Year: 2006 (Page 74 of 228)

One for the money…two for the money…


Kevin admires his walking insurance policy

New details of Kevin Federline’s prenuptial agreement with Britney Spears have surfaced, and they shed a whole new light on Britney’s current pregnancy: Apparently, in the event of the unthinkable dissolution of this rock-solid marital union, Der Federstein will earn more in alimony for each child he fathers with Britney.

Well, no wonder she had to rush right back into her maternity clothes so soon after L’il Gangsta Spears Federline was born: Kevin has presumably been slipping fertility drugs into Britney’s Frappuccinos for months, the better to offset his low sperm count resulting from smoking all that weed. Kevin may be a talentless stoner hack of questionable fashion sense, but he’s not a STUPID talentless stoner hack.

We’re betting Britney pops out, oh, let’s say quadruplets come October…which will be a good thing for Kevin, because he’s going to need that money to cover his legal fees one of these days.

Fantasia Barrino Story to Air on Lifetime

THE FANTASIA BARRINO STORY: LIFE IS NOT A FAIRY TALE
SATURDAY, AUGUST 19th at 9pm ET/SUNDAY, AUGUST 20th at 8pm ETMONDAY, AUGUST 21st at 9pm ET

The PR notes say:
This Lifetime Original Movie is the inspiring story of 2004 American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino. At 16 years old Fantasia dropped out of school and had a child, but she refused to give up on her dreams. With her passion for life and her vocal talent, she beat the odds and rose to become a successful, Grammy-nominated recording artist. Fantasia will not only play herself in this true-to-life movie, but she will sing as well. Directed by Emmy and Golden Globe-winning director, Debbie Allen, this will be an unforgettable story of the courage to follow your dreams and never give up.

Art Vandalay says:
Okay, this has all the makings of a cheese fest, especially considering it’s a Lifetime movie. But keep in mind one thing…Fantasia can sing her ass off. So it’s worth checking out just for that if you’re a fan.
Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about the cheese.

Another one of my dream jobs taken by someone else…

Although it’s always sat squarely in the shadow of its competitor, Mad Magazine, many a disaffected (read, “nerdy”) teenager got plenty of laughs out of Cracked Magazine. Though it’s vanished from newstands on occasion over the years, the magazine has now returned…under the editorial eye of Michael Ian Black. You may know Black from “The State” and “Ed,” but, far more likely, you know him for having appeared as a talking head in virtually every VH-1 show EVERRRRRRR.

Michael Ian Black in his natural environment.

This is not the Cracked Magazine you grew up with, however. Instead of going after strictly a teenage demographic, they’re expanding their target audience up to age 34, adding interviews with folks like Trey Parker and Matt Stone, as well as articles by Mike Nelson (“MST3K”) and Kurt Metzger (“Chapelle’s Show”). It sounds like Spy Magazine, except you don’t have to be a complete douchebag to enjoy it.

A sample of the premiere issue of the magazine under its new regime can be enjoyed online by clicking the below image:

…but there’s also exclusive content available at CrackedMagazine.com, including a Frequently Asked Questions piece on “Snakes on a Plane” that theorizes how the film was greenlit.


Q: How did this movie ever get made?
A: We’d imagine the pitch for the movie went something like this:

Writer: “It’s a movie with Samuel L. Jackson…”

Studio Exec: “What’s it called? What’s it about?”

Writer: “Snakes on a Plane. Snakes on a Plane.”

Studio Exec: ”I like your moxie. Sold.” (Sprinkling millions of dollars onto table) “Now, who do I have to blow around here to get some coke injected into the tip of my cock?”

Surely Debbie Downer has something to say about this

Rachel Dratch’s role in NBC’s new Tina Fey sitcom, “30 Rock,” has been significantly downsized, according to a report from EW’s Popwatch. In the original pilot, Dratch played the star of “The Girly Show,” the sitcom’s show-within-a-show. Now, however, “The Girly Show” is called “Friday Night Bits,” and Dratch’s character is no longer the star. In fact, Dratch no longer has a character per se:

Instead, rather than play a singular actor on FNB, she will play multiple roles in the universe of 30 Rock. 30 Rock executive producer Lorne Michaels told Variety that in the series premiere, for example, Dratch plays a cat wrangler who provides animals for FNB. That character could recur on 30 Rock, but Dratch will also play different people who appear just once.

A sign of trouble for Tina’s pet project before it even airs…or a smart move by the show’s producers? Though too much tinkering with any pilot is often a bad sign, this move seems a wise one. Having seen the pilot, I can say with confidence that Dratch was its weakest element…and giving her the chance to play an infinite number of the offbeat characters at which she excels is a much better idea than allowing her to struggle in a role that never played to her strengths in the first place.

So, Dratch may be taking a hit to the ego in the short term, but in the long run both she and the show should be better off.

Now, please: Just promise us that Debbie Downer will never darken the doorways of “30 Rock.”

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