And I didn’t even get to see it! Wait, I didn’t even know it was a new show till I heard the news myself. So now you know, too…yes, “Happy Hour,” another FOX network show has met its demise. Didn’t take too long, either. One episode? Brilliant But Cancelled is running a contest with all the new shows for this season lined up on a deathwatch sort of thing. Place your bets on which show will be axed next! I’m thinking they have to put “Heroes” on there eventually.
Year: 2006 (Page 53 of 228)
“Guys and Balls”
The following conversation occurred when a press release for the new comedy appeared in my inbox:
“I’ll check this out. It could be funny.”
“For real?”
“Sure, I’ll give anything about soccer a chance… even if it’s about gay German soccer.”
Unfortunately, it’s not very funny, and there isn’t quite enough soccer to warrant anyone not from the LGBT community to give this a shot.
“8th and Ocean: The Complete First Season”
This may just be the dumbest show on television. Ten superficial models lay around their free apartments in Miami, Florida bitching about the following “problems”:
1. I’m too skinny
2. I have acne, and my twin sister doesn’t
3. I’m so good looking, I can have any girl I want
4. I can’t take off my bra during a shoot, or Jesus might find out
Boo-hoo. What can only be described as “The Real World: Laguna Beach” (in other words, it takes the worst parts of both shows – which is pretty much everything), “8th & Ocean” may be appealing to teenage girls curious about the modeling business, but any other self-respecting person would never tune in to this garbage.
“Windy City Heat”
Dubbed by many as one of the funniest movies ever made, this Comedy Central production about an elaborate prank on wannabe actor Perry Caravello is one of the absolute worst “comedies” that I’ve ever been forced to sit through. Do people really find an untalented, overweight schmuck screaming like a banshee for 90 minutes hilarious? That’s just sad. Very, very sad.
“Love For Rent”
Oh gawd, just what we didn’t need: another lost-in-translation love story about a poor Latin girl who falls for a rich American guy. Don’t watch this film. Instead, go rent “Love Actually” or “Spanglish.”
Out on DVD this week:
1) The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift – RENT: No one makes a more enjoyable popcorn flick than the import racing franchise. Plus, there are lots of hot Japanese girls to oogle at.
2) The Lake House – PASS: Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves fall in love… two years apart. How fascinating! Actually, no, not at all.
3) Curious George – RENT: Kids are going to love this full-length feature about the troublesome monkey, but adults may find it a bit too – what’s the word – childish.
Also out on DVD this week are a couple indies (“Down in the Valley,” “Notorious Bettie Page”), a few horror reissues (“A Nightmare on Elm Street,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) and new TV season sets of “The Batman,” “Teen Titans” and “One Tree Hill.”
I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but C-Note and Sucre found out where the gang was digging and crashed their little party. When C-Note met up with Sucre on the highway, he held up a map (from Westmoreland?), presumably leading to where the money was buried, but it’s not clear how that gets him past the problem of finding the Double K. I guess he and Sucre could have spotted Tweener as they were driving around, but how did they find the subdivision?
Anyway, Mahone is hot on the gang’s trail and he used some actual detective work to find out where they were headed. I liked the re-interview of the witness and his little math equation to figure out the radius of the circle in which Westmoreland’s money could be buried.
I actually felt kind of bad for T-Bag. The woman was really spreading it on thick and had to know that he’d be a bit pissed off about playing second fiddle to the “big guy.” But it looked like he kept his temper in check, at least until that cop arrived at the house. I’m not sure why the gang went through the elaborate ruse of convincing her to let them dig up her garage when they could have just tied her up like they did the storeowner. Of course, had they done that, there wouldn’t be a cop coming to the house, providing the necessary cliffhanger at the end of the episode.
I think Tweener could get quite the deal from Mahone right now. He really isn’t a dangerous criminal – after all, it was a baseball card that landed him in prison. He could tell Mahone where the gang is and maybe get immunity for his previous crimes. But it looks like Mahone wants to scare it out of him before backup arrives – I wonder if he’ll sing like he did in prison.
It’s good to see the Governor giving the heads up to Sara. Will they put the pinch on Agent Evil? I’m also curious to hear what else her father knows about him. AE seems to be having trouble dealing with his new lot in life, now that the VP is the President. Her assistant really seems to have a hard-on for AE.
