Author: Deb Medsker (Page 37 of 70)

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…

katecoke

Kate Moss has been reinstated as spokesmodel for for conservative British fashion house Burberry following allegations of cocaine abuse.

Despite having disgraced herself and, by association, the many fashion brands in whose ads she has appeared, Supermodel Kate Moss will appear in the fall/winter campaign for Burberry.

Said a Burberry spokesman, “She seemed a natural fit for our new line of ski wear…after all, when people think of snow, they think of Kate Moss.”

And besides, a new Burberry coat costs about as much as a bag of high-quality blow…so there’s clearly some target-audience synergy going on there.

How can it be wrong when it feels so right?

Is it wrong to punch Kevin Federline repeatedly in the face while wearing metal-studded leather gloves? We think not.

Is it wrong to continue punching him until the flesh falls from his face, revealing the bare, empty skull beneath? Again, we think not.

Is it wrong to punch his visibly pregnant, baby-clutching wife Britney Spears every time she steps in front of Kevin to protect him, or to purposely punch her baby so that she will drop the child and thereby leave Kevin more vulnerable? Surely, this cannot be wrong.

At least, we don’t think so. And neither do the makers of this videogame.

Hollywood Chamber of Commerce unleashes new round of strife

Matt Damon is in; Ben Affleck’s still out. Tim McGraw will appear, but his lovely wife hasn’t made the grade. Always ripe for debate, next year’s list of new stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is a doozy.

Okay, Michael Caine and Michelle Pfeiffer have clearly earned their stripes…but Erik Estrada? Barbara Walters, yes; Robert Altman, fine…LeAnn Rimes?! What the hell?!

And then there’s the whole issue of Puff Doody. Never mind that the Walk of Fame is presumably designed to recognize creative contributions to the arts…and electronically sampling the creative musical contributions of others hardly seems to qualify…what name is Sean Puffy Doodle Combs going to put on the star? Do they make stars big enough to hold all his nicknames? Or are they going to change their mind at the last minute, and give the honor to someone with a more low-maintenance moniker…like Prince?

Tommy Chong and the Evil Bong

evilbong

We just had to link to this piece from Cinematical about hacktastic auteur Charles Band’s next movie, “Evil Bong.”

Cinematical got the headline right, but Band has clearly missed an opportunity if he is honestly making a movie about an evil bong, starring Tommy Chong, but does not intend to call it “Tommy Chong and the Evil Bong.”

You’ve got Tommy Chong. You’ve got an evil bong. Why on earth would you call your movie anything other than “Tommy Chong and the Evil Bong.” Rolls right off the tongue, with a lovely rhyming cadence.

And based on that title alone, everyone who becomes aware of this movie is either in or out…just like that other perfectly-named blockbuster-in-the-making, “Snakes on a Plane.”

Now, granted, Band may be avoiding the inclusion of Chong’s name in the title because he wants to protect the egos of his other stars…or because Chong’s character in the movie has a name that doesn’t rhyme with bong…or because Band simply doesn’t enjoy a good Chong-bong rhyme like the rest of us.

But calling this thing “Evil Bong” waters down what could otherwise be a craptastic title for the ages.

Uhhhh….huh-huh. I said “bongwater.”

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