Category: Humor (Page 67 of 74)

Sometimes, it’s obvious why gossip columnist Cindy Adams is a legend…

May 15, 2006 / Will Harris

…and, sometimes, you wonder why she continues to be allowed to waste column inches in the New York Post.

Today’s column features both sides of the coin. It opens with a short but sweet interview with Mel Brooks, one of his first conversations since the death of his longtime spouse, Anne Bancroft…but, then, it ends with this:

SO if Crystal Gayle married Billy Crystal, she’d be Crystal Crystal; Ste vie Nicks married Stevie Wonder she’d be Stevie Wonder. If Star Jones had married Ringo, she’d be Star Starr. Barbara Walters and lawyer Dominick Barbara? Barbara Barbara. Bo Derek and Beau Bridges? She’s Bo Bridges. If Nicole Kidman married Mike Nichols she’d be Nicole Nichols. Iman to Imus? Iman Imus. If Cindy Crawford married Michael Crawford she’d be Cindy Crawford Crawford. And if Rosie O’Donnell had married Christopher O’Donnell, wouldn’t she be Rosie O’Donnell O’Donnell? Yeah, she would. And if anyone married Robert Blake, they’d be nuts.

Ugh.

Humor

“Desperate Housewives”: the lost pilot episode

May 8, 2006 / Deb Medsker

You knew it was bound to happen. Even when ABC ran the episode that introduced Gabrielle’s mother, wasn’t there a teeny, tiny voice at the back of your mind that kept on asking, “Hey, wait a minute: Shouldn’t Eva Longoria’s mother be played by Charo?”

Well, that particular ship has sailed, a missed opportunity. But that’s just fine…because this parody of the original “Desperate Housewives” pilot episode sees your Charo, raises you a Jerry Mathers, and throws in a brief appearance by the late Don Knotts as well.

If the actual series episodes were this much fun, maybe the show’s ratings wouldn’t have declined quite so much versus last year.

Desperate Housewives, Humor, TV

And now for your daily dose of crazy

May 6, 2006 / Deb Medsker

God bless Entertainment Weekly’s Popwatch for linking to this video of Tom Cruise attempting to get jiggy with it on BET, boarding his inner soul train, doing a new dance that must be called “the motorcycle,” and looking, as EW put it, “not a thing like like the Ricardo Montalban bobblehead on the dash of your crazy drunk uncle’s pickup.”

Can’t top that. Ain’t gonna try.

Actors, Humor

If you’re looking for a good bathroom read…

April 29, 2006 / Will Harris

…here’s one of the best books you’re ever going to find: Unsold TV Pilots – The Almost Complete Guide To Everything You Never Saw On TV, by Lee Goldberg.

If you laughed really hard at the “Fox Force Five” discussion in “Pulp Fiction,” you won’t be able to stop reading this book…and re-reading it, and re-reading it.

Here are just a few entries to whet your appetite:

Wurlitzer: Scott Maldovan inherits a run-down diner, and in it, an antique, mahogany Wurlitzer jukebox which not only plays timeless hits, but hurls our hapless hero into the past, to the time when each particular song was popular. In the unproduced pilot, Scott is sent to 1968 San Francisco to help a woman in her battle against drug addiction.

Ethel Is An Elephant: Todd Susman is a New York photographer who shares his apartment with a baby elephant abandoned by a circus. The proposed series would chronicle this awkward living arrangement and his constant battles with the city and his landlord to keep the animal.

Poor Devil: Sammy Davis, Jr., stars as the earnest but inept disciple of the Devil (played by Christopher Lee, no less) who constantly fails to win over souls.

Ebony, Ivory, and Jade: On the surface, Ebony Bryant (Debbie Allen) and Ivory David (Martha Smith) are a Las Vegas song-and-dance team, managed by slick guy Nick Jade (Bert Convy)…but they are actually three crack secret agents.

There are also a lot of failed pilots which included actors and actresses who would LATER become famous. After the flop of “Basic Instinct 2,” one wonders if Sharon Stone now wishes that ABC had picked up “Badlands 2005,” the story of a U.S. marshall (Lewis Smith) and his cyborg partner (Miguel Ferrer) who patrol the now barren American West in a high-tech car for a tough female boss…played by Stone, naturally.

SUCH an awesome book.

Humor, TV