Category: Movies (Page 415 of 498)

Rapid Fire Rejects: Volume XV

Underground
A movie like “Underground” relies solely on the power of deception. Convince enough people to rent your little movie and you’ve just earned back your budget. Fool even more into buying it, and now you have enough money to run away and never be heard from again. Set around an underground tournament featuring 12 ultimate fighters from different disciplines, the film follows their progression in the tournament until just two remain. And like any competition where money and violence is involved, it’s all for the entertainment of a bunch of greedy businessman looking to earn some extra pocket change. Starring some of the world’s best fighters and stuntmen, each character is given about 20 seconds of background and stupid nicknames like The Homeless and The Foreigner. It’s all pretty lame in an I-sure-hope-the-action-makes-up-for-it kind of way, but unfortunately, it doesn’t. Not only is the acting horrendous, but so is most of the fighting. The action sequences shouldn’t feel like they’ve been choreographed, but they positively reek of it. Of course, when the lamest dude in the competition is the one who wins, it’s difficult to expect anything less.

Perfect Creature
Attention Dougray Scott: I know you’re still pissed about losing out on the chance to play Wolverine (because, well, your career would be on a much different path if you had), but can you please, puh-lease, just crack a smile every once in a while so we can all rest assured you’re not an emotionless robot? Granted, the dude is playing a vampire in his latest direct-to-DVD role, but even bloodsuckers smile every once in awhile, right? Perhaps not, but it’s hard to believe Scott was able to take the subject matter so seriously when this New Zealand spin on the gothic horror genre is so incredibly tame. Vampires bound to God? A deadly epidemic? Been there, done that, thank you very much.

The Long Weekend
To be fair, “The Long Weekend” isn’t really as bad as it sounds. In fact, had the filmmakers toned down the raunchiness of it all, it could have actually been a decent rental for fans of sex comedies like “American Pie.” Instead, this tale about a hotshot ad executive whose brother spends the entire weekend trying to get him laid, is more concerned with frontloading the movie with goofy viral clips a la “America’s Funniest Home Videos” than just telling the story. And though it gets marginally better towards the end, it doesn’t make the final product any easier to watch.

Surf School
I’m proud of the fact that I made it through a whopping 27 minutes of “Surf School” before my DVD player imploded – not because it was as bad as that horrendous National Lampoon vehicle for Paris Hilton, but because it was much, much worse. Any movie made by Righteous Dudes Productions and Thongs R Us Entertainment is definitely going to have one of three things – hot chicks, bad actors and a chimpanzee dressed in a bikini. Amazingly, “Surf School” has all three. Need I say more?

Have you seen this man?

His name is Steven Chupnick. He is the Managing Editor of the website JewReview.net…and he has never seen a “Star Wars” film.

Never.

Not one of them.

As you can imagine, this man, who otherwise appears to be a fine, upstanding member of society, was properly lambasted by his peers (including me) for this shameful omission from his list of life experiences. Of course, we’d all been drinking by this point of the evening – we’d just finished up a night at the Friar’s Club, where we sat around sipping Old Fashioneds and watching Jeff Goldblum play piano with the rest of his jazz quintet – so it got a bit rough. I believe the phrases “how can you even function in society” and “where do you hide your antennae” were bandied about, not to mention the inevitable “omigod, that’s just fucking crazy!” (I believe I said something to the effect of, “So, when you score that interview with Harrison Ford for ‘Indy 4,’ will you say, ‘Now what’s this I hear about you being in ‘The Star Wars’?”)

Still, at least one writer…I believe it was Kevin Kelly, from GeneralRubbish.com…said wistfully, “Y’know, I actually envy you a little bit, because you can still experience them for the first time; I wish I could do that.”

Of course, this is after he’d yelled, “That’s not even normal!” So let’s not give anyone too much credit.

Anyway, I basically only post this because A) it’s funny, B) it’s actually a little surprising, and C) at the time of his omission, I pulled out my camera and said, “I didn’t think people like you existed; I’m gonna need to have photographic proof when I write about this, because otherwise no-one’s gonna believe me when I tell them I’ve met someone who’s never, ever seen a ‘Star Wars’ film.” But, by God, NOW they will!

