A guy says to a girl, “If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time.”
She says, “If you had taken more time, I would have taken off my panty hose.”
“Hello, Dial-A-Joke? Quick, I need another one!”
There’s more than this joke to U-Entertainment’s recent interview with Macy…but I don’t know that there’s anything funnier.
After seeing the trailer for Joe Carnahan’s new action/comedy feature, “Smokin’ Aces,” I’m officially intriqued. What looks to be a mix between “Kill Bill,” “True Romance” and “Rounders” also boasts one of the coolest casts to date, including Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Peter Berg, Andy Garcia, Ray Liotta, Ryan Reynolds and Jeremy Piven.
Your day won’t be complete until you go to the site and check out the MP3 of “There’s Always Something Doing When Brimley’s In Town.” According to the website, the song, a duet between “Brimley” and “Steve Guttenberg,” “mirrors the complex and rocky relationship these two masters had with one other.” Come on, everybody, sing…!
“So lock up your daughters, ’cause shit goes down
When Wilford Brimley’s in town…!”
The conflict between Hearst and the rest of the camp continues to grow – this week he has the cojones to fire a few shots across Alma’s bow as she heads to bank. Of course, he didn’t take the shots himself – he wouldn’t get his hands that dirty. I was impressed by Al’s leap from his balcony when he rushed to the widow’s aid. Swearenegen’s method of comfort turned into one of the best lines of the episode: “It’s horrible being shot at. It never gets no better.” Bullock was in parts unknown, so it was up to Al to decipher the meaning of the shooting. Brilliantly, he had Dan knock out and tie up Ellsworth before telling him of the incident, so that he wouldn’t fly off the handle and rush Hearst.
It’s clear that Hearst wants to divide and conquer, and with Bullock out of town he saw an opportunity to knock Ellsworth out of the picture. Al, with help from Dan and Alma, managed to rein him in. Al is going to need all the help he can find if he hopes to hold onto the camp, so it’s in his best interests to keep Ellsworth alive.
After the Earp brothers arrived, I thought we might see the familiar story of Wyatt taking over as sheriff (presumably after Hearst takes out Bullock) when all he wants to do is be a private citizen. Their subsequent departure leads me to believe that Bullock will survive at least until the end of the season. Considering that the tension between he and Hearst has reached its boiling point, I don’t know how both of them get out of camp alive. Considering that, in real life, Hearst goes on to be a U.S. Senator, the odds aren’t in Bullock’s favor.
The show continues to spend far too much time with the theater troupe. Jack is an interesting character, but his dealings with a couple of starlets were confusing and disorientating. Clearly, he and this Mary woman have a history, but he chooses to allow another aspiring performer to stay in the theater, much to the dismay of one of his fellow performers (and, of course, to Mary). Jack has worked his way into Hearst’s favor with his ability to relieve back pain, so he should have the opportunity to take Hearst down if he so chooses. I don’t know where the troupe storyline is headed, but I hope creator David Milch has something good up his sleeve.
Joanie and Jane have been growing closer over the past few weeks, and their relationship is starting to head a sexual direction. Jane continues to struggle with her alcoholism, which is a direct result of the blame she puts on herself for Wild Bill’s death. Joanie is a nurturer as well as a tortured soul, and clearly she finds Jane to be a kindred spirit.
But it was Al who really shined in this episode, rushing to Alma’s aid, outwitting Hearst, and beating the snot out of Hearst’s messenger before slitting his throat. It’s been interesting to see Al and Bullock on the same side this season after being at odds for most of the series. Bullock’s return was somewhat uneventful. It was clear at dinner that he was fuming, but he didn’t go after Hearst so Charlie must have filled him in on Al’s take on the shooting.
The camp needs reinforcements, but Al can’t afford to send Dan to get them. Silas convinces him to use Hawkeye, someone Al doesn’t trust, to bring the guns. This adds an element of uncertainty to this storyline, so I wouldn’t be surprised if support arrived at a very opportune time.
There are only two episodes left – how will it end?
I felt like I was going to fall asleep halfway through tonight’s episode, Ari had very little screen time, and we haven’t seen Sloan now for at least two or three weeks…and yet, this was one of the season’s best episodes. Bar none.
I mean, come on, Vince hooks up with a chick he meets at a bookstore only to find out, while they’re naked in bed, that she’s getting married. But, hey, it’s cool because he’s on her “list.” You know, the “celebrities we’re allowed to bang” list that some people make with their significant others but very few actually have a chance to cash in on. Well this chick did and, I’m sorry, but that’s just fucking sweet. “Friends” did a list episode once upon a time but, even though Ross actually met one of his freebie celebs (Isabella Rossellini), you knew nothing would ever come of their lists. Not so on “Entourage,” though. For once, we get to see someone’s list in action, and the fact that we only found out about it after the fact made the payoff that much sweeter.
There is a lesson to be learned here, kids: If you live in L.A., you’d be wise to choose the names on your freebie list very carefully, because you never know when you’re going to bump into one of your choices at a bookstore. That and, while you may think you’re hot shit when you’re taking Sundance by storm or starring in your own summer blockbuster, you haven’t officially arrived until you’ve been listed by a soon-to-be-married hottie in the middle of the afternoon.
But that wasn’t the highlight of the episode. For the second week in a row, that honor goes to Johnny Drama. While his little brother was getting listed in one hotel room, Drama was getting Vanilla Iced in another hotel room. Watching that dude hang Drama over the balcony by his heels, a la Suge Knight, was priceless and will probably go down as one of the most memorable moments in the series’ history, especially since one of the guys recognized Drama from “Viking Quest.” Of course, the downside here is that Turtle’s career as a manager appears to be over before it really started but, hey, at least he got his $40,000, right?
Of course, the most significant development tonight was E stumbling upon what could turn into the signature role of Vince’s young career. For a while, that title seemed to be reserved for the lead in “Medellin” as Pablo Escobar, but playing Joey Ramone in “I Wanna Be Sedated” should jumpstart Vince’s suddenly cold career. The writing this season has been pretty damn good, despite some hiccups, and while the story stalled a bit early on (does anybody miss Dom?), they’ve set this up beautifully for a great final two episodes. Having Vince play Joey Ramone is a brilliant move, and doing it after he got booted from “Aquaman 2” and shutout of “Medellin” was even better. Maybe there’s an Oscar nod in Vince’s near future after all.
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