 Ever since Fox announced they would be pushing back the seventh season premiere of “24” to 2009, the network has been hard at work keeping fans with their fingers on the Jack Bauer dial. That’s included a new season of their web series “The Rookie,” a news announcement revealing plans to produce a two-hour prequel movie, as well as the upcoming re-release of the drama’s explosive first season on DVD.
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Packaged in an über-cool metal tin case with what looks to be a countdown clock imbedded underneath, the seven-disc set includes three hours of never-before-seen features including a season seven preview, over 25 deleted and extended scenes, two behind-the-scenes featurettes and more. This is the perfect chance to relive the series’ hit-making first season, and with Bullz-Eye running a contest in conjunction with its May 20th release, you could even pick up a copy for a free. Head on over to Bullz-Eye now and
NBC may not be King of the Nielsen Ratings just yet, but we know good television when we see it, and the Peacock has returned in full force with a dominating presence that includes the top three shows and five of the top six. HBO, on the other hand, is experiencing the opposite, with the departure of “The Sopranos,” “Deadwood” and “Rome.” Add to that the fact that our list features a whopping 10 new entries — five of which are freshmen — and you’ve got one heck of a Power Rankings shakeup. Much of this has to do with so many shows being on hiatus until next year, but whatever the cause, it’s nice to see some much-needed change to a usually familiar lineup. And, hey, don’t miss the list of our favorite shows which are currently on hiatus (and are therefore ineligible for the Top-20), our farewell to “The Sopranos,” and our stable of Honorable Mentions. Check out the list here, then come back and let us know how we did…or if we missed any of your favorites! Filed under: TV and Actors and Actresses and News and Reviews and TV Comedies and TV Dramas and TV Action and Rome and Lost and South Park and Prison Break and The Office and 24 and The Shield and The Sopranos and Rescue Me and Deadwood and External Entertainment and External TV and The Wire and Heroes and Jericho and Battlestar Galactica and TV Sci-Fi and Reaper and Journeyman and Friday Night Lights Comments: 2 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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…Fox has decided to pull “24″ from their schedule until the writer’s strike has concluded and the show’s remaining still-unfilmed episodes can be completed. Okay, maybe that’s a good thing for fans of the show. Fair enough. What I find most interesting about Fox’s revised January schedule, however, is that they have so much faith in the new Parker Posey sitcom that they’ve buried it on Friday nights and teamed it with re-runs of “‘Til Death.” Wow. That good, huh? I didn’t love the pilot, but, still, I was keeping my hopes up because it’s coming from the Paladino camp, a.k.a. the home of “Gilmore Girls.” Now, though, I’m starting to get worried… Filed under: TV and News and TV Comedies and TV Dramas and TV Action and 24 and External Entertainment and External TV Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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As you’ve probably determined over the course of the past week or two, I’ve had a lot of close encounters with a lot of different folks thanks to this TCA press tour, but certainly one of the most high-profile of the bunch would have to be the one tonight with Keifer Sutherland. Sutherland made an appearance at Fox’s all-star party at the Santa Monica Pier, and although he pointedly hovered by himself in a corner for several minutes after his arrival, he was, thankfully, gracious enough to make himself available for a brief press scrum… As far as the new season goes, Sutherland admits, “We’re still really working on it. We tend to do shows…well, map out ideas…eight episodes at a time. I don’t know if that’s a conscious effort or if it just happens that way, and we really are…and I say “we” kind of very generously…Howard (Gordon) and Joel (Surnow) and Bob (Cochran) have really been focused on making those eight records right. I know, because someone else said it to me, that you all know about the female president. I think one of the things that the show’s always done, even though Jack Bauer is a real apolitical character, they’ve had a really interest comment on American politics through the different Presidents, and I certainly think this is going to be a very strong one, so that’s something to expect.” The relationship between Jack and the new President is, as far as Sutherland can speak to at the moment, relatively nonexistent. “They don’t start off…she’s not on his radar at all. Jack is starting from a very, very different place this season. You know, at the very end of Season 6, he was abandoning this as a life, and so we kick off and see not so much that it keeps drawing him back in a context that he wants to pursue anti-terrorist work but that certain things that he has done over the years that start to come back to get him. So that’s really where he starts off in the season: he’d like to let it all go, but he can’t. And then how the President and Jack Bauer will cross paths at some point in that day, I honestly can’t tell you. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just couldn’t! The first four episodes that they write…and last year, I thought that the first four episodes of Season 6 were really four of the best episodes we’ve ever made…but (those first four episodes) inform the rest of that day. They’re also very aware that they’re seen over two nights, back to back. So they’ve all got a different context, these four episodes, than the rest of the twenty, and they have to really write and cater to those for that reason. They have to be right. We’ve been known to go to the absolute wire, and this year will be no different. But (those episodes) will also open up everything you get to do for the next twenty episodes, or it’ll shut you down, and we have learned that…and again I say “we”!…they have learned over the last six years, and every year is an effort to make fewer mistakes. Every year’s got them, we run into bumps all the time, that is the cost of trying to do something different or new. And each year, we start the season off a little slower, trying to avoid as many bumps as we can before we start.” Sutherland says the new season will take place mere months after the previous season finale, and that it will start in the morning again, although he admits that “that’s as much a production issue as anything else. We shoot in the summer when it’s daytime and we get longer days, and we shoot night scenes in the winter when we have longer nights.” Hey, wait a minute: if it’s only a few months, then how is there already a new President? “That’s a great question,” he acknowledges. “In all fairness, they haven’t put an absolute time down.” Sutherland is only vaguely apologetic when it comes to discussing the backlash against the show from the fans and critics after the previous season. “I felt the same about last year as I did every year,” he shrugs. “Every year, there are moments that are better than we had ever expected, and there are moments that are disappointing for us. I read a lot of the criticisms, and some of them I agreed wholeheartedly with, and some of them I did not. Again, I thought the first four episodes of last year were four of the best episodes we’ve ever done, and I felt the same way about the last four, and there are moments in-between where we settled. I think that the writers…and I don’t want to speak too much for them…but I think they had a hard time getting my storyline going without my doing a whole lot of stuff that I’d already done. So, y’know, last year was a huge learning experience for us…but, again, it doesn’t feel any different to me than any other year. I mean, all the way back to the first year, there’s stuff where all of us go, ‘What were we thinking?’ But we have done well, and we have been given so much incredible support by all of you, but you have to have your shot (at us) at some point, and last year was as good as any. And we certainly hear you. We’re always looking over our shoulder a bit! But, y’know, it is what it is. Our job stays the same. We try to do the best we can, but it’s such a complicated format to write for, with the real-time aspect, and every year, there will be struggles.” In closing, don’t hold your breath waiting on that long-rumored “24″ movie showing up anytime soon, though. “We are so focused on the show right now that I couldn’t imagine that any of the writers have even thought about that,” says Sutherland. “I think we’ve collectively agreed that that will be the first thing that we’ll do after we finish the show.” Filed under: TV and Actors and News and Gossip and TV Dramas and TV Action and 24 and External Entertainment Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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A couple titles for this blog went through my head. The runners-up:
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…but let’s get the bad news out of the way first: we asked Peter Liguori, Fox’s President of Entertainment, point blank as to whether the show might yet be saved if it somehow sets ratings records when its last two episodes air on July 4th. His response: “As near and dear to my heart as that show is, I would say that that’s definitely a long shot.” Ah, well. Not that anyone expected it would play out any differently, I’m sure, but it would’ve been nice if he’d gone out on a limb and, “By God, if that thing scores such-and-such a rating, then we sure WILL pick it back up!” But no such luck. So, okay, now that we’re pretty sure about what isn’t going to be on Fox’s 2007 - 2008 fall schedule, let’s take a look at what will…but be forewarned about one thing: Fox is playing the game of having one schedule in the fall and one schedule in the spring. Not that that’s anything new, but it does show a certain amount of foresight to be willing to lay out their strategy this early. MONDAY The fall starts out with “Prison Break” in the 8 PM timeslot, followed by a new drama, “K-Ville,” which is already destined to create a stir because of its setting. K-VILLE: From writer and executive producer Jonathan Lisco (“NYPD Blue,” “The District”) comes a heroic police drama set in New Orleans. Two years after Katrina, the city is still in chaos. Many cops have quit, and the jails, police stations and crime labs still haven’t been properly rebuilt. But the cops who remain have courage to burn and a passion to reclaim and rebuild their city. MARLIN BOULET (Anthony Anderson, “The Departed,” “The Shield”) is a brash, funny, in-your-face veteran of the NOPD’s Felony Action Squad, the specialized unit that targets the most-wanted criminals. Even when his partner deserted him during the storm, Boulet held his post, spending days in the water saving lives and keeping order. Now he’s unapologetic about bending the rules when it comes to collaring bad guys. Boulet’s new partner, TREVOR COBB (Cole Hauser, “The Break-Up,” “ER”), was a soldier in Afghanistan before joining the NOPD. He’s tough and committed, but if he’s less than comfortable with Boulet’s methods, it’s because he’s harboring a dark secret. Cobb has come to New Orleans seeking redemption, but redemption can be dangerous. Will Boulet be able to trust him? Will Cobb’s past endanger them both? Rounding out the crew of cops are hotheaded BILLY “K-9” FAUST (Maximiliano Hernández, “Law & Order,” “Shark”), who often speaks before thinking; wisecracking JEFF “GLUE BOY” GOODEN (Blake Shields, “Sleeper Cell,” “Veronica Mars”), the team’s comic relief; tough-as-nails GINGER “LOVE TAP” LeBEAU (Tawny Cypress, “Heroes”), the only female on the squad, who gives as good as she gets; and CAPTAIN JAMES EMBRY (John Carroll Lynch, “Zodiac,” “The Drew Carey Show”), who wrangles the eclectic personalities of his squad with equal parts humor and tenacity. EXECUTIVE PRODUCER/WRITER: Jonathan Lisco Come January, “K-Ville” will apparently move to the 8 PM timeslot, and, upon its completion, “Prison Break” will return to that timeslot while “24″ reclaims the 9 PM slot. Oh, and check this out: another writer on the teleconference basically called Fox out on how crap “24″ has been this season and wanted to know if things were gonna change next year. Having been put on the spot, Mr. Liguori responded thusly: “We’ve heard what the show’s loyal audience has said to us, and I’ll tell you that it’s really fuelled the show runners to be more daring with what they do next year. I’ve always likened ‘24’ to a James Bond movie – every one offers a different vision, different villains, a different love interest – and I have every confidence that Joel (Surnow), Bob (Cochran), and Howard (Gordon) will come back with a daring and loquacious swing at the plate with the next season of ’24,’ and I’m looking forward to next year.” Nice comeback. We’ll see if his confidence turns out to be warranted… Filed under: TV and Actors and Actresses and News and Interviews and TV Comedies and TV Dramas and TV Action and Prison Break and 24 and American Idol and External Entertainment and External TV Comments: 1 Comment Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Talk about art imitating blog. Last week, after trying to sift through the ashes of the most needlessly circuitous plot in TV history, I said, “None of this makes sense.” Tonight, as Senator Roark is processing the seriousness of Russian PresidenKABxRDNdRdoohoYS+AAoAn8sBUSVck the Americans for willingly allowing Russian technology to fall into the hands of the Russians, Roark said, yep, “None of this makes sense.”
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All right, let me see if I have this straight. Farmer Hoggett, the father of a Federal agent, sold suitcase nukes to a former Russian general, who in turn teamed up with an Islamic terrorist group that had the resources to execute a massive strike that would take down several highly populated U.S. cities. Those terrorists, before they even revealed that they had nuclear capabilities, demanded the delivery of Jack Bauer, currently imprisoned by the Chinese government, for the purpose of killing him as a vendetta for various crimes against the Islamic terrorist cause. Jack, luckily, is not killed, and assists CTU in recovering the remaining suitcase nukes. Enter the Chinese, who extort Jack into stealing the components of one of the nukes, using former squeeze Audrey Raines – assumed dead by the Western world – as bait. Jack complies, even though it means serious jail time if not the death penalty. The Chinese now have Russian nuclear technology, and for that they have to thank…Farmer Hoggett, who has apparently been working with them from the very beginning.