Duchovny speaks!

After the “Californication” panel yesterday, David Duchovny was literally SWARMED by writers with their recorders extended…and, yes, I was one of them. But, eventually, my arm got tired – I was having to stretch over the shoulder of another fella – and I have to give up the ghost. Still, I got this pic, and I also got this valuable info:

Duchovny is anticipating that he’ll finally, FINALLY be receiving the script to the forever-gestating “X-Files” movie sequel. It’s a co-write by Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz, which longtime fans of the show will be giddy about, given that Carter, of course, is the show’s creator, while Spotnitz wrote, story-edited, and produced many fine episodes for the series. (Carter will also direct, according to Duchovny.) Gillian Anderson is on board, as you’ve no doubt heard rumored…but, then, this flick has been nothing but rumors for the longest time. Lord knows we’ve heard rumors that a script was on the way before. So what makes this different?

“This time,” says Duchovny, “I really am supposed to get the script next week. And I’m looking forward to seeing what (Chris) did.”

It’s to be a one-off script, i.e. there are no intentions to continue the franchise as an ongoing series of sequels, and – all things being equal – the plan is for filming to begin later this year, with a release date for sometime in 2008.

Bonus anecdote: Evan Handler, who plays Duchovny’s character’s agent on “Californication,” joked, “It’s going to open the same weekend as the ‘Sex and the City’ movie.” Duchovny’s reply: “We’re gonna crush ’em!”

The best Comic-Con ever?

It’s certainly shaping up that way, if the programming schedule is any indication. Of course, with absolutely no presence of “Indy 4” or “The Dark Knight” at the event, we’ll have to cross our fingers and hope that a few surprises are in store.

Much like Mr. Harris, I too will be journeying to the West Coast this month to attend the 38th Annual Comic-Con, the largest celebration for all things comic books, movies and TV, taking place July 26-29th at the San Diego Convention Center. The full programing schedule has just been released and can be viewed here, but since there’s way too much for one person to cover, I’ll only be blogging on the biggest movie-related panels.

Check back here all weekend long as I report on first-look exclusives, interviews and announcements from all of 2008’s biggest movies, and continue reading after the jump to see the panels I’ll be covering:

THURSDAY:

DVD Sneak Peek 2007

Bill Hunt and Todd Doogan of The Digital Bits.com, along with DVD producers Charles de Lauzirika (Blade Runner: The Final Cut; Twin Peaks: The Complete Series), Robert Meyer Burnett (Shoot ‘Em Up, Valkyrie), and Javier Soto (Hellboy 2), offer exclusive sneak peeks of great upcoming DVD and high-def special editions in the works for release later this year. Exclusive footage from Blade Runner and Twin Peaks will be shown. Q&A will follow if time permits.

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures, DreamWorks Pictures, and Nickelodeon Movies present a bold new vision for the future of adventure. Be here for a one-of-a-kind presentation put together just for the fans at Comic-Con as you get a look at such highly anticipated films as Beowulf, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Stardust, Hot Rod, Iron Man, and the next installments of Indiana Jones and Star Trek, plus a few surprises. Appearing in person: JJ Abrams, Robert Downey Jr., Jon Favreau, Neil Gaiman, Roger Avary, and SNL’s Andy Samberg.

Lionsgate: Good Luck Chuck, The Eye, Saw IV

Get an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at Lionsgate’s biggest upcoming releases. First up, Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four), Dane Cook (Employee of the Month), Dan Fogler (Balls of Fury), and director Mark Helfrich take you behind the scenes of Good Luck Chuck. Then Jessica is joined by directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud (Them) for a haunting glimpse into The Eye. Horror master Clive Barker and the cast of Midnight Meat Train take you on a terror trip through hell. Finally, director Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II, Saw III), Tobin Bell (Saw I, II and III) and the filmmakers of Saw IV invite you to play a game in the cruel and deadly world of Jigsaw.

Fanboys

Fanboys is an uproarious comedy that follows a group of young friends on a cross-country quest to break into Skywalker Ranch and see Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace before it is released. Fanboys is a Weinstein Company presentation being released in theaters by MGM on January 18, 2008. Stars Dan Fogler (Balls of Fury), Sam Huntington (Superman Returns), Chris Marquette (Joan of Arcadia), and Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) join writer/director Kyle Newman and producers Matt Perniciaro and Dana Brunetti for a Q&A session.

