Author: Mike Farley (Page 102 of 117)

When I say worlds collide, I’m talking about the legendary Tony Bennett meeting up with the way-full-of-himself Sanjaya. I’m also talking about the “universe” of Sanjaya colliding with Simon Cowell’s universe, but more on that later.

With Bennett coaching the remaining nine contestants on “American Idol” last night, the song choices were all standards–a difficult genre on paper, but most of them came to play. Here is how it went down:

THE REALLY GOOD

I’m not sure if I’ve said this yet, and I know I’ve been pimping Melinda Doolittle from the outset. But last night she proved that she may be the best contestant this show has ever seen. Seriously, have you ever seen anyone bring it week after week like Melinda? She is everyone else’s best week, every week.
And the judges agree as Melinda’s “I Got Rhythm” drew rave reviews as usual. Randy said she gives everyone else a “lesson,” Paula said that lesson is a “master class,” and Simon said the first half was cabaret, but that the second half was great, and that he finds it really hard to criticize anything Melinda does. Well Simon, you need to stop trying.

THE GOOD

Jordin Sparks sang “On a Clear Day” and she was damn near good enough to be put in Melinda’s class, but not quite. This girl gets better every week and is going to be an American sweetheart before this is said and done. Randy said Jordin brought some “heat” and was “the bomb,” Paula said she will sail through to the next round, and Simon said that while Jordin sang well, she didn’t make the song “current” the same way Chris Richardson did just before her. Whatever, Simon. Stop looking for flaws in this girl, too.

Blake Lewis kicked off the night with “Mac the Knife,” and came out in a suit….a long way from the beatboxing kid we’ve come to know. Anyway, he was pretty damn good, and he’s definitely got what it takes to stay on for a few more weeks. Randy said it was the perfect song choice though pitchy at times, Paula said Blake has pizazz and is “cool,” (read: Paula wants to jump this kid), and Simon said it was a good song choice but only a 7 out of 10.

Chris Richardson sang “Mr. Saturday Dance,” but as mentioned earlier did a very hip version of the song, which earned him style points with the judges. Randy said it was Chris’ best performance, Paula said the fact that Chris made the song current showed artistic integrity, and Simon also said it was Chris’ best performance and one of the strongest of the night.

Lakisha Jones closed the night with “Stormy Weather” and she was awesome. Randy said it was the perfect song choice, Paula said she looked gorgeous, and Simon said Lakisha was “back on form” and that she was sassy and great. I completely agree. The only thing is, she did this “Ain’t No Sunshine When He’s Gone” thing at the end of the song, something Tony Bennett advised her against. Bennett wanted her to just hold out the big note, but still it didn’t hurt anyone.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Gina Glocksen sang “Smile” and while she was pretty good doing something that should have been way out of her comfort zone, I just couldn’t get past this fact: Here is a rocker chick with a tongue ring singing a classic ballad on a stool. It just didn’t look right and was extremely distracting. Not to mention just a tad boring. Randy said it was nice and in control, Paula said it was flawless (that is the booze talking), and Simon said he couldn’t rave about Gina when he saw Melinda and Jordin sing before her. Amen to that.

Haley sang “Ain’t Misbehavin'” and her legs were not only in full view again, but her dress was loose enough to let her boobs hang out just a little. Haley is no dummy, that’s for sure. And it actually was one of her better performances, maybe enough to earn her another week. Randy said he would defer to Paula, who deferred to Simon. That was pretty funny. Simon answered with “Haley, you’ve got great legs.” Simon, have you been reading my blog? He then added that it was good style but a bit like a pageant performance. Whatever, I think Haley is safe.

THE BAD

Phil Stacey sang “Night and Day” and while he wasn’t really bad, he was really bad compared to everyone else. And he has so much trouble staying on pitch in lower registers. Randy said the song was a good choice but that there was no passion, Paula said Phil was like a young Frank Sinatra but that he needed to show more joy, and Simon said to Paula, “Which Sinatra?” He then added that Phil’s performance had all the joy of a funeral, and that it was oddly gloomy and dark. Folks, this guy is going home tonight.