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I am not proud of the fact that I have an uncanny ability to tell when a woman is repulsed by the thought of being touched by a certain man. Maybe it’s the result of some repressed memory of a humiliating experience in high school, I couldn’t tell you. The memory, if it exists, is suppressed, remember? But the instinct is not. I know fake emotion when I see it. And you, Lisa Miller, couldn’t fool me on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine. As an aside, I both love and hate the fact that Roark’s concubine is named Lisa Miller. I’m tempted to adorn her with the nickname of Maura Tierney, in honor of the original Lisa Miller, but I’m already confusing people with the Senator Roark business, so I suppose I will call her by her (stolen) name. Still, this Lisa Miller will always be Maura Tierney to me. Only not as pretty. Man oh man, did the Chinese rewire Audrey something fierce. Over a hundred injection marks? That would explain the bulky clothing she wore to the exchange; had she looked like a heroin junkie at the drop, Jack probably would have flicked the switch on the C4 in an attempt to save her honor. Instead, Audrey lives long enough to teach Nadia a valuable lesson on the importance of doing what’s right versus doing what the rulebook requires. Jack and the Ricker, they’re peas in a pod, they are. William Devane doesn’t get a tremendous amount of work, but I just love his low-key intensity in situations where a lesser actor would take things way over the top. “You’re cursed,” he tells Jack right after he’s ordered her to stay the hell away from his daughter. And you could tell that, in the way that he didn’t argue the point, Jack believed what Big Dick Heller said to be true. After all, look at the lives of any female who has dared to get close to him. Death, torture, bear trap, child out of wedlock, that’s what the Women of Jack receive for their troubles. (Yes, that last one is still unconfirmed, but come on, we all know that Jack Jack is not Graem’s kid.) So “Lisa Miller” is put in play to snare the lobbyist. Was it just me, or was the thread connecting Lisa as the leak a tenuous one at best? Sure, you’ve got her dead to rights as a philanderer, but I don’t recall them unveiling any hard evidence that she told the lobbyist anything. Did he get it off of her email? Not even Roark was sure of that. Well, if you guys aren’t sure of your intel, then how are we supposed to buy into it? And speaking of stuff we’re supposed to buy, we still do not know what Wheelbarrow Wayne gave the Chinese in order for them to give up Jack. We still don’t know what’s up with former President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk. And we still don’t know how Farmer Hoggett connects the dots between President BBB and Jack. Are they saving all those plot points for the “24” movie? Will there even be a “24” movie now that “South Park” has torn them a new one? Why don’t they just make another “South Park” movie? That’s what I really want to see. “Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fuckaaaaaaa…” Filed under: TV and Actors and Actresses and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 15 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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So let’s take a look at what has happened to CTU in the last 60 minutes: - Director Bill Buchanan, the lone sane man in a sea of crazy, was fired by Karen Hayes, his wife, for releasing Fayed two years ago for lack of evidence. That’s right, he was fired for following procedure and not obtaining a then-innocent man. Holy “Minority Report,” Batman. That’s some bad hat, Harry. As much as I didn’t like seeing Cheng get away with the chip – if you were shocked by the outcome, congratulations, you haven’t watched as much TV as the rest of us – I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Cheng’s men launch a bazooka at that CTU helicopter. The gloves are off again, or as they said in one memorable “South Park” episode, it’s on. China just attacked the United States’ Counter-Intelligence Unit. Is there any way that China can spin this in such a way that they’re the victim? Don’t think so. Hit ‘em with everything you’ve got. Nice to see the show sport some onions. And for the second week, I saw Senator Roark’s assistant/concubine wince at the thought of getting physical with him. Sure, she kissed him and said she’d get a change of clothes, but that woman’s body language is saying something compleeeeeeeetely different. She’s saying, “Damn it, I was kissing William Fichtner on the set of ‘Invasion’ a few months ago! Now I’m kissing…this? He damn well better make me the new First Lady.” And the funny thing is, she’d still be a distant second in the list of blindly ambitious First Ladies, but that’s a topic for another blog altogether. And speaking of First Ladies, I just realized: Wheelbarrow Wayne doesn’t have one, either. Or if he did, where is she? Is that even allowed? Was there speculation about his preferences during his campaign due to the Seinfeldian trifecta of Palmer being thin, neat and single? And lastly, there’s Audrey, or what’s left of her, anyway. Her babbling towards the end of the episode sounded like Tara after the demigod Glory scrambled her brain in Season Five of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” I have to say, I didn’t see that coming. When I saw her walk in with the bulky coat, I immediately thought, “She’s strapped with C-4, too,” and that Cheng was going to blow Jack sky high after he was safely out of range. Since that didn’t happen, well, I’m at a loss for how they resolve that plot thread in a way that ends with me giving a damn. Could we get JJ Abrams to take over as show runner for a season? Screw the final frontier, JJ: we need you here and now! Filed under: TV and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 7 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Scout’s honor: from the moment that Wheelbarrow Wayne said that he was getting out of the bunker to give his press conference, I said out loud, “Oh good, that way you can die on national television.” Come on, you all saw this coming, right? He had all of his ducks in a row. The suitcase nukes were secured, and Senator Roark was planning to resign. As a favor to Jack – and frankly, Wayne did owe Jack, since Jack agreed to be Wayne’s martyr a mere 17 hours earlier – he agreed to a zany plan to extract Audrey Raines from the clutches of the Chinese that involved potentially handing over Russian missile technology to the Chinese. There is no way in hell that the leader of any country agrees to this, of course, but dammit, we have six hours to kill. Like I said, it was all in the cards. Wayne had to take a fall. And Roark didn’t waste any time swinging his dick around, smacking Karen Hayes on the forehead with it the first chance he got. Big surprise, that, though I did get a big laugh out of his assistant’s reaction when he said, before the President collapsed and Roark was planning on resigning, “At least we’ll