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The Sopranos… in seven minutes

Curious about checking out the final season of “The Sopranos” but don’t have the time to watch the previous seasons before it premieres next Sunday?

Don’t fret. Some kid named Paul Gulyas has taken it upon himself to edit a seven minute “refresher” montage that pretty much explains everything that went down during the first six years. He speaks a little fast at times, and it’s probably pretty confusing for someone that’s never seen the show before, but it gets the job done, and just under eight minutes.

Okay, so it’s actually “The Sopranos” in seven minutes and thrirty-five seconds, but feel free to check it out before YouTube takes it down.

You can follow us on Twitter @moviebuffs and on Facebook as well.

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WSUX in Cincinnati…?

I haven’t gotten my copy of “WKRP in Cincinnati: The Complete First Season” yet – although Lord knows I’m chomping at the bit for its arrival – but according to Jamie Weinman’s blog, where he discusses what he’s found on his copy, it sounds like I won’t be nearly as excited as I’d hoped to be.

Man, y’know, I knew they wouldn’t license every single song that was played on the air during the various episodes, but my jaw dropped at the revelation that “Old Time Rock ‘N’ Roll” didn’t make the cut in the pilot.

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Paris might go to jail

Oh, no. Looks like Paris Hilton could be looking at jail time. An investigation has been opened in regards to her being ticketed last month while driving on a suspended license due to her probation. At the time, Hilton claims she didn’t know the license was suspended. Investigators claim they have more than enough evidence to suggest that she did in fact know this to be the case. Hilton could face up to 90 days in jail. Don’t hold your breath.

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BE’s Badass Bracket: Round Three

This is one lean, mean Sweet 16. Law enforcement has done extremely well so far (though the police do not condone the actions of either McClane or Callahan, and have scheduled anger management sessions and sensitivity training for both), but representatives of the New York, Miami and Los Angeles branches of organized crime are ready, willing and able to bust a cap. Unfortunately for the gangsters, two of them – Jules Winnfield and Tony Montana – face off against each other, leaving them at least one soldier down in the Elite Eight.

Ellen Ripley has her hands full against the flying firsts of Lee, the meddling archaeologist takes on the drunk gunslinger, and in what is perhaps the most intriguing battle of the round, the cannibal squares off with the biggest slice of beefcake in the bracket. Saddle up, voters: it’s time to throw down.

Click here to check out the full bracket, and then vote for your favorite badass!

(#16) Indiana Jones vs. (#9) Doc Holliday
(#12) James Bond vs. (#4) John McClane
(#6) Conan vs. (#3) Hannibal Lecter
(#7) Sonny Corleone vs. (#2) Maximus

(#1) Dirty Harry vs. (#8) Batman
(#5) Jules Winnfield vs. (#13) Tony Montana
(#6) Rooster Cogburn vs. (#3) John Rambo
(#7) Lee vs. (#2) Ripley

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Kurt Russell hates Scots and Spartans

Upon hearing that Scotsman Gerard Butler, who played the fearless King Leonidas in the smash hit “300,” has been cast as Snake Plissken in the upcoming remake to “Escape from New York,” the original film’s star Kurt Russell publicly disparaged the casting, commenting that the Snake character was “quintessentially one thing. And that is, American.”

To which we say: Settle down, Kurt. The guy held off the entire Persian army for days, using little more than a shield, a sword, and a diaper. We’re pretty sure he can handle a few surly Manhattanites.

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Jericho, Episode 16: Goodbye, April lady, you’ve done a lot for the folks in this town…

After taking a week off, “Jericho” returns with an episode that actually packed a bit of emotional heft.