Sanjaya was actually not as bad as usual, and came out with a semi-normal hairstyle. He sang “Cheek To Cheek” and was annoying but had one of his better vocals, for him. Randy said that Sanjaya is turning into quite an entertainer, Paula said she’s starting to get why America keeps voting for him because he’s charming, and Simon said “Let’s try a different tactic this week: INCREDIBLE” and it was clearly sarcastic. But Sanjaya didn’t see the sarcasm and replied “Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya!” Um, kid, threre is no room in the universe for anyone else’s ego now, because yours is off the charts. You should have gone home weeks ago, but instead America is forcing us to endure this stupid charade. And I’m going to be pissed if you knock out someone like Jordin or Lakisha along your stupid journey.

Okay, so there you have it. My bottom three: Phil, Gina, and Sanjaya. Or possibly Haley. Should be going home, definitely Sanjaya. Will be going home, definitely Phil Stacey. We’ll find out tonight, and see you tomorrow with the results….

Well, I can’t say I didn’t warn you. Yes, we’re going to have another week of Sanjaya on “American Idol.” And I’m fearful that we may have 7 or 8 more weeks of this idiot. No, seriously, I’m really afraid of that. Aren’t you?

The show started with Ryan Seacrest wearing a Sanjaya faux-hawk wig, and he predictably looked ridiculous. Then after the recap of the previous night, it was right to business. Blake and Lakisha were safe, and Phil was sent to the bottom 3. This surprised me because Phil kicked ass on Tuesday, but that’s America for you. Melinda, Chris Richardson and Sanjaya were then declared safe, while Haley was sent to the bottom 3 (deservedly). Jordin was safe, which meant the last member of the basement would be either Gina or Chris Sligh.

I knew what was coming, but first a performance by Gwen Stefani and hip-hop artist Akon, who she will be touring with. Did anyone notice that all Akon did was hoot and holler a couple of times, prance around the stage with his Fruit of the Looms in full view, and just kind of get in the way? But hey, it was a nice performance by Gwen, who is always entertaining.

Back to business. Phil Stacey was sent back to the pack, leaving Haley and Sligh. The judges were asked who they thought would go home, and while Randy and Paula typically backpedaled, Simon was blunt and said “I think it’s bye bye Curly.” Naturally, he, and I, were right. Whew. I was starting to think I didn’t understand the American voters. But I do know that one lousy performance at this stage is poison, and it was for Chris. For Haley, her day is coming soon, legs or not. And for Sanjaya, well, I’m going to use a Simon phrase again: “If people like you, good luck.”

So we’re down to 9….I’m nervously envisioning a finale of Melinda and Sanjaya. People, we have to start banding together on this, because too many wiseguys and crying teenagers are keeping Sanjaya going. He’s not just on life support, he is thriving.

We still have a long way to go, so hang on….Farley, OUT

Really now, was there anything more memorable from last night’s “American Idol” episode than Sanjaya’s hair and Haley’s legs? Like the Mrs. says, Haley knows what she’s doing. As far as Sanjaya, like Randy Jackson says, I just don’t know what to say. But I think maybe dude is trying really hard to get himself voted off the show.

This week the coach/theme person was Gwen Stefani, but the producers really cheated with the theme, because it was the songs of Gwen’s band, No Doubt, as well as all of her influences. That ranged from Donna Summer to The Police to The Cure to Cyndi Lauper and more. Anyway, I’ll tell you what was refreshing…the fact that Gwen didn’t pull any punches. She said things that were very telling…like, “If Chris doesn’t watch his tempo, he’s going to be in trouble.” And then that exact thing happened. But more on that later.

So here we go with the recap….

THE REALLY GOOD

Melinda Doolittle was Melinda Doolittle again and continues to Dooalot. Melinda sang Donna Summer’s version of “Heaven Knows,” and was predictably amazing. I decided during this performance that Melinda is someone I would pay to see perform and I’m litterally getting goose bumps thinking about it. Randy said Melinda knows how to interpret the songs she chooses, Paula said she has charisma from the word “go,” and Simon said it was an outstanding vocal but he hated her outfit. Really now, we don’t care what anyone but Haley is wearing.

