Month: July 2007 (Page 2 of 23)

Oh, the things you’ll do

Every now and again, there’s an episode like the one that aired tonight. Sometimes it’s because the show is contracted for so many episodes, but the main story arc requires fewer than the agreed amount, and other times it’s the writers just having fun. Unfortunately, tonight’s filler came at the most inopportune time, as the fourth season has begun showing signs of wear. Then again, perhaps this was a much-needed break from all the Eric-Walsh drama, because it looks like things are going to pick back up again next week with Eric trying to take over as Vince’s agent.

There wasn’t any connection to the main story arc in this week’s episode, but when the guys begin to tease Eric for his inability to have a non-emotional relationship, Drama ups the ante by making a little bet with his kid brother: Turtle can bed a girl (without paying) before Eric can (without calling her the next day), with 5,000 bucks going to the winner. Vince takes Eric under his wing and hits up all the poolside hot spots. It doesn’t take too long to find a couple girls who want to party, but while Vince is upstairs getting a little workout, Eric stays downstairs chatting up a hot British girl about his last girlfriend Sloan, who he unfortunately runs into during the middle of his conversation.

Meanwhile, Drama shops around Craigslist to find a girl desperate enough to sleep with Turtle, but when they reply to an ad and discover the girl is drop dead sexy (and horny), the bet is practically won. The only thing Turtle needs to do is pick up her dry cleaning and meet her later that night, but when the duo arrive at the dry cleaners to pick up her item, it turns out to be a pink bunny suit. Drama knows right away what Turtle’s gotten himself into – the girl is a furry, or a person who likes to dress up in furry animal costumes and have sex. Turtle looks downright ridiculous in the outfit, but he agrees to follow through with it in order to win the bet. That is, until Eric comes back with pictures of Sloan dancing through his head, and the bet is determined a forfeit. Turtle is happy and so is Drama, but when Eric learns that Sloan is with someone else, he quickly changes his mind (and his clothes) and heads back to the hotel to “fuck that British girl.”

Turtle couldn’t care less – even if Drama gave him all $5,000 for the winnings – and so, knowing full well that he’s already lost the money, Drama grabs the bunny suit and heads to the furry’s house to get what he paid for. When Turtle does a little reconnaissance to find out just what they may be, he finds Drama (dressed in a pink bunny suit) slamming the girl (wearing a brown squirrel outfit) doggystyle over a coffee table. Oh yeah, and for comedic effect (if there wasn’t enough already), Drama has to lift the squirrel’s tail in order to do it. Not exactly the direction we were all hoping Drama would be led in, but if you’re going to waste an entire episode on shit like this, you might as well make the best of the opportunity.

The “B” story of the episode found Ari desperately trying to find a way to get his son into a private school. He’s already tried buying out the headmaster, so he moves on to the next best thing: blackmail. Mrs. Ari wants to be kept in the loop, but as Ari says, “This is like ‘The Godfather’ baby. Sometimes you can’t ask me about my business.” Unfortunately, the guy’s clean as a whistle, and so Ari decides that, well, maybe he’s looking at it all wrong. It’s not the school’s that decide whether a child grows into a good person, but the environment at home. His son doesn’t seem to agree, as all he really wants is to be able to attend the same private school as his best friend. As a result, Ari is forced to do something that we’ve never (or rarely) seen him do: beg. It was a defining moment in Jeremy Piven’s four-year performance as the super-agent, and as the dude began to cry, I couldn’t help but feel for the guy. He deserves an Emmy for that performance, which is too bad, since Kevin Dillon (who’s just as deserving) is nominated in the same category.

Comic-Con: Day Three – Disney/Pixar

I’m not really sure why I dreaded this presentation so much (perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I just sat through four hours of entertaining panels knowing this one would be a snoozefest in comparison), but the Disney/Pixar panel just wasn’t up to par. They didn’t have a whole lot to show, and of the three films represented, there wasn’t a single one that interested me in the way projects from every other panel have this weekend.

“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” (guests: Andrew Adamson – via satellite)

This was a split panel, in a sense, because many of the film’s crewmembers appeared in person to discuss their work on the second installment, but director Andrew Adamson was unable to get away from the set long enough to pop in. He was, however, able to appear via satellite video (along with a two second delay, ugh) so that he could intro a never-before-seen trailer for the new film and show off the Boy That Would Be Caspian, Ben Barnes (who’ll also appear in the fantasy film “Stardust” this August). Though he didn’t stay for very long, Adamson was the only interesting thing about the presentation.

The rest of the panel knew so little about the production as a whole (they’re experts in one field and one field only), that I felt a bit shortchanged. They showed off some pre-viz animation, finished creature effects and armor that was created especially for the film, and also fielded questions from the audience, but once Adamson and Barnes went to bed (no, seriously), the panel pretty much died right along with them. Nevertheless, while the first movie was a huge success, the second installment promises to be even bigger. Just think about how much better “The Two Towers” was than “The Fellowship of the Ring,” and you’ll get a good idea of what direction the film is going. Here’s a hint: It rhymes with “lots of schmaction.”

