothing worth owning. The special features are brief and not very interesting, but it’s an enjoyable popcorn flick perfectg for a rainy day.

2) Hustle & Flow – BUY: Terrence Howard proves that he’s the next Denzel Washington with his performance in this Sundance favorite, while the DVD offers tons of behind-the-scenes material that is actually worth watching.

3) Red Eye – RENT: I never got a chance to see Wes Craven’s latest entry, but fellow Bullz-Eye critic David Medsker gave it rave reviews and I can’t help but trust his opinion.

4) The Constant Gardnener – RENT: Yet another political thriller that’s not all that thrilling, but it’s a good story nonetheless.

Also out on DVD this week are re-releases of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” “Dead Poets Society,” “Good Morning Vietnam,” and “The Return of the Pink Panther.” And availble now in stores are the latest installments of the Disney Treasures rollout that includes volume two of “The Chronological Donald,” “Disney Rarities,” and “The Adventures of Spin & Marty.” These two disc sets are perfect for kids and any fan of Disney’s early work.