FRIDAY:

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros. presents a sneak peek at some of its upcoming major film releases!

The Invasion is a nightmarish journey into a world where the only way to stay alive is to stay awake. The mysterious crash of the space shuttle leads to the terrifying discovery that there is something alien within the wreckage. Those who come in contact with it are changing in ominous and inexplicable ways. Producer Joel Silver appears in person.

In the supernatural thriller One Missed Call, people receive terrifying cell phone messages of their own final fatal moments. Stars Edward Burns and Shannyn Sossamon will be on stage to introduce film footage and answer questions.

In Whiteout, Kate Beckinsale stars as Carrie Stetko, the lone U.S. Marshal assigned to Antarctica, whose investigation of the continent’s first murder draws her into a shocking mystery. Now, with only three days until winter, Carrie must solve the crime before Antarctica is plunged into darkness and she is stranded with the killer. Star Kate Beckinsale appears in-person.

From writer/directors Larry and Andy Wachowski, the creators of the groundbreaking The Matrix trilogy, and producer Joel Silver comes the live-action, high-octane family adventure Speed Racer. Based on the classic series created by anime pioneer Tatsuo Yoshida, the live-action Speed Racer will showcase the kind of revolutionary visual effects and cutting-edge storytelling that have become the benchmarks of the Wachowski Brothers’ films.

In the all-new action comedy Get Smart, Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) is on a mission to thwart the latest plot for world domination by the evil crime syndicate known as KAOS.

In Trick ‘R Treat, the tricks and treats of Halloween turn deadly as strange creatures of every variety – human and otherwise – try to survive the scariest night of the year. Mike Dougherty appears in-person to discuss his directorial debut produced by Bryan Singer.

Written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons, Watchmen was originally published by DC comics as a 12-issue comic book series between 1986 and 1987, before subsequently being collected into a trade paperback. It is the only graphic novel to win the prestigious Hugo Award or to be named among Time magazine’s “100 Best English Language Novels from 1923 to the Present.” Director Zack Snyder will appear in-person to discuss the upcoming film and answer questions.

New Line Cinema

A gritty, fast-paced action thriller, Shoot ‘Em Up kicks into high gear with a memorable opening scene and never relents. New Line Cinema will show exclusive footage from Shoot ‘Em Up, and star Clive Owen, along with director Michael Davis, will be there to discuss the film! Also included in the presentation will be a special preview of New Line Cinema’s upcoming films, including The Golden Compass.

Warner Bros. Video

First up, 300 creator Frank Miller, director Zack Snyder, stars including Lena Headey and David Wenham, producers Mark Canton and Gianni Nunnari, and other special guests are on hand to discuss the groundbreaking film and its highly anticipated July 31 DVD release. Be the first to see a clip not included in the theatrical release! Then it’s the 25th Anniversary Blade Runner “Final Cut.” Director Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator, Hannibal) has created a new, definitive version of this landmark film, with scenes and special effects that have never been shown before. Catch this first preview of the new version by the legendary director of the final, authoritative. and best presentation of one of the most acclaimed science fiction films of the 20th century. This presentation will feature unseen clips from the new cut as well as a look behind the scenes that will be featured on the upcoming DVD box set. The panel includes Ridley Scott, Sean Young, Joanna Cassidy, Joe Turkel, James Hong, Syd Mead (designer/futurist), Mark Stetson (FX), and DVD producer Charles de Lauzirika.

Star Wars at 30 Years

This summer marks the 30th anniversary of the Star Wars saga, and its indelible influence on popular culture. We’ve got 30 years of great memories thanks to the galaxy far, far away, but there are also great things to come, too. Join Lucasfilm’s Steve Sansweet for a little Star Wars nostalgia, a review of the 30th anniversary year so far, and a look at what’s new and what’s coming for Star Wars.

Kevin Smith

He’s back, and this time not even traffic can stop him! Comic-Con favorite Kevin Smith holds court in another of his no-holds-barred Q&A sessions, talking about just anything he damn well pleases.

