Category: TV Action (Page 12 of 145)

There’s no other way to say it: the carnage from tonight’s episode of “24” made me positively giddy. Jack Bauer may have dispensed some Dirty Harry-style justice in the past, but this time around, he’s a Terminator. He doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, and he absolutely will not stop until you are dead. Jesus, I can still feel the small jabs that he hit that hit man with last week, but that shot of Novakovich’s suite littered with dead guys, with Novakovich himself taking a poker to the stomach…that was a thing of beauty. I have been waiting for years to see Jack do something like that. Way to give the people what they want, Fox. I love it when shows finally start acting like they have nothing to lose. Unfortunately, they usually only do so after they’ve lost everything.

Having said that, I’m still unhappy that Jack hasn’t thought to upload the incriminating video to the interwebs. On the plus side, Mr. Blonde still has a copy of it on his hard drive, and since the video is of Starbuck, and Buffy is the one that’s about to pay him a visit, it’s possible that Buffy will get one look at this video and want to blow the whistle whether Jack wishes it or not. Either way, it will be a huge missed opportunity if the world doesn’t see that clip.

I thought for sure that Timmy was going to quit on the spot when Allison asked him to organize the raid of a newspaper. He’s always had a strong moral compass. He has to know that this is bad juju. But never mind that: Jack had to know that White She Devil was not smart enough to evade the authorities long enough to get her piece written. Heck, how many of us are smart enough to fall off the grid? The second you use a credit card, boom, you’re done. Need cash? Can’t get any out of an ATM. She was a sitting duck, and Jack should have known that.

“Hello? Hey, Mr. Rafferty, how are you? Are the royalty checks still coming in?”

Then again, I’ll forgive him for having other things on his mind, namely how he was going to make I.M. Weasel sing like a canary about his involvement in the day’s events. I’m actually tempted to reinstate Logan’s other nickname of Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk, because the sounds he was making as he was grilled by Jack sounded just like a chicken. And, to bring the Terminator analogy back, I loved how Jack only wounded the American agents while mercilessly killing any and all Russians. I half expected him to say to Logan, after knocking one of his Secret Service agents unconscious, “He’ll live.”

So I.M. Weasel finally reveals his source within the Russian government, and it is none other than President Suvarov himself. Now forgive me, because I can be a little dense – I’ll pause while you get all jokes out of your system – but this doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Why on earth would Suvarov tell Logan anything? There is no good that can come from this, especially if he’s trying to torpedo a peace treaty that the President of the United States is pushing. If I’m Suvarov, I am meeting Logan’s call with a long string of phrases that vary on the theme “You dumb motherfucker!” Gee, thanks for not ratting me out, but you may as well have, dingus. Please tell me I’m missing something here.

That was a nice touch, though, to see that Jack planted a bug on Logan and overheard everything he said to Suvarov. Here’s the question, though: was he able to capture that recording? Overhearing isn’t exactly admissible in a court of law. Not that Jack is thinking about the letter of the law at the moment, but you get the idea. In case the video’s destroyed, he’s going to need a backup plan. Assuming he even has a plan at this point. Seriously, he’s killed every single Russian connected to Renee’s death. What else is left? Killing Suvarov? He should make a video of himself, in the event of his untimely death, where he explains everything that has happened up to now, and finish it by playing the recording of the conversation he just overheard, if he’s capable. Then, upload it to the Web. Have I mentioned that he should be uploading stuff to the Web, multiple times, and sending copies directly to TV stations as well?

Two hours left. It’s the end of an era, if you will. We’ve given nine years of our lives to this show, and in a week, it’ll all be over. They say that they want to turn it into a movie franchise, but as Mr. Paulsen points out, if people aren’t willing to watch it for free, who’s going to pay to see it? Surely the people at Fox know this, which gives me hope that they will actually have the balls to kill Jack in the final seconds of next week’s series finale, giving him a ten-second silent clock tick. Ah, but who are we kidding, that will never happen. The thing is, it should. For what he’s done in the last few hours, Jack’s either looking at death or life in prison, even if he succeeds in exposing two corrupt administrations. And I for one do not want to see Jack end the show behind bars.

