Don’t you want this new Mary Jane statue?
I sure do. I just don’t know if my wife will let me have it.
Scroll down the page to get, ahem, a better angle.
Y’know, given the cleavage, even those who’ve never cracked the cover of an issue of “The Amazing Spider-Man” will know instantly that the model for this was not Kirsten Dunst…but the face sure does resemble Cameron Diaz.
Okay, fine, we’d like to think that no-one out there is so completely obsessed with “Jericho” that they’d actually rationalize that it’d be reasonable payback to actually drop an A-bomb on CBS for cancelling the show…but, hey, I dropped a few F-bombs in CBS’s general direction, if that counts for anything. Of course, I also offered them at least a thousand thank-yous for their decision to renew “How I Met Your Mother,” so, as you can see, I’m having a little turmoil over my feelings toward the network.
So CBS has revealed what the 2007 – 2008 season has in store for its viewers, and rather than wallow in sorrow, let’s just see if they’ve got anything that help us through the process of mourning “Jericho.”
MONDAY
Again, despite our annoyances with them, let us at least sing the praises of CBS for keeping the consistently hysterical “How I Met Your Mother” on the air; “The Class,” however, did not make it beyond its freshman year (you knew I’d make that joke, didn’t you?), so it’s now been paired with “The Big Bang Theory.”
“THE BIG BANG THEORY“ is a comedy from the Emmy Award nominated Co-Creator and Executive Producer of “Two and a Half Men” Chuck Lorre, about brainy best friends Leonard (Johnny Galecki, “Roseanne”) and Sheldon (Jim Parsons “Judging Amy”), who can tell you anything you want to know about quantum physics, but when it comes to dealing with everyday life here on earth they’re lost in the cosmos. Neither fully understands that scientific principles don’t always apply in matters of the heart — until they meet their sexy new neighbor Penny (Kaley Cuoco, “8 Simple Rules…”), a friendly screenwriter/waitress from the midwest who also happens to be newly single. She quickly makes an impression on the other members of Leonard and Sheldon’s geek squad — Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”), who portrays himself as the Casanova of Cal Tech, and fellow whiz kid Rajesh Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar, “NCIS”), who is rendered speechless around anyone unprepared to converse about the Theory of Relativity or other scientific jargon. The chemistry between this gaggle of geniuses and a delightful damsel is about to undergo a stimulating series of inter-personal experiments. Multiple Emmy Award winner James Burrows (“Will & Grace”) directed the pilot. Lorre and Bill Prady (“Gilmore Girls,” “Dharma & Greg”) are executive producers for Warner Bros. Television.
Okay, there’s potential here, since everyone knows that geeks = funny…but, then, I’m a geek, and we always prefer to laugh at ourselves. (It’s so much less painful than when others laugh at us.) Otherwise, Monday night remains essentially unchanged; it’s “Two and a Half Men,” “Rules of Engagement,” and “CSI: Miami.” Hey, look, another excuse to link to seven minutes of David Caruso’s best (read, “most groan-inducing”) one-liners!
Yep, ABC’s released their 2007 – 2008 schedule, and, as you probably guessed from the title of this posting, the biggest focus isn’t on how good or bad the new shows look but, rather, how lazy it looks for the network to have picked up a series that’s inspired by a series of commercials. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely laugh every time one of those commercials is on, but that doesn’t mean I want a half-hour series based on them…especially not when it means that “The Knights of Prosperity” gets cancelled and “The Thick of It” – starring Michael McKean, Oliver Platt, John Michael Higgins, and Alex Borstein – is passed over for pick-up. (How does that happen, anyway? The pilot was directed by Christopher Guest, fer crissakes!)
But that’s enough complaining for the moment. This is intended as an educational post, not a bitter diatribe. (Besides, there’ll be plenty of time for that sort of material in our Fall TV Preview!) So let’s take a look at how the fall schedule will look…and, uh, let’s also clarify that we’ll probably still end up getting snarky along the way.
MONDAY
We begin with more of that star-dancing crap at 8:00 PM…an hour and a half of it, apparently, since it isn’t until 9:30 that we’re scheduled to see the new Christina Applegate sitcom “SAM I AM.”
“Sam I Am” – When a terrible accident leaves Samantha “Sam” Newly in a coma for eight days, she wakes up with no recollection of any past experiences, memories or events. Faced with amnesia, Sam must start over. To her dismay she discovers that she wasn’t a particularly honest, good-hearted or loving person. In fact she was self-involved, narcissistic and devoid of real relationships – essentially a bitch. Sam must now struggle with her desire to be good and her temptation to be…not so good. Finding the line between good and evil is never easy.