have more time to spend together.” She seemed completely repulsed by the idea. That better come into play before season’s end. The entire time that Jack was making his Draconian deal with the Chinese, I’m thinking, “Tell Buchanan.” Not because I thought that CTU would go along with it, but because I have grown tired of Jack always having to double-deal. When Morris forced Chloe’s hand, I was actually pleased. And when Palmer went down, I knew that the first thing Roark would do was repeal that order. Hell, I would have done the same thing in his shoes. I’m sorry, you want to give the Chinese what, exactly? Um, no. Sorry dude, tough break for your girlfriend. Pity her other TV show was canceled, or she wouldn’t be in this position. So Jack has gone rogue, whatever the hell that means anymore. Roark has assumed the presidency for the foreseeable future, and I’m guessing his first Presidential act will be to have the Biscuit drawn and quartered on the White House lawn. Chloe has been taken out of the loop as Jack’s lifeline…oh, hell, I’ve already gotten bogged down in more minutiae than the writers have. But if the writers must remember one thing, it’s that we still haven’t forgotten that they have yet to reveal what Wayne had to do to get Jack out of prison in the first place. We won’t suffer flogging as well as Karen Hayes does. In fact, I’m pretty sure the Neilsen numbers already reflect that. Filed under: TV and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 9 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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In the space of about two minutes, Jack Bauer dropped a guy with a sharp jab to the back of his knees, and then broke his neck. He then shot and killed about five or six hostiles, all of whom were much better armed than he was. Lastly, he fought hand to hand with Abu Fayed in a slugfest that involved a pipe to the forearm, stabbing, biting off flesh, a headbutt, and ultimately with Jack hanging Fayed with a chain, a la John McClane in “Die Hard.” “Say hello to your brother,” Jack said, which, curiously enough, is something McClane said in “Die Hard with a Vengeance.” So will someone please explain to me exactly how Jack lost to Indiana Jones in our Badass Bracket? It seemed like a slam dunk to us that Bauer would lay Junior Jones to waste. Not only that, Jack beds way more women. It just don’t add up, I tells ya! But what do we know: McClane is now facing off against Indiana in the Elite Eight, and Jones is beating him too, though by a very slim margin. Speaking of Fayed’s death scene, I was just waiting for an acting coach to walk on the set, pull a closed fist to his chest and say, “Aaaaaand, scene.” The whole thing seemed rather abrupt. Wait a minute: did I just see the season finale seven episodes early? What the hell is going on here? And then it hit me: the show’s producers realized that they were just as bored with this whole suitcase nuke thing as we are, so they (quickly, rudely) shifted gears. Now that Jack has the nukes, he must turn them over to the Chinese, or they will kill…the heretofore deceased Audrey Raines. Come on, you knew she wasn’t dead. Her other show was canceled! Of course she’s alive! But more on that in a second: let’s get to the action in the White House. I’m anointing Wayne Palmer the new nickname of Wheelbarrow Wayne, since he clearly needs a wheelbarrow to carry those elephantine onions of his. He’s playing nuclear chicken with a country known for harboring terrorists? Are you kidding me? We all shook our heads last week at how the dove turned into a vulture, but give them credit: that was easily the ballsiest thing Wheelbarrow Wayne has ever done. It’s like the kill-‘em-all philosophy of Senator Roark, only clever. It was a nice touch. Pity that he’ll probably wind up in a coma within 10 minutes of asking Senator Roark to resign. As for the CTU melodrama, quoth Phil Collins, I don’t care anymore. Milo gets jealous about a comment Nadia makes towards the Ricker. Morris intervenes. Chloe is marginalized more than ever. Yawn. If I’m Mary Lynn Rajskub, I start looking for a way to get my character in the field and “tragically killed.” Seeing Chloe like this is like watching a relative spend years on life support. She deserves better. So, back to the Chinese. Little good can come of this, of course. On the plus side, maybe – maybe – we’ll finally find out what kind of deal Palmer struck with the Chinese in order to secure Jack Bauer’s release. Then again, maybe there was no deal to be struck. Maybe the Chinese were playing both Miss Gredenko and Fayed against each other in order to put the Number One Super Spy in play so that he can inadvertently secure the nukes on their behalf. No, that can’t be right: Wheelbarrow Wayne said early on that he paid a high price to have Jack freed. What was it, dammit? Speaking of dammits, tonight’s episode had the funniest ‘dammit’ ever, as Jack is trying to talk to CTU from the bottom of a sanitation truck. Couldn’t he have just sent them a text message once he realized they couldn’t hear him? Heck, I was watching the Cubs home opener today, which a friend of mine was attending, and when I wanted to tell him something, I didn’t even bother calling him: I just sent him a text message. He, of course, called me back, and I couldn’t understand a damn thing he said. And once again, we STILL don’t know what’s up with Farmer Hoggett, President Buck buck Brawwwwk, Heidi Petrelli, and Jack Jack. Is there some dangerous liaison between Hoggett, Logan, and the Chinese? Do the producers of “24” know that their precious little moneymaker is running out of gas? Will the movie be finished in time for anyone to care? It’s like watching “Lost”: you may have lost of questions, but good luck getting them answered. Filed under: TV and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 10 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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…and I couldn’t have picked a better time. Seriously, who knew that doves, when injected with adrenaline, turned into ravenous, psychotic vultures? Other questions that sprang to mind: - How many lines did Chloe have this week? - Why would Miss Gredenko agree to have his own forearm cut off in order to help Fayed escape, only to rat out Fayed’s identity in a bar, then fall to his (supposed) death underneath the pier? As escape plans go, that one, as they say in “Meet the Robinsons,” was not well thought out. - How many more hours before Senator Roark squashes the Biscuit like a bug? - Where the hell are President Buck Buck Brawwwwk and Farmer Hoggett? And lastly… - Is there any way they can save this season? I’m not saying the show is over — they’ve endured worse story lines than this — but they’re going to need a really special ending (I’m still hoping for a videotape of David Palmer explaining how Wayne isn’t half the innocent he’s perceived to be) in order to wow us. I now open the floor to you, good readers. Discuss. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play with my son. See you next week.
