Category: American Idol (Page 53 of 56)

Last night was the final round of female performances on “American Idol” before getting down to the final 12 overall, and once again it was a night laced with mediocrity. The good thing is that it’s getting much more tolerable being an hour long instead of 2 hours or even 90 minutes. Here is the Vandalay recap:

THE GOOD

There was really only one great performance worthy of goose bumps and that was Nashville’s own Mandisa. After a hilarious video clip where she talked about sucking her thumb until she was 24 (24???) Mandisa reminded America why she has gotten this far and why she will possibly win it all when she sang “I’m Every Woman.” We have all been waiting for Mandisa to belt it out and pull away from the pack, and she clearly did that last night. Simon said it best: “You made everyone else look ordinary.”

THE IN-BETWEEN

Paris Bennett started things off last night, and while little Paris is a favorite in the Vandalay household, we agreed with Randy Jackson that she was just “ok” vocally last night, singing Gloria Estefan. But Paris is a compelling performer and that is going to count for something in the votes.

Lisa Tucker sang a Tiffany Taylor ballad. The coolest thing about this 16 year old was that they showed a clip of her saying Jimi Hendrix is an idol and that she is learning electric guitar….proceeding to play the lick from “Purple Haze.” This chick is now super cool in my book and probably will be to all the pimply faced boys that are now going to vote for her. She did a decent job singing last night but didn’t blow anyone away. However, Simon said that Lisa is “super talented” and will “sail through to the next round,” and I agree.

Katharine McPhee was rumoured to be pregnant after wearing that maternity looking top last week….see, it wasn’t just me. But she squashed those rumours and even wore tighter clothes to accentuate that fact. Katharine sang Aretha Franklin’s “Freedom” and did a pretty good job….vocally, Katharine is amazing. I’m just not sure she has the goods as a performer to take her into lofty territory.

Gigantic Ayla Brown sang a contemporary pop song by Natasha Bedingfield and took a risk in doing so because not everyone knows the song yet. She sounded pretty good but is going to lose points with that Paula Abdul looking hair flip she had going on. Still, Ayla brings it every week and will probably make it at least one more round.

Kellie Pickler did Melissa Etheridge’s “Only One” and countrified it a bit. Kellie is a dark horse in this competition because she may not have the best voice, but it’s damn good and she is cute has hell. She’s also got this silly country girl humor going on that makes her even cuter. Simon took things ten steps further by calling Kellie a “naughty little minx” and saying he liked her even better than Carrie Underwood. I agree wholeheartedly and I’m sure the folks on Music Row are salivating at the prospects of singing Kellie whether she wins “American Idol” or not.

THE BAD

Melissa McGhee sang Heart’s “What About Love” and did a pretty good job. But the problem, aside from her belly fat sticking out again, is that there is only room for six females in the finals. Melissa is just not at the same level as everyone else mentioned above. Oh, and Melissa, you might want to lay off the smokes.

Kinnik Sky talked about how her favorite food is chitlins, which is basically pig intestines…..ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Way to lose votes, Kinnik. Then she really punched her ticket home by taking on Alicia Keys’ “If I Aint’ Got You.” Um, Alicia is practically in the category vocally of Stevie Wonder…..there is just a whole ‘nother level that mortal humans can’t compete with. Needless to say, Kinnik bombed badly and should be the first to leave on Thursday night.

Tonight we have the guys…..Mrs. Vandalay thinks lispy Kevin will survive one more week but I disagree…..or maybe he will blow everyone away tonight. Well folks, that’s why they play the games. See you tomorrow…..

Last night was the “American Idol” results show, where we painfully sit for an hour to learn what we could have easily found out in less than a minute–namely, who is going home this week.

As they usually do on results night, the show started with a group performance of the remaining 20 contestants before whittling things down to 16. This week the group sang Stephen Stills’ “Love the One You’re With,” and though it was cheesy, somehow it wasn’t all that bad.

