I guess at this point I’ve chosen my destiny to the extent that, barring some miraculous talent infusion, I will probably never interview Ashton Kutcher. It’s not just that he’s a mediocre actor, I’m just allergic to the guy. Something about his onscreen persona — a sense of entitlement backed up by pseudo intelligence, perhaps — just sets my teeth on edge and makes me want to punch him, and I am a very bad puncher who should never be punching anyone.
Nevertheless, I present this red-band trailer for his latest rom-com, “No Strings Attached.” It’s completely NSFW because it’s a bit fuck-happy, both in terms of the act and the heavy and loud use of the word itself, and it does have some chuckles. There’s a bit of Kevin Kline as Kutcher’s father at the beginning, heretical though the thought is that one of my favorite extant actors could begat a Kutcher. Also, for those of you to whom this is an inviting or repellent thought, be advised this trailer also contains a brief moment of what may be naked Kutcher keister. Natalie Portman is, at least, underclothed in many of the shots even if no specific naughty bits are revealed.