Fans of “Hot Fuzz” — which in an ideal world would be every person on the planet — now have something to help them while away the days until the movie hits DVD on July 31. Behold, the Hot Fuzz Sandford Standoff. Just try not to hit the one with the slender neck.
To play the game, click here.
His name is Steven Chupnick. He is the Managing Editor of the website JewReview.net…and he has never seen a “Star Wars” film.
Never.
Not one of them.
As you can imagine, this man, who otherwise appears to be a fine, upstanding member of society, was properly lambasted by his peers (including me) for this shameful omission from his list of life experiences. Of course, we’d all been drinking by this point of the evening – we’d just finished up a night at the Friar’s Club, where we sat around sipping Old Fashioneds and watching Jeff Goldblum play piano with the rest of his jazz quintet – so it got a bit rough. I believe the phrases “how can you even function in society” and “where do you hide your antennae” were bandied about, not to mention the inevitable “omigod, that’s just fucking crazy!” (I believe I said something to the effect of, “So, when you score that interview with Harrison Ford for ‘Indy 4,’ will you say, ‘Now what’s this I hear about you being in ‘The Star Wars’?”)
Still, at least one writer…I believe it was Kevin Kelly, from GeneralRubbish.com…said wistfully, “Y’know, I actually envy you a little bit, because you can still experience them for the first time; I wish I could do that.”
Of course, this is after he’d yelled, “That’s not even normal!” So let’s not give anyone too much credit.
Anyway, I basically only post this because A) it’s funny, B) it’s actually a little surprising, and C) at the time of his omission, I pulled out my camera and said, “I didn’t think people like you existed; I’m gonna need to have photographic proof when I write about this, because otherwise no-one’s gonna believe me when I tell them I’ve met someone who’s never, ever seen a ‘Star Wars’ film.” But, by God, NOW they will!
After the “Californication” panel yesterday, David Duchovny was literally SWARMED by writers with their recorders extended…and, yes, I was one of them. But, eventually, my arm got tired – I was having to stretch over the shoulder of another fella – and I have to give up the ghost. Still, I got this pic, and I also got this valuable info:
Duchovny is anticipating that he’ll finally, FINALLY be receiving the script to the forever-gestating “X-Files” movie sequel. It’s a co-write by Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz, which longtime fans of the show will be giddy about, given that Carter, of course, is the show’s creator, while Spotnitz wrote, story-edited, and produced many fine episodes for the series. (Carter will also direct, according to Duchovny.) Gillian Anderson is on board, as you’ve no doubt heard rumored…but, then, this flick has been nothing but rumors for the longest time. Lord knows we’ve heard rumors that a script was on the way before. So what makes this different?
“This time,” says Duchovny, “I really am supposed to get the script next week. And I’m looking forward to seeing what (Chris) did.”
It’s to be a one-off script, i.e. there are no intentions to continue the franchise as an ongoing series of sequels, and – all things being equal – the plan is for filming to begin later this year, with a release date for sometime in 2008.
Bonus anecdote: Evan Handler, who plays Duchovny’s character’s agent on “Californication,” joked, “It’s going to open the same weekend as the ‘Sex and the City’ movie.” Duchovny’s reply: “We’re gonna crush ’em!”
…here’s a handy guide to get you back up to speed.
1) I’ll start with the lamest of them all: Batman will be riding a Bat-Cycle. ‘Nuff said, really.
2) Batman’s suit has undergone a serious upgrade, and while it’s dangerously close to falling into Schumacher territory, it certainly works.
3) Anthony Michael Hall as The Riddler? The Scarecrow returns? It’s possible, but both still rumors at this point in time.
4) And finally, a spy report from the set of “The Dark Knight,” where the insider not only gives details on a key scene from the movie, but also talks a lot about Heath Ledger’s Joker.
…or does the trailer for this movie seem designed to completely sink the film at the box office?
I mean, the first three “Die Hard” films had one key element above all others: Bruce Willis was a smart-talking tough guy with rapid-fire patter that made you laugh even as he was kicking ass and taking names. I’ve seen this preview three times now, and each time, I find myself thinking, “Who is the morose motherfucker that made this thing?” It’s so dark that it practically creates a fun vacuum, in which no merriment can possibly exist; even the ostensibly funny lines don’t get a laugh because the overtones of the preview are so ominous. In fact, the only person who comes close to getting a laugh is Kevin Smith, and even his big line – “Who is this man?” – feels tacked on, like someone watched the trailer and said, “Yeah, I’m not still smiling here. Better show the fat guy.”
I spent all this time getting psyched for this movie, and, now, I almost don’t even want to see it. Based on the trailer, it doesn’t feel the first thing like a “Die Hard” flick.
Am I alone on this…?
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