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If you’re looking for a good bathroom read…

…here’s one of the best books you’re ever going to find: Unsold TV Pilots – The Almost Complete Guide To Everything You Never Saw On TV, by Lee Goldberg.

If you laughed really hard at the “Fox Force Five” discussion in “Pulp Fiction,” you won’t be able to stop reading this book…and re-reading it, and re-reading it.

Here are just a few entries to whet your appetite:

Wurlitzer: Scott Maldovan inherits a run-down diner, and in it, an antique, mahogany Wurlitzer jukebox which not only plays timeless hits, but hurls our hapless hero into the past, to the time when each particular song was popular. In the unproduced pilot, Scott is sent to 1968 San Francisco to help a woman in her battle against drug addiction.

Ethel Is An Elephant: Todd Susman is a New York photographer who shares his apartment with a baby elephant abandoned by a circus. The proposed series would chronicle this awkward living arrangement and his constant battles with the city and his landlord to keep the animal.

Poor Devil: Sammy Davis, Jr., stars as the earnest but inept disciple of the Devil (played by Christopher Lee, no less) who constantly fails to win over souls.

Ebony, Ivory, and Jade: On the surface, Ebony Bryant (Debbie Allen) and Ivory David (Martha Smith) are a Las Vegas song-and-dance team, managed by slick guy Nick Jade (Bert Convy)…but they are actually three crack secret agents.

There are also a lot of failed pilots which included actors and actresses who would LATER become famous. After the flop of “Basic Instinct 2,” one wonders if Sharon Stone now wishes that ABC had picked up “Badlands 2005,” the story of a U.S. marshall (Lewis Smith) and his cyborg partner (Miguel Ferrer) who patrol the now barren American West in a high-tech car for a tough female boss…played by Stone, naturally.

SUCH an awesome book.

You can follow us on Twitter @moviebuffs and on Facebook as well.

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REMINDER: “Best of TV Funhouse” is on tonight!

You can check out the “track listing,” as it were, right here.

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Arrested Development: Return of the Bluths

Looks like there’s at least one guy out there who still refuses to let FOX kill one of our favorite shows, but don’t expect this snazzy fan art to stir a revolution. Still, it’s pretty to look at and will make for a nice desktop wallpaper. Click here for the full image.

Return of the Bluths

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No, Daniel, it’s Celebrity FIT Club…

…not Celebrity COKE Club!

One of the lesser Baldwins…and after Alec, there’s a reeeeeeeeeal f*cking drop-off…has somehow managed to sully his reputation worse than when he appeared as part of VH-1′s “Celeb-reality” line-up: Daniel Baldwin got nailed during a coke bust in Santa Monica and was hauled in for possession.

Well, if nothing else, this makes Stephen look better.

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Who cares if a show’s executive producer guest-stars in one of its episodes…?

Well, that depends. But in the case of “Medium,” where one of the show’s executive producers is none other than Kelsey Grammer, quite a few people are interested.

Grammer will be appearing on the May 8th episode of the show…playing a guy who claims to be no less than the Angel of Death himself…and he and the show’s star, Patricia Arquette, held a press conference to celebrate the occasion. What’s arguably even cooler, however, is that Bullz-Eye got to participate…!

Dig this:

Read the rest of this entry »

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