Category: Action Movies (Page 151 of 165)

Bullz-Eye.com’s Directors Hall of Fame

One of the most repeated show-business punchlines of all time involves someone rich, powerful or famous being praised for their myriad of achievements, only to respond by saying, “Well, yes, but what I really want to do is direct.” It’s such a cliché, in fact, that you really can’t help but laugh when you hear it…and, yet, the ability to direct a good film is not something that comes naturally, nor is something that one can necessarily learn, even if they’ve worked in front of the camera for decades. An exemplary director has to be able to look at a scene and sense what’s going to work and what isn’t. They need to have their own style, their own vision, and the ability to present that vision to an audience in such a manner that, upon leaving the theater, they’ll say, “Oh, you could totally tell that was one of their films.”

As such, Bullz-Eye’s inaugural inductees into the Directors Hall of Fame are…ah, but that would be too easy.

First, at least try to guess which five directors were included by reading the following quotes:

1. “Once a month the sky falls on my head, I come to and I see another movie I want to make.”
2. “Because of the movies I make, people get nervous, because they think of me as difficult and angry. I am difficult and angry, but they don’t expect a sense of humor. And the only thing that gets me through is a sense of humor.”
3. “I am a typed director. If I made ‘Cinderella,’ the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.”
4. “People call me a perfectionist, but I’m not. I’m a rightist. I do something until it’s right, and then I move on to the next thing.”
5. “I don’t need a happy ending. I feel much happier coming out of a movie like ‘Sid and Nancy’ than I do ‘Ghost’ or something.”

If you’ve given up, click here…and when you’re done reading the histories of the various inductees, don’t forget to come back here to offer your praise, complaints, or anything in-between…

Box Office Roundup: The rumors of the horror genre’s demise were greatly exaggerated

Let the Winter Fantasy League (COFCA Death Squad) begin. Kevin Carr’s “But I Liked Lady in the Water’” steps in for TSSU Productions, and two studios change names.

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) The Messengers: $14.5 million (owner: Kevin Carr, But I Liked ‘Lady in the Water’)
Kevin’s fifth round pick beats Will Harris’ third round pick. Ouch. Both movies, however, deserve to be beaten senseless.
2) Because I Said So: $13 million (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
Did Michael Lehmann really “direct” this, or did he just herd the women like cats and let them run rampant while he filmed them?
3) Epic Movie: $8.2 million
And just like that, we are one step closer to the future that “Idiocracy” predicts.
4) Night at the Museum: $6.7 million, $225.3 million to date
Sweet Jesus, people. Have you no shame?
5) Smokin’ Aces: $6.3 million, $24.9 million to date
Does a movie really have a moral center if the movie’s sole moral act was completely meaningless?

This week: Eddie Murphy resumes his assault on good taste by donning a fat suit for a quick buck in “Norbit,” while Universal tries to make some money on this whole torture thing by making the needless “Hannibal Rising.”

Wonder Whedon no more…dammit.

Per a posting from Joss that’s available for viewing at whedonesque.org:

You (hopefully) heard it here first: I’m no longer slated to make Wonder Woman. What? But how? My chest… so tight! Okay, stay calm and I’ll explain as best I can. It’s pretty complicated, so bear with me. I had a take on the film that, well, nobody liked. Hey, not that complicated.

Let me stress first that everybody at the studio and Silver Pictures were cool and professional. We just saw different movies, and at the price range this kind of movie hangs in, that’s never gonna work. Non-sympatico. It happens all the time. I don’t think any of us expected it to this time, but it did. Everybody knows how long I was taking, what a struggle that script was, and though I felt good about what I was coming up with, it was never gonna be a simple slam-dunk. I like to think it rolled around the rim a little bit, but others may have differing views.

The worst thing that can happen in this scenario is that the studio just keeps hammering out changes and the writer falls into a horrible limbo of development. These guys had the clarity and grace to skip that part. So I’m a free man.

Well, sorta. There is that “Goners” movie I can finally finish polishing, and plenty of other things in the hopper I’ve wanted to pursue. I’m as relieved as I am disappointed, and both of those things lead to drink, so that’s a plus. Truly, you may be hearing some interesting things brewing in the coming months. But all potential jets therein will be visible.

But most importantly, I never have to answer THAT question again!!!! And you don’t have to link to every rumor site! Finally and forever: I never had an actress picked out, or even a consistant front-runner. I didn’t have time to waste on casting when I was so busy air-balling on the script. (No! Rim! There was rim!) That’s the greatest relief of all. I can do interviews again!

Thanks for your time. You are the people who make the world go ’round. Or, no, science does that.

-j.

ps All right, it was Cobie Smulders. Sorry, Cobes.

