Author: Mike Farley (Page 101 of 117)

Christmas came early last night, as Sanjaya finally got booted off of “American Idol.” I have to admit, I didn’t see it coming and that made it even sweeter. Dude obviously sucked even more than usual on Tuesday night, and he couldn’t overcome the fact that everyone else in this competition is light years better than he is, stupid hair and stupid mustache or not.

But just like last week, we were tortured with a one-hour results show. The group song was first, “I’m Alright,” and for some reason it was more bearable than usual. Then the first guest artist (is this becoming a trend with multiple guests?) was Fergie, who, if you can get past all the weird performance techniques, is really quite a good singer.

Then Ryan Seacrest launched into more about next week’s “Idol Gives Back” episode, promising more stars than originally announced. Here is what scares me: the show will probably be a 3-hour marathon.

Finally, the contestants were broken up into three groups: Sanjaya, Lakisha and Blake; Phil, Jordin and Chris; and Melinda. Ryan told Melinda she was safe, and then promptly asked her to join the group she thought rounded out the top 4. Melinda did the politically correct thing (did you expect anything else?) and just sat in the middle of the stage. Ryan then told her to move toward the Phil/Jordin/Chris group and we had our bottom 3 of Sanjaya, Lakisha and Blake. I knew Lakisha would be there but I was surprised with the other two–I expected Sanjaya would keep his charade going longer, and while I thought Blake underachieved Tuesday night, the judges disagreed with me. But there he was.

After a shameless promotion for “Shrek 3,” Martina McBride performed and was as awesome as she always is. There is no flash, no performance technique, no fluff with Martina….she just sings her ass off every time. Then her daughter jumped up on stage and had some banter with Seacrest and the contestants, and let’s just say the girl has a future in comedy.

The first to be sent back to safety was Blake, and it was down to Sanjaya and Lakisha. I really thought Lakisha was going home, but when Ryan said the words, “Sanjaya, you are going home tonight,” I had that same feeling I got when the ball rolled through Bill Buckner’s legs, or when Scott Norwood’s field goal attempt went wide right. Yeah, I’m still a New York homer, but I digress…..Sanjaya is finally off this show, and now we have a real competition.

But folks, I’m here to tell you that this will be a two person race of Melinda and Jordin…..the next four eliminations can go any way they will, because it will still come down to those two. Or, maybe someone will totally surprise us the next few weeks. That’s why they play the games, and that’s why having Sanjaya off this show is like fog lifting from the airport.

Rock on, America, and see you next week…..

Last night “American Idol” went country. And being that there are no Carrie Underwoods, Bucky Covingtons or Kellie Picklers among the remaining seven contestants, it was, for the most part, a big train wreck. Martina McBride was the coach this week, and she was a good choice because she may be the best female singer in her genre. So without further adieu, here is last night’s recap:

THE GOOD

Jordin Sparks sang “Broken Wing” and as she was singing, I turned to my wife and said, “Jordin could win this thing.” She just gets better every week, and it’s almost like she still hasn’t shown us what she’s really capable of. Randy said it was “the bomb,” Paula said it was fantastic, and Simon said it was the first time that he believed Jordin could win the whole thing.

Melinda Doolittle was awesome as usual, but she’s got to be looking in her rear view mirror at Jordin now. Melinda sang “Trouble Is A Woman” and as always it was completely believable. Randy said it was another solid performance, Paula said it was the right song choice, and Simon said it was a fantastic, Tina Turner-esque performance but that Melinda should lose the whole, “I’m surprised you like me so much” thing. Amen to that.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Phil Stacey sang Keith Urban’s “Where the Blacktop Ends” and it was pretty forgettable. The judges, however, disagreed with me. Randy said Phil could have a career in country music, Paula said it was good from the beginning, and Simon said he finally saw some personality in Phil’s performance.

Chris Richardson sang “Mayberry” and he was also pretty boring. Randy said Chris showed no emotion, Paula said the joy and love didn’t come through, and Simon said he heard a “non-descript, nasally, tinny vocal” that was “insignificant.” Wow. I didn’t think it was that bad, but the judges’ comments may push Chris out the door this week.

Blake had the pimp spot and sang Tim McGraw’s “When the Stars Go Blue,” but he was pitchy and didn’t really do the song justice. I think I would have liked Phil to do this one instead. Anyway, Randy said Blake picked the right song, Paula said he is the whole package, and Simon said he wasn’t jumping out of his chair. I have to agree with Simon, it was just okay.