SATURDAY:

The Simpsons

Having just aired its 400th episode, The Simpsons has now released its first feature film. Join members of the team responsible for both and find out how they did it, including Matt Groening (creator and executive producer), Al Jean (executive producer/head writer), David Mirkin (former executive producer), Matt Selman (executive producer), Michael Price (co-executive producer), David Silverman (director of The Simpsons Movie), Matt Warburton (supervising producer), Don Payne (consulting producer), and Yeardley Smith (voice of Lisa Simpson). Moderated by Bill Morrison.

Rogue/Focus

Rogue Pictures invites you to preview a few of their upcoming releases, including Balls of Fury (with appearances by Robert Ben Garant, Tom Lennon and Dan Fogler), The Strangers (with appearances by Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman and writer/director Bryan Bertino), and Doomsday (with appearances by Rhona Mitra and Neil Marshall), plus other surprise appearances and announcements!

Disney

Disney and Disney-Pixar showcase two upcoming films with this exclusive Comic-Con presentation!

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian – Walt Disney Pictures and Walden Media present never-before-seen footage and a Q&A panel with the filmmakers of the second installment of the epic fantasy adventure series! Be sure to collect the exclusive Prince Caspian Comic-Con poster, designed by fans on Narnia.com, and selected by director Andrew Adamson!

WALL-E – From Academy Award–winning director Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo), WALL-E is the story of one robot’s comic adventures as he chases his dream across the galaxy. Meet director Andrew Stanton and sound designer Ben Burtt (Star Wars) as they present a first look at Disney-Pixar’s next animated adventure!

Universal

Universal Pictures’ presentation features a cast and filmmaker panel from one of its most exciting titles for 2008: Marvel’s new take on cherished superhero icon The Incredible Hulk. In person: stars Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, and William Hurt; director Louis Leterrier; and producers Avi Arad, Gale Anne Hurd, and Kevin Feige.

Sony/Screen Gems

This panel showcases three great new films from Screen Gems and Sony! First up, it’s zombie action at it’s finest with Resident Evil: Extinction – See the world premiere of the new trailer and meet the stars of this third and final installment of the Resident Evil saga, based on the wildly popular video game series. Alice (Milla Jovovich), now in hiding in the Nevada desert, once again joins forces with Carlos Olivera (Oded Fehr) and L. J. (Mike Epps), along with new survivors, including Claire Redfield (Ali Larter). On stage in person to take your questions will be Milla Jovovich, in her first ever Comic-con appearance, along with co-stars Oded Fehr and Ali Larter. Resident Evil: Extinction is in theaters everywhere September 21.

30 Days of Night – Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith’s vampire noir epic horror/thriller reaches the big screen under the banner of Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures. On hand to show clips and answer questions will be director David Slade, producer Rob Tapert, creators Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith, and stars Josh Hartnett (Sin City) and Danny Huston (Children of Men).

Superbad – Producer Judd Apatow follows his hit comedy Knocked Up with this highly anticipated look at the lives of several misfit guys on the eternal quest to find the right girl and prove that they’re not just bad, they’re Superbad. Apatow discusses the outrageous comedy audiences have come to expect from him. Joining Apatow will be his Superbad entourage, including Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, director Greg Mottola, screenwriter and star Seth Rogen, screenwriter Evan Goldberg, producer Shauna Robertson, and possibly even Bill Hader, if he will only listen to reason.

The summer of threequels isn’t over just yet

Allow me to quote Paul Rudd in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” when I say, “Y’know, I always thought that Matt Damon was a bit of a Streisand, but he’s rocking the shit in this one!”

After playing the Bond-like protagonist in the first two films, Damon returns for his final performance as Jason Bourne in the third chapter of the supercharged action series. The film hits theaters at the beginning of August, but we haven’t had the chance to see a full trailer until today. From the few minutes highlighted in the trailer, I think it’s safe to say that the movie promises to deliver the same level of action that made “The Bourne Identity” the official blueprints for every other action flick that followed. Paul Greengrass returns to direct, Julia Stiles switches sides as Bourne’s right-hand lady, and David Strathairn steps in as the new evil government agent.

Check it out and then come back to let us know what you think.

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