…then by all means stay away from this online “dark movie” quiz, sponsored by M&M’s. You will not stop until you’re finished. I got 39 out of 50 before I just had to walk away. (If my employers are reading this, I did this on a Friday night, not during regular business hours, whatever those are.)
Category: News (Page 322 of 401)
Coming to an Internet site near you (maybe) – Dustin Diamond’s sex tape! Dustin, better known as Screech from TV’s “Saved By The Bell” reportedly has a sex tape making the rounds. It apparently includes a three-way and a Dirty Sanchez! Awesome! This is what good porn is all about, folks! C-list celebs letting it all hang out and then some.
“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”
…and said, “Sure, I’ll take the lead role in one of the most daunting book-to-film translations of all time. Piece of cake. Why not?”
The translation in question is none other than “Atlas Shrugged,” the sprawling, 1200-page epic penned by Objectivist author Ayn Rand back in 1957. Panned by some as an ode to selfishness, while lauded by others as a piercing indictment of communism and the welfare state, the book explores a future in which the nation’s greatest thinkers, artists and industrialists voluntarily withdraw their talents from public access — forcing the “little people” to fumble along without them.
According to a joint survey conducted by the Library of Congress and the Book of the Month Club, “Atlas Shrugged” is “the second most influential book for Americans today.”
Second only to what, you ask? The Bible. How’s that for high stakes?
And yet, if anyone can pull off the role of a woman dedicated to promoting “rational self-interest” above all else without coming off like a right-wing harpy…it’s probably the same woman who can steal the Sexiest Man Alive from America’s Sweetheart and, due largely to her significant humanitarian efforts, still come out of it smelling like a rose.
Good luck, Angelina. Don’t screw this up.
And I didn’t even get to see it! Wait, I didn’t even know it was a new show till I heard the news myself. So now you know, too…yes, “Happy Hour,” another FOX network show has met its demise. Didn’t take too long, either. One episode? Brilliant But Cancelled is running a contest with all the new shows for this season lined up on a deathwatch sort of thing. Place your bets on which show will be axed next! I’m thinking they have to put “Heroes” on there eventually.
“May I drop my pen for you?”
Well, okay: Technically, Simpson’s new line of restaurants featuring voluptuous, scantily clad waitresses who drop stuff a lot will be called “Daisy Duke’s,” named after Simpson’s voluptuous, scantily clad character in the recent Dukes of Hazzard film. Hot pants will be required attire for all staff except, presumably, big ol’ Chef Cooter and the rest of the kitchen crew.
Just like nearly every other major decision in Jessica’s life (when to lose her virginity; when to divorce her husband; whether to wear the low-cut dress or the really low-cut dress…), the restaurant plan is the brainchild of Jessica’s father/manager, Joe Simpson.
Both Simpson sisters and their manipulative, leering father were recently chastised by Christian minister Bob Harrington for using sex to sell their music and other products — a criticism this latest move seems unlikely to address:
Harrington fumed: “Their father has replaced his faith in the Lord with the love of money, which is the root of all evil. He has replaced holiness with horniness.
“Jessica and Ashlee will reap the dismal crops they are sowing. Their breasts will sag and their faces will wither and they will be left with nothing but a hollow shell.”
And, we hope, some tasty chicken wings.
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