Author: John Paulsen (Page 73 of 79)

You should have signed, Jess.

December 17, 2005 /

For some reason, I find the following information surrounding the Jessica Simpson / Nick Lachey split quite funny:

Published reports have suggested that Simpson’s refusal to sign a prenuptial agreement at the time of her marriage to Lachey could come back to haunt her. At the time the couple tied the knot, Lachey was the wealthier half of the couple, as a member of the successful boy band 98 Degrees. According to TMZ.com, Lachey went so far as to get a prenup drawn up, but couldn’t get Simpson to sign.

Because the couple had no prenup, earnings amassed during the marriage are split down the middle under California law–a detail that would work nicely in Lachey’s favor, considering his singer-actress wife earned $35 million in 2004 alone.

So she wouldn’t sign the prenup. Then her career explodes while his fizzles and she stands to lose 17.5M just from her 2004 earnings. Apparently, even going through a divorce, Nick Lachey is still the luckiest guy in the world.

Actresses, Gossip, News

Where are all my shows?

December 14, 2005 /

I can sort of understand not running new episodes Thanksgiving weekend (though I thought CSI’s disgusting new episode on Thanksgiving night was a stroke of brilliance) but why aren’t we getting new episodes of our favorite shows the first three weeks of December? Sure, we’re getting new episodes here and there – thanks to “The West Wing” and “Arrested Development” – but many shows are on hiatus. Is there some study somewhere that says that people don’t watch television in early December? I sure as hell do.

TV

Have they started selling tickets yet?

December 8, 2005 /

Wilmer Valderrama is going to play Ponch in a big-screen version of “CHiPs.”

This is great news for two reasons: 1) the public is clamoring for another big-screen remake of a bad ’70s TV show and 2) Wilmer Valderrama is getting work.

The truth is, there just aren’t any original ideas left. Hollywood is giving away script deals to new writers left and right. In fact, the president of Warner Bros. called me the other day to see if I had any ideas for a movie. The best I could come up with was a remake of “Charles In Charge.”

I shouldn’t jest – it’s probably in the works.

Actors, Humor, Movie Comedies, Movies, News

Saw 3

December 2, 2005 /

Holy balls, was this episode creepy. How about Sheriff Underlay convincing his deputy to saw off his own arm in the name of God?

At least we’re starting to get some answers. Other than giving the show the requisite shot of racial diversity, Pria and Healy (not their real names) did provide some interesting information. The creatures have tried to invade before in Brazil and Cuba, but it didn’t take and the “survivors” ended up committing suicide. But things are different here in Florida, and no one knows why.

Also, the deputy’s abduction gave us a good look at the creatures in the water. Since he “grew” a new arm and we’ve now seen Mariel’s dead body as well as the Sheriff’s bones, I’m guessing that the creatures use the captured human’s DNA to grow a new body for the aliens to inhabit. I’m still trying to figure out how this relates to the creature/man that Russell and Dave tracked from the water to his home in the Everglades.

TV Dramas

What are the odds?

December 2, 2005 /

So it looks like Abruzzi still has a fighting chance, but the gang didn’t have much luck breaking out.

What are the odds, on the day of the prison break, that a custodian would notice a hole in floor vent and get it repaired the very same day? The prison just had a riot and that’s at the top of his list of repairs? And I thought that once the gang made it to the infirmary, all they had to do was shimmy across the wire and get over the wall. Why doesn’t Lincoln just go by himself? Considering that the only way he could think to stall the guard last week was to punch him in the nose, he did prove that his IQ is somewhere in the low eighties, so I’ll give him a pass this time around.

It looks like the show will return sometime next year. It’s certainly a strange move to put a popular show like “Prison Break” on hiatus, but who am I to question the decision-makers over at Fox? After all, they’re the geniuses that decided to cancel “Arrested Development.”

Prison Break, TV Action, TV Dramas

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