So now is when “American Idol” really starts to separate the real talent from the amateurs, and when America has the final say in who gets eliminated each week.
But first, a few random comments. The show is TWO hours long both Tuesday and Wednesday this week, with a third show on Thursday to announce the results. Last night, there was too much fluff…like these wannabe singers talking about how they got there and what the competition means to them blah blah blah…..just shut the hell up and sing! And speaking of fluff…..I am going to sound like a catty chick here, but what was up with Paula’s hair? It was sticking up in the front in such an annoying way, like maybe her rum and coke splattered up and made her hair all sticky. Anyway…..
So last night the 12 remaining females got to perform one song for America. Here were the best, in-between, and worst performances of the evening:
BEST
Nashville girl Mandisa got things started with “Never” by rockers Heart, and she did not disappoint. After Simon had previously made deragatory remarks about Mandisa’s weight, even he couldn’t deny her powerful vocal ability and predicted she would be a finalist. Hey, I’ve been saying that all along.
Paris Bennett sang Gladys Knight’s “Midnight Train to Georgia” and was awesome. She has the voice, the charisma, the whole package…and she’s only 17.
Lisa Tucker sang a Jennifer Holliday song and while it was pitchy in spots, she showed a maturity and ability beyond her 16 years…..I said SIXTEEN.
Katharine McPhee, the one who kissed all the judges on the lips when finding out she would move to the next round, did an old Barbara Streisand song and just blew everyone away. And for the record, she gets my vote as the cutest of the girl contestants.
IN BETWEEN
Among the mediocre, uninspiring performances were Becky O’Donohue, who sang Patti Smith’s “Because The Night”…and Simon hit the nail on the head by saying that the bar had been set by some really great singers already and that only great performances were going to matter. Becky was just boring……Ayla, the basketball player, was just uninspiring, but man, is she a giant…….Brenna, the big mouth Noo Yawka, was all over the place vocally and annoying as usual.
And then there were two contestants we’ve never seen, thanks to all the fluff this show has thrown at us….Melissa McGee and Kinnik. Kinnik was the better of the two, but Simon once again hit it on the head (Yes, Art Vandalay usually agrees with the judge everyone hates) by saying that at 28 years old, Kinnik would have to step it up to compete with the Lisa Tuckers and Paris Bennetts of the competition.
THE BAD
Finally, here are my three picks for who should get eliminated….
Kelly Pickler, the cute blonde who has been a feel-good story so far (you all know by now her dad is in jail)……well, she sang a Martina McBride song and was all over the place. Lucky for her, in Nashville they have a thing in studios called “auto tune” because some producer is probably foaming at the mouth to make her sound good once she gets eliminated….and that day will be soon.
Stevie Scott…..the one with the opera training, decided to sing a Josh Groban song, and to quote Randy Jackson, was “soft and non-emotional.” I’ll take it one further. She just sucked.
Finally, there was Heather Cox….she’s one that proved Mrs. Vandalay’s theory that if you’re hot, you got in this year….surely the judges were not listening to her sing these past few weeks. She’ll be getting back to her career as a stripper very soon.
So there you have it……tonight we have the guys performing….and with that, a question. If the guys constituted Randy Jackson’s dawg pound last night, will the girls be woofing it up tonight?
and finally I leave you with one more thought….remember the dude on “Seinfeld” who was trying out to play the role of Kramer and stole the box of raisins? Look closely at the guys tonight and let me know which one of them IS that dude. Have fun with that, and see you tomorrow.
Vandalay, OUT.
