Year: 2006 (Page 114 of 228)

So what’s it going to be: Spider-Man or Daredevil?

Does anyone else get to the end of an “Entourage” episode and think, “Damn, I wish this show was an hour long”? Tonight was all about the build-up to the much-anticipated “Aquaman” premiere. Vince asks his mom to be his date (“Aquamom, I love it,” Ari says), Eric’s going with Sloan (very happy she’s back), and Turtle and Drama pass out 50 tickets to 50 hot women, hoping to improve their odds of scoring. But when Mrs. Chase’s fear of flying forces her to cancel, E and Turtle rely on the powers of jealousy by inviting their own moms in for the event. That does the trick, and the boys roll to the premiere with their moms (and Sloan) on their arms. Unfortunately, when the credits roll we’re still standing on the red carpet, forced to wait a week to know whether the movie’s a hit or not. Damn. Why not an hour?

Of course, the smart money’s on “Aquaman” being a hugely successful summer blockbuster. After all, it’s not like Vinnie’s an established superstar in Hollywood whose career could survive a major flop, and without Vince bringing in the leading roles, Eric, Turtle and Drama are all out on the street. But the interesting thing here is, Ari is now more dependent on Vince than the boys are, especially since his wife’s trust fund is running low. Ari’s still afloat, working with a staff of nine in a West Hollywood office building, but things are damn tight. He tells his wife that “the seeds are planted” every time he asks for more money ($100k this week) and that Vince will be the first seed to bloom, but the fact is, Ari needs Vinnie to become the biggest star on the planet. If “Aquaman” bombs, Ari’s toast.

So it would seem the film has to hit big, for the sake of the story, but wouldn’t it be interesting if that weren’t the path the writers chose? The boys have been riding high for a couple of years now, so why not throw a roadblock up on Easy Street to create a little conflict? And as for Ari, it’s always darkest before the dawn, right? How would he recover from an “Aquaman” disaster, precisely at the moment that he needs a minor miracle? Plus, the gamble on “Queens Boulevard” paid off, so it would seem almost fitting that what looked like a sure thing – a summer superhero movie with James Cameron at the helm – actually flops.

But who am I kidding? “Entourage” is all about the lifestyle: the women, the fame and the fortune. That’s what makes it so damn fun. And spending half the season watching everyone dig out from the “Aquaman” rubble wouldn’t be much fun, would it? But it certainly would be a ballsy choice by the writers, and one that would no doubt create plenty of growth opportunities for just about everyone involved.

Most weeks, since Jeremy Piven‘s character is one of the best on TV today, I’ll point out some favorite Ari moments. Tonight, while catching flak from his wife for having to borrow more money, he said, “Trust me like you trust your daddy’s trust fund. I mean, you call them your personal savings but you haven’t saved shit personally.” And remember when Lloyd asked Ari to promise that he wouldn’t make fun of Lloyd’s race or his sexual orientation anymore, and Ari said, “I can’t promise that, but I can promise that I’ll always apologize afterwards”? Well, he already broke that one when, after complaining about some dust in his office and being reminded that the cleaning staff was on strike, Ari replied, “They strike, you work. You’re Asian; you’re supposed to be a neat freak.” You just knew he wasn’t going to keep that promise.

Box Office Roundup: It’s the only way to live

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Cars: $62.8 million (first week)
George Carlin plays a hippy dippy VW bug named Fillmore. Where do they come up with this stuff?
2) The Break-Up: $20.5 million ($74.1 million, second week)
Vince Vaughn says that whatever baby wants, baby gets. Baby wanted a good movie.
3) X-Men: The Last Stand: $15.6 million ($201.7 million, third week)
Well, if you’re going to kill a franchise, then perhaps hiring Brett Ratner to direct the last installment isn’t so terrible an idea.
4) The Omen: $15.5 million ($35.7 million, first week)
The Anti-Christ has eyes on the US Presidency? Depending on whom you ask, that either just happened or is currently happening.
5) Over the Hedge: $10.3 million ($130.3 million, fourth week)
Remember, when that Doberman down the street comes charging at you with slobber a-fling, what it’s really thinking is “Play,” not “Disembowel.”
Skipping 6) and 7)…
8) Mission: Impossible III: $3 million ($127.5 million, sixth week)
Get your resumes ready, Paramount staffers. The bloodletting begins now.