And then there’s Haywire. There was no way that he was going to hurt that poor woman. I’m guessing his current mission is to get to Holland as soon as possible. Can you imagine how he’d react in Amsterdam? With all those people speaking Dutch or German, the miles of canals, the Red Light District…his head would explode.
Welcome to NBC’s live-action comic book…and say “hello” to the characters:
* Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventimigliai) is a home health-care worker for a dying man who dreams of jumping off a building and flying…but, more realistically, he dreams of dating the dying man’s daughter. Naturally, she’s already seeing someone. His brother, Nathan (Adrian Pasdar, formerly known as TV anti-hero Jim Profit), would just as soon Peter not bother him with either dream, given that he’s pursuing a political career. You can therefore imagine that Nathan’s even less excited about his mom getting arrested for shoplifting. He’s so annoyed at it all that he essentially tells Peter that if he thinks he can fly, then maybe he should jump…but when he does, it’s Nathan who suddenly flies up to save the plunging Peter. Unfortunately, the episode ends with Nathan losing his grip on his falling brother…
* Niki Sanders (Ali Larter) is a single mom in Las Vegas who pays the bills – including those of her genius son’s private school – by gettin’ nekkid on a webcam. She’s got this strange problem where her reflection seems to have a life of their own. She’s also got some tough folks are after her, thanks to her having borrowed money from the mob to keep her son in school. They’re taken care of in quick order, however, when the aforementioned reflection seems to come alive…and kill the mobsters. Or has she done it herself, and the actions of her reflection are less a power than a psychosis? Hmmmmm…
* Claire Bennett (Hayden Panettiere) is a high school cheerleader who’s developed a tremendous increased healing factor – a la Wolverine, if you want to make the comparison – and is constantly testing the limits of her abilities…but, that having been said, she’s also really, really freaked out by them, so you half suspect she’d be just as happy if her last words were, “Well, looks like we found my limit.” She tries to get the assistance of a longtime school chum to help her in gauging her abilities, but the chasm of popularity between them starts gets in the way…until she lunges headlong into a factory fire to save several firefighters. By episode’s end, she’s only sure of one thing: she’s gotta be adopted.
* Hiro Nakamura (Masi Oka) is officially my hero…and he’s gonna be the hero of every geek who watches the show. He’s well-versed in science fiction and superhero lore, and he’s downright giddy about his newfound ability to do some crazy shit with the space-time continuum, including stopping time and teleporting himself. First stop: the women’s bathroom. (Where else?) But when he clears his mind, stares blankly at an advertisement for New York City, and suddenly finds himself standing in Times Square, his reaction is so authentic that you’re almost as excited as he is!
* Isaac Mendez (Santiago Cabrera) is a junkie artist…one who just so happens to be dating the daughter of the dying guy that Peter’s nursemaiding…and he’s going nuts because he seems to have developed the ability to paint the future. She wants to help him, but he’s too busy freaking out…so much so that he intentionally O.D.’s after filling a canvas with the image of an apocalypse in New York.
* And, lastly, tying the whole bunch together is Mohinder Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy). A college professor in India, Mohinder believes in the human genome project and feels that mankind may well be standing on the threshold of recognizing the heights human potential…but, then, he got that from his father, who feels the same way. Make that “felt,” since Mohinder discovers that his father has died mysteriously. Concerned that Pops might well have been in possession of important scientific information, Mohinder goes to his father’s residence in India and finds that it’s in the process of being raided; after swiping some of his papers, he then flies to his father’s residence in New York City and finds that his father had been tracking something on a map. He also finds a tape, but we don’t get any scoop on what’s on it. It must be pretty important stuff, though, because Mohinder decides to stick around NYC, getting a job as a cab driver…and not long after doing so, a fellow hops into his car, knows who he is, and freaks Mohinder out enough to jump out of the cab and make a run for it.
What’s coolest so far is how it all ties together, not least of which because everyone witnesses the same eclipse. I mean, Isaac is watching the news and sees the report about the fire where Claire’s rescued the firefighter, Mohinder picks up Peter in his cab, and the fellow who scares Monhinder to death…? That’s Claire’s dad. The preview for upcoming weeks would seem to indicate that the bond between them all is even stronger than we’ve seen thus far.
Wow. One week in, and I already want to know how it ends.
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