In an act of complete insanity, director/actor Vincent Gallo has put up his sperm for sale on the official website for Gallo merchandise – VGmerchandise.com – to the tune of $1 million. The option of natural insemination is also available for an additional $500,000, but if he finds the woman attractive, he will gladly waive the fee. Oh, how nice of him. The following description is a selection from the sales pitch on the website:
“Mr. Gallo is 5’11” and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it’s a boy. (8 inches if he’s like his father.) I don’t know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can’t hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions.”
Wow. It later goes on to state that “the purchase of Mr. Gallo’s sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child. ” This guy might just steal the Whacko of the Year award away from Tom Cruise, but it’s going to be a close race.
