Author: John Paulsen (Page 79 of 79)

This episode was mainly about the return of Lucius and Titus to Rome, accompanying Mark Antony in his quest to become Tribune. Lucius hasn’t seen his wife in more than seven years and Titus wondered aloud, “what if she got skinny?” Lucius sees his wife, Niobe, for the first time in the courtyard holding a baby and immediately calls her a whore in front of several of her friends – not the best way to say “hello.” The moment ruined, Niobe informs him that the baby is actually his daughter’s daughter and Lucius spends a few days in the doghouse – figuratively, of course.

The politicking continues in the Senate, where Antony is elected Tribune and Pompey loyalists plot against Caesar. Pompey wants Caesar banished, but Antony doesn’t go for that. Pandemonium erupts in the Senate and Antony’s veto of a motion to banish Caesar goes unheard. Apparently, Pompey wants Antony to veto the motion so that Caesar has to openly oppose Pompey, causing the Republic to erupt in a civil war.

Meanwhile, Lucius and Titus get their freak on – the former with his wife and the latter with a prostitute. The whore did a better job of acting like she was enjoying herself, but the pounding in both sessions reminded me of the now classic 50 Cent lyric “I’m into having sex / I ain’t into making love.” His load presumably shot, Titus unwisely decides to play dice with a bunch of Pompey loyalists. Of course, the big brute is cheated out of his money and solves the problem the only way he knows how – by stabbing the cheater in the neck. A brawl ensues and Titus is dinged pretty hard on the head. He stumbles to Lucius’ crib and, after some impromptu brain surgery, Niobe nurses him back to health.

A few days later, Lucius and Titus (along with fifty Caesar loyalists) are called to escort Antony to the Senate so he can exercise his veto. Pompey wants everyone to think that he’d like to stop Antony, so he places a thousand men in the courtyard, but instructs them not stand in Antony’s way. Only Titus recognizes one of the Pompey loyalists – the cheater’s friend at the bar! Seeking revenge, the guy rushes our hero but Titus drops him with one blow. Mayhem in the courtyard ensues, and Antony never gets to exercise his veto.

The Caesar loyalists flee the city and return to their leader. Caesar decides that he will soon march on Rome. Back at the homestead, it turns out that Lucius’ wife very well might be a whore as she brings the baby to her breast to nurse. In her defense, she did think her husband was dead. So maybe “whore” is too strong of a word.

HBO’s newest hour-long drama, “Rome,” takes place during the last few years of Julius Caesar’s reign. Like the network’s other series – “The Sopranos,” “Deadwood” and “The Wire” – “Rome” features a healthy shooting budget and good production values. Co-produced by HBO and the BBC (who previously co-produced the excellent “Band of Brothers” mini-series), “Rome” looks and feels more like a film than a television show, and the premiere jumps right into the conflict brewing between Caesar and his long time friend and cohort, Pompey. It’s a story as old as the ages – both men want power and Rome just isn’t big enough for the two of them.

Like all Hollywood period pieces, “Rome” features characters in a foreign land speaking English, but with enough of a British accent so it sounds exotic. I’ve always scratched my head at this reasoning, as it’s just as likely that the Romans spoke with a New Jersey accent as an English one, but the practice is as old as Shakespeare so you just have to deal with it. However, whether you love or hate “Passion of the Christ,” you’ve got to give it up to Mel Gibson for shooting the entire thing in ancient Aramaic. Anyway, on to the good stuff – full frontal nudity from Atia (Caesar’s niece, played by Polly Walker) and her daughter Octavia (Kerry Condon). Atia is sort of the Julie Cooper of ancient Rome – fans of “The OC” will notice the resemblance immediately. She sleeps with a horse salesman so she can give one of his stallions as a gift to her uncle, she makes Octavia divorce her husband and give it up to the recently-widowed and much-wrinkled Pompey, and she takes a ritual pagan shower in bull’s blood. And that’s just the first episode.

“Deadwood” and “The Sopranos” feature a lot of (sick) humor and, based on the premiere, “Rome” appears to be somewhat lacking in this area. Aside from Atia’s various scheming, the best chance for comic relief is the gruff ne’er-do-well gladiator, Titus, who gets roped into retrieving Caesar’s insignia when it is stolen by “blue Spaniards.” At the same time, Titus also manages to rescue Caesar’s great-nephew, Octavian, who was kidnapped by the same blue Spaniards on his trip to deliver the aforementioned horse to Caesar. It’s only the first episode, but with all the fighting, scheming and politicking, along with the Romans’ well-known liberal attitudes toward sex, the network definitely has the ingredients for yet another compelling series.