Author: David Medsker (Page 6 of 65)

Tonight’s episode of “24” felt like a blast from the past. It was pretty lean in terms of storytelling, it contained a hellacious, if predictable, end-around, and ended with one of the most vicious torture scenes in the show’s history. Pity it had one major, major flaw.

I liked that Dominic was so busy trying to nail down Bauer down that he took no notice of Chloe and Merv the Perv conspiring behind his back. Even when he noticed Chloe giving him The Look (you know the one), he just tinted the windows and kept on scheming. Fool. Nobody puts Chloe in a corner. Still, you’d think Dominic would show a little more diplomacy when safeguarding high crimes committed by the White House. By yanking that file away from Arlo, he may as well have stamped “CORRUPT” on his forehead.

As Jack is setting up the meet with White She Devil, I’m thinking to myself, “There has to be a better way to do this.” Not in terms of getting her the evidence (more on that in a bit), but in terms of meeting out in the open like that. So as it’s going down and he shows up, I knew he’d have a plan, and sure enough, he did. He didn’t care about getting caught on camera – he knew the hit man who took out Crazy Jackie would be there, and could then settle two scores for the price of one. Get the intel, and make the motherfucker responsible for Jackie’s death squeal like a stuck pig before ultimately killing him. Re-enter Mr. Blonde, to get the drop on Dmitri Sharpshooter.

But I have another idea.

“Let’s see, stab him, then the lighter fluid, then the blowtorch, then the pliers. No, pliers first. The crowd loves it when I open with that.”

That’s great that he was able to abduct – and torture the bejeezus out of – Renee’s killer, but if he just wanted to make sure She Devil got the video, why didn’t he just go viral with it? Post that puppy to YouTube, text her the link, have her record her own version in the event CTU discovers it, and send it to every TV station in New York City. She Devil said it herself, Starbuck’s tape alone was more than enough evidence to blow the lid off. He didn’t need to risk her life over it, which actually goes to Dominic’s point that Jack has indeed lost it, and is acting not out of duty but out of grief and hell-bent on revenge. I believe Jack has it mostly together; he did check himself after unloading about 20 hay makers on the helpless hit man. But let’s not kid ourselves, people: Jack Bauer is the Crow, and he will not stop until everyone responsible for Renee’s death is dealt with. And by dealt with, I mean gutted like a deer, but not before having a little blowtorch work done. And taking the cell phone memory card out of hit man’s stomach, staring him in the eyes the entire time…wow.

The bottom line is that Jack should go viral with the footage anyway, because once it’s out on the web, the government will not be able to control the message any longer. It’s an instant checkmate, and Jack, of all people, should know this. But hey, the “24” writers, for as advanced as their tech is, are slow on the draw with certain things. They actually used texting to their advantage this week, after passing on a golden opportunity to use it in an earlier episode. Before you know it, they’ll be Facebooking, tweeting, and then, when no one’s looking, sexting. Shhhhh!

I still have one question: has I.M. Weasel revealed how he suspected the Russians were involved in the day’s events? I remember him offering his services to Allison, and then blackmailing Mikhail into submission, but never really being forthright – not his strong suit, sure – with either of them. He must have known something, but what? If he heard chatter, then who was chattering? I hear chatter about lots of things, but I don’t offer my services to the President unless I’m 100% sure of my intel, especially if I’m a disgraced former President looking for redemption.

Time for tonight’s song, courtesy of a mid-’80s AAA-hungry Brian Setzer. This is the first time I’ve heard this song since its release, and all I could think of was Marshall Crenshaw. I’m frankly surprised Crenshaw didn’t write this, because it sounds just like him.

Bledsoe: “You won’t take the shot, it’s too risky! I’ll kill her before you…”
Jack: *Blam*

Seriously, that was one of the best deaths in “24” history. Here was Toepick, trying to act all intimidating, when Jack was a mere five or six feet away. He may as well have had the gun on Toepick’s forehead. Heck, I’m pretty sure Jack has made that shot across a windy rooftop with a pea shooter in a previous season.