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Stupid TiVo. I usually plop in front of the TV around 20 minutes into each episode so we can skip the commercials, and as we did it tonight, we noticed that the record light was not on. The DVR thought it was recording the show, only…it wasn’t. “This show is not currently available,” it said. Nor will it ever be. If I were Jack, this is the moment where I’d say “Dammit,” and then torture the dog down the street. The first thing I see is Jack talking with Brady, who has some kind of learning disability. He’s supposed to give a flash drive to Gredenko in the place of his injured turncoat brother, who’s now helping CTU. Lord have mercy, how many times have they sent newbies to do drops with the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted? For a second, I thought they were going to have Brady suffer an accidental death, but then I realized: they can’t kill the mentally challenged kid. That’s bad karma. Torturing the shit out of Arabs, that’s cool. But you can’t cap the slow guy. They then cut to the brouhaha over the wrongfully imprisoned Nadia, whose PC was being accessed by remote, therefore absolving her of any wrongdoing. Everyone apologizes to Nadia, Milo shares a painfully awkward and forceful kiss with her, and then everyone gives Nadia her space… …and Nadia’s about to make them pay for it. Capitalizing on the white guilt they all feel for doubting her, Nadia is in the perfect position to begin the sinister second phase of her infiltration for Fayed. No one would dare question her motives now, for fear of being branded a racist. Even better, she can manipulate Milo nine ways to Sunday for “doubting” her, even when he was absolutely right in the first place and had no idea. Oh man, is this sweet. For the record, I don’t really think that Nadia will kill Bill Buchanan. I just couldn’t resist the tie-in. “Let me ask you a question. If I were Commander in Chief and suffered a debilitating accident that left me borderline comatose, what would you do?” “I’d have you removed from office on the grounds that you were unfit to run the country, then I would hire a covert ops group to have you killed and set up some Islamic extremist group for the fall. Lastly, I’d piss all over your grave and leave a flaming bag of dogshit at your sister’s front door every day for the next 20 years.” “Congratulations, Noah, you’re my running mate.” What, the, fuck. This is the most glaring problem with “24” this year. Never in a million, billion, bazillion years would a dove like Wayne Palmer have a warmongerer like Senator Roark as his second in command. Roark clearly doesn’t want to relinquish his authoritah, and that’s understandable. Still, he’s not as smart as Wayne, and Wayne will find a way to make him pay for his transgressions. It’s going to be sweet to watch, even if it kills my Season Five conspiracy theory once and for all. So what did I miss in the first 20 minutes? Did former President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk bite in en route to the hospital? Did the First Lady of Crazy kill herself out of grief, or craziness posing as grief? Is Old Yeller out for revenge, dunh dunh duuuuuuuunh? Or did they do what I suspect they did, and ignore those plot threads altogether? And don’t forget that Farmer Hoggett is still in play. Did Mark work for Farmer Hoggett? I really don’t know as I’m typing this. Stupid TiVo. Filed under: TV and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 8 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Correction to the Hour 13 blog: the Doom board I found that was so awesome is called “Go 2 It.” I play the ultra-violent version in “God mode,” which gives me the most bang for my buck with no consequences for my inability to actually survive the level legitimately. The sheer chaos on the screen makes me giggle. This episode brought about a million lyrics from ‘80s pop songs to mind, but I decided to name-check a super-obscure Duran Duran B-side. You know, to bolster my street cred. Here is what I said last week about the preview for this week’s episode:
As usual, I got it half right. Nadia was indeed fingered as the internal leak that is supplying the satellite intel to the Russian flight simulator, but she maintains her innocence, and has the nerve to dismiss Milo for not believing her. And knowing “24,” it’s safe to assume that she is indeed innocent. They did allow one new girl have a speaking line in this episode. Maybe she’ll be outed as the mole next week. And as much of a cocky jerk as the Ricker is, and as much as he seemed to enjoy choking Nadia, I don’t believe he has the technical savvy to pull such a stunt, his lust for hurting people be damned. Maybe Milo set her up? That’d be a surprise, but it would also be a cheat. Given Eric Balfour’s reputation as a show-killer of Ted McGinley proportions, it’s safe they’re not about to make him a bad guy. It’s one thing to do something that no one expects, but it’s another entirely to do it solely because no one will expect it. Ask David Lynch about that, he knows all about cheating in his movies. Senator Roark, meanwhile, is one step away from off ripping his clothes, jumping on the table in a crouched position, beating his chest with his fists, shrieking, “WAR! WAR! WAR!” at the top of his lungs, and throwing a pile of feces at Karen Hayes. He’s using the same logic that a high school teacher of mine used once to give me and a classmate a zero on an exam. His proof: we couldn’t prove that we weren’t cheating. Very clever, Mr. Steve Clippinger. Why didn’t you ask me when I stopped beating my girlfriend while you were at it? Anyway, Roark is doing the same thing, blatantly fitting his square-peg, square-peg, square, square, peg “Killing an Arab” policy into whatever round hole he can find, even when he’s told at every turn that what he’s doing is fucking nuts and he himself knows that he’s making gross assumptions in order to make his case. It all seems like a whole lot of time-killing bluster when you consider the timeline: it’s dark, and the day/season ends in ten hours, which means that this is going to end before you see any daytime shots of riled-up citizens arguing about the civil rights of the Muslim community or the backlash from bombing Fayed and Dr. Bashir’s homeland. It’s all a distraction, people. Let’s move on. Now, what to make of this whole ‘Audrey is dead’ thing? Is it true? My first instinct was to say that it was bogus, but we have to remember that when they were writing these episodes, they had no idea if “The Nine,” the new show of Audrey Raines actress Kim Raver (who showed all kinds of skin that you only wished she had shown on “24”) was going to be picked up. As it turns out, the show was canned – which is too bad, because it had its merits despite a lack of longevity as a series – so they have the liberty of either leaving her in the ground or bringing her back. And given the number of unanswered questions