THE GOOD

Lakisha Jones also chose a Donna Summer song, performing “Last Dance,” and while it was really good, it wasn’t typical Lakisha, and it sure as hell wasn’t in Melinda’s league. Randy called Lakisha the “Fly Diva,” Paula said it was good that Lakisha took a chance, and Simon said he loved the big notes and that it was a great vocal.

I can’t believe Phil Stacey is in this category, but dude really brought his A-game last night. Singing The Police’ “Every Breath You Take,” Phil not only chose the perfect song, but he knocked it out of the park. Randy said it was really solid, Paula said it was a good song choice but that Phil played it safe in the verses, and Simon said it was very good, surprising everyone in the room and in the audience.

Jordin Sparks took a huge gamble with No Doubt’s “Hey Baby,” and while there were moments of tempo and pitch problems, they were merely moments. Most of it just kicked ass. Randy said it was risky but great, Paula said Jordin is adorable, and Simon said that Jordin is the most improved in the bunch.

Gina Glockson did her best performance that I’ve seen last night, with The Pretenders’ “Stand By You.” At first it looked awkward with Gina’s rocker image and her choosing more of a ballad, but it really worked. Still, Gina annoys the crap out of me. Randy said it was one her best performances, Paula said Gina keeps improving, and Simon said it was “not one of her best, but THE best.”
Dammit, I guess we have to see more of Gina.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Chris Richardson took on No Doubt’s “Dont Speak,” and while it was pitchy in spots it was also really good in spots. I’m afraid for Chris because he was in the bottom 2 last week, but I think he’ll hang around one more time. Randy said he liked the flavor of the song, Paula said it was good, and Simon said it was a good choice but he wasn’t crazy about the vocal.

Blake Lewis sang The Cure’s “Love Song,” and I think it’s even a stretch to put him in this grouping because he kind of lulled me to sleep. But even though it was boring, Blake was pretty much on pitch.
Randy said it was not a great choice but was a good performance, Paula said she loved it and even hinted that we could see Blake in the finale (okay, Paula is officially retarded if she thinks Blake is better than Lakisha), and Simon said Blake has to be careful about being self-indulgent with his song choices.

THE BAD

I’ve been pimping Chris Sligh all along, but he was so bad last night that he could have punched his ticket home. Chris sang The Police’ “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic,” and like Gwen Stefani predicted was all over the place. Randy said it was not good and off tempo, Paula agreed, and Simon said it was a mess.

Haley sang Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors,” and while it was very much a karaoke performance, Haley really has amazing legs and they were out there for everyone to see, again. Randy said it was just “aight,” Paula said it wasn’t the best song choice, and Simon said it was “sweet but forgettable.” At least the judges weren’t blinded by the outfit.

(side note: Did anyone see Carrie Underwood on SNL? Her skirts keep getting shorter and shorter as well, and those legs of hers look like stilts…will somebody just put her in some tight jeans or something?)

THE REALLY BAD

Sanjaya came out with this “faux-hawk” hair style and it truly was remarkable. He attempted to sing No Doubt’s “Bathwater” and it was quite ridiculous. I mean, I’m not sure that Sanjaya can take his suck train any further. Randy said the hair was interesting (and nothing about the vocal), Paula said Sanjaya can sing but didn’t put his voice out there, and Simon said that Sanjaya is in his own universe, and that “If people like you, good luck.” In other words, pity the idiots that keep voting for this no-talent.

So my bottom 3? Chris Sligh, Sanjaya and Haley. And I really think Sligh is going home, if only because he was so bad, and because America wants to see what Sanjaya does with his hair next week.

Side note 2: You all didn’t see the commercials I did, but Belmont University here in Nashville bought air time and pimped the fact that hometown girl Melinda Doolittle is a ’99 graduate, and how they teach excellence, blah blah blah. It was incredibly self-serving and really distasteful. Yeah, the fact that Melinda went to Belmont makes me wanna go there too! How about the fact that Melinda was born with that talent and nurtured it as a backup singer for years, and it had nothing to do with her education?