After this we were treated to the current reigning Idol, Carrie Underwood, singing her current smash hit, “Jesus Take the Wheel.” Okay, I have a few comments here. First of all, Carrie is not a bad singer, but please…….there are at least four better singers this season, and in my opinion there was at least one better singer last season. Bo, you got robbed. Furthermore, and no disrespect to Nashville and its songwriting community, but that song is awful. Does anyone else out there agree with me?

Pat Pat Pat Pat.

That is the sound of Art Vandalay patting himself on the back, because I accurately predicted the outcome last night four times. Yes, last night saw the end for big mouth Brenna, big breasted Heather, big bald head Sway, and big ego David. All kidding aside, it proved that 42 million Americans do have ears, and they voted the right ones off this week.

A sneak peak at next week will follow, but first……can Ryan Seacrest get more annoying with each week? Last night, when the guys were finding out how America voted, he asked each one of them to predict his fate. What are they supposed to say? Most of them offered the right answer…”I have no idea, Ryan.” Ryan, stop being a jackass and just tell us the results.

Next week the following contestants need to step up their performances or they will be on a plane back home: Kinnik, Melissa McGhee, Bucky, and lispy Kevin. After that, it will really get interesting, because the final 12 is when the great singers start to separate themselves from the really good singers. Stay tuned America, and since Ryan Seacrest kept reminding you to vote, I don’t have to tell you to do so. See you next week.

Vandalay, Out.

So last night it was the guys’ turn on “American Idol” and just like the ladies, there are 10 left who performed last night. After 5 minutes of the usual judge banter, the performances got underway and there was a least one clear cut leader, and a few duds……and, like the women, quite a bit of medicocrity.

THE GOOD

Okay, Chris Daughtry, who was the last guy to perform, wound up blowing everyone else out of the water, singing Fuel’s “Hemmorhage.” This dude can wail, he looks confident when he performs, he gives me goose bumps and he just has the goods to be a star right now. The judges agreed. Paula said “Do you know how good you are?” and Simon said Chris’ performance was the measuring stick for the rest of the guys. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Chris is as good as Mandisa and Paris, and maybe even good enough to win this whole thing. That, and dude is humble.

The other really strong performance of the night was Elliot Yamin, aka the Abe Lincoln impersonator…..well, Elliot shaved off his beard and turned in a great performance of a Stevie Wonder tune. Randy gave him a standing ovation and Simon even used the word “great.”

THE IN-BETWEEN

Taylor Hicks, who everyone affectionately knows now as the gray haired dude, attempted the Commodores’ “Easy.” It was just okay…..but even worse, dude kept ad-libbing this “whooohhh” almost after every line. Nothing has been more annoying in music since Michael Jackson’s “hee-heehhh.” There’s no denying Taylor can sing but he didn’t exactly show it last night.

Ace took on a Daniel Bedingfield song, and while Randy and Paula said it was good, I disagreed and so did Simon. Ace was clearly not an ace tonight….he strained a lot and didn’t look comfortable.

Gedeon, the dude with the smile as wide as Hollywood, sang Sam Cook’s “Change is Gonna Come.” He’s a bit goofy and animated but really sounded pretty good. Simon even made reference to the fact that he’s got a natural ability akin to some of the great Motown artists from 30 and 40 years ago. I’m going to declare Gedeon a sleeper here.

Will, the Fred Savage look-alike who also reminds me of a young Paul O’Neill (my friend Kramer once promised this sick kid that Paul could hit two home runs in a game). Anyway, Will sang Kenny Rogers’ “Lady” and the song choice was bad for him….it was kind of boring and didn’t showcase his voice enough. Simon said 11 year old girls might like it, but that’s about it.

Bucky made reference to the fact that the food in California is much different than where he is from in North Carolina. Ma’s Diner serves up fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and sweet tea….but in Cali he said the menu looks French. Anyway, Bucky sang Garth Brooks’ “Thunder Rolls” and did pretty good, though to me it sounded like karaoke or a bar band performance. The judges thought it was pretty good too but not nearly the caliber of some of the better singers here.

