Category: American Idol (Page 49 of 56)

Last night’s episode of “American Idol” had the remaining five contestants performing two songs each — one from the year in which they were born, and a current song from the Billboard charts. What was somewhat frightening about this was realizing that Katharine was born in 1984, and Paris in 1988. Nineteen Eighty Eight! Holy crap.

Lucky for all of us, the fact that there were ten performances and one hour to fill left less room for Ryan Seacrest and his stupid banter. So let’s go straight to the performances, broken down by contestant this week to make things easier.

ELLIOT YAMIN

Elliot was born in 1978 and started out with George Benson’s “On Broadway.” It was pretty solid and let’s face it, we all know Elliot can sing really well. Simon thought it was “disjointed,” but Randy and Paula liked it and I agreed with them. Elliot later sang Michael Buble’s “Home,” and with lyrics about going home, I was sitting there thinking of the implications. Dude, why would you choose that song? The karma can’t be good. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought so, because Simon also made reference to it. Even worse was that his performance of the song was a bit mediocre, and mediocre is not a good thing at this stage. Even worse than that was when Ryan called Elliot, “Yamin the Machine.” That is so bad I am literally at a loss for words….on to Paris….

PARIS BENNETT

Paris started things off with Prince’s “Kiss,” from 1988. But wait a minute. That song was released in 1986, wasn’t it? Well, yes, but Tom Jones and The Art of Noise also released the song two years later.
Randy, my dawg, surely you knew that? Anyway, it was a straight ahead performance, nothing earth shattering. Simon went further, saying it was “screechy and annoying.” Later Paris took on Mary J. Blige’s “Be With You,” and did a pretty good job of it. But as is the case at this stage, B-plus isn’t going to be good enough. Paris is definitely in danger of going home.

CHRIS DAUGHTRY

Chris was born in 1979 and started out with Styx’s “Renegade.” Suffice to say if and when Chris gets a record deal, he should record that song. It was just a perfect choice for him and Simon declared it to be a million times better than the first two performers of the night. Chris chose Shinedown’s “I Dare You” as his hit of today. Um, calling that song a “hit” may be a stretch….at least to me and Randy Jackson, who said he was bored by the song. Simon made reference to the fact that Chris was struggling a bit vocally with the second song, but that his first peformance was good enough to keep him in the running. I agree completely.

KATHARINE McPHEE

This much is certain — Katharine is a hottie with movie star good looks. But she butchered Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds” so bad that those looks might not save her this time. Simon said it was “in parts a mess,” and I disagree. The whole song was a mess! Anyway, Katharine redeemed herself in a huge way with her version of KT Tunstall’s “Black Horse And the Cherry Tree.” It was hands down the best performance of the second half of the show, and probably good enough to keep Katharine around at least one more week, maybe two.

TAYLOR HICKS

The gray haired wonder started off with Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music” from 1976. Simon thought it was like a wedding band performance, but I have to say this: Taylor has so much fun with this that you can’t not like the guy. And he really does sing his ass off. But he made a curious decision by singing the Beatles’ “Something” as his song from today’s charts…..that song is on the “catalog” charts or something like that, so it’s a huge stretch. Dude should have sang The Fray’s “Cable Car”….but to make matters worse, it was a mediocre performance. Regardless, America loves this dude and in my mind he is still the favorite to go all the way.

So there you have it. Let’s recap, shall we? Chris Daughtry was pretty solid, America loves Taylor Hicks and he was fun to watch, and Katharine McPhee’s second song was good enough to keep her around. Ladies and gentleman, that is going to be your top 3. Paris and Elliot continue to deliver B-plus or A-minus performances consistently enough, that there is no question they will both be heading home this week and next. I’m not sure what order that will be in, but that’s my prediction.

See you tomorrow when the final four comes into focus.

Vandalay, OUT.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, Art Vandalay is a prophet.

Once again, I correctly chose who would go home this week on “American Idol,” Kellie Pickler.

But more than that, it was sweet vindication at the beginning of the show, when Ryan Seacrest asked the judges if they had any regrets about Tuesday night’s comments.
Simon Cowell admitted that he was wrong about Katharine McPhee’s performance…that it was in fact way better on tape than what it appeared. Hey, I know I don’t get paid the big bucks to sit in those judge chairs and sip rum and coke, but I heard Katharine sing her ass off Tuesday and I called it. Even sweeter was the fact that she was in the top 2 of the voting last night along with Chris Daughtry.

But I digress…..so first of all, Seacrest let us all know that America set a record with 47.5 million votes on Tuesday night. I’m convinced that dude gets some sort of bonus based on how many people vote. Really, does anyone care if it’s 40 million, 45 million, or 47.5 million? That’s just a lot of freaking votes.

Then, we got treated to the vocal performance of Andrea Bocelli, who sang “Because We Believe.” Holy crap, can that guy sing. I’m not a fan of opera, and dude is more of a pop/standard singer with opera training….and also, that kind of thing bores me to tears….but you have to respect his vocal ability.

Former contestant Lisa Tucker was in the house with her parents, and apparently Lisa landed an acting gig and will be appearing on tonight’s episode of “The O.C.” Good for her.

