Category: Actresses (Page 234 of 258)

If you listen closely, you can hear Flavor Flav weeping…

Brigitte Nielsen – who was destined to remain a long-legged, large-breasted footnote of the ’80s until she scored an extra 15 minutes of fame by appearing on “The Surreal Life” – has married for the 5th time.

The “lucky” fellow this time around is one Mattia Dessi, who’s listed in the Yahoo! article about the marriage as a “former model”; he must not have been a very good one, however, since Nielsen’s Wikipedia entry refers to Dessi as a barman. From model to bartender to a has-been’s boy toy. Gee, is that moving up or down the corporate ladder…?

Yo ho ho and a…what the fug?

To commemorate the opening of “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest,” we bring you this gem from our friends at Go Fug Yourself. A brief excerpt of the purported conversation between the lovely Ms. Knightley and her date appears below:

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: So, I’ve just bought these pink amateur-stripper shoes and I’m simply dying to take them out on the town.

OILY ORLANDO BLOOM LOOKALIKE WHO COULD BE HER BOYFRIEND RUPERT BUT MAY ACTUALLY BE ORLANDO BLOOM FOR ALL I KNOW: Oh, Kee, that’s SUPER. Whatever will you wear with them?

KEIRA: I’m not sure, but I do think it’s smashing how your profile looks so much like Luke Perry’s.

OOBLWCBHBRBMABOBFAIK: He is my everything.

KEIRA: I do reckon he’d have washed his hair a bit, though. Look, pay attention to me again, okay? The shoes. I’ve already got the skort suit to go with them, and it’s pretty spectacular. It looks like a Bed In A Bag set.

OOBLWCBHBRBMABOBFAIK: Well done, you. There isn’t a girl alive who isn’t cringing at how many of those she bought back in the 90s, and how fooled they all were by culottes. Making people uncomfortable is totally principle No. 1 of Siennaing yourself. Well played. …

Click here to read the full exchange, and have a happy Pirates’ weekend. Yaaaaarrrrgh!

President I.M. Weasel and First Lady of Crazy get their due

itzin

In recognition for one of its tightest seasons yet, Fox drama “24” was honored with 12 Emmy nominations today — the most for any broadcast network series. In addition to the obligatory noms for best drama and best actor, the show recognized strong supporting performances from Gregory Itzin as President Buck Buck Brawwk and Jean Smart as the mildly unstable First Lady.

Other nomination highlights:

– In contrast to last year’s near-sweep of the Best Actress in a Comedy category, the “Desperate Housewives” gang was nearly shut out, with only token African-American resident Alfre Woodard picking up a nod for her supporting role as Betty Applewhite.

– Despite winning Best Drama last year, “Lost” was not even nominated in the category this go-round…and neither were any of its regular cast members. Only guest actor Henry Ian Cusick was nominated, for his work as redemption-seeking, six-degrees-of-separation hatch-minder Desmond.

– “House” is one of the five best dramas on television…but that apparently has nothing to do with its Golden Globe winning star Hugh Laurie, who was overlooked in the Emmy nods.

– Cancelled shows are all the rage this year. Nominated shows that are no longer in production include “Arrested Development,” “Huff,” “The West Wing,” “The Comeback,” ” Will & Grace,” and “Six Feet Under.”

– Denis Leary earned a nod for his work in “Rescue Me,” presumably as a result of new nomination rules intended to broaden the field. Leary will likely be whacked by snubbed actor James Gandolfini from “The Sopranos.”

– “Grey’s Anatomy” also received an encouraging number of nods this year, with 11, including Best Drama. Sandra Oh and Chandra Wilson will battle it out within the Supporting Actress category for their roles as intern Cristina Yang and resident Miranda Bailey; my money’s on the feisty Bailey for that one.

The awards ceremony will air on NBC the evening of August 27, with Conan O’Brien to host. Click here for access to a complete list of nominees.

Meet the newest member of the Academy

dakota

Just in case you didn’t already feel like enough of an underachiever, Hollywood box office queen Dakota Fanning has just been invited to join the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences…at the ripe old age of twelve.

Fanning received the honor along with 119 other actors, directors, and other industry professionals including Dolly Parton, Joaquin Phoenix, Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, and Felicity Huffman.

Following her induction into the Academy, Fanning is expected to use her extra Hollywood mojo to bring about a substantial increase in movies that involve unicorns, rainbows, and the color pink.

Place your bets on its cancellation now

Ben Stiller has teamed up with CBS to create a show for his wife, Christine Taylor. And guess what? Ben will be playing her husband on the show! I have a feeling this thing will run a shorter life than The Ben Stiller Show, and have less than 1/3 of the laughs. Although, since it is on CBS and not FOX, I may be proven wrong about that. After all, JAG lasted way longer than the one week it should have.

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