There’s only one problem when it comes to discussing Season 3 of “Damages” and it’s this: a key event occurs in the season premiere that I can’t possibly give away. As such, I’m forced to dance around it…which sucks, because, man, I reeeeeeeally want to talk about it with someone.

What we can talk about, at least, is the general premise of the season, which revolves around a suspiciously-familiar concept: a high-profile financier who turns his wealth management business into a massive Ponzi scheme that defrauds thousands of investors of billions of dollars. But, c’mon, this panel took place before an audience of intelligent critics (and, no, that’s not a contradiction in terms, thank you very much), so no one was going to ask, “So, is it a coincidence that this resembles the whole Bernie Madoff situation?” The better question, obviously, was whether or not any other news stories were in competition for use as the thrust of Season 3.

“Well, I don’t know if I’d call it competition,” said executive producer Daniel Zelman, laughing. “But there were several stories we were looking at, not just the Madoff case. There was an attorney named Marc Dreier who fascinated us. You may have seen; he did an interview on “60 Minutes.” But he had perpetrated some $700 million con essentially. And also, a businessman named Allen Stanford had basically created a bank in Antigua that supposedly had billions of dollars in it, but had nothing in it. So we were really drawn to all of these stories, and we’re using elements of all these stories in the story that we’re telling, although coming through the front door, it’s sort of more around the Madoff scenario.”

Those who’ve been watching “Damages” regularly have seen unexpected casting choices like Ty Burrell (“Modern Family”), Ted Danson (“Cheers,” “Becker”), and Darrell Hammond (“Saturday Night Live”) pay off handsomely, but even so, it’s a bit of a surprise to find both Martin Short and Lily Tomlin turning up in Season 3. For executive producer Todd A. Kessler, however, it makes perfect sense.

“One of the things that we try to strive for on ‘Damages’ is that nothing is as it seems,” he says. “Starting in the first season, when we cast Ted as Arthur Frobisher, it continues to just amaze us to work with actors and performers who aren’t always given the opportunities to do something other than what they’re primarily known for. When the casting came up this season…Lily plays the matriarch of a family that Patty Hewes is going after, and Marty plays the family’s attorney…we just thought it would be an amazing opportunity to work with both of them and then also have them embody this sense of ‘nothing is as it seems.’ And while there’s a familiarity with both of them as actors and their career work, on our show I think they’re both giving pretty iconic performances that are thrilling us daily.”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve done an endless amount of serious roles,” admitted Short, appearing at the panel via satellite, “but I think of myself as a character actor, and you play characters in a sincere fashion. Even if you’re playing Franck from ‘Father of the Bride,’ if you’re trying to be funny as that character, you won’t be. But if you sincerely play him as this eccentric person who exists in the world, then you’re basically acting the character, who happens to be an unusual character. So I don’t really look at it as a differentiation between comedy and serious. It, to me, is just what the role is, what it requires, how you can most effectively give the author what he had hoped to achieve.”

Although Short never clarified whether or not he was a fan of the series, Tomlin – also appearing via satellite – couldn’t stop gushing about her unadulterated “Damages” fandom.

“It’s the only show I’ve ever run home to see, no matter what,” she said, excitedly. “If I were working on another show even, I’d say, ‘I have to get out of here!’ That first season, it was on Tuesday nights, and I’d say, ‘I have to get home. I have to see it!’ And I wanted to see the 7 o’clock feed. I didn’t want to see the 10 o’clock; I wanted to see it from the get-go. And when I’d see Glenn (Close) anyplace at an event or anything, I would just jump all over her, and I’d say, ‘You’ve got to tell us. What’s going to happen? Why can’t you be on every night? Why can’t you be on all year? Why do I have to wait now?’ But I think what got me a part was I ran into Todd Kessler at a photography show in L.A., and when someone told me who he was, I completely lost it. You know how women throw themselves, like, they’ll jump on a guy they know really well and put their arms around his neck and their legs around his waist…? I think when it came to do the third season, they thought, ‘Remember that girl that jumped on you at that photography show? She really likes the show. Let’s see if she’s going to pass.” So I was thrilled to get it. I didn’t have a hesitation. I wanted to be on the show very, very much.”