We begin with Hawkins spending his evening doing what any newly-single fella would: digging a grave. He’s interrupted from his task, however, by the appearance of Deputy Jim, who’s inching closer and closer to being immortalized in the Dopey Deputies of Television trifecta alongside Barney Fire and Enos Strate. I mean, you’d like to think the guy’s got some Marge Gundersen in him and that we’re just underestimating him, but any hint of that vibe is depleting at a rapid pace. Jim’s looking for Sarah, but Hawkins hems, haws, and finally claims that she’s headed to New Orleans to visit family; after another drop-by visit, he then admits that his own family has jumped ship…but to help cast away some of Jim’s rising suspicion, Hawkins takes the deputy over to the shelter where Darcy and the kids are staying. There’s a little suspense about whether Darcy might just narc on her husband and get him out of her hair for good…though the implication that Hawkins might pop a cap in Jim’s skull (he grabbed his gun before heading over to the shelter) is so stupid that surely no-one really believed it was going to happen…but she finally decides to stick to the story for the sake of her daughter, a.k.a. the person who actually killed Sarah. And, once again, things end with the presumption that Hawkins will never see his family again. Yeah, right.

Inevitably, the most interesting subplot of the week was the death of April. I didn’t see it coming, I was actually depressed about it (Lord knows there were far more worthy candidates within the town to have shuffle off this mortal coil), and her last scene – when she tells Eric that she likes the name Tracy, even though he knows that their baby has already died – is gripping. We also get to see Dr. Dhuwalia again…and although it gets a little too CBS-y when he’s struggling with his whole “I just want to live a simple life” thing but suddenly comes around thanks to Jake’s pep talk, Aasif Mandvi is a great actor who manages to rise above the schmaltz. Indeed, the only up-side to April’s death is that we’ll see more of Dhuwalia.

The only other notable events of the week were the arrival of the wind turbine in town, Dale protecting his interest in Gracie’s store and, as a result, finally getting some long-deserved action from Skylar (though you can just about count on her shitty friends popping up again so they can convince her that he’s not good enough for her), and more annoyed interaction between Mimi and Bonnie. Okay, those scenes weren’t bad…but, God help us, we also got yet another gag-reflex-inducing scene between Stanley and Mimi, where they finally admit that they love each other.

Seriously, I really can’t believe they killed off April instead of one of those two.

Anyway, the episode ends with ten of Jericho’s best and brightest – including Eric and Stanley – heading off to New Bern to help build more wind turbines. Not a real cliffhanger.

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American Idol: Bye Bye Curly

Well, I can’t say I didn’t warn you. Yes, we’re going to have another week of Sanjaya on “American Idol.” And I’m fearful that we may have 7 or 8 more weeks of this idiot. No, seriously, I’m really afraid of that. Aren’t you?

The show started with Ryan Seacrest wearing a Sanjaya faux-hawk wig, and he predictably looked ridiculous. Then after the recap of the previous night, it was right to business. Blake and Lakisha were safe, and Phil was sent to the bottom 3. This surprised me because Phil kicked ass on Tuesday, but that’s America for you. Melinda, Chris Richardson and Sanjaya were then declared safe, while Haley was sent to the bottom 3 (deservedly). Jordin was safe, which meant the last member of the basement would be either Gina or Chris Sligh.

I knew what was coming, but first a performance by Gwen Stefani and hip-hop artist Akon, who she will be touring with. Did anyone notice that all Akon did was hoot and holler a couple of times, prance around the stage with his Fruit of the Looms in full view, and just kind of get in the way? But hey, it was a nice performance by Gwen, who is always entertaining.

Back to business. Phil Stacey was sent back to the pack, leaving Haley and Sligh. The judges were asked who they thought would go home, and while Randy and Paula typically backpedaled, Simon was blunt and said “I think it’s bye bye Curly.” Naturally, he, and I, were right. Whew. I was starting to think I didn’t understand the American voters. But I do know that one lousy performance at this stage is poison, and it was for Chris. For Haley, her day is coming soon, legs or not. And for Sanjaya, well, I’m going to use a Simon phrase again: “If people like you, good luck.”

So we’re down to 9….I’m nervously envisioning a finale of Melinda and Sanjaya. People, we have to start banding together on this, because too many wiseguys and crying teenagers are keeping Sanjaya going. He’s not just on life support, he is thriving.

We still have a long way to go, so hang on….Farley, OUT

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Expose: Or how I learned to care about Paulo

Ever since the introduction of Paulo and Nikki, fans of the series have expressed their absolute hatred for the new characters, despite the fact that the show’s creators stated, in so many words, to just deal with it, since they would likely be around for a long time.

