Looks like Peter Segal, best known as the director of “Anger Management,” has signed on to direct the “Shazam!” movie for New Line.
Ah, yes, the Big Red Cheese. There’s a script floating around Hollywood for this flick that was written by William Goldman, the same guy who composed the brilliant “Princess Bride,” but studios have passed on that script in the past in favorite of a more wacky, comedic take. God willing, cooler heads will prevail and Goldman’s script will be the one filmed…
Did we really need the back story on these two? I mean, it’s not like they’re major players on the island, and I doubt they’ll ever provide any sort of assistance later down the road. Sure, Bernard made a half-assed attempt at making an SOS sign out of black rocks, but he didn’t even get through the first “S” before eventually throwing in the towel. They’re filler characters, and they should’ve stayed that way. Perhaps the only important element of the couple’s story was the revelation that the island indeed has special healing powers. The proof? Rose was in remission with cancer before leaving Australia, and now, she’s perfectly healthy. The same is true of Locke, who we know was restricted to a wheelchair before the plane crash. What we didn’t know, however, is that Rose met a wheelchair-bound Locke in the airport pre-flight. Why she hasn’t said anything until now is beyond me, but perhaps she doesn’t want to jinx her blessing.
Because the major storyline seemed to be revolving around Jack and Kate this week, I half-expected to see a continuation of one of their stories, but alas was disappointed. The two decide to journey back to “the line” this week, however, with the intention of trading Creepy Balloon Guy for Walt (who’s been missing for the entire second season), but Creepy Balloon Guy puts it simply: “They’ll never give you Walt.” This guy is bad, man. Lest us not forget the incredibly sinister smile that he shed towards the end of the episode when he realized that he had successfully pissed of Locke. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the leader of the Others. He’s certainly proved his cunning and willpower over the past week, and I wouldn’t doubt for a second that he’s got a few more aces up his sleeve.
The next episode (which airs after a two week break) looks to be one of the biggest hours of the entire second season – especially with the return of Michael prompting an all-out war on the Others. Will we finally see the survivors fight back? Can Locke remember all of the details of the blacklight map? Is Sun really carrying Jin’s baby? Or is all of this just a figment of Hurley’s imagination? Surely one of these questions will be answered before the end of the season, but it will most likely raise seventeen more.
Despite having concluded her well-documented, three-year “farewell” tour, aging plastic surgery addict Cher is in discussions with Caesars Palace to take over the Coliseum stage once Celine Dion concludes her lengthy run there. Cher will reportedly make $60 million in the deal.
Of course, if Caesars management is smart, they’ll start Cher’s run a day early, and put her on the stage with Dion without informing either one of them they’ll have to share the spotlight. Maybe snatch up Barbra Streisand as well. Throw these three on stage together unannounced, call it the Diva Trifecta Extravaganza, and let them jostle for position throughout the show. Babs would have the edge with her perfectly manicured, tiger-lady nails, but both Cher and Dion can throw a mean elbow, so the combatants would be fairly evenly matched.
Then, just as the trio has finally achieved equilibrium and begun singing the grand finale, “My Heart Would Go On If I Could Turn Back Time to the Way We Were,” management lets loose all of Sigfried & Roy’s white tigers onto the stage (hey, they’re not working; they need something to do) with zero supervision.
That would be the best Vegas show ever.
Let the great debate continue:
“’Family Guy’ isn’t funny.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Yes, it’s hilarious.”
“No, it’s just lazy, lowest-common-denominator hack work.”
“No it isn’t.”
“Yes it is.”
“No it isn’t.”
“Yes it is.”
“No it isn’t.”
“Look, this isn’t a debate, it’s just contradiction.”
“No it isn’t.”
“South Park” puts Stewie, Brian, testicle-chinned Peter Griffin and the whole “Family Guy” gang in its crosshairs on tonight’s episode. Can big-boned Eric Cartman defeat the world’s most devious infant?
Count on it.
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