“National Treasure 2: The Book of Secrets” (guests: none)

Nicolas Cage was scheduled to appear on Sunday along with his son to pimp their new comic book, but he obviously wasn’t too concerned with stopping by to present the world premiere trailer of “National Treasure 2.” Hmm… could it be because it sucks? I won’t pass judgment too early, but I will say one thing. Helen Mirren as Benjamin Gates’ mother/father’s new girlfriend? Seriously? This is what she signs up for after winning every award imaginable? The plot itself sounds a bit farfetched – his great granddad is framed as the puppet master behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln – but this is just ridiculous.

“WALL*E” (guests: Andrew Stanton)

What if humans evacuated Earth but forgot to turn off the last robot? This is the story of “WALL*E,” a movie about a trash-compactor robot who continues to perform his one function even after everyone has left. Of course, WALL*E is eventually picked up by a spaceship where other (more advanced) robots roam, and it’s there that he falls in love. Now, from the footage that Andrew Stanton showed to the Comic-Con crowd, I have to say that Pixar is taking a HUGE risk with their latest film. Sure, the five-minute clipped that was shown was charming as hell, but will mainstream America be able to sit through a two-hour long film with almost no dialogue? Perhaps, but only because we don’t know all the details just yet. What we do know is that the robots can only say their own name (as well make a few reactionary noises), the humans have turned into lazy slobs (a la “Idiocracy”), and that there is a live-action element that plays into the film. Of course, Stanton wouldn’t get into specifics, and that’s the only reason why I haven’t completely condoned this movie. Well, and it’s Pixar.

Comic-Con: Day Three – “The Simpsons”

Though “The Simpsons Movie” is already out in theaters, that didn’t stop Matt Groening and Co. from stopping by to share some news about the upcoming season, shamelessly plugging franchise tie-ins, and even answering a few questions from the audience. Because I’m not a diehard fan like others on the BE staff, it’s a bit difficult to elaborate on all the details of the panel without a solid background of the show, but I will offer up some nuggets of info that were discussed throughout the course of the presentation.

Groening started the panel off in grand fashion by introducing a never-before-seen deleted scene from the aforementioned “Simpsons” movie. The clip in question features Homer as he treks back to Springfield by way of a sausage truck. After letting Homer off at his stop, the driver (voiced by Hank Azaria) heads back to check on his sausages (and singing “checking my sausages”) only to discover that they’re all gone.

Later in the presentation, we were also treated to the opening few minutes of this season’s “Treehouse of Horror” episode, and while I’d really like to talk about it here, I’d rather not spoil it for anyone who may be reading this. Well, I’ll say just one thing: it has to do with those annoying advertisements that pop up on the corner of your TV screen while you’re watching a show, and it’s very, very funny.

The highlight of the panel? When an attendee requested that Groening sing the Spider-pig song and the entire cast/crew joined him in the jingle.

Spoiler Alert: If you don’t want to hear any details about the new season of the show, stop reading now.

* In this year’s new season, a rival comic book shop will open in Springfield, and the owner will be voiced by Jack Black. Comic book legend Alan Moore will also cameo as himself.

* Another episode will feature Ralph Wiggum running for a major political position when the people of Springfield write him onto the ballot, unknowingly causing a domino effect that makes him the election front-runner.

* Spider-pig will return in the season premiere, but only briefly.

* “The Simpsons” theme park ride is still in its early stages, but voice acting has already been recorded (Yeardley Smith even accidentally leaked some news about Sideshow Bob appearing), and will be replacing the “Back to the Future” ride at Universal Studios.

* The script for “The Simpsons Movie” went through 166 drafts (and four years) before finally arriving at the final product. So if you’’e wondering why the movie was so darn good (and maybe it isn’t, but I haven’t had the chance to see it yet), that’s why.

Comic-Con: Roundtable with Zack Snyder

Following the Warner Bros. panel on Friday afternoon, a select group of press were invited to take part in a series of roundtable discussions with various panelists from the presentation. Director Zack Snyder (of the upcoming “Watchmen” film) was kind enough to give me and seven other writers a few minutes of his time to discuss the film in a much more controlled environment. Unfortunately, Zack likes to talk an awful lot and we didn’t have much time to begin with (five minutes), so I was unable to ask any of the questions I had lined up (like whether Gerard Butler will be cast as Hooded Justice, or if he’s got any ideas on how to shoot the “Black Freighter” sequence). Of course, there’s a lot of people out there who’d like to know everything they possibly can about the production on this movie, and so I’ve posted the following tidbit for the pleasure of anyone who may be interested…

Zack Snyder: (continuing his conversation from the previous roundtable) One of the things that I think is important about “Watchmen” is that it have resonances of cinematic pop culture, as well as superhero culture, because I believe there’s a relationship between Rorschach and Travis Bickle in “”Taxi Driver.” I believe that there’s a relationship between the war room in “Doctor Strangelove” and NORAD. There are cinematic relationships in the graphic novel, and I really think that the movie, this movie, “Watchmen,” is able to comment on both things in a way that other movies can’t, because it really does observe pop culture all the time while it’s telling the story. And I think that part of the influence on the characters themselves is the culture that they’re in. And for that part it’s something hugely fun to explore and, just from a visual standpoint, is hugely fun to say ‘Well, what does that mean?.’ Like, when you’re in the war room, how do you make it “Doctor Strangelove,” without making it “Doctor Strangelove”?