THE BAD

Lakisha Jones sang Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take The Wheel,” and I really thought she was going to take a big swing and hit the ball out of the park, showing up former Idol champ Underwood in the process. But all I felt was the wind from Lakisha whiffing at the pitch. The verse was fine but when she launched into the chorus it was painful to watch. Randy said there were pitch problems and that he expected more, Paula agreed with Randy, and Simon said it was disjointed, like “eating a hamburger for breakfast.” Personally I don’t have a problem with a hamburger for breakfast, but I see his point. Lakisha has been awesome but she may be leaving this week.

Sanjaya reverted back to his sucky self, singing Bonnie Raitt’s “Something To Talk About.” He wore a bandana on his head and was just ridiculous in every way. But lucky for him, and I do mean LUCKY, this kid has the support of Vote for the Worst, Howard Stern, and the rest of America who are trying to turn the show into a joke. Randy said it was like karaoke and added, “What are we doing here?” EXACTLY. Paula said Sanjaya loves adversity (what?) and Simon said it was utterly horrendous. When Ryan Seacrest rushed to Sanjaya’s defense, Simon rightly said, “Shut up, Ryan.” Cowell added that it was worse than anything we saw, even in the initial auditions.

So your bottom three this week…….Phil, Chris and Lakisha. America still loves Blake, and as you all know, strangely loves Sanjaya. Since he’s been in trouble before, I’m going with Chris this week, but wouldn’t be surprised if it was Lakisha either. This thing is shaping up to be a final four of Melinda, Jordin, Blake and Sanjaya. Are you scared yet, America?

See y’all tomorrow with the results…..after another excuciating hour long show.

I’m not referring to the show losing viewers or voters, but last night “American Idol” lost the sexy legs of Haley Scarnato. Before we get to the results, I’m going to bore you with an hour of crap the way Fox did….

First, there was a horrid Latin group performance of an Enrique Iglesias song that I won’t even attempt to spell. Sanjaya even screwed up the words which was pretty awesome.

Then, Ryan Seacrest interviewed a bunch of the shows’ fans outside a farmer’s market. Wow, they are really stretching, aren’t they?

Then there was a performance from Akon, who must have heard everyone wondering aloud why he was on the same stage as Gwen Stefani a few weeks ago. Turns out dude CAN sing. He wasn’t too bad, and it was fun to watch his DJ guy with the Sanjaya hair style.

Then they showed footage of Simon Cowell in Africa again, and in one of the funniest moments the show has ever seen, some African kid drew a picture of Simon with man boobs. Now, THAT is good television.

Then they did some spoof with Tony Bennett where the judges treated the old man like a real contestant. That was pretty dumb and self-indulgent for the AI producers.

Finally, each contestant was asked to stand as Ryan announced who was in the bottom 3. Phil Stacey was the first into the lower tier, then Lakisha, Jordin and Melinda were all declared safe. Haley was also sent to the bottom 3, leaving Blake, Sanjaya and Chris. Blake and Sanjaya were safe, leaving Chris to enter the bottom 3 and America to wonder just how long it has to endure Sanjaya. Top 4? Top 3? Top 2? Gasp.

Then Jennifer Lopez sang some song in Spanish that I have never heard, but she looked and sounded awesome as usual. But before that, Chris Richardson was sent back to the pack, leaving Phil and Haley. No surprises so far, right?

Finally, it came down to the verdict, and it was Phil that was safe. Dude seemed as surprised as anyone in the theater. So it was Haley and her legs, which were hidden tonight but covered in painted-on pants. But it was her time to go home, and America definitely got it right. Next week it will likely be Phil, and then it’s going to get real interesting.

Till next week…..

Tonight’s “American Idol” Elite 8 show featured Jennifer Lopez and the contestants all singing Latino songs. Not surprisingly, most of this very un-Latin bunch chose songs by pop artists Gloria Estefan and Carlos Santana. Also not surprisingly, the level of performances was not very good. It was almost like the best performance was a 7 out of 10 and everything else filtered down from there. Here we go with the recap:

THE GOOD

Did you notice there was no “VERY GOOD” category this week? That’s because there were no very good performances, not even from the always flawless Melinda Doolittle. Tonight Melinda came crashing down to earth, but still she was far from horrible. She sang “Sway” and Randy said it wasn’t her best but was solid. Paula said Melinda was sultry and subtle, and Simon said he didn’t like it and that it lacked personality. He added that he had been waiting to offer some criticism to Melinda for weeks and he didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

Chris Richardson sang the Santana hit “Smooth” which was originally sang by another white pop singer, Rob Thomas. Chris actually did well with this, but if you think about it, it really was a good song choice for him. Randy said it was very cool, Paula said it was a “hot” performance and that Chris was sexy (uh-oh, Paula’s got the googly eyes again), and Simon said it was the best vocal of the night to that point (Chris went third). Let’s also give props to that guitar player from the band. I mean, holy crap….what mad skills.