As Jack continues to thwart I.M. Weasel’s nefarious plans, Logan’s conversations with Allison remind me of a “Simpsons” episode – in full disclosure, it should be noted that pretty much everything reminds me of a “Simpsons” episode – where Apu is trying to get out of his arranged marriage to a family friend, and Homer suggests that he pretend that he’s married to Marge, and Bart and Lisa are his kids. When the plan continues to go wrong, Apu finally grows tired of Homer’s wacky schemes:

Apu: Is it me, or do all of your plans involve some horrible web of lies?
Homer: It’s you.

Logan is Homer. Allison is Apu. Only she’s still going along with Logan’s ridiculous suggestions, even though each one is riskier and more conspicuous than the last one. Again, the woman who sent her own daughter to prison is authorizing Logan to put his assistant (official “24” nickname: Dominic, from his “Dollhouse” days) in charge of the hunt for Jack at CTU. Because that doesn’t look at all suspicious that you’re putting someone in between Jack and Chloe. Yumpin’ yiminy.

“Well, I say he does have to shoot me now! So shoot me now!”

There was a time when I hoped that they could come up with a way to take the bad guys down without getting Allison’s hands dirty, but as she continues to acquiesce, I am running out of patience with her. She’s had more than enough time to realize the grievous error in judgment she’s committed, but the problem at this point is that she can’t go back, so the web of lies expands. Still, go back to the beginning of this subplot, and think of Logan and Taylor as exes. Would you take ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ assistance from an ex – a known liar, to boot- even when they assured you that none of it would come back to haunt you? Of course you wouldn’t, because the two of you broke up for a reason, remember? There isn’t a parallel universe on this or any other world where Allison would accept that kind of help from someone like I.M. Weasel, and I’m growing tired of seeing them continue with the ruse.

Now let’s get to the other great death in tonight’s episode. Was anyone else shocked at the remorselessness Jack showed in dispatching Starbuck? Yes, she could not be trusted, and yes, she had killed several innocent civilians in order to facilitate her escape, as well as conceal her cover. And yes, Jack is going to have hell to pay from Buffy, even though Starbuck spared his life when hatching her Plan B to go off the grid. But for someone who said he was only interested in justice, Jack killing an unarmed Starbuck seemed a bit dark, didn’t it? How about chaining her to something and having the police deal with her? If the Russians kill her before she gets processed, so be it. She had her chance to escape on Jack’s terms, and she reneged. But just deciding that she had to die…that’s not going to help his case when he sees what’s on the video file and tries to make his case for, well, overthrowing the government. It seems the smarter play would have been from the Richard Kimble playbook, where you try to keep as many people alive as possible, even when they mean you harm. You’re trying to make a big, big case; it’s a lot easier to do that when there is no blood on your hands.

Only four hours left. I traded messages with onetime “Prison Break” blogger John “You Must Suspend Disbelief” Paulsen about the perils of blogging TV shows, and he told me that when “Prison Break” went off the air, he threw a party. As much as I’ve loved watching this show and writing this silly, silly blog, I’m harboring similar plans. I am grateful to all six of you who have stuck with this blog until the very end, but I’m officially at the point where I cannot wait for this show to be over. And with any luck, our colleague Will Harris will find himself in the same room with Cherry Jones at the next TCA gathering, and I can ask him to get her to talk about how she felt about getting lobotomized mid-season. Hey, at the very least, we might get a good off-the-record story from her on the subject.

In the meantime, I leave you with this clip from the Cranberries’ first album. It seemed to fit, given that Jack put Starbuck down like a dog, but not before putting Toepick down like a rabid dog. Plius, I have been sitting here for about an hour trying to find a clever lyric as a subtitle for this week’s blog, and I’m tired, man. Cranberries it is. Good night.

