Month: March 2006 (Page 5 of 23)

“Die Hard”…as a silent movie?

Thank you, once again, YouTube, for this.

“It’s Christmas, 1924, and young Manhattanite John McClane visits olde Los Angeles towne to see his wife and enjoy yultide splendor. However, a few ne’er-do-wells have plans of their own, and C4.”

If you laughed at things like “Steamboat Itchy” or any other silent movie parodies from “The Simpsons,” “Futurama,” or “Family Guy,” you’ll be rolling at this just as much as I was…

Box Office Roundup: This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco…this ain’t no bank robbery!

Based on Sunday’s estimates:

1) Inside Man: $28.9 million (first week)
We are totally buying a copy of “Kill Dat Nigga” the second it hits the shelves.
2) V for Vendetta: $12.3 million ($46.1 million, second week)
The revolution is coming…to a discount theater near you.
3) Stay Alive: $11.2 million (first week)
A video game that kills its players…written by Tipper Gore.
4) Failure to Launch: $10.8 million ($63.8 million, third week)
Don’t know about anyone else, but if Terry Bradshaw’s my dad, I’m getting the hell out the house as soon as possible.
5) The Shaggy Dog: $9.1 million ($47.9 million, third week)
Hard to believe that “Galaxy Quest” and “Toy Story 2,” his last two good movies, were from the last century.

Proof that there is a god: “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector” finished seventh with $7 million. We can already see the drinking game that is created for this movie: any time there’s a fart joke, you know what to do.

What in the hell do you make of this?

This just arrived in my mailbox:

Hi all,

We are interested in purchasing vintage electric guitars in any price range. Specifically Fender Strat’s and Gibson Les Paul’s, but we will listen to any vintage you may offer.

Please contact me directly at:
http://www.stevenseagal.com/contact/guitar.shtml

Sincerely,

StevenSeagal.com

No, seriously, what the hell DO you make of this…?

Cleveland: It’s the new New York

In the latest example of studio penny-pinching, exterior scenes for the latest “Spiderman” sequel, which is set in New York as usual, will be shot in the thriving metropolis of…Cleveland, Ohio. Digital imagery will be used to Biggie-Size downtown Cleveland’s somewhat-smaller-than-Manhattan-style skyscrapers in order to fool everyone who has been to neither New York nor Cleveland into believing that Spidey and the gang are still shaking things up in the Big Apple.

No word yet on whether villains Venom (Topher Grace) and Sandman (Thomas Haden Church) will put on an evil death metal concert spectacular at the “New York” Rock & Roll Hall of Fame for the film’s big finale.

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