Yes, well, I got around to renting The Exorcism of Emily Rose from Netflix and watched it last night. What can I say? Not scary at all, but a decent amount of suspense, I suppose. It was certainly better than that horrid turd The Skeleton Key, which was neither scary nor suspenseful and yet another fine example of Kate Hudson wasting any remaining talent on pure crap.
Anyway, I noticed I had rented the “unrated” version of this flick and couldn’t figure out what the hell could have been in it that made it an unrated cut. It’s a pretty tame horror flick by any standards, and the special effects are pretty much all dished out in one minute of the movie. If you ever saw the trailer, you pretty much saw the “scary” parts and all their effects, in other words. My problem with the scares was that they relied too much on slamming doors and quick jump cuts to something loud that wasn’t scary. Cheap seat jumpers.
But the damn thing ran too long at 119 minutes, and being “based on” a true story, I could only feel that once again some serious shit used to go down in the ’70s (1976 was when the actual tale the film is based on took place). We need fresh exorcism stories, people. Fresh scares. Enough with mining old crap and rehashing even more of it into new remakes. The original Amityville Horror was lame enough. A new version wasn’t needed. I didn’t waste me time on that, thankfully.
I do think it would be good, however, if a really gory flick came out that wasn’t made by Rob Zombie that featured a soundtrack by Christopher Cross. Could you imagine how rockin’ that would be? Someone getting an axe to the chest and Cross bleating out a love song. Someone get the studios on the phone.