And Close, for the record, is quite glad to have her…and Short, too, for that matter.

“My first scene with Martin and Lily is when I was deposing Lily,” Close said, “and I was sitting across from the two of them in our conference room on the set, and it was a very surreal experience, having watched them my whole career and loved them. I can’t tell you how invigorating, inspiring, fun it is. For me, it’s just pure fun. You get a well-written scene, and you have actors that can do anything that’s asked of them and have a million ideas. As Marty was saying the other day, because of the pace that we work at, in many ways it’s like an improv, because you have to be very quick on your feet. You have to be able to learn lines very fast and then to be able to kind of move around in those lines and make it authentic and believable. It’s just a great process. And to have people that are just so much fun! You two are not even here, but I’m jealous because I don’t have a lot of scenes with these two. There was a scene with Lily and Martin and Campbell Scott, and one of the crew guys said it was a gift to watch them, not only when they were in the scene, but what they did between the takes. They said the comedy, just the flights of fancy…”

“They never say that about us,” sighed Tate Donovan.

“No,” admitted Close, “they don’t. We’re the boring ones.”

We can’t say too much about what goes on with Ellen Parsons this season, mostly because it’s a given that she’s going to be in the heart of whatever happens, but without being too specific, we can at least acknowledge that, as a character, Ellen gets fleshed out a bit in Season 3.

“I think this season is exploring the theme of family,” said Parsons. “You get to see Ellen with her parents and her sister, and I think it reveals a lot about where she’s come from. (It’s) the polar opposite of the life with Patty and at the office, and I think it really reveals a lot of why she does what she does. When we meet her, she’s actually very different again this season from the last two seasons in that they’re actually quite separate when we first start. She hasn’t spoken to her for six months, and she’s really moved on in a real genuine kind of sense. Patty doesn’t get under her skin anymore, but the complexity of their relationship is definitely something that we still kind of end up exploring throughout the season.”

“From the beginning of the show, in the pilot, we didn’t want to give one specific label to Ellen,” explained Todd A. Kessler, “that she went to this law school and so she must be great, or she had this experience, and so that explains why she seeks out someone like Patty. We wanted it to develop, and we don’t really believe that there’s ever one formulative experience that defines someone’s existence. So in this third season now, we’re going to really be exploring Ellen’s relationship with her family and get more of Ellen’s past, in addition to Patty’s past. But it’s something that’s been very intriguing to us to kind of give pieces of that without having it be a nicely wrapped-up package early on before you actually see the person interacting with other characters.”

That’s just about all I can offer up from the panel without delving into stuff that, frankly, you’d be better served by learning yourself while watching the season premiere of “Damages” on January 25th. I can, however, close with a highly appropriate bit where, playing off Ms. Tomlin’s earlier comments, Ms. Close was asked if she ever does relent when someone comes up to her and asks for spoilers.

“I never let the secrets out,” Close confirmed. “And that’s very easy because I know they really don’t want to know. I’ve had people come up and say, ‘What’s in the box? Don’t tell me!‘ So, no, I never tell.” Turning to Donovan, she asked, “Do you tell?”

“All the time,” he replied with a grin, before quickly clarifying that “we don’t even know.”

“No, we don’t know,” agreed Close.”

“I would tell,” clarified Donovan, “but I don’t even know. The secret is that we don’t know the secrets.”

“I don’t even know if Todd and Glenn and Dan (Zelman) know the secrets in advance,” said Tomlin. “Maybe a few hours.”

“But that’s kind of the liberating thing,” said Donovan. “One of the liberating things about the show as an actor and anything else is that you don’t have time to judge yourself or your character or what’s happening or your scene partner because you don’t really know what’s going to happen and who you really are. I mean, I know that sounds terrible, and we as actor love to know our arc and stuff like that, but…I find it just so much fun to not know.”

