How could she even care? Paris Hilton wants some diaries and naughty photos of herself back in her possession. They’re making the rounds, you know. 20 mil is being asked for them. 20 mil for some cheap slut’s hackneyed personal writing and dirty photos. Has it really come to this? She proves herself time and again to be close to the village idiot in IQ level, so you think she’d learn after a few times. Why are people even fascinated by her? She’s less deserving of attention than Milli Vanilli.
Year: 2006 (Page 206 of 228)
And this time it’s Al Lewis’ turn. Yep, Lewis who is most famous for his role as Grandpa Munster bit the dust at age 95. Damn, that’s a good, long life! He even had his own restaurant in Greenwich Village called Grandpa’s and also ran on the Green Party ticket not too long ago. That dude was so much more than Grandpa, I tell you. But now he’s gone. So long, Mr. Lewis. Your hair was really freaky.
Awww yeah. Looks like Heather Locklear is finally getting rid of Richie Sambora. I never understood what kept their marriage going for so long, but now I don’t have to wonder any more. What do you think my chances are of snagging her? Better or worse than getting a date with Jessica Alba? I’ll take either one. Gimme some lovin’, dammit!
With the notorious February 10th film weekend only a week away, we could only hope that there’s an excellent film just waiting to take our minds off this subject. Unfortunately, this weekend at the movies won’t be much different from the next, or the next, or the next, for that matter. This weekend brings only two new films in wide release, the urban comedy “Something New,” and a remake of the thriller “When A Stranger Calls.” Not exactly box office magic material.
Also out this week, but in limited release, is the teen horror flick “Tamara,” as well as two indie hits starring verteran actors: Tommy Lee Jones in “The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada” and Anthony Hopkins in “The World’s Fastest Indian.”
Okay, so the sixth edition of the “American Idol” preliminary auditions were last night from Austin, Texas…..and with next Tuesday’s Boston auditions being the last of the first round, the end of this madness is finally in sight. From then on we will only get to see those with serious musical talent (okay, maybe not all of them have talent) and how they scratch and claw their way to continue on.
Last night started with a ballet dancer dude named Julian….need I say more? Yes, I need to….dude did a split right there and left me wondering if he might have a vagina in there….I mean, how could that not hurt???
Some of the other highlights were Jason, the funeral director who was surprisingly good….Ricky, who claimed “this is what I was meant to do” and actually backed it up with a solid audition….16-year old William, who looked like Fred Savage or a young Paul O’Neill….and RJ, who claimed to be a ladies’ man and who they showed flirting with chicks like it was his job. Lucky for RJ he had a good voice, but chicks in Hollywood, lock your doors.
The lowlights…well, how many weird things can we see that they haven’t shown us before? Plenty.
This chick named Paula was actually a Paula Abdul worshipper but looked like a hippie chick with a mouthful of metal…and the braces clearly affected her singing though she wasn’t good anyway.
There was this girl Alison from North Carolina who told everyone about her plane ride there….the plane had a defect and almost crashed, changing her whole outlook on life. Unfortunately for her, the experience didn’t mysteriously give her a voice…she auditioned twice (because the judges spotted her nerves) but wasn’t good both times.
Ashley, who is a “fit model”…meaning she tries on clothes before they’re sold in stores to make sure they are the proper size (or something stupid like that)……she had a very mediocre voice but it was clear that Simon thought she was hot. “I like you, but not your voice,” he said. A 2-1 vote got her through, and my wife was bitter about it. This is clearly someone who wont’ last long in the competition and who clearly will get hit on by that RJ dude.
There was a Randy Jackson look-alike who curiously sang a Phil Collins song and sucked…..and finally there was Tessie….she was extremely overweight and had these two thin hair braids coming down her face and was stuffed into these pink pants. She was a horrible singer, and when she didn’t move on told the judges they were making a big mistake. Uh, okay. Simon got the last laugh though, making this hilarious reference: “Can I get one more potato in that sack?”
These auditions are making me tired….thankfully Hollywood starts next Wednesday….till then, see you in Boston
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