I originally planned on titling this blog “…And you will know us by the trail of dead” after seeing that slow pan of Novakovich’s suite. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t pimp Ice-T’s hardcore side project from the early ’90s, which seems positively quaint now but was a big deal at the time, to the point where his song “Cop Killer” got him in so much trouble that Time Warner voided his contract. These days, of course, he’s a “Law & Order” guy. You know what would be really awesome? When the time comes to kill off his character, it’s at the hands of a guy who was amped up after listening to some rapper talk about killing pigs. I have to think even Ice-T would appreciate the irony of that.

Tonight’s episode of “24” felt like a blast from the past. It was pretty lean in terms of storytelling, it contained a hellacious, if predictable, end-around, and ended with one of the most vicious torture scenes in the show’s history. Pity it had one major, major flaw.

I liked that Dominic was so busy trying to nail down Bauer down that he took no notice of Chloe and Merv the Perv conspiring behind his back. Even when he noticed Chloe giving him The Look (you know the one), he just tinted the windows and kept on scheming. Fool. Nobody puts Chloe in a corner. Still, you’d think Dominic would show a little more diplomacy when safeguarding high crimes committed by the White House. By yanking that file away from Arlo, he may as well have stamped “CORRUPT” on his forehead.

As Jack is setting up the meet with White She Devil, I’m thinking to myself, “There has to be a better way to do this.” Not in terms of getting her the evidence (more on that in a bit), but in terms of meeting out in the open like that. So as it’s going down and he shows up, I knew he’d have a plan, and sure enough, he did. He didn’t care about getting caught on camera – he knew the hit man who took out Crazy Jackie would be there, and could then settle two scores for the price of one. Get the intel, and make the motherfucker responsible for Jackie’s death squeal like a stuck pig before ultimately killing him. Re-enter Mr. Blonde, to get the drop on Dmitri Sharpshooter.

But I have another idea.

“Let’s see, stab him, then the lighter fluid, then the blowtorch, then the pliers. No, pliers first. The crowd loves it when I open with that.”

That’s great that he was able to abduct – and torture the bejeezus out of – Renee’s killer, but if he just wanted to make sure She Devil got the video, why didn’t he just go viral with it? Post that puppy to YouTube, text her the link, have her record her own version in the event CTU discovers it, and send it to every TV station in New York City. She Devil said it herself, Starbuck’s tape alone was more than enough evidence to blow the lid off. He didn’t need to risk her life over it, which actually goes to Dominic’s point that Jack has indeed lost it, and is acting not out of duty but out of grief and hell-bent on revenge. I believe Jack has it mostly together; he did check himself after unloading about 20 hay makers on the helpless hit man. But let’s not kid ourselves, people: Jack Bauer is the Crow, and he will not stop until everyone responsible for Renee’s death is dealt with. And by dealt with, I mean gutted like a deer, but not before having a little blowtorch work done. And taking the cell phone memory card out of hit man’s stomach, staring him in the eyes the entire time…wow.

The bottom line is that Jack should go viral with the footage anyway, because once it’s out on the web, the government will not be able to control the message any longer. It’s an instant checkmate, and Jack, of all people, should know this. But hey, the “24” writers, for as advanced as their tech is, are slow on the draw with certain things. They actually used texting to their advantage this week, after passing on a golden opportunity to use it in an earlier episode. Before you know it, they’ll be Facebooking, tweeting, and then, when no one’s looking, sexting. Shhhhh!

I still have one question: has I.M. Weasel revealed how he suspected the Russians were involved in the day’s events? I remember him offering his services to Allison, and then blackmailing Mikhail into submission, but never really being forthright – not his strong suit, sure – with either of them. He must have known something, but what? If he heard chatter, then who was chattering? I hear chatter about lots of things, but I don’t offer my services to the President unless I’m 100% sure of my intel, especially if I’m a disgraced former President looking for redemption.

Time for tonight’s song, courtesy of a mid-’80s AAA-hungry Brian Setzer. This is the first time I’ve heard this song since its release, and all I could think of was Marshall Crenshaw. I’m frankly surprised Crenshaw didn’t write this, because it sounds just like him.