Then the contestants were divided into groups of 2, and the first to be declared safe was the group of Elliott and Taylor, who we later found out, were the middle vote getters. Since Katharine and Chris were the top 2, that left Paris and Kellie. Paris was less than compelling Tuesday night, but clearly Kellie is not in her class vocally and it was time for her to go home.

So, back in Bumfuck, North Carolina, or wherever the hell she’s from, they can get the calamari and the SAL-mon ready. Oh, and since Kellie declared her lack of a boyfriend on Tuesday night, she can be sure that about 20 million dudes will be lining up for a chance in the batter’s box. At least her Idol experience was good for something.

Who will it be next week? I’m looking into my crystal ball but it’s not clear yet….we’ll have to see how it plays out on Tuesday. Till then, Art Vandalay is OUT.

Wow, is “American Idol” really only a few weeks away from the big finale? With six remaining contestants, the answer is a resounding YES. And we’re at that point in the season where the little things become more noticeable.

For one, Paula has a serious drinking problem. Anyone who saw her tear up after Elliott sang last night knows what I mean. Simon was even laughing, adding insult to the pathethic caricature that Paula has become. Secondly, Ryan Seacrest gets more annoying every week. He doesn’t have to do anything, because his act has just gotten tired. Dude, stop busting on Cowell….he brings way more to the ratings party than you ever will.

Okay, now it’s on to the competition. The contestants took on some great love songs last night, and had a little help from the legendary vocalist Andrea Bocelli and his producer, David Foster. More than anything, everyone really got some good advice from two very respected industry vets. But how would they fare live? Let’s check it out….

THE GOOD

I’m going to start with the really good, and that would be Chris Daughtry. Dude took on one of the most limp wristed songs of all time, “Have You Ever Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams. This song was from that limp-wristed movie, “Don Juan Demarco,” or something like that. But Chris’ performance was anything but limp-wristed. This dude can belt it out and make a wussy song have balls. Kudos bro, you are certainly in no danger of being kicked off this week.

Katharine McPhee sang Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing” and while the judges were lukewarm about it, I thought it was amazing. It really makes me wonder sometimes what the judges are watching…..yes, there is not another Whitney Houston and therefore Katharine took a big gamble, but come on…that was almost as good as the original. Of course, Katharine did her part to earn the male vote with a glorious display of cleavage.

Elliott Yamin sang “A Song For You” and this dude just continues to hang in there for one reason: he can sing like a mother. Not a mother in the true sense, but you know what I mean. Randy didn’t like the arrangement, which was kind of funny because David Foster made sure to chop up the song and make it different than the original. But even after Simon laughed at Paula’s water works, he admitted that Elliott’s vocal was “master class” material.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Paris Bennett took on Barbara Streisand’s “The Way We Were” and it was far from awful, but still nothing more than a B-plus compared to everyone else. Paula said Paris oversang it a bit, and there is some truth to that…wow, did I just agree with Paula Abdul? Lock me up. Anyway, there was a bit of fake something going on that I can’t pinpoint. Paris can sing her ass off, but still you don’t want less than a stellar performance at this stage.

Taylor Hicks is still my boy, but he’s in danger of getting kicked off after last night’s mediocre rendition of James Ingram’s “Just Once.” Come on dude, we know you can do better than that. Randy said it was the wrong song, Simon said Taylor looked “tight” up there, and that’s pretty much it. A good vocal, but it was boring as hell.

THE BAD

Kellie Pickler sang “Unchained Melody” and it was her second horrible performance in a row. Too bad for Kellie she doesn’t have Ace Young or Bucky Covington around anymore, because now her weaknesses are being exposed in a big way. Randy said there were pitch problems and that is being kind. If Kellie sticks around after this week, I’m convinced this thing is somehow rigged.

So let’s recap….Chris and Elliott are definitely safe. Katharine was great, but the fact that the judges didn’t like her performance puts her in danger of being in the bottom 3. Taylor is such a fan favorite but he also could be bottom 3 material this week…..Paris likely will be there and if Kellie isn’t, well then, see previous paragraph.

Also, let this be said…..we have to watch Andrea Bocelli sing tonight. I mean, dude has a great voice, but watching clips of him singing last night was kind of putting me to sleep. Am I alone in this thinking? In addition, David Foster might be a top-notch producer, but if he was my producer, I definitely would wind up decking him. I mean, calm down dude.

And Ryan….the more of Simon and the less of you, the better. Give the dude time to give his input before cueing the commercials.

Okay, i’m jumping off this soapbox now….see you all tomorrow.

Vandalay, OUT.

Good karma does count for something. Recently while drawing $20 from the ATM, a $50 bill came out and I did the right thing and returned it to the bank teller. Yes, my friends, Art Vandalay is a good person. Not only did the bank give me a cash reward, but last night Ace Young got kicked off “American Idol,” just as I had wished for a day earlier.

Of course, even though the show was thirty minutes long, we had to endure the agony of Ryan Seacrest trying to fill time and Rod Stewart performing. Actually the old man wasn’t so bad doing a rendition of “The Way You Look Tonight” from his latest collection of standards.