on the show, I would bet on her showing up in just enough time to make Heidi Petrelli jealous. Speaking of which, was anyone else surprised to see her make a pass at Jack within the confines of CTU? Dr. Romano’s body’s still warm, for crying out loud. Here’s what I want to know, though, stat: Farmer Hoggett left his son with a cell phone that had President Buck Buck Brawwwwk’s number. Why hasn’t anyone investigated a link between Hoggett and Former President I.M. Weasel? In fact, given that Jack now knows that his father was partially responsible for not only the current day’s events but the assassination of his boy David Palmer – not to mention the framing of Jack for said events – why the hell isn’t CTU using every exhaustible resource to find Hoggett? It’s as if he flew to another planet or something. He’s in Los Angeles, you halfwits! Go get him! Also, what about the shady group that Mr. Hilary Swank works for? They were the ones that set this whole plan in motion, after all. Don’t think for a second that we’ve forgotten that. Sometimes I feel as though the writers of “24” treat us like cats, that they can jangle keys in our face and we’ll forget about whatever we were thinking about beforehand. That’s not a smart tactic, since cats are fickle and will forget your precious show when they lose interest. All hail the fickle cats! Filed under: TV and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 2 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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The title is a reference to the fact that the Russians were scouring their locked-down embassy for an at-large Jack (nice use of a belt on his part, but shame on both the guy assigned to kill him and the guy watching them both on VIDEO for not seeing Jack grab the belt in the first place), and when they finally checked out the room that he was in, they didn’t find him. Why? Because they never look up (Jack was hiding in the ceiling). Basically, Jack’s playing Quake while everyone else is playing Doom. And Jack’s in God mode. Is there a God mode in Quake? I just found a level called Cyberden in the Plutonia version of Doom, and it’s freaking sweet. All right, show of hands: who’s having a hard time taking the Ricker (nickname courtesy of my “Silver Spoons”-watching wife) seriously? That whole brash, bow-to-me-or-be-reassigned thing was the most pompous performance in CTU history. Not even Chappelle (R.I.P.) was that much of a blowhard, and he blew hard. Even better, did you like his decision not to use body armor during the assault on the Russian embassy? Hell, even Jack wears a vest. What you tryin’ ta prove, son? Whatever it is, nobody cares, and once Jack is back at CTU, you can bet that he will give him the verbal equivalent of an open-hand slap in the mouth. Heck, when you’re actually rooting for Milo over anyone, there’s something wrong. Senator Roark, meanwhile, has onions so large that he carries them around in a wheelbarrow. He strong-arms the Biscuit into backing his “Killing an Arab” policy, despite the fact that the senator himself knows that the Muslims were not responsible for the attack on the President. I thought for sure that the Biscuit would tell the truth when Roark asked him to lie, but this time, he caved. Perhaps he, like the rest of us, pondered what kind of beatdown Powers Boothe could give Peter MacNicol in real life, and thought twice about it. Does President Palmer even come back this year? After all, we only have 11 hours left. Would they ever allow a Commander-in-Chief to resume office that soon after an assassination attempt? Lastly, we get to former President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk and the former First Lady of Crazy. Martha has a new boy toy, and it is no other than – bow chicka bow bow – Old Yeller. I had severe problems with this, since I figured their relationship, as First Lady and bodyguard, was a close one, but not intimate, we’ll-have-sex-as-soon-as-I-get-to-the-funny-farm intimate. Shows what I know about politics. If there is one thing I know about women – and man, do I know this – it’s that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially a batshit crazy one. With all of the camera shots of a knife here and a knife there, I was surprised that Martha didn’t telepathically send 20 knives flying into Chicken Little’s torso “Carrie”-style. Instead, she only needed one, and her response of “They should make me a hero” was blackly funny. For those who don’t want to know about next week’s episode, stop reading here, but there was something that gave me hope that they had not completely underestimated our intelligence. As CTU is tracking the “drone” plane that houses one of the suitcase nukes, it is clear to them that someone within CTU is manipulating the action. Is this when they finally play the Nadia/Milo card? Does Nadia sell Milo down the river? Of course she does. Isn’t that what he’s been here for all this time? Filed under: TV and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 6 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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The single greatest thing about tonight’s episode of “24” was the sneak preview of next week’s episode. They showed President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk dealing with the former First Lady of Crazy. And at her side: Old Yeller. Oh, thank goodness. I missed the old dog. In a strange bit of subconscious Stockholm Syndrome at work, Jack has once again infiltrated a foreign embassy in an attempt to squeeze a reluctant diplomat that Knows Too Much. You would think that this is the last place on earth that he would care to go, and yet even after they leave, and President Buck Buck Brawwwwk tells him the consulate is lying, Jack comes up with the brilliant plan to have Chloe cause a power outage so he can ambush the dude by himself and hold him hostage for more info. It’s as if this is the only situation where Jack feels comfortable, when he’s being caught and, eventually, punished. Then again, maybe this whole detour takes place for the sole purpose of explaining just what happened to Jack while he was being held by the Chinese, and what caused the scarring on Jack’s right hand. But that will have to wait. Right now, there is information to extract, and with information extraction comes…torture, despite the fact that even our own military is complaining about the negative effect this show has had on their cadets. Somewhere, though, Sam Raimi was surely having a laugh at Jack’s torture device of choice. Back at the White House, Assad dies while trying to save President Palmer’s life (lame), and for that he gets…the blame for planting the bomb, just like Mr. Swank and his bomb-making goon planned. Senator Roark assumes control of the Oval Office while Palmer recovers, but he needs the Biscuit’s silent complicity to enact the Biscuit’s plan to roll civil rights back 50 years, which is the second