Last night’s “Idol Gives Back” results show started off with Ryan Seacrest claiming that this would be the “most shocking result” in the history of the show. Surely he didn’t mean Melinda was going home? Or Jordin Sparks, after that awesome performance on Tuesday? I have to admit, I was scared.
Then they cut over to Ellen DeGeneres, who was the satellite co-host to a plethora of musical artists, and there was an otherwise star-studded group of guest performers and visitors. It was a long show, and I promise you I’ll try to sum it up in as few words as possible.
Musical guests who performed live: Earth, Wind & Fire, Il Divo, Rascal Flatts, Josh Groban with an African children’s choir, Kelly Clarkson with Jeff Beck, Celine Dion with the ghost of Elvis, and Annie Lennox. EWF was awesome, Josh Groban makes me irritated and I’m not sure why, and Kelly Clarkson was as good as I’ve ever heard her….and proved that she could still blow away anyone else who’s ever won this thing. Oh, and a word on Il Divo…I’d never seen these guys before….but really, who wants to watch four opera singers doing pop? Big freaking yawn-fest.
They also showed the judges visiting various places like Africa, and battered parts of America such as New Orleans….it was all heartfelt, riveting and frightening at the same time. But then, the show on this night was a telethon so this is what they had to do.
Quincy Jones and Bono both had their chances to work with the Idol contestants. Jones wrote a song specifically for this show, and the Idols performed it…and it was, as you would expect, really great. Bono coached them but they didn’t show him until the end of the show, and they performed another group song as the show ended. (And for the whole show, the contestants were dressed as the Good Humor Man…what was that all about?).
Meanwhile, other folks who made random appearances were Ben Stiller, who gave us a terrifying rendition of The Little River Band’s “Reminiscing” in various segments, trying to raise millions of dollars in the process. Dude also gave a shout out to Pure Prairie League….oddly enough, I am that band’s publicist. Ben, the check is in the mail.
They showed both Madonna and Carrie Underwood in Africa, with Underwood performing The Pretenders’ “Stand By You” to a bunch of kids there. I’m not sure why, but it was mildly disturbing.
Jack Black got up on the main stage and sang Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose,” and then asked for the judges to honestly critique him. The best was Simon, who said it was better than Sanjaya, but then it got funnier. Seal was actually sitting next to Randy Jackson! That was probably the highlight of the show…sorry, Elvis.
There was also a video of a bunch of celebs singing “Stayin’ Alive,” including Teri Hatcher, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Hugh Grant, and that’s about all I remember.
Okay, now for the shocking results. Throughout the show, the contestants were brought to safety one by one. First, Melinda. Big sigh of relief. Then, Blake. I was surprised there. Then, Phil. Good for him. Then, Lakisha. Uh-oh. That left Chris and Jordin. And all of a sudden, my wife says, “maybe the shocker is that no one gets eliminated.” Why, yes, that’s it! I agreed and knew it was coming, and that’s what happened. Chris was safe, leaving Jordin, but then Ryan said Jordin was safe too. Which means the votes are carried over and we have double elimination next week.
I think they said they raised like $30 million by the end of the show, and I’m sure that at least doubled by the end of the night. Good for them, as that much money really has to make some kind of difference somewhere.
But now back to reality, and back to the competition……Phil, Blake, Chris, Lakisha…….you’ve got a 50/50 chance next week of being eliminated. So bring your A game. See you all then…