Then it was all business….Ryan divvied up the remaining seven contestants into groups of 3, plus one.
The plus one was Taylor Hicks, who was immediately told he was safe. I’m not stupid….the reason he was the first to safety was because he got the highest number of votes Tuesday night. Look out America, the fifth Idol just might have gray hair.

Then Taylor was asked to stand by the group he thought was safe…..Elliott, Kellie and Katharine…or Ace, Chris and Paris. He faked a move, shaking Chris’ hand, then moving to the other group…and he was correct. I guess Elliott really is going to keep hanging around….I mean, dude can sing his ass off, so it’s all good. But Kellie not in the bottom 3 after that awful showing Tuesday?

So then it was down to Ace, Paris and Chris and Paris was the first one of the three to be put back to safety. Then it came down to Chris and Ace….look, I didn’t count the votes but I can almost guarantee there was about a 10 million vote differential between Chris and Ace. Vocally at least, there is no comparison. America, you got it right.

Next week, the classically trained Italian pop singer Andre Bocelli will be guiding the Idols as they choose from the greatest love songs of all time. Thankfully we don’t have to see Ace sing a sappy ballad and watch Paula Abdul drool in her Coke cup. But more importantly, we’ve got a half dozen contestants left…..which means we’re only a handful of weeks from crowning our next Idol.

Wow, has this season been a blur? It has, and now we’re left with a final six of contestants that are all worthy of winning it all. Thankfully. See you next week my friends…

Vandalay, OUT.

For Mrs. Vandalay, it was a nightmare come true. She despises Rod Stewart like Red Sox fans despise the Yankees. Needless to say, I watched last night’s “American Idol” episode featuring Rod Stewart, alone.

But it wasn’t quite what I expected. The contestants didn’t sing Stewart’s hits or even his bad stuff (then again, those terms shouldn’t be mutually exclusive). Instead, like Stewart did on his latest album, they took on standards. And to the surprise of me, the judges, and probably all of America, the contestants really came alive last night. Well, most of them…..here is the recap:

THE GOOD

Chris Daughtry started things off with “What a Wonderful World,” and instead of trying to rock the song up, he stayed true to the melody and the mood, and it was a stunning rendition. The only thing that was weird was when he went to sit near the dude playing guitar on stage and almost looked like he was singing to the old guy. But Chris was still the man.

Paris Bennett sang “These Foolish Things” and, with her background in jazz, was totally in her element. But she still had to deliver a killer performance, and did just that. We all know Paris has good genes, but come on…..she’s really only 17? Wow. Simon said she was “terrific” and there’s not much more to say.

Taylor Hicks and Ryan Seacrest were yukking it up before he sang, about how “Saturday Night Live” was parodying Taylor the other night. But his performance of “You Send Me” was no joke……every week Taylor reminds us of why he’s still hanging around and is a serious threat to take home the big prize. It was a safe performance early, but as it went on and Taylor injected his personality…..let’s just say there is no stopping this gray haired wonder.

Katharine McPhee ended the night with a version of “Someone To Watch Over Me” and it was pretty frickin’ amazing. Simon said Katharine was in a different league compared to everyone else….I don’t know about that, but she sure as hell isn’t going to be in the bottom 3 this week.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Elliott Yamin was not mediocre, but a B-plus performance of “It Had To Be You” is not going to cut it at this stage of the competition. Simon hit it on the head…it was a good vocal, but lacked personality, at least compared to the others last night. Elliott, it might finally be time to go back to your day job of impersonating Abe Lincoln, or whatever it is that you do.

Ace Young was actually not bad for Ace Young last night. He cleaned up nicely, wearing a suit and slicking his hair back…..and Simon actually said his rendition of “That’s All” was “charming”……..the first real praise from Simon to Ace in weeks, but still it didn’t measure up to the four kickass performances last night.

THE BAD

As soon as I saw Kellie Pickler being coached by Rod Stewart, I thought of 2 things. One, Rod is probably wanting to throw her the Rod….and two, she’s not going to do very well tonight. I was right on at least one of those predictions…..Kellie sang “Bewitched” and to say it was pitchy would be kind to Kellie. She was just all over the place, and even claimed herself to have “butchered” the song.

It will be interesting to see how the voting turns out this week. Oh, and a word about voting….when Ryan Seacrest keeps telling America that they can’t complain about who gets kicked off if they don’t vote, I just want to jump through my TV and kick him in the nads…..dude, give it a rest…..every week like 40 million people vote, isn’t that enough for you? Or are 20 million of those you and Terri Hatcher hitting redial?

Based solely on performance, I think Kellie Pickler was the worst last night and should be going home…..however, she’s still way too cute, funny and generally talented enough for America not to give her another week or two. It’s probably going to be Elliott, because he’ s been near the bottom before and Simon’s comments about no personality may have cost him votes. I hope it’s Ace, because as far as I’m concerned he and Ryan Seacrest can both go take a long walk off a short pier.

Mrs. Vandalay will not witness Rod singing tonight, but she can forward through it later on TiVo.
Who will be going home? See you tomorrow for the results and commentary.

Vandalay, OUT.