such deal he’s been asked to make in about half an hour. The first time he was asked, he instantly turned on Swank and had them arrested. Saying no to Senator Roark, however, will not be so easy. I was thisclose to calling him Mr. Roark. But that’s a different show entirely, isn’t it? If they don’t deal with Jack’s experiences with the Chinese next week, they damn well better deal with the repercussions of Milo giving clearance to Nadia. And was it just me, or did you also think that Karen Hayes was gone all these weeks because she was on a plane to Los Angeles? Now we see that she’s been waiting at the airport all this time? What White House cabinet members, even the ones whose resignations have wet ink on them, wait at the airport for anything? Heck, I guess I should be happy that Heidi Petrelli and Jack Jack weren’t ambushed on their way to CTU. But I don’t recall seeing them arrive, either. I guess there’s still time for that, though it would mean one leisurely drive through Los Angeles, the city that just had a nuclear bomb go off. Uh, sure. And now it’s time for the conspiracy theory of the week. |
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Man, I wish I were blogging “Heroes” instead. That show rules. My wife and I always watch that first, and not just because I have to sit down and write the “24” blog after watching each night’s episode. We watch “Heroes” first because we’re emotionally involved in it…and God, how can you not be involved in an episode like the one they showed tonight? Poor Claire. Hasn’t she suffered enough? Oh, right, CTU. Sigh. Jack sends Heidi Petrelli and Jack Jack back to CTU, and the first thought I had was, “They’re going to get ambushed.” Man, I hope I’m wrong about that, but this show is all about the ambush (Teri and Kim, Audrey Raines and her father, etc.). Jack and Heidi share a tender moment away from Jack Jack, and Jack tells Heidi, “He reminds me of you.” Afterward, I swear I heard Jack mutter under his breath, “But mostly me.” There’s a power struggle taking place at CTU, with Nadia becoming highly suspicious of Morris and his binge drinking. That’s an interesting choice for a girl whose rights were recently restricted because of her race, but hey, we’re not ones to judge. Is the fact that Milo gave her his clearance ever going to come back into play? You don’t write something like that into the story without following up on it. One quick note on Chloe’s obsession with proving Morris’ guilt, however justified it may be: they have to stop with this whole bait-and-switch thing. They set up Morris as guilty from the first frame, only to turn it on Chloe in the end when she bursts into the men’s room to accuse him. That trick is all well and good, but don’t go to the well too often. And by too often, I mean every single opportunity. See my ambush comment above. The subplot involving President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk, so far, is a dud. He’s a reformed man, or so he says, and yet he’s fingering a strait-laced Russian as an ‘in’ (an ‘in’ that’s also a convenient, untraceable back door) to Miss Gredenko and the nukes. The fact that the line he quotes in the mirror is also highlighted in his Bible, however, is a sign that there is far greater significance to everything, a la Michael Scofield’s taped message to Sara in “Prison Break.” Is Logan tired of house arrest and his Hussein-style beard, and hopes that the Ruskies will bust him loose? That’s a gutsy move, but then again, they have already set it up so that the US has no sovereign power at the meeting place, which could facilitate Logan’s escape rather well. Wouldn’t he miss his beloved First Lady of Crazy? Or did he have her fed to rabid dogs before he struck his deal? You just never know with that man. Which brings us to the White House, where all the killing is taking place. Mr. Swank is dumber than he would care to admit, and not because he tried to take out Assad without hurting the President: he’s dumb because forensics will examine the scene and conclude that the man who brought in the tape recorder is the one who made the bomb, and the record will show that that man was brought into the bunker by…Mr. Swank. The Biscuit, meanwhile, is trying to foil the plan by causing a pressure surge on some pipe or other in the seemingly off-the-grid pipe room, and all I could think was him thinking to himself, “Damn…these…stumpy…legs!” The hit man warns him, “You try that again, I’ll kill you.” Pansy. Any contract killer worth his salt would have killed the Biscuit right then and there, and dealt with the consequences later. The President was badly injured in the blast (curiously, they mentioned nothing about Assad’s condition, even though he was in between the bomb and the President), which appears to be paving the way for Senator Roark to assume control and lock all the coloreds up once and for all. And this all might make for interesting television but… …why is it that I want Jack Bauer to die? Kiefer Sutherland himself said two or three seasons ago that no one should be untouchable on this show, not even Jack. I think it’s high time they play that card, since a cat only has nine lives after all. The only problem is that they haven’t set up anyone to take his place, and anyone they could have groomed for the role during the show’s run is now either dead (Curtis) or missing a forearm (Chase Edmunds). Damn, I knew they killed Nina Myers too early. Filed under: TV and Actors and Actresses and TV Action and 24 and External TV Comments: 4 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Since the dawn of creation — well, the creation of this feature, anyway — Jack Bauer sat atop Bullz-Eye.com’s TV Power Rankings, owning the #1 slot for better than a year and a half. Some would say it was only a matter of time, but now that it’s finally happened, the sudden fall from grace of Fox’s hit show “24″ is actually a lot more embarrassing than it is depressing. But the real-time thriller isn’t the only major shakeup in the winter 2007 edition of the rankings. HBO’s “The Wire” makes its grand (and, forgive us, long overdue) debut, while NBC experienced a big surge thanks to its fresh fall lineup. Of course, HBO still came out the big winner with five shows emerging in the Top 10 (four in the first six), proving once again that it pays to, well, pay for quality television. Here are a few entries from our list: 11. Scrubs (NBC): It shouldn’t surprise anyone to see that “Scrubs” has dropped so low in the rankings. Coming off one of the best years since its debut, expectations for the show were certainly higher than usual – especially when it was called up to the big leagues and given a spot in NBC’s highly coveted Must See TV lineup – but no one could have guessed that the sixth season would start out on such a sour note. Whether it was the accelerated progression of J.D. into adulthood (he’s got a baby on the way, with guest star Elizabeth Banks, no less) or Carla’s all-too-brief