Um…that’s a comedy? Well, anyway, after that, 10 PM finds another season of “The Bachelor,” which means we can’t get to Tuesday night soon enough.
Well, kids, NBC has officially released word of its 2007 – 2008 fall season, and here’s what we have to look forward to…
Monday
The night begins the same way it has for the last several months, with “Deal or No Deal”…but, finally, someone at the network realized that it might be wise to follow “Heroes” with a drama that at least vaguely resembles the program that precedes it. Thus, we have “JOURNEYMAN.”
“JOURNEYMAN“– From Emmy Award-winning writer-producer Kevin Falls (“The West Wing”) and Emmy Award-winning director-producer Alex Graves (“The West Wing”), “Journeyman” is a romantic mystery-drama about Dan Vasser (Kevin McKidd, “Rome”), a San Francisco newspaper reporter and family man who inexplicably begins to travel through time and change people’s lives. Along the way, he also must deal with the difficulties and strife at work and home brought on by his sudden disappearances. However, his freewheeling travels through the decades reunite him with his long-lost fiancée Livia (Moon Bloodgood, “Day Break”) — which complicates his present-day life with wife Katie (Gretchen Egolf, “Martial Law”) and their son. Reed Diamond (“Homicide: Life on the Street”) and Charles Henry Wyson (“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”) also star. “Journeyman” is a production of 20th Century Fox Television. Falls is executive producer and writer; Graves is executive producer and director of the pilot.
By the way, also very much of note is the fact that NBC is spawning a “Heroes” spin-off, entitled “ORIGINS.” The description is thus: “an innovative new spin-off that each week will introduce a new character — one of whom will be chosen by viewers through the ‘Heroes’ website on NBC.com to become a cast regular the following season.” No details yet on when it’ll air, though.
TUESDAY
Yawn. Another season of “The Biggest Loser” at 8. Hooray! Another season of “Law & Order: SVU” at 10! Sandwiched between the two, we get “CHUCK.”
“CHUCK” – From executive producer, Josh Schwartz (“The O.C.”) and executive producer-director McG (“Charlie’s Angels,” “We Are Marshall”) comes a one-hour, comedic spy thriller about Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi, “Less Than Perfect”) – a computer geek who is catapulted into a new career as the government’s most vital secret agent. When Chuck opens an e-mail subliminally encoded with government secrets, he unwittingly downloads an entire server of sensitive data into his brain. Now, the fate of the world lies in the unlikely hands of a guy who works at Buy More. Instead of fighting computer viruses, he must fight assassins and international terrorists. With the government’s most precious secrets in Chuck’s head, Major John Casey (Adam Baldwin, “My Bodyguard”) of the NSA assumes the responsibility of protecting him. His partner is the CIA’s top agent (and Chuck’s first date in years) Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strzechowski, “Gone”). They’ll keep him safe by trading in his pocket protector for a bulletproof vest. Also starring are Joshua Gomez (“Without a Trace”) as Chuck’s best buddy Morgan and Sarah Lancaster (“What About Brian?”) as Chuck’s ever-supportive sister Ellie. Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak wrote “Chuck,” which is produced by College Hill Pictures and Wonderland Sound and Vision in association with Warner Bros. Television.
Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:
We’re going off the grid for the summer box office fantasy season and doing it old school, with spreadsheets and all that funky math jazz! We’re not exactly excited about doing it that way, of course. But since Fantasy Moguls adopted that whole salary cap mentality, we just can’t get behind that. So we did a draft on our own. Where the movies are owned by only one person. No free love in this here joint, suckaz.
1) Spider-Man 3: $148 million
Wow. I mean, dude, like, wow. Do they even realize what kind of precedent they’re setting for the next “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie? They’re basically saying that the next “POTC” movie could be Krusty the Klown running down a beach with a sword while being chased by a cast of thousands, and it will surely break the box office record. Wow. I mean, like, wow, dude.
6) Lucky You: 2.5 million
We’re only mentioning this so Kevin Carr doesn’t feel quite so bad about picking a movie that opens the same weekend as “Spider-Man 3.” Don’t worry, Kevin, the negative word-of-mouth on “S-M 3” will surely bring “Lucky You” into the top five….or not.
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