Jordin Sparks sang “The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” and while there were some karaoke moments, it was really pretty good overall. Randy said the performance was great and had the “yo” factor, Paula said it was authentic and that Jordin looked adorable, and Simon said it was just “okay” and that the performances were not getting better as the evening progressed.

Blake Lewis sang Marc Anthony’s “I Need To Know,” and I’m not sure if he did it to impress Anthony’s wife or not. But it was definitely a good song choice for Blake. What wasn’t a good choice was that hat he came out wearing. Blake could easily have been performing at a South Florida retirement community wearing that hat (Del Boca Vista?). Anyway, he sang really well and he’s in no danger of being eliminated. Randy said it was the best song choice of the night, Paula said Blake captured the essence of the song, and Simon said it was the best song choice AND best performance of the night.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Lakisha Jones sang “Conga” and it was pretty much disjointed from the start. There were too many syllables and too much movement in the song for Lakisha to keep up with it. Still, it wasn’t awful. Randy said she was having fun and that it was “hot,” Paula disagreed and thought it was a safe performance, and Simon agreed with Paula. He added that Lakisha appeared to have fun but he’s not sure the rest of America had fun watching it. Well said, Cowell.

Phil Stacey sang another Santana song, “Maria Maria.” I thought it was decent but there were a few moments when Phil’s voice cracked and that might spell doom for him. Randy said it wasn’t Phil’s best and he didn’t connect with the song, Paula said she thought it was a real good vocal, and Simon said Phil is a nice guy who chose a good song but it lacked originality.

Sanjaya is not even in the bottom group tonight, because he really had one of his better performances. I mean, dude is the only contestant who could pass for a Latino and he chose a good song, “Besame Mucho,” as well. Randy said it was really good, Paula said Sanjaya was on pitch and smooth, and Simon, though he admitted he couldn’t understand a word and that Sanjaya sang like a 14-year-old, said that the performance “wasn’t horrible.” We already knew we’d see more of Sanjaya and I think he just guaranteed himself another week.

THE BAD

Haley has been hanging by a thread for weeks, and she didn’t help her cause tonight. Well, with her outfit, she did try. Once again those legs were putting on a show of their own, and once again Haley’s voice didn’t match them. She sang “Turn The Beat Around” and it was all-around pretty freaking weird.
Randy said it was “really karaoke,” Paula said Haley looked like she had fun, and Simon said that Haley keeps wearing little clothing every week to hide her vocal skills, which aren’t as good as the other remaining women. Yeah, what he said. I mean, if Haley doesn’t go home this week I’ll be extremely surprised.

So your bottom 3 America……Haley, Phil and Lakisha. Sanjaya will once again rise above to safety. And if it’s not Haley, it will definitely be Phil. But either way both of them are next to go.

Tomorrow we have an hour long show, and it’ll be worth watching just to see how they fill up that much time for a results show. Me? I’ll be drinking beer at a hockey game. That’s what TiVo is for.
Until then, Adios Amigos. Oh, and Dirty Sanchez too.

Last night’s “American Idol” results show had a few surprises and a few not-so-surprises. There wasn’t a ton of fluff…thankfully no group performance other than the stupid Ford commercial that gets more ridiculous every week.

Then before the special guest performance, Ryan Seacrest divided the remaining 9 contestants into three groups–the top 3, middle 3, and bottom 3. The first group was Blake, Chris and Sanjaya and we all knew this was the middle 3. But Seacrest went on to the other groups first. The next one was Haley, Gina and Phil, and there had to be no doubt in anyone’s mind what group this was. Finally, he went to the power trio of Jordina, Melinda and Lakisha and declared them safe and the top 3. Well, duh. Then Blake, Chris and Sanjaya were also sent back to safety, and unfortunately that means Sanjaya was no lower than sixth in overall voting. People, you are scaring me with this kid!

Then, instead of Tony Bennett performing (he had the flu), we were treated to Michael Buble….I’ve never seen or heard this guy but he is really a great singer. I could have done without the Antonella Barba comments and banter with Seacrest, but sometimes the producers of AI are looking for any angle whatsoever.

After the break, Phil was sent back to safety, and I have to say that my wife’s five votes may have saved him. Though I still wasn’t offended by the bottom 2 America chose (other than the fact that Sanjaya SHOULD ALWAYS BE THERE).

So it was down to Haley’s legs (and they were once again in full view) and Gina and her tongue ring. Gina was tearfully sent on her way and for a moment, all was right with the world. It was definitely time. Haley and Phil will be going next, no question about it…and hopefully Sanjaya will soon follow because this charade has reached epic proportions.

The Elite 8 looks like this:

Melinda, Lakisha, Jordin, Blake, Chris, Sanjaya, Haley, Phil.

And if Melinda isn’t your choice to win it all, you should really have your ears checked. See you next week….