Category: News (Page 321 of 401)

We are the Knights who say…

…”What do you mean we’re not premiering ’til January?!?!?”

After suffering the indignity of being the last of ABC’s new sitcoms to debut, the network’s best hope for the comedy market – “The Knights of Prosperity” (formerly known as “Let’s Rob Mick Jagger”) – has had its debut date of October 17th scratched. Instead, it’s now been officially put on hold until after the holiday season, with imprecise discussions of a premiere sometime in January. BOOOOOOOOOOO! This was my favorite comedy of the 2006 fall season, and I’m PISSED that it’s taking it so long to emerge…mostly because ABC decided to put such a huge promotional push behind the excruciating “Ugly Betty” that “The Knights of Prosperity” was going to be lost in the shuffle.

Okay, well, at least the good news is that, by January, the show it was supposed to be paired with – Ted Danson’s “Help Me Help You” – will surely have been cancelled; it was a terrible teaming of comedy sensibilities, and both shows probably would’ve ended up flopping as a result. I just wonder what they’re gonna find to put with it…

Box Office Roundup: Shocker! A good movie actually makes money

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) The Departed: $27 million (first week)
We wonder how Robert De Niro feels about Marty putting Leo DiCaprio in all of his new movies. One thing’s for sure, when someone finds Leo’s lifeless corpse wash up on the shores of the Baja peninsula, Bobby D better have airtight alibi.
2) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning: $19.2 million (first week)
You’re sick, sick people, and you should go into therapy.
3) Open Season: $16 million ($44.1 million, second week)
One more animated animal movie and I’m entering the forest with an Uzi.
4) Employee of the Month: $11.8 million (first week)
Quote from Matt Stone about upcoming targets for future “South Park” episodes: “Trey really wants to go after Dane Cook.” Sweeeeeet.
5) The Guardian: $9.6 million ($32.4 million, second week)
We got nothing.

Now you too can look this good

It’s okay to admit it: Haven’t you always wished that just a smidgen of Cher’s extraordinary fashion sense might someday rub off on you?

Well, that day has come. The former Mrs. Sonny Bono is auctioning off numerous possessions at the Beverly Hills Hilton…and if the price is right, you can own your very own piece of her fabulousness.

The two-day auction is being featured live on eBay today and tomorrow, and includes such items as a $30,000 brass bed from her “Gothic Revival” days; a $50,000, 17th century oil painting; and several outfits suitable for wearing to a séance, an S&M club, or Sunday Mass.

So bid high and bid often, people! Proceeds from the auction will presumably go towards helping the songstress replace her few remaining natural body parts with the more durable plastic ones of which she is so clearly enamored.

Readin’ is super awesome, y’all!


“Buy these shoes or I kill the puppies, y’all.”

Carrie Underwood has proven that her marketability extends beyond posing with puppy dogs and tennis shoes: the former “American Idol” winner is set to appear on posters for the Oklahoma Library Association’s “Read Y’all” literacy campaign.

We applaud Carrie for using her powers for the forces of good rather than evil, and would certainly never stoop to suggesting that the literacy campaign’s slogan was developed by a drooling inbred hick drunk on his own moonshine…

But seriously: “Read Y’all”? That’s the best you got? Maybe y’all need to think ‘bout lettin’ a Yankee come up with yer dang literacy slogan next time…

P.S., I love Spike

“Buffy,” “Angel,” and “Smallville” alum James Marsters has landed his most high-profile movie role to date, starring with Hilary Swank in the film adaptation of best-selling Cecilia Ahern novel “P.S., I Love You.” The book is about a widow whose late husband leaves her 10 tasks to complete in order to work her way through the grieving process; Marsters will play the best friend of Swank’s deceased husband.

With a built-in audience of the book’s legions of fans, plus a supporting cast that includes Kathy Bates, Gina Gershon, Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Denny from “Grey’s Anatomy”), and potentially Lisa Kudrow…this is one project to keep an eye on.

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