Author: Mike Farley (Page 93 of 117)

Last night’s “American Idol” was, thankfully, the last round of the initial auditions before we head to Hollywood. Seven cities in four weeks, and what they did last night was essentially filler–a few great auditions and a few nut jobs from each city that they saved for one episode. Whew. After about two or three of those first shows, I’m begging for them to speed things up and get to Hollywood. Thankfully, we’re there and things usually move quickly at this point.

First, the freaks from last night…

26-year-old Luke was this really large dude in an even larger white T-shirt, and he sang George Michael’s “Faith” horribly out of tune. Simon said something about the “massive T-shirt” being too much, and he pretty much said what I was thinking.

21-year-old Tiffany McCampbell was a church choir singer who just shouted through her entire audition.

Then there was Ashley, 19, along with twin brothers Chris and Corey. Ashley is this cute blond who was dating one brother and then now, the other..I’m still confused by the whole dynamic, and I’m even more confused at why the brothers still like each other. Anyway, they all auditioned. First the brothers, who did some rap (one the beatbox, the other the rapping) about why they were better than last season’s Brittanum twins. If it weren’t for the rapping dude forgetting the lyrics, it wasn’t all that bad, but not good enough for Hollywood. Then Ashley took her turn, after letting Paula and Simon hold her dog (what is she, Paris Hilton?)….Ashley thought she was talented, but as Simon correctly pointed out, it was “excruciating.” Simon added that Ashley is probably used to getting what she wants, and she even agreed. Next..

Jay Smoove, whose real name Continue reading »

Last night’s “American Idol” was the Super Tuesday edition, meaning we were probably going to be interrupted by election poll results throughout the show. But not in Tennessee. We were interrupted more by tornado warnings that were very real and very destructive. The reason I’m telling you this is that it cut into “American Idol” a couple of times. I’m pretty sure that I only missed one result, but I could be wrong and may need you, dear readers, to help fill in the blanks.

The auditions were held in Atlanta, hometown of host Ryan Seacrest…and we got to meet Ryan’s parents for the first time….whatever.

On to the freaks…

The first contestant of the night was Josh Jones, a 26-year-old who sang Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” and freaked the judges out by bugging his own eyes out with every note he hit. It was so bad that they made Josh turn around. The thing is, he had a great voice, but then the tornado warning came and I couldn’t tell if he got through. I want to say no, but if anyone knows for sure, please comment below.

JP, who auditioned in Season 4 and said he was two people behind Carrie Underwood in line, really thought he was great. Unfortunately, no one else did. JP sang Rascal Flatts and it was nasally and horrible.

There was then a medley of suck Continue reading »

If you’re like me, you are getting weary of the initial round of “American Idol” auditions, and ready to kick this thing into Hollywood gear. After a while, it’s really just the same thing over and over again.
You can sing, or you’re a freak. Last night, they took us to Miami, where the producers predictably shoved Gloria Estefan references down our collective throat. And the auditions, pretty much, were not that good. Let’s start with the freaks…

Shannon McGough was one of the oddest contestants ever…she was an 18-year-old girl with an Irish last name and fair skin, but with what looked like Latino parents. And those parents owned a meat shop that Shannon also worked in. What’s more, she was adept at belching. Yes, belching. It was pretty funny, really. Shannon tried to sing Janis Joplin, and as Simon eloquently put it, it sounded like “Hungarian Janis.” I can’t put it any other way…it was just weird.

Some dude sang Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock” but inserted Paula Abdul’s name into it instead of “Rock.” Next.

Simon told this dude named Grant that he should come back in a dress, and it would make his audition better. Then this kid named Richard sang a Rascal Flatts song completely through his nose. The best part was when Randy Jackson attempted to imitate poor Richard.

Then there was Julie, Continue reading »

Last night’s “American Idol” auditions were held in Omaha, Nebraska for the first time ever, and it seemed like every other contestant was from some farm in Iowa with a town of 200 people…seriously. Anyway, Paula Abdul’s plane was delayed, so they started with just Randy and Simon judging. And just like last week, Fox gave me an hour of my life back, for which I genuinely thank them.

With that, here were the freaks from last night….

An effeminate dude named Chris started things off, and he carried a photo album with pics of himself and Kelly Clarkson. He also said he was a huge fan of Paula, who, lucky for Paula, wasn’t there yet. Anyway, Chris sang Kelly’s “Since You’ve Been Gone, ” and it was predictably horrible. He then asked if he could audition for the “Red Carpet” for the finale, and Simon took the liberty of giving Chris the gig, saying he just needed to contact his local Fox affiliate and tell them he approved. Hilarious.

Hard to believe, but aside from a medley of freaks singing Steeler’s Wheel’s “Stuck In The Middle With You,” they only showed one other dud last night. (Well, I think they did…our power went out for five minutes). That dud was Johnny, who was dressed in a gold jacket and said he was inspired by the great James Brown. Simon said he hated everything about it, and so did I. Paula, meanwhile, is drunk again! She even hiccupped during Johnny’s audition. Classic.

On to the good Continue reading »

Last night, “American Idol” took their audition round for Season 7 to Charleston, South Carolina. It was humorous and disturbing at the same time to hear Simon Cowell ask Randy Jackson if they were on the “west coast.” And it was a pretty weak batch of auditions in all, with only 23 contestants earning golden tickets to Hollywood. For those of you doing the math, that’s 23 out of 10,000, or 0.23 %. Well, no one said it was easy to become the next American Idol.

With that, on to the freaks…..

Raysharde was the first audition, and with an afro that would make Tito Jackson jealous and a voice that he compared to Clay Aiken, you had the makings of a freak show. But then, dude wasn’t horrible, it’s just that he was TRYING too hard to be Clay Aiken. Think about that for a minute. Are you as frightned as I am? The judges were, too.

DeANNA, who corrected Simon more than once about how her name was pronounced, was a 27 year old waitress from the same small town in North Carolina as Kellie Pickler. But while Kellie was a charming, naive, country girl; DeANNA was a bitter, shouting lunatic. The best part was her talking about how her customers drove her crazy on Sundays for “all you can eat day.”

Crystal and Randy met online at the “American Idol” message boards Continue reading »