HBO’s press release for the series summarizes “Bored to Death” thusly: “Jonathan Ames, a young Brooklyn writer, is feeling lost. Heʼs just gone through a painful break-up, thanks in part to his drinking, canʼt write his second novel, and carouses too much with his magazine editor. Rather than face reality, Jonathan turns instead to his fantasies – moonlighting as a private detective – because he wants to be a hero and a man of action.” That doesn’t really do tonight’s premiere justice, though. Things do kick off with Jonathan (Jason Schwartzman) watching his girlfriend move out of their apartment, but it’s in a moment of quiet desperation – and with a coffee cup full of white wine – that he spontaneously decides to put an ad on Craigslist, claiming to be a private detective. Despite admitting that he’s not licensed, he nonetheless gets a call in short order, and he’s off on his first case…though it’s probably not a good sign that his client, before their first meeting is over, has asked, “Are you sure you’re a detective…?”

As with all first episodes, we spend more time setting the stage than anything else. We meet Jonathan’s best friend, comic book illustrator Ray Hueston (Zach Galifianakis), as well as his boss, magazine editor George Christopher (Ted Danson), but the predominant purpose of tonight’s premiere (“The Stockholm Syndrome”) is to give us an idea who these guys are and what roles they play in Jonathan’s life. Rest assured that, in the subsequent couple of episodes, they will find a much larger place within his new profession…and also rest assured that, if the premiere of “Bored to Death” does indeed leave you feeling like its title, the odds of the sensation continuing next week are few.

By the way, that was obviously a joke about spending my time poorly (the party was a huge success), but I’m completely serious about wanting to watch the screener as soon as I get home. In addition to the trailer, though, every single person on the panel was hilarious…even Schwartzman, who appeared via satellite due to filming commitments on “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.”

HBO’s nutshell synopsis of the series…or, at least, the opening paragraph of the press release for the show, which generally tends to be about the same thing…reads as follows: “Jonathan Ames, a young Brooklyn writer, is feeling lost. Heʼs just gone through a painful break-up, thanks in part to his drinking, canʼt write his second novel, and carouses too much with his magazine editor. Rather than face reality, Jonathan turns instead to his fantasies – moonlighting as a private detective – because he wants to be a hero and a man of action.” The idea of Schwartzman as a man of action is funny enough in and of itself, but then you’ve got Danson as the aforementioned magazine editor, Galifianakis as Ames’s eccentric best friend, and a premise (and cast) which lends itself to high-profile guest stars. Basically, if this show isn’t a hit, then it’s at least destined to be remembered as one of the greatest cult sitcoms of all time.

Oh, and did I mention that Jonathan Ames is actually a real person? True story. He’s apparently a rather prolific author, in fact. (My apologies: I wasn’t familiar with him before this.) Having listened to him chat during the panel for “Bored to Death,” I think it’s fair to say that the stars of the shows are going to be in good comedic hands. Personally, I was convinced of this when he was asked to explain why the show – which would appear on the surface to be anything but boring – was given a name which so readily offers journalists a chance to fire back with snarky punchlines.

“It’s a risky title,” admitted Ames. “I had once called one of my books ‘What’s Not to Love,’ fully anticipating them saying, ‘Plenty.’ I also subtitled it ‘The Adventures of a Mild Perverted Young Writer.’ And for the next ten years it was, ‘Perverted Writer Jonathan Ames.’ I’m, like, ‘Oh, God, why wasn’t I like Dave Eggers and put the word ‘genius’ in the title. But ‘Bored to Death,’ the original short story that I wrote, there were dead bodies and the guy was bored, and I thought it was a nice play on the detective story to say ‘Bored to Death,’ to imply the things that were going to happen. And it carried over to the show. What’s interesting is that the lead character is infinitely curious and open to the world, and he’s so curious that he doesn’t have a chance to be bored. But it’s a fun title. And so I hope that the reviewers won’t be like, ‘‘Bored to Death’? We certainly were.’ But I don’t want to write your sentences for you, so just erase that from your mind.”

Throughout the panel, Galifianakis kept everyone laughing, offering up one-liners which only serve to confirm that his current rush of popularity is totally warranted. There were so many, in fact, that I can actually offer you a list of my top ten favorite moments:

10. When asked about building chemistry between himself and Schwartzman, he replied, “Well, it’s always difficult because Jason’s always on satellite.”

9. When he and Schwartzman were jointly asked about committing to a series as their movie careers were thriving, he looked down at his phone, then said to Schartzman, “I just got your text about how you were going to announce that you and I were not coming back to the show.”