I don’t know what to think of that statement after watching tonight’s episode. Initially, it seemed like both Paulo and Nikki were dead in the ground, and if that was the case, then why did the writers even bother? By the end of the episode, however, it became clear that they were actually just paralyzed (more on that later) and awoke just as they were being buried (alive!) in the beach. Now, I don’t exactly know where they’re going with this, but I’d really like to know if they’re pretty much screwed (read: dead) or if they’ll somehow make it out of that sand grave before they really do die.

The flashback in this week’s episode was actually shared by both characters, since they knew each other before the crash. Nikki is a… stripper? No wait, she’s actually an up-and-coming actress who’s just finished a scene with the Billy Dee Williams on a “Charlie’s Angels” clone called “Expose.” Razzle dazzle, indeed. Paulo, on the other hand, is the personal chef for the director of the show, but after he old man suddenly dies from a “heart attack,” it’s revealed the two are actually in cahoots. They’ve just conned, poisoned and stolen a bag of diamonds from the poor man (yes, I was thinking the same thing: more criminals on the island?), but they’ll never get the chance to spend them.

The rest of the episode was split into two halves. The first was based around the idea that these two characters have been on the island since day one, and in order to make the audience believe so, recreated several scenes from the first two seasons with both of them popping up in places we all know we never saw them before. That was a bit pathetic – especially bringing back Maggie Grace, Ian Somerhalder and the dude who played Arnzt. Still, it seems that these guys were quite the explorers. Not only did they discover both the drug plane and the Pearl hatch first, but Paulo also spied Ben and Juliet talking about their impending abduction of Jack and Co.

Uh… you could have warned them you know.

Long story short, all either of these two really cares about is finding the diamonds. Nikki wants them for herself, and Paulo wants them so Nikki still needs him. The latter is the one who finally finds them (in the same pond as the case with the guns, no less), and when his secret is discovered, Nikki plans her revenge. Unable to get a gun from Sawyer, Nikki goes the island route and tosses a Medusa bug on to Paulo, which quickly bites and paralyzes him. Unfortunately, Nikki gets a couple bites of her own, but that doesn’t stop her from burying the diamonds before passing out in front of Sawyer and Hurley.

And that brings us to the second part of the story: the crime scene investigation. The Frat Pack (that’s what I’m calling Sawyer, Hurley, Jin and Charlie these days) are on the case, but aside from finding the two bodies lying in the woods, they really can’t figure anything else out. Sawyer gets blamed (of course) and Charlie confesses to Sun that it was actually he who faux-kidnapped her several months back, but no one ever determines the cause of death. Which brings us back the beginning: Nikki isn’t really dead. I’m not so sure about Paulo, since we never saw him actually open his eyes (and he would have done so before Nikki, right?), but they’ve both just been buried alive (presumably) with no way of calling for help.

Will everyone’s favorite survivors to hate make it out alive, or have the writers just found a convenient way of clearing up the message boards? Tune in next week to find out. And if not, then at least we get to see Kate and Juliet go at it… in the rain!

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What the world needs now…

…isn’t love, sweet love.

It’s a 50-foot Michael Jackson robot. With lasers for eyes. On the Las Vegas strip.

Seriously.

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“Snoopy go home,” say Brits

Rapper Snoop Dogg has been denied a British visa, which in turn has wreaked havoc upon his plans for a European tour. According to a representative for Snoop, the rapper is “mystified at the decision” and hopes the British government will reconsider.

Hmmm: mystified, huh? Let us help clear things up for you, Snoop. Remember that time you were arrested at John Wayne Airport for trying to carry a collapsible baton on board a plane? Not smart. Oh, and also? That time you were arrested at Bob Hope Airport in Burbank on suspicion of carrying marijuana AND a handgun? Yeah, the British tend to frown on that, too. I know, they’re hopelessly uptight, but what can you do? It’s their country, and you have to respect their cultural differences. Racist bastards.

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