See you all tomorrow for the results….

Well America, you did it. You kept Sanjaya on “American Idol” long enough to have to endure him on tour this summer. I hope you’re happy, because last night you sent a really talented singer home.

But before we get to the results, let’s talk about Peter Noone and LuLu. Noone sang his Herman’s Hermits hit, “There’s a Kind of Hush,” and it was predictably like a lounge act, though dude looks pretty good for his age. Later on LuLu sang “To Sir With Love,” and I can’t ever recall seeing a 60-ish woman looking that hot. Not only that, she can still belt it out. I mean, she’s going to be more popular now than she’s ever been because of last night.

So on to the results, and after another Fox teaser where they shamelessly plugged one of their other shows, Brad Garrett of “Til Death” sat with the contestants and was the honorary first one voted off. That was kind of stupid.

Then in 3’s, Ryan Seacrest had the contestants stand up and let them know they were safe: Phil, Melinda and Blake (And Phil hooted like he was Taylor Hicks, because he knew he was in danger); then Chris Sligh, Lakisha and Blake; and finally Sanjaya, Haley and Gina (are you kidding me?). So then there was no suspense because the bottom 2 was Stephanie and Chris Richardson. Neither one should have been there, but I had a feeling Stephanie was toast and she was. But Chris Richardson? That dude had one of his best performances the other night and he almost went home.

So there you have it, America. I hope you’re happy that a few more talented singers got sent home before Sanjaya. But really, how much longer can Gina, Phil, Haley and Sanjaya hang on? There is clearly another level above them. I guess you could ask that crying chick, who is suddenly more famous than anyone left singing.

Well, here are my power rankings, and we’ll see you all next week:

1. Melinda
2. Jordin
3. Lakisha
4. Blake
5. Chris S.
6. Chris R.
7. Haley and her legs
8. Phil
9. Gina
10. Sanjaya
11. The Cast of “Bones” (you’re welcome, Fox)

Last night’s “American Idol” featured most of the eleven contestants elevating their game in a big way.
It was 60’s British Invasion week, where the guys were coached by former Herman’s Hermit Peter Noone, and the girls were helped out by former British pop diva LuLu. Both of them have got to be sixty-ish yet were remarkably spunky and helpful with their coaching.

What was really great about yesterday’s show was the fact that everyone realized this is a competition and that, genders aside, it was time to bring the “A” game or face swift elimination. Almost everyone brought that game, and in fact, the ones that didn’t were only B-pluses. Fear will do that, I guess.

Okay, here we go…..

THE REALLY GOOD

Melinda Doolittle is already a star. I don’t think she has it in her to even remotely suck. She is professional, and performs every song with a conviction that none of the other ten contestants have. Melinda sang “As Long As He Needs Me,” and I’m more convinced every week that it’s her competition to lose. Randy said it was the best vocal of the night, Paula said Melinda never sounds forced, and Simon said Melinda made a boring song sensational with an impeccable vocal.

THE GOOD

Too bad for all of these folks that Melinda is in Season 6, but they do have a shot as well….

Chris Richardson scaled things back, and instead of dancing and doing vocal acrobatics he just focused on singing. Good move. His acoustic version of “Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying” was really, really good. He never wavered offf pitch and the judges knew it. Randy said it was a different side of Chris and a great performance, Paula said it was sexy and charming, and Simon said it was Chris’ best performance yet. I would keep an eye on this kid, he’s starting to peak.

Blake Lewis did a really original version of the Zombies’ “Time of the Season,” with a limited amount of beatboxing. Like Chris, Blake focused on his vocals and really did a nice job. It was original without being over the top. Randy said Blake had a “massive YO factor,” Paula said Blake picked a good song, and Simon said Blake was “a million times better than last week.” I would keep a close eye on him as well.