Deadwood premieres tonight on HBO – critics clamor for more episodes

Mark Dawidziak joins the chorus of critics arguing that “Deadwood” should be extended by HBO beyond this third a final season:

Let me be the 127th television critic in the country to say, “What in the name of Al Swearengen is HBO thinking?” Memo to HBO executives: “Deadwood” isn’t one of your best programs. It is your best program. Has their thinking become as clear as the mud that covers the streets of Deadwood?

I would have expressed this sentiment earlier, but, until now, I couldn’t find a way of saying it without sounding suspiciously like Ian McShane’s magnificently profane and aptly named Swearengen.

He’s right of course. “Deadwood” is fantastic, and Ian McShane’s Al Swearengen might be the best character on television (along with Ari from “Entourage”). If HBO doesn’t come to its senses and add more seasons, I hope the producers keep Swearengen alive at the end of the series. He could carry some feature films after the series finishes its run.

Go ahead, Sam, tell us what you REALLY think.

Samuel L. Jackson used his MTV Movie Awards appearance to present the award for Best Movie and got the maximum amount of promotion for his OWN new movie out of it.

Here’s the link, so you can see it for yourself, but in case MTV decides to yank it, here’s the transcript, word for motherfuckin’ word:

“I’m here tonight to present the award everyone’s been waiting for: Best Movie. Now, this award holds a special place in my heart, because next year, I’ll be winning it…for ‘Snakes On A Plane.’ Now, I know, I know that sounds cocky, but I don’t give a damn. I am guaranteeing that ‘Snakes On A Plane’ will win Best Movie next year. Does not matter what else is coming out. The new James Bond…? No snakes in that! ‘Oceans Thirteen’? Where the snakes at?!? ‘Shrek the Third’? Green…but not a snake! No movie shall triumph over ‘Snakes On A Plane’…UNLESS I happen to feel like making a movie called ‘More Motherfucking Snakes On More Motherfucking Planes’! Here are your nominees for Best Movie…”

DAMN, I love Sam Jackson…

Rapid Fire Rejects, Volume VI

Doogal
This animated film based on the popular children’s novel is the biggest waste of time you’ll ever come across on DVD, and while it boasts a respectable voice cast led by Jon Stewart as the evil wizard Zeebad, I wouldn’t wish this garbage on even the most infantile of viewers. Case in point: my DVD player has never experienced a shorter spin.

Dirty Dozen: Double Feature
You won’t find the classic original film anywhere on this two-disc set, but rather the second (“The Deadly Mission”) and third (“The Fatal Mission”) made-for-TV sequels starring Telly Savalas. I could go on and on about how bad these movies really are, but if you’ve ever seen the first sequel (“The Next Mission”), then you know exactly what to expect.

Aquamarine
The “Splash”-esque teen comedy gets worse the longer you watch it, and you could even color yourself heroic for doing so. I actually managed to sit through the first twenty minutes before finally turning it off. The reason? Bad acting and a ruthless script filled with lines like “you scared the salt out of me.” Oh, and I was finished with dinner, too.

Room 6
Hollywood orphans Christine Taylor and Jerry O’Connell star in this shoddy direct-to-DVD horror flick about a haunted hospital and its staff of vampire lesbian nurses. The film gets more ridiculous with each passing minute, and though the opening sequence could be considered at least a little creepy, the ending is like a stroll through your local haunted house.

Candy Stripers
Small town invaded by aliens. Aliens possess sexy candy stripers. Candy stripers hunt men to use for breeding. Dopey guy saves the day. The end.

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