8. When a critic wondered if he was feeling the heat from “The Hangover,” he first asked, “From the movie, or from last night?”

7. On why he chose to do “Bored to Death”: “You do a show and you like doing it, and you’re fortunate enough to be working, and that’s the way I see it. If this were a ‘Reba’ sitcom, then maybe it would be an easier decision, but this is something you would want to be part of, so I’m very, very happy.”

6. When it was suggested that he’d appeared in just about every film this year “except that movie about the homicidal orphan,” he snapped, “I did props on that.”

5. On his sudden success: “If I were 26 and this was happening, it would be all great, and I would probably buy like 17 Dodge Vipers. But right now it’s just a major inconvenience.”

4. When asked how many Dodge Vipers he did buy, he first replied, “17,” then recanted and admitted, “I haven’t bought any. They don’t make them in station wagon form.”

3. On the matter of losing time for his stand-up because of his film career, he sighed, “I’m going to really miss the Uncle Chuckles in Tampa.”

2. “I think as soon as I’m a wash-up in a couple of years, I will return to stand-up.”

1. When Ted Danson was asked a question about working predominantly on cable television in recent years rather than on a broadcast network, he went for the joke and said, “For Jason and Zach’s sakes, I was on a show called ‘Cheers.'” Galifianakis promptly one-upped him and replied, “I know, I know, I know! You tell me every five minutes! If it isn’t ‘Cheers,’ it’s fucking ‘Becker‘!”

By the way, after the considerable burst of laughter died down, Danson did get around to answering the question, though he still tried again to score with a joke…and, this time, Zach let him.

“In this show, I play a character who’s struggling with relevance, and I’m finding it really fun and easy to play,” Danson replied. “The good news/bad news is, I think, on cable you’re playing to a smaller audience. You tend to be able to be exactly who you are without trying to water it down and accommodate a committee, so I think the writing seems to be a little more authentic, but the truth is you can find good writing everywhere if you’re lucky. I mean, ‘The Office’ is an amazing show, and that’s on network.”

In conclusion, it should be noted that Schwartzman got the panel’s final laugh: as everyone here in Pasadena said,” Thank you,” he said the same, then reached for his microphone and asked the folks in Toronto, “Am I off with these assholes?”

“Bored to Death” premieres on Sept. 20th on HBO.

1. I missed the premiere, and when I tried to pick up the series a few episodes in, I felt like I’d already missed too much.
2. I missed an episode during the season, and I knew I’d never be able to figure out what happened, so I just decided to wait for the DVD.

Yeah, it’s true: “Damages” is that kind of show…and I should know, having been one of the people who missed the premiere. But when I got the Season 1 DVD set, I blew threw it as quickly as my schedule allowed. It was an enthralling thriller which managed to be that rare breed of legal drama which almost never set foot in a courtroom, with gripping performances from Glenn Close, Ted Danson, Rose Byrne, and Željko Ivanek and many a moment that left you breathless. In the end, Ellen Parsons (Byrne) went through hell and back, leading her to declare war on Patty Hewes (Close) by teaming with the FBI to bring her down from the inside, all the while maintaining a front and pretending to be her number-one employee.

Season 2 begins in approximately the same chronological manner as Season 1, starting in the present with a jarring opening scene, then jumping back in time to begin the process of explaining how things got to that point in the first place. How odd it feels, though, for the initial flashback scene to show Patty Hewes making an appearance on “Live with Regis and Kelly.” Not that we haven’t gotten the impression that Patty’s a major public figure in the world of law, but it feels rather jarring to see her in the comparatively day-glo lights of the “Live” stage. Still, you can also imagine it setting Patty up for a big fall when she waves Ellen onto the stage and declares to the studio audience and the millions of viewers watching at home that she’d be lost without her.

But will Patty fall this season? Well, if she doesn’t, it certainly won’t be for lack of Ellen trying to make it happen. “You just want to arrest Patti Hughes,” she says to her two FBI contacts. “I want to destroy her.”