Reporter: It’ll pull you too far out of the story…

ZS: Yeah, I mean, let’s be realistic. Probably 99.999% of the population has not seen “Doctor Strangelove,” so there’ll be minimal impact on them, but, you know, for those of us that have, you want it to have those kind of broad implications that that has about the Cold War, and about like satire, and all those things, so Alex and I have been having a lot of fun, I think, in trying to… because I always say, treat the graphic novel like it was written 2,000 years old and it is like an illuminated text, and that we are disciples of this religion and we have to make sure that it is somehow, you know… we won’t be burned at the stake, for heresy, after the movie comes out. I think that’s the fun we also have, like for instance even just the smallest things like when Rorschach burns the SWAT cops with the hairspray. We’re sitting around and they showed me some hairsprays – you know, cool ratty hairspray cans – and I was like ‘Oh, they’re cool, but the labels are wrong.’ And they’re like, ‘What do you mean?’ And I go ‘That’s Veidt for Men, it should be, hairspray.’ And I was like ‘See?’ (mocks opening a copy of “Watchmen”), and they’re like ‘Oh, fuck, okay, sorry.’ But it’s like that. You could do that with pretty much everything in the movie.

Reporter: Well, like “300,” you already have a visual template to draw from and reference. In that sense, is the movie – because you haven’t really started on it yet – is it kind already made?

ZS: You know, it’s a hugely, hugely difficult thing to take any work of, like a drawing, and say ‘Make that real.’ You know you have… well yeah, to some extent, you know? I think part of making “Watchmen” is deciding what not to have in the movie, not what is in the movie. That’s easy, you know? So we’re just trying to like, what stories don’t you have? That’s part of the problem. It’s awesome because it’s a six-hour movie if you shoot everything. Just about. What happened was we meet a guy – a very awesome guy – who had done an animatic of the first ten minutes of the graphic novel. Like the first three chapters. Well not three chapters, but first six pages of the book. And it timed out at about ten minutes. And it was each frame, alright? With cool little flash animation – awesome – and with art from the book. And he said ‘I’ve extrapolated that if you wanted to do the whole book and it would be six hours and twenty minutes’… And so it’s not as easy as saying ‘Oh, that shot, that shot, that shot.’

Studio Rep: (talking to Snyder) We have to go.

Reporter: Really quick. Do you have a timeframe for the movie?

ZS: I don’t have a timeframe right now. I think it’s running long right now. It’s about 140 page script, not including “The Black Freighter,” and so – and “The Black Freighter” is about 16 pages as a script – and so, I mean, it’s going to be long.

Comic-Con: A Night with Kevin Smith

An annual tradition for the Comic-Con crowd, Kevin Smith’s appearance on Friday night offered something a little different for fans of the writer/director. After a monologue that casually poked fun at the fact that Fox had pulled out of the weekend event, Smith also briefly talked about other Comic-Con staples, including Stan Lee, for who he made the following comment about: “If Stan Lee’s semen had a tenth of the creative genius he has, I’d let him fuck me in the mouth.”

Not exactly a family-friendly event, but that didn’t stop the flocks of under aged attendees from sticking around. In the words of an especially young attendee when asked by Smith about his very first Comic-Con: “This is fucking mind-blowing.”

Though many were there to see Smith do his thing for all 90 minutes, the writer/director had a little surprise for those in attendance: the pilot episode of The CW’s “Reaper.” The show, which is a mix between “Ghost Rider” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (and possibly “Ghostbusters,” but I can’t make that assessment based on one episode), is the perfect replacement for those still mourning the cancellation of “Buffy,” “Angel” and other fantasy-based programs. For more on the show, be sure to check out our very own Will Harris’ report from the TCA Press Tour.

As is common with panels like this, many of the questions were incredibly stupid. Okay, most of them were stupid, including a particular anti-Smith advocate who asked him whether he would ever make a movie that didn’t reuse characters from past films, and didn’t suck. Smith’s response was classic, declaring that he had two projects in the work, and that he would start production on both as soon as he “took his cock out of your mother’s ass.” Here are some other highlights from the event:

*On Steven Spielberg’s holier-than-thou satellite feed during the Thursday panel: “Fuck you, Schindler. Get in line bitch.”

*On his disappointment with “Transformers” being too long, and wasting time on things like robots peeing on humans: “I just wanted to see shit turn into other shit.”

*On what he would do if he weren’t making movies: “I’d work in a deli, because I make a really good sandwich.”

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