Box Office Roundup: World flocks to see stupid movie that parodies stupid movies, universe collapses on itself

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Epic Movie: $19.2 million (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
Kal Pann walks into a White Castle, and says, “I feel like I’ve been here before!” Jesus.
2) Smokin’ Aces: $14.2 million (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
At least they had the balls to keep Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades” in the movie, even if they pulled it out of the trailer. The movie blows either way, though we did like the dead-guy-as-hand-puppet bit.
3) Night at the Museum: $9.4 million, $216.7 million to date (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)\
In its sixth week of release, we officially call a moratorium on bothering to come up with anything snappy to say about a movie that doesn’t deserve the effort wasted on it the first five times.
4) Catch and Release: $8 million
Reel Times’ Mark Pfeiffer said this movie was so bad that it could kill Jennifer Garner’s career entirely. Yikes.
5) Stomp the Yard: $7.8 million, $50.6 million to date (owner: Bill Clark, A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
Such an innocuous little pick-up for Bill…and he won the league because of it.
6) Dreamgirls: $6.6 million, $86.6 million to date (Bill Clark: A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
Totally and inexplicably hosed out of a nom for Best Picture. That’s all we have to say on the matter.
7) The Pursuit of Happyness: $5 million, $152.9 million to date (Bill Clark: A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
This movie’s a week older than “Night at the Museum.” Next.
8) Pan’s Labyrinth: $4.5 million, $16.2 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Ah, red wine. Drink it, then beat someone’s face to a bloody pulp with the base of the bottle.
9) The Queen: $4 million, $41.2 million to date: $5.9 million (Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Does anyone else think this year’s Academy Awards show is going to be the most predictable, dullest show ever? Is there even any debate over who’s going to win?
10) The Hitcher: $3.5 million, $13.3 million to date (Bill Clark, Don’t Call Me Shirley)
Might we be witnessing the end of the torture-chic, ‘all horror, all the time’ movement? One can only hope.

15) Blood and Chocolate: $2.1 million
Very good, moviegoing public, you got one right. However, you still get 20 rosaries for the success of “Epic Movie.”

Final standings, fall season
1) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $370.3 million
2) What’s All This, Then?: $324.2 million
3) Reel Times Pictures $316.8 million
4) TSSU Productions: $288.2 million
5) Punch and Pie Pictures: $278.0 million
6) Seven Strangers Productions: $216.9 million
7) Scary Clown Studios: $196.7 million
8) Nights and Weekends: $181.5 million

The Fantasy Moguls League begins anew starting this week, with new studio head Kevin “Chrysler K-Carr” Carr stepping in for TSSU Productions. COFCA Death Squad, rise!

Box Office Roundup: Everybody loves Bill

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Stomp the Yard: $13.3 million, $41.5 million to date (owner: Bill Clark, A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
Bill Clark’s whites-of-their-eyes strategy pays off in spades, owning four of the top five movies in the second to last week os the season and vaulting into first place after spending the bulk of the year in seventh.
2) Night at the Museum: $13 million, $205.8 million to date (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)\
Will rides Ben Stiller’s unfunniness into fourth place, knocking Punch and Pie and their can’t-miss “Charlotte’s Web” into a measly fifth place. Dakota Fanning is already plotting to have Will’s entire family erased from history.
3) Dreamgirls: $8.7 million, $78.1 million to date (Bill Clark: A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
And I’m telling you that Bill’s not leaving the top five.
4) The Hitcher: $8.2 million (Bill Clark, Don’t Call Me Shirley)
Even he will tell you that he feels guilty about this one. Was that CGI rabbit the worst looking special effect in years or what?
5) The Pursuit of Happyness: $6.7 million, $146.5 million to date (Bill Clark: A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
The public’s thirst for syrup and mush, it appears, is endless. And Bill is only happy to capitalize on it.
6) Freedom Writers: $5.5 million, $26.8 million to date
I like hanky panky. Nothing like a good Swank-y.
7) Pan’s Labyrinth: $4.7 million, $10.1 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
When they say ‘don’t eat the fruit,’ and you see a hideous beast sitting next to a pile of dead children’s clothes, don’t eat the fruit.
8) The Queen: $3.7 million, $35.8 million to date: $5.9 million (Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Slowly, quietly, “The Queen” is outselling third round picks like “Deck the Halls,” and is about to overtake first round pick “Stranger than Fiction.” Helen Mirren: a bigger box office draw than Will Ferrell?
9) Children of Men: $3.7 million, $27.4 million to date (David Medsker, Scary Clown Studios)
Our favorite bit: the over-the-counter suicide drug. “Because only you know when the time is right.” Heh heh, suicide is funny.
10) Arthur and the Invisibles: $3.1 million, $9.2 million to date
Props for putting Mirwais’ “Disco Science” in an animated movie.

Current standings:
1) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $339.8 million
2) Reel Times Pictures $301.3 million
3) TSSU Productions: $283.9 million
4) What’s All This, Then?: $278.9 million
5) Punch and Pie Pictures: $274.4 million
6) Seven Strangers Productions: $211.5 million
7) Scary Clown Studios: $190.4 million
8) Nights and Weekends: $178.2 million

This week, the final week of the season: What’s All This attempts a left field sneak attack with “Epic Movie” and “Smokin’ Aces,” while Nights and Weekends and Scary Clown prepare for next season.

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