First, let’s meet the two newest members of of the “24” cast:

– Jim Ricker (Michael Madsen), an ‘I can get things’ kind of guy, off the grid and on the wrong side of a favor to Jack. Official “24” nickname: Mr. Blonde, of course.
– Mark Bledsoe (D.B. Sweeney), a ridiculously mustachioed private security agent who isn’t afraid to dabble in torture. Official “24” nickname: Toepick. My wife came up with that one, as you might imagine.

Welcome to the show, gentlemen. Now please, D.B., shave that damn thing on your face.

Do you want to know how busy Michael Madsen is? His appearance on “24” is already listed as the 34th most recent acting gig he’s done. That man’s a machine.

There is still something about President I.M. Weasels’ motives that bothers me. I’m convinced he still has at least one card, and maybe two, up his sleeve. He can’t just be looking for an image makeover, because he wouldn’t resort to extortion – poorly planned extortion, at that – in order to do it…would he? For as much as he’s supposedly playing the hardliner with the Russians, he’s also protecting them and himself by negotiating Starbuck’s release into Toepick’s custody, willing to live with the consequences in the event that “mistakes are made.” No, the extortion actually looks like a cover for something worse, possibly that he’s in league with the Russians, or a group that stands to take advantage of a post-treaty Russia. I don’t think we’ve seen the full weaselosity of Logan yet, which is saying something.

On the Starbuck front, something deliciously awesome just presented itself as a possibility: Jack and Buffy spring Starbuck, and the three work together to blow the lid on the conspiracy. Now, who saw THAT coming after Starbuck revealed herself to be a double agent? I thought her story ended with a bullet to the head, fired by her fiance. Now, they look like the “24” version of The Losers, government spooks trying to clear their name. Hopefully, this will turn out better than the movie.

“Well, self, are you ready to commit high crimes against the government?” “Bitch, please.”

Allison, once again, takes a look at the path of righteousness, considers changing course, but ultimately opts for rockier terrain after I.M. Weasel works his bad juju on Allison in private. Thank God, then, that Ethan stood up to her and showed her just how serious he was about the mistakes she’s making. I guess actors can hear me when I yell at the TV, after all.

Back to the Ricker character: the press release says that he will appear in the final six episodes, but I highly doubt that. It’s not like that can say that he’ll be in the next three episodes, because we’ll know that he dies in the third one. Earlier this year, they said that Annie Wersching was in 23 episodes this season, and we all know how that turned out. (*shakes fist at sky*) Nope, Mr. Blonde will only be able to take so many phone calls from Jack before someone sniffs him out. Which is too bad, because he has a pretty sweet lair, with all that gear and security tech.

The single best thing about tonight’s episode was that Jack knew that Chloe would double-cross him, worked that into his battle plan, and appears to forgive Chloe for setting him up. That is friendship, right there. And while the writers have sent Allison hurtling into WTF territory, it’s good to see that they haven’t lost their minds about what makes Chloe tick. She’s done underhanded stuff in the past, yes, but she wasn’t director of CTU then, saddled with a Presidential order. He knew she’d play ball, and he worked that to his advantage. Now when does he let her in on his ruse, and will she be so accommodating the next time?

With the series planning a big-screen conversion, you would think that Jack and Chloe and the series on a good note, but for that to happen, it means that Dalia Hassan has to find out the truth about Allison covering up Russia’s involvement for the sake of the treaty. If that happens, Allison will be disgraced, just like Logan. My question is: does Allison deserve that? Yes, she’s making some major mistakes here, but she’s no I.M. Weasel. Is there a way that Logan can take the fall again, but Allison can be redeemed before it’s too late? I honestly hope so. It doesn’t seem right that she goes down as a baddie.

Tonight’s blog title comes courtesy of Aimee Mann, the unofficial title track to her 1996 pop classic I’m with Stupid. Mann has stated that she hated working under the major labels’ thumb, but as much as it pains me to say this, she also did her best work when she did. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that she has been able to make a living outside of the system – in fact, she’s made far more money on her own than she ever did working for the Man – but A&R men are not always wrong when they tell their client that they don’t hear a single. Just sayin’.