Lispy Kevin sang “Heard it Through the Grapevine” and he made reference to the fact that he’s getting more attention from chicks now. He said “Hey ladiesth, howsth it going?” and now I know who he reminds me of: Butthead. Now imagine Butthead trying to sing Marvin Gaye, and we have a problem.
Kevin wasn’t awful, but the novelty is wearing off.

THE BAD

The two that I’m picking to get voted off this week are Sway and David the crooner.

Jose “Sway” sang Stevie Wonder’s “Overjoyed” and definitely struggled with it. Anyone that takes on the great Stevie Wonder is taking a risk, and Sway just didn’t do the song or himself any justice. Adios, Jose.

My other choice for elimination was David, who sang Frank Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight.” Definitely his genre, but he was pitchy and totally unconvincing. The judges agreed, and Randy said it best: “I was bored.” I bet most of America was too and it’ll show tonight.

So let’s recap…..my top three right now are Paris, Mandisa and Chris….honorable mention to Lisa Tucker, Katharine McPhee, Elliot Lincoln and Taylor “Gray.”

The Vandalay choices for elimination are Sway, David, Big Mouth Brenna and Heather (they’re not real, and they’re not spectacular). Join me tomorrow for the recap!

Last night the 10 remaining female contestants on “American Idol” got to show their stuff again.

Unfortunately, the performances were pretty mediocre across the board. It seemed every chick either picked the wrong song or picked a song with no energy or emotion. The ones who were great last week were still pretty good, but pretty good is not going to win this thing.

Of course, the one good thing about last night was that no one really sucked bad enough to be a clear-cut favorite for elimination. But lucky for you I’m going to give you my picks anyway.

The show started with more judge banter…Paula and Simon admitting that they both annoy each other….really, do any of us care?

Here is the Art Vandalay breakdown:

THE GOOD

Again, it was hard to choose the best performances from a slew of mediocre ones, but two singers are clearly the most talented here: Mandisa and Paris Bennett.

Mandisa sang Faith Hill’s “Cry” and while it wasn’t the best song choice for her, Simon said it best: “When you are ‘on,’ there is no better female singer in this competition.”

Paris sang “Wind Beneath My Wings” and the judges accurately said that it was not convincing when a 17 year old sings an old lady song. This kid can also wail, but she played it a bit too safe last night.

THE IN-BETWEEN

It was a whole night of in-between, but here are the most mediocre of the mediocre:

Cutie Katharine McPhee started off the show with a Stevie Wonder ballad, a curious choice because it was both safe and slow enough to expose her difficulty staying in tune for the whole song. You can tell she’s got great pipes, but she just didn’t use them last night. And is it just me, or is this girl pregnant? Either that or she shops at the maternity store.

Kinnik Sky sang Gretchen Wilson’s “Here For the Party” and it almost seemed like she was shouting, not singing. Like Simon said, it was like a theme park performance.

Lisa Tucker sang an old Jackson 5 song and, while I think she’s one of the top females, she didn’t quite deliver last night like she’s capable.

Melissa McGhee made reference to that fact that she’s a “Florida girl” and always wears flip-flops, even on Hollywood red carpets….blah blah blah. She sang a Reba song that Randy said was “hot” and Paula, of course, agreed like she always does. Simon said Melissa did not connect with the audience and I agreed. Plus her belly was sticking out a bit too much for my liking.

Ayla, the basketball playing giant, sang a Celine Dion song. Mrs. Vandalay said she was wearing a “Betty Rubble” dress, the way it was cut on the bottom. Pretty funny stuff. Anyway, Ayla definitely exceeded expectations and the judges made it clear that she was one of the hardest workers and that might take her far in this competition.

Kellie Pickler sang Bonnie Raitt and did pretty well…..considering she was awful last week, Kellie definitely rebounded. And she’s got that cutesy, all-American look that might carry her a few more rounds.