post-partum depression (a subplot added to accommodate Judy Reyes’ real-life hip injury), the first five episodes of the new season were particularly somber. Things were looking so bleak, in fact, that fans of the show were preparing to concede that the medical comedy was finally showing signs of wear, but with the much-publicized musical episode creatively rejuvenating everyone involved with the show, things are finally getting back on track. And as long as things remain this kooky and fresh (read: Kelso getting his own episode, or the Janitor using a stuffed rabbit as a salt and pepper shaker), we don’t see any reason why “Scrubs” won’t being making a triumphant return to the Top 5 in the very near future. ~Jason Zingale 17. Deadwood (HBO): Well, despite all the rumors, “Deadwood” isn’t quite dead…yet. Last year, HBO decided not to extend the options of the terrific ensemble cast, making a fourth full season unlikely, but the network and series creator David Milch agreed to produce two two-hour telefilms to wrap up the show’s loose ends. Season Three contained a myriad of intertwining storylines, but focused on the growing influence of businessman/asshole George Hearst, which put former adversaries Al Swearengen and Sheriff Seth Bullock in an unlikely alliance. “Deadwood” features stronger language than any other HBO show, and with “The Sopranos” and “The Wire” on the network’s roster, that’s saying a lot. The truth is that everything about the show – the language, the acting, the story, the sets and the costumes – is colorful, and whether or not HBO wants to admit it, they’re going to miss “Deadwood” once it’s gone for good. ~John Paulsen Check out the full list here. Filed under: TV and Rome and Lost and South Park and Prison Break and The Office and My Name Is Earl and 24 and The Shield and The Sopranos and Entourage and Deadwood and External Entertainment and External TV and The Wire and Heroes and Battlestar Galactica Comments: 9 Comments Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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The president of our company wasn’t kidding: “24” has turned into “Dynasty.” The latest obstacle to hamper CTU is…a drinking problem. That is not a typo. The part of Amy Winehouse is played by Morris O’Brien, who, when faced with what he perceives to be a painful reminder of his own cowardice at the hands of the man that he had previously deemed an intellectual subordinate, unravels to the point where he chugs nearly a pint of whiskey, only to purge it from his system in a fit of shame seconds later. “Call your sponsor,” Chloe admonishes when he comes back stinking of whiskey. I suppose that last nugget of information negates the Winehouse joke; if they tried to make Amy Winehouse go to rehab, she’d say no, no, no. In fact, the majority of the episode contained more relationship melodrama than political intrigue. “Don’t kill my son!” “I killed your husband, and I’ll kill your son.” “He won’t kill him, he wants me.” “I had to go my own way.” “Don’t turn me in to Buchanan!” “Call your sponsor!” Ugh. The most interesting plot thread was given the least amount of attention, and that is the Biscuit’s betrayal of the President. Sure, it looked bad for the Biscuit as he’s handing over the President’s itinerary, but there is no way he would go from resigning to whacking the Commander in Chief in a matter of minutes, right? No, of course not, which is why it was such a relief to see him call the head of Secret Service the second in an attempt to thwart the plot…and why it didn’t surprise us in the slightest to see Mr. Swank pop the Biscuit the second he knew that he was being played. Let us guess: now the Biscuit is framed for the hit if it proves to be unsuccessful. Don’t let her shrieking fool you: Heidi Petrelli is one strong woman. She has hardly cried a tear for the death of her husband, which happened only an hour or so ago. She didn’t even flinch when Jack gently brushed her delicate brunette locks out of her face. I’m not sure exactly what happened between those two in the past, but that moment, this soon after the death of her husband and his brother, is creepy. I don’t care if he just helped save Jack Jack’s life. Wouldn’t you at least let the body get cold before bustin’ a move? During one of the blink-chunk, blink-chunk moments, they showed the Biscuit strapped down like he was suffering spinal trauma. From a flashlight, wielded by Mr. Swank? Not buying it, sorry. Dude may be evil, but he’s not supernatural. And then there’s the Great Reveal in the last two minutes. Daddy Dearest/Farmer Hoggett manages to slip out after having his son, the freaking CTU agent, kneel down in preparation for an execution-style bullet in the skull. Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure that there isn’t a man alive the same age as James Cromwell that can sneak out of a meeting of narcoleptics. Jack realizes Daddy Dearest isn’t there, and in his pursuit, finds a cell phone with a text message telling him to call…President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk! I knew he was coming back, so seeing him wasn’t a shock, but that Saddam Hussein beard was. Hey, at least he doesn’t look like Nixon anymore. There’s still one thing that troubles me: both Hoggett and Romano have admitted that they were complicit in the assassination of David Palmer, but neither has admitted or acknowledged that they had any reason to believe that Jack, who was set up for the hit, was actually alive when it took place (you’ll remember that he had been declared dead months before, in order for Jack to escape the clutches of the Chinese). The connection to President Logan may explain this, since he also tried to have Jack killed at the end of season four, only to discover that someone else had allegedly beaten him to the punch. Still, when last season started, Logan had no idea that Jack was still alive either, which means that either one of the still-living characters has information that they have yet to reveal or the show’s producers are secretly hoping that you have forgotten that that they have not properly explained this gaping plot hole. The only explanation, given what information they have shared with us, is that Chloe is the mastermind behind Palmer’s assassination, since she is the only surviving person we’re aware of who knows who fabricated Jack’s death in the first place. Um, sure. No one orchestrates a plot to kill a former President of the United States in the hopes that they can pin it on a guy that may or may not already be dead. If Hoggett & Romano knew that Jack was still alive, then prove it. Now. We’re growing tired of sentences that begin with, “Don’t ask me how, but…,” like we heard tonight with the explanation about Gredenko extorting Farmer Hoggett. That’s code for “Hey, it’s your cousin Basil Exposition! Just go along with whatever he tells you.” Sorry, not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture. Filed under: |