So says Jack Black in the latest public announcement about music and movie piracy.
Actually, if the MPAA and RIAA took this approach in persuading others not to steal, people might actually to be half-tempted to listen. If nothing else, at least they’d know that:
“No cash = no inspiration. No inspiration = no rocket sauce. No rocket sauce = no kick ass rock n’ roll music or movies.”
In yet another sign of the coming apocalypse, Cinematical has announced that Michael Bay intends to remake Alfred Hitchcock’s classic, “The Birds.”
Naomi Watts is rumored to be under consideration for the role originated by Tippi Hedren, and while Watts is more than capable of handling the job, we still can’t help wondering two things:
1. Which executive producer is going to tackle Bay’s inevitable question about “How do we get all these damn birds out of the movie?” and
2. What convoluted plot device (not to mention prickly negotiations with the ASPCA) will Bay employ in order to arrive at the film’s inevitable climactic moment involving thousands of birds falling from the sky while simultaneously exploding into glorious, blazing, feathered fireballs?
We’ve seen Hitchcock, Mr. Bay…and you, sir, are no Hitchcock.
Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:
1) The Prestige: $14.8 million (first week)
We’d take this moment to rejoice the first place finish of Christopher Nolan’s awesome magic flick, but we just know it’s going to get slaughtered by “Saw III” next week.
2) The Departed: $13.7 million ($77.1 million, third week)
Fast fact: The first Martin Scorsese movie to break $100 million was…”The Aviator.” Who knew?
3) Flags of Our Fathers: $10.2 million (first week)
Between this and the underwhelming performance by “Jarhead,” it appears that we are suffering from patriotism fatigue. And the studio is suffering from being $80 million in the hole.
4) Open Season: $8 million ($69.6 million, fourth week)
“Well, it stars Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher…” “Stop. We’re not seeing it.”
5) Flicka: $7.7 million (first week)
Tied with “The Grudge 2.” One of the studios is lying.
Every year, when October rolls around, we here at Bullz-Eye start scrambling to come up with a Halloween-themed feature. Last year, we put together a list of our top-15 horror movies, and, sure, we could’ve done that again, but what would’ve been the point? Were there really any releases within the last year that would’ve changed our list? Granted, “The Descent” was creepy…but not top-15-of-all-time creepy. So we started thinking of other aspects of Halloween, and we kept coming back to the idea of doing something on monsters. But as we looked at our list of monsters, we – and by “we,” I mean the wife of one of our editors (hi, Jenn!) – noticed an interesting trend: Behind every good monster is a woman. Sometimes she loves him, sometimes she doesn’t…but if she doesn’t, well, hey, he’s a monster; that’s not going to stop him from loving her. So with that premise in mind, we’re presenting a list of our favorite monstrous men (and beasts) and their lovely ladies.
Here’s a sample…
Jason Voorhees and his Mother: The first love of a man’s life is invariably his mother, and unless you develop an Oedipus complex, that’s pretty normal. Too bad “normal” is about the last adjective you’d use to describe either Jason Voorhees or his mother, Pamela. If you’re a dedicated viewer of the “Friday the 13th” film series, you already know that Mrs. Voorhees had her problems; she was already suffering from schizophrenia before she gave birth to a hydrocephalic child…and when she thought he’d drowned off the shores of Camp Crystal Lake, well, that really sent her over the edge. Nine murders later — each done in Jason’s name, of course — Pamela got her just desserts in the form of decapitation; to be fair, though, it came courtesy of the machete she’d been wielding against an innocent girl only moments before. Jason – who, funnily enough, wasn’t actually dead after all (whoopsie!) – paid tribute to his late mother by taking both her head and her body to his shack in the woods, where he built a very lovely shrine/corpse storage area in her memory. It’s just what Pamela would have wanted. – WH
You can check out the entire list here.
While all the Trekkies or Trekkers or whatever the politically-correct term is are experiencing simultaneous excitement and apprehension at what the next “Star Trek” film is going to be like (and writer J.J. Abrams is offering virtually nothing in the way of information about what to expect, which isn’t helping any), several fans are basically saying, “Ah, screw that,” and taking things into their own hands. Even more impressively, they’ve scored the assistance of Walter Koenig (Chekov), Nichelle Nichols (Uhura), and Alan Ruck (Captain Harriman in “Star Trek: Generations,” but you probably know him better as Cameron from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”). Check out the trailer for the upcoming flick; I have to say, while I know the budget can’t be but so much – and most of it almost certainly went to secure the cast – it really looks pretty good.
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