THE BAD

It’s worth noting that after Melissa McGhee sang, I made note of the fact that Paula should switch seats with Randy, because all she ever does is parrot what he says and add more of her fluff. Miraculously, Paula heard me and did just that.

So then came Heather Cox, who sang Mariah Carey’s “Hero.” Paula accurately noted that Mariah Carey’s got big shoes to fill, and that you’re taking a risk when performing one of her songs in a competition like this. She wasn’t as bad as she was last week, but bad enough to get booted off. Mrs. Vandalay also pointed out that Heather’s got nice fake knockers….her job at the Foxy Unicorn should still be available to her.

Brenna Brenna Brenna. Your schtick gets more annoying every week. Brenna sang Donna Summer’s “Last Dance,” another incredibly brave choice of song. Brenna, you have danced your last dance on this show. You thought you were good, but trust me, America will not agree. Now just go away. And while you’re at it, please take Ryan Seacrest with you.

Tonight, it’s the guys…..will lispy Kevin sack up and sing something with more balls? Will Elliot finally morph into Abe Lincoln? Will Gedeon’s smile make Simon run? Will Fred Savage kick David The Crooner’s ass? Tune in and check back with us tomorrow for the recap.

Tonight’s episode of “American Idol” was the results show, where four of the 24 remaining contestants learned if they were continuing on or going back home. As has been the case for the past few seasons, this show was excruciatingly long. One hour to announce that four are going home? As you can imagine, they filled the show with lots of crap and lots of commercials, which, let’s face it, is really why it was an hour long.

First there was judge banter…blah blah blah. Then there was a group performance, which is always dripping with cheese, and I mean the kind of cheese you spray on crackers from a can. Tonight the group sang the Eagles’ “Take it Easy,” which was good for only one thing–a royalty check for the songwriters. Then they showed clips of all the performances of the last two nights, complete with judge comments.

All of the 40 million people who voted must have been saying along with me, “Let’s get ON with this already.”

Finally the women were seated in rows and they told everyone who was safe that they were safe, and brought Kinnik, Becky and Brenna to the middle of the stage. One of these women had the least number of votes. I’ll tell you who, after the break……
oh wait, this isn’t TV. It was Becky O’Donohue, the one who was a news topic today as photos of a Maxim spread from 2 years ago re-surfaced. Hey, she’s cute, and there’s no reason to believe Maxim or some skin rag won’t be calling her tomorrow. But her singing career is likely over. Of course, then they made her sing…..ugh. Stop torturing us and the ones going home, and just let them walk off the stage and into the sunset!

Then it was the guys’ turn. The bottom two were Bobby and Sway. Art Vandalay was right in predicting Bobby would be the first to go….that big gay Mexican cowboy thing was just not going to fly (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Bobby so wanted to take a parting shot at Simon but couldn’t get up the balls to do it. Either way, America made the right choice.

Then the girls were rounded up again, and the next to be eliminated was Stevie Scott. Once again, Art Vandalay was correct in predicting she would be one of the first to go. She just sang too softly and was so uninspiring.

Then back to the guys, and after trotting six of them out to the middle of the stage, country boy Bucky and raisin thief Patrick were left to learn their fate. The winner (or loser, actually) was Patrick, whose song choice of Melissa Etheridge’s “Come To My Window” proved to be his demise. Simon even re-iterated that. Paula, as she always does, said she was so sad to see Patrick go…..um, Paula is sad to see anyone go. She should just have another drink.

So there you have it…of course, they had to show this stupid montage at the end of the four–Becky, Stevie, Bobby, and Patrick–and their journey to get this far before bowing out.

Now we are down to 20, and what have we learned so far? America is not stupid, and is only going to accept greatness when ultimately choosing the next American Idol. See you all next week. And Patrick…we do know you stole the box of raisins from George Costanza.

Vandalay, Out.