Jordin Sparks is also starting to peak, and her version of “I Who Have Nothing” was just short of spectacular, meaning it was just short of Melinda. When you think that Jordin is only 17, it’s downright ridiculous that she is this good. And I think she may just rise up and take this all the way to the final 2 or 3. Randy said it was one of the best performances last night, Paula said Jordin has great range, and Simon said she sang a gloomy song beautifully.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Haley Scarnato kicked things off last night and her legs and outfit that was held on with thumb tacks really did a nice job. I mean, did anyone notice that Haley was singing? She did and actually was better than usual, with her version of “Tell Him.” I think she tried hard but was still mediocre, and honestly she’s not going anywhere when she dresses like that. Randy said it was the perfect song choice, Paula said it was “girlish” and Simon called Haley a “naughty thing.” He added that it was fun but shrieky in spots. Again, the legs and the small amount of fabric help her a ton.

Stephanie Edwards sang “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” (what was with all those long titles in the sixties?) and it wasn’t nearly her best. I have a bad feeling that Stephanie is separating herself from the pack in the opposite direction, because she was so promising early on. Randy said it wasn’t her best performance, Paula said it was the right song but pitchy, and Simon said Stephanie is losing her edge.

Lakisha Jones sang “Diamonds Are Forever” and they had to keep harping on the fact that she was wearing a million dollars worth of diamonds. Um, that is like a nickel to “American Idol,” so we really don’t care. Lakisha was not at her best last night and showed that she is not in the same league as Melinda anymore. Randy said it wasn’t his favorite Lakisha performance, and Simon said it was like seeing “Lakisha in 50 years.” Odd comment, but strangely accurate.

Phil Stacey sang “Tobacco Road” and it was not bad but kind of all over the place, like he was rocking but shouting too much. Randy said it was “pretty good but pitchy,” Paula said it was a good choice but pitchy, and Simon said it was nothing more than a bar band performance. Phil could also be in danger of hitting the road this week.

Chris Sligh also sang a Zombies song with “She’s Not There,” and though it wasn’t bad, it still wasn’t vintage Chris. This guy is not going anywhere, but he can certainly do better. At least he didn’t play with the arrangement too much this week to make the song sound modern. Randy said that he felt like all of the night’s performances were great including this one, Paula said the vocals were good, and Simon said Chris didn’t have the best vocal but that he was way better than last week. Then Chris did something really disturbing with Ryan….he pulled a Taylor Hicks and did a shout out to the “Fro Patrol.” Be very afraid, little kittens.

THE BAD

Sanjaya took on the Kinks’ “You Really Got Me,” a surprising choice for the usually subdued kid, but he actually came out of his shell and wasn’t nearly as bad as usual. Still, when looking back at clips of each singer it’s still clear that Sanjaya does not belong here anymore. Randy said the performance “shocked” him, Paula said that this was the Sanjaya she was waiting for, and Simon made reference to a little girl crying in the audience and that the girl’s reaction mirrored his own. Read: Simon still thinks Sanjaya sucks, and I agree with him. But the girl was crying because she was overwhelmed, and that makes me realize that he isn’t going anywhere, at least not this week. The kids and Vote For the Worst will still support this non-talent.

Gina Glockson did her rocker chick thing once again with the Stones’ “Paint It Black” and it really looked like a karaoke performance. Gina has a niche in this, but really doesn’t belong among the top talent. Randy said it was pitchy and “just aight,” Paula said Gina was better than last week, and Simon said there were “moments of complete torture” and that it was “style over content.” Amen to that, Cowell. Gina is in serious danger.

So my bottom 3…..Phil, Stephanie and Gina, and I’m picking Gina to go home thanks to Simon’s comments.

Oh, and since the show is still two hours long but with less and less contestants every week, the producers fill it up with the after-performance-interview-and-contestant-backlash thing, which is really getting old. Do I care what Gina thinks about Simon’s comments? Hell no….take your medicine like an adult and get on with your attempts to sing.

So tonight we’ve got the results, and I hope Stephanie can hang on another week, because she really is better than she showed last night. I’ve had enough of Gina and Sanjaya. How about you?