So far, this has been the funniest episode of the new season. All the actors were great, the story lines were solid, and the ideas behind the jokes were eerily funny. I’ve been entertained by this season’s previous episodes, but I’ve always managed to take issue with a plot point. “Denise Handicapped” had none of these cracks.
At a local coffee shop, Larry meets an attractive woman named Denise and they begin conversing over their mutual adoration of the violinist, Chi-Yun. Larry is attending a party were she is performing and they agree to see each other before then. Denise glides away from the table, revealing her disability. She’s in a wheelchair; Larry is in a pickle.
While out to lunch with Jeff and Rosie O’Donnell, Larry tries to pay for the meal. It looks like we have another check dispute on our hands. Unlike the verbal exchange with Jason Alexander, Rosie and Larry get physical. The scene ends with Rosie manhandling Larry’s feeble frame.
Naturally, Larry and Denise’s first date doesn’t go so well. After carrying her up a flight of stairs, their dinner conversation is awkward at best. Still, Denise invites Larry back up to her apartment later in the night. Backed into a corner, Larry accepts. When they begin getting intimate, Larry is at an absolute loss. He fumbles around like a blind basketball player while she remains completely stationary. They gradually make their way to the bedroom where Larry once again aims to please. Denise is unsatisfied throughout his whole performance, leaving Larry suspicious. Does she feel nothing because she’s disabled from the waist down, or because Larry is awful in bed? This is a classic “Curb” dilemma.
Back at his house, Larry picks up a message from the couple that is hosting the Chi-Yun concert. They don’t want Larry to come because of the unsavory comments he made about their adopted Chinese baby. Now that he can’t go to the performance, there’s no reason to continue seeing Denise. He seeks advice from the almighty Leon:
Leon: You did your dizzle on her, right?
Larry: Yeah, I did my dizzle.
Leon: That means you did your f’in thing. Bring the f’in ruckus to that ass, Larry.
Larry: Oh, I suppose you think you could’ve gotten a response?
Leon: You God damn right, Larry.
Larry: Bullsh*t.
Leon: I would’ve had that ass tap dancing, Larry. I don’t f*ck around. Give me her God damn number. I’ll go over there and twist that ass up, Larry. I’d bang that b*tch like Beckham.
Larry takes Denise to a nice restaurant in order to break up with her. However, his motives quickly change as he realizes the perks of dating a handicapped individual. They score a great parking spot and receive preferential treatment during their entire meal. On their “stroll and roll” after eating, they bump into the couple that disinvited them to the concert. Noticing Larry’s contrived sense of good character, they rescind their actions. Larry could get used to this.
Later in the episode, Larry, Jeff, and Suzie try to enjoy a day at the beach. When Suzie forces Jeff to go on a romantic walk, she asks Larry to look after their daughter, Sammy, who is playing in the ocean. At the drop of dime, Sammy begins to drown. Larry, ever the hero, begins his rescue mission. However, before saving the girl, he repeatedly tries to make sure his Blackberry is shielded from harm. By the time Larry is ready, Jeff has already retrieved his daughter. Suzie can immediately sense what really transpired. She heaves Larry’s Blackberry into the ocean, causing him to lose Denise’s number.
Larry and Leon decide to search for Denise’s house. Of course, it’s a fruitless task. Leon soon spots another woman in a wheelchair making her way down the sidewalk. Larry assumes that she must know Denise because they both, ahem, use a wheelchair. The woman, Wendy, is offended at first, but eventually warms up to Larry’s ridiculousness. Wendy also enjoys Chi-Yun, so Larry idiotically invites her to the concert.
The final scene is an outright catastrophe. Even though Larry never contacted her, Denise decided to attend. Wendy and Denise eventually meet and are naturally infuriated with Larry. The episode closes with Larry fleeing his two dates and Rosie O’Donnell. As with “The Hot Towel,” this episode ends with Larry facing an eventual bludgeoning.
We haven’t seen the cast of “Seinfeld” for some time now, but they’ll be back next week.
