Author: David Medsker (Page 33 of 65)

While staring down Broadway at one of the two big twists in the final segment of tonight’s episode of “24,” the other twist T-boned my car, threw me from the vehicle, and knocked me unconscious. I knew that Daddy Bauer (official Premium Hollywood nickname pending) was going to kill Dr. Romano/Evil from the second that he asked to be left alone. Jesus, Jack, haven’t you learned anything? The second your back is turned, bad shit happens, even when your father is around…especially when your father is around. Once word of Dr. Romano’s death reaches you, maybe you’ll connect the dots.

In truth, Daddy Bauer’s plan is quite ingenious, if dastardly. He has lowered the guard of his do-gooder son, silenced the only person who could sell him out, and set up his son’s death so that Dr. Romano’s wife and “child” will hold Jack responsible, since the cause of death will surely be a fatal seizure due to excessive torture. Jack will feel as though he has betrayed his family, which will make him even more vulnerable to Daddy’s evil machinations. (And now we know why Daddy killed the goon assigned to kill him, instead of giving Jack the chance to ask him any questions.) S-M-R-T, as Homer Simpson would spell it.

As for the other twist, well, I’m embarrassed to admit that I thought that the reluctant engineer for the nuclear triggers would also be Daddy Bauer. I envisioned him killing Dr. Romano, then getting a cell phone call from Fayed, saying, “We have some unfinished business,” or something equally cliché. Then he takes off out the back door while Jack isn’t looking, and goes to settle this whole nuke thing on his own before his company is implicated any further. And speaking of the company, I have to ask this: wouldn’t the government, with its all-knowing intel abilities, know that Jack’s father and brother run a group that deals in nuclear weapons? I mean, come on, are the Bauers members of the Stonecutters or something?

So back to the twist, then: Morris, hearing the “news” that his brother is in critical condition at the hospital as a result of the nuclear blast, takes off as soon as his shortcuts to decrypting the garbled image file have started working. It’s a shame he didn’t wait until it was finished, or he would have seen that the engineer to be coerced was…him. I’m tempted to ask why he didn’t want to see who the engineer was, especially if there’s a chance in hell that it could be him, but the larger question is about CTU’s willingness to let Morris leave in the first place. When Edgar’s mother was caught in a nuclear blast during Day Four, they refused to let Edgar leave. Now look at today. Morris’ brother’s in the hospital? Go attend to that, man. We’ll cover for you. Don’t worry, it’s only a matter of four nuclear weapons in play. CTU’s gotten soft, man. No wonder there’s a mole within their operations every time they turn around.

Plot C involved the president reconsidering the Biscuit’s plan to lock up anyone who looks like a terrorist, now that Karen Hayes is out of the picture (don’t get me started). President Palmer, finally, becomes suspicious of the Biscuit and his intentions, and the introduction of the Vice President, who also happens to be the senator of Sin City, goes to great lengths to justify that mistrust. Senator Roark looks ready to bomb his own plane out of the sky for the sake of national security. Yikes. How long before they start plotting Wayne’s death during staff meetings?

I’m curious to find out how and when they are going to bring back President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk and the First Lady of Crazy. I have to admit that the White House scenes are downright boring without them. Wayne Palmer may be the sole voice of reason left in the White House, but he’s a dull voice of reason. God, I hope that Karen Hayes shakes things up when she arrives at CTU…assuming she ever gets there. Hey, there’s a plot twist for ya! The Biscuit kills Hayes, and Bill Buchanan declares war on the White House. Now, that would be sweet. After all, if they’re going to embrace their soap-y nature, why not go all the way?

Well, that didn’t take long. Mr. “I swear on my family’s life” sold out both his Dudley Do-Right brother and morally ambiguous father at the drop of the hat, and by playing the family card, no less. Here’s the thing, though: if the plot didn’t require it, Jack Bauer would never, ever have thrown the handcuff keys to some hired goon that, only moments before, was about to unload an entire clip into his skull. Dr. Evil’s pleas to Jack about protecting family seemed desperate and hollow from the very beginning, and we now know just how meaningless those pleas actually were. But come on, of course they were meaningless to him. He’s been raising Jack’s son as his own. But that conspiracy theory will have to be put on hold for now.

So my left-field theory about Walid being a spy turned out to be dead wrong. But my observation in the first week about the FBI, and how they must be either incompetent or corrupt to allow such chaos to take place on American soil, could be dead on the money. After all, their plan to implicate the alleged terrorist detainees required Walid to do two simple things:

1) Steal the guy’s cell phone without him knowing
2) Return his cell phone without him knowing

You’re kidding, right? Pickpocketing someone is one thing, but giving back something without them realizing it is another thing entirely. There isn’t a single intelligence bureau working under our jurisdiction that would ever dream of doing something so boneheaded.

Which brings us to Karen Hayes’ sudden resignation from President Palmer’s staff, and subsequent request to join CTU in Los Angeles. I found Karen’s willingness to roll over so quickly a bit out of character, especially when it’s the Biscuit that’s asking her to roll over. She had a good game face when he challenged her with the supposed checkered past of her and hubby Bill Buchanan, so what made her change her mind so quickly? The plot, that’s what. Jack acted out of character, the FBI acted out of character, and Karen acted out of character, all because it was required of them. They would be wise not to make a habit of this in the coming weeks. Tony Kornheiser said earlier tonight on “Pardon the Interruption” that he thinks “24” is jumping the shark this very moment. I’m not ready to hop on that bandwagon yet, but episodes like this are only going to fan those flames.

And now, your conspiracy theory of the week.

If your mind is remotely as warped and suspicious as mine, then you watched Milo hand his login info over to Natalie and thought, “Big mistake.” They are setting up one of two things here: either they are paving the way for Milo’s exit – Eric Balfour, deservedly or not, has developed a rep as a show-killer of Ted McGinley-esque proportions – or they are about to expose that CTU has yet another mole bringing them down from the inside (my gosh, who screens the candidates there?). Given that Marisol Nichols is ten times the actor that Balfour is, the former theory would be better for the show, but that is no guarantee that they will do what’s best for the show.

Since the bomb dropped, the show has kinda fizzled. Time to turn things up a notch, guys. “Heroes” is beating you in the Neilsens. There’s a bull’s-eye on your back. Quit playing it safe and start killing people, stat.