Ellen’s got her own problems, though. She’s in therapy, ostensibly trying to deal with everything that happened to her last season, but she isn’t making much of an attempt at letting it work; while she’s in her group session, listening to the others vent about their issues, she’s got a revenge fantasy working in her brain which involves her taking a shotgun to Arthur Frobisher (Danson). She’s also found a cute and sympathetic ear within her therapy group in the form of Wes Krulik (Timothy Olyphant), but whether or not anything will come of it remains to be seen.

Similarly, Patty hasn’t jumped back into the courtroom since defeating Frobisher, so she’s clearly having some issues with the way things went down herself, though in typical fashion, she’s choosing not to acknowledge them. (She’s sure having a tasty series of bad dreams, though.) She’s got other things to keep her busy, including a battle with a senator over a charitable contribution that he’s promised to make to a new foundation but is trying to wiggle out of, but her associate, Tom Shayes (Tate Donovan), is needling her to get back out there and try a case. When she gets a call from an old acquaintance (energy consultant Daniel Purcell, played by Close’s former “Big Chill” co-star, William Hurt), however, it looks as though Patty might have been given an offer that she can’t refuse.

You know, I sense you’re getting a little twitchy. Let me guess: you want to know about Frobisher himself. Specifically, you’re wondering if he’s alive or dead. Unfortunately, the producers want you to keep wondering.

This is a photo from Season 1. Repeat: this is a photo from Season *1*.

When FX held a panel for the return of “Damages” during the summer TCA tour, Mr. Danson was in attendance, but neither he nor anyone else on the panel would commit to whether or not he was appearing in the new season in flashback or if Frobisher had survived the shooting at the end of Season 1. When I received the screener for the first two episodes of Season 2, it was accompanied by a note which threatened to cut off two of my fingers – one for each season – if I revealed Frobisher’s fate. And if you go to the FX media website, you will find that, although there are a few episodic shots for Season 2, there is not a one which features Mr. Danson.

Given that I like the symmetry of having five fingers on each hand, I won’t break FX’s embargo on the information, but I will ask you this: if Arthur Frobisher appears in the new season, and we know that he does in some capacity, then is it possible that there’s some reason why they aren’t offering up any pictures to trumpet that fact?

Oh, sure, it’s possible. Anything’s possible. You never know what could happen…or who could turn up…and I can’t wait to discuss it all with you after you’ve seen the premiere, which airs on Jan. 7 at 10 PM. There’s a lot of good stuff, but it’s stuff that you need to experience for yourself.

2. I liked “Recount” as much as the next guy, but Tom Hooper was robbed. He totally deserved to win the award for Outstanding Directing for a Miniseries, Movie, or a Dramatic Special for his work on “John Adams.” That said, Jay Roach defused my anger somewhat when he thanked “my rock ‘n’ roll sweetheart, Susanna Hoffs,” in his acceptance speech.

3. Don Rickles can be funnier with one motion of his eyebrow than Kathy Griffin is likely to be in her entire career…and, indeed, he proved this tonight.

4. Bryan Cranston, God love him, only won his Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series because of the split-vote phenomenon.

5. I’m not saying Josh Groban’s TV-themes medley was great, but hearing him screech Cartman’s lines in the “South Park” theme was worth the price of admission.

6. Ricky Gervais’s bit where he demanded that Steve Carrel return his Emmy was brilliant…but with that said, I went to see “Get Smart” at the local discount theater this weekend instead of paying full price to see “Ghost Town.” I’m just saying.

7. As happy as I was to see “Mad Men” win Outstanding Drama Series, I think I was just as psyched that “Damages” got the love it did in the acting categories. I might’ve picked Ted Danson to win over Zeljko Ivanek, I admit, but I’m sure as hell not complaining. Season 2 of that series can’t get here soon enough.

8. It was totally an industry joke, but when Tom Hanks thanked Chris Albrecht during his acceptance speech for “John Adams,” then cupped his ear to see if anyone would applaud, I laughed out loud.

9. Although way too much was made of the whole Outstanding Reality-Show Host award (and giving the Outstanding Reality-Show Competition award to “The Amazing Race” for the sixth consecutive year was abso-fricking-lutely ridiculous), Jimmy Kimmel’s waiting until after the commercial break to announce the winner was truly inspired.

10. Tommy Smothers is my hero.