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The Eye

American moviegoers may have lost interest in Asian horror remakes a long time ago, but that hasn’t stopped Hollywood from attempting to cash in on the next “The Ring.” Unfortunately, every movie since then has only looked like an inferior knock-off (namely because a lot of these Japanese ghost stories are the same), and though “The Eye” hails from a different part of the Far East, it shares a similar fate. Jessica Alba stars as Sydney Wells, a blind concert violinist who’s been given the chance to see again thanks to a surgical transplant. With her vision restored, Sydney attempts to reimmerse herself in society, but when she begins having vivid nightmares about the dead, she teams up with a therapist (Alessandro Nivola) to track down the history behind her donor.

Though David Moreau and Xavier Palud (the two-man team behind the cult European horror flick, “Them”) are extra careful about respecting the source material, “The Eye” is incredibly dull. Then again, so was the original film, so if it was their intent to make a scene-for-scene remake, they’ve succeeded. There’s just not a whole lot of substance to the story. Sydney spends most of the film trying to convince her friends and family that she’s not crazy, but it never actually goes anywhere until the final act. By then, most of the audience has already tuned out, and though its Hollywood-sized budget (not to mention Jessica Alba) makes watching the film easier on the eyes, there’s no other incentive to choosing this version over the one directed by The Pang Brothers.

Click to buy “The Eye”

Multiplex Mayhem: Panda Victorious

This is one of those rare weekends where, my predictions are called more or less correctly. Yay for me. (Hey, I also completely nailed the ultimate Democratic primaries results last winter — not that I ever get credit for this stuff.)

* “Kung Fu Panda” delivered the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique to naysayers with a powerful $60 million opening weekend. Nikki Finke points out that almost any animated film about something furry seems to do well, which is true, but I’ll point out her other observation, which is that “Panda” is “playing” more like an action film than a kidflick. Seems to me this is another combination of the power of films that combine adult and kid appeal which, in an especially strong film reaches beyond parents and into people without kids (and not just fanboy geeks like yours truly).

In fact, I pretty much knew this one was going to exceed expectations when I attended traffic school yesterday when a rather obnoxious (and really large) guy who kept babbling throughout the day, asked me out of no place during the class if “Kung Fu Panda” was out and seemed delighted when I tersely muttered “yes.” Also, an “insider” attributes part of the success to the popularity of pandas. This brings up some questions, such as, on the hierarchy of species, what are the panda’s Q rating…and is panda the new penguin? Only time, and unimaginative movie executives, will tell.

* “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” didn’t mess up anyone’s expectations much, and the magic of Adam Sandler’s name delivered a reliable $40 million to a grateful Sony Studios. No word on whether or not the movie received any bump from the not-so sizable Jewish market grateful to see a bad-ass Jew for a change. (In movies, as in real life, you pretty have to go to Israel for that kind of thing.)

One item I found interesting from Nikki Finke’s column is that the audience for the film was divided about evenly between males and females, which is not what you really expect for this kind of comedy. Is the Judd Apatow brand — and the guy only cowrote the film (back when he wasn’t yet famous) — really that strong with lay audiences? Considering his string of hits, it’s not impossible that he could have developed a bit of a brand name in there some place.

* As for the ongoing hits, there plenty of b.o. (that’s “box office”) to go around, with “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” and “Sex and the City” both doing very respectably in the low $20 millions.” Last weekend’s surprise minihit, “The Strangers,” experienced a typical drop for a horror flick in its second week, earning about $9.25 million. Meanwhile, “Iron Man” flies on nicely with just over $7.5 million earned over the weekend.

* In the limited release sweepstakes, as I thought might happen, the general buzz and critical excitement generated by the violent swords & sandals-go-East Ghengis Khan biopic, “Mongol” really did seem to pay off this weekend, as the film exceeded even my own hopes and made it into into the top twenty while playing at only five theaters nationwide — earning an epic $26,600 at each theater on average, despite subtitles and a complete lack of names familiar to an American audience. This looks like a good blow for the seemingly lost cause of old fashioned storytelling. Expect a much wider release for this one and check out the almost outstanding trailer. (I say “almost” because it’s really getting to be time to retire the use of metal-style guitars at the of every action film trailer, especially if it’s a period piece. Also, did Picturehouse really need to add all that narration? Do they really think letting some guy talk over the whole trailer will make audiences think it’s not in an Asian tongue?)

* Two other indie releases had acceptable debuts for indies, the Box Office Mojo tells us — though nothing on the scale of “Mongol.” The English drama “When Did You Last See Your Father?” earned $41,100 at eight theaters. And the workplace comedy “The Promotion“, which I didn’t mention last time, received $28,900 in compensation at six theaters, despite weak reviews for an indie. Chalk that one up to the growing familiarity and even star power of John C. Reilly and, I guess, Seann William Scott (not my favorite performer, but I guess someone likes him) despite blasé reviews, never good news for a small-scale an indie flick.

Battlestar Galactica: “Hub”

Week in and week out, this show does a tremendous job of inching us closer to the end without giving too much away in any given episode. Occasionally, we’ll get a filler episode that doesn’t really move the big storyline, but this wasn’t one of them. We knew that the plan was retrieve D’Anna and destroy the hub so that she would be compelled to reveal the identities of the final five Cylons, and ultimately reveal the way to Earth. But all D’Anna has is information and she’s not giving it up until she returns to the human fleet, so we have to wait at least another week to find out the identities of all the skinjobs. Of course, last week’s line to Roslin about her being one of the Cylons turned out to be a joke… a joke! Damn you, Ronald D. Moore!

Roslin kept having visions every time the basestar jumped, and I guess the point was for her to come to the realization that she couldn’t let Baltar die, even after he (finally) admitted that he (unknowingly) gave the security codes that allowed the Cylons to destroy Caprica and the other colonies. Roslin really wanted him dead, but after her last vision she apparently saved his life. The priestess said something interesting after Roslin admitted there might be something for her there (presumably, Galactica). The priestess said, “Maybe even closer.” What the hell does that mean?

We saw Roslin reading that book that was eventually found in a destroyed raptor, and I guess that was meant to explain how that book got there. Was that the same raptor that jumped away in the middle of the battle, eventually to be found by Galactica? It was finding that book that sent Adama over the edge last week, so it’s nice that they explained how it happened to be there.

The dynamic between Baltar and Roslin (when they were trying to communicate with the hybrid) was really funny. There’s a weird tension between the two of them; I dare to call it sexual, which was kind of confirmed by Baltar’s compliment of Roslin’s beauty when he was all hopped up on drugs. I also thought his interaction with the Centurion was humorous, especially when the robot tilted his head like a dog who has just heard a strange noise.

Lastly, I have to hand it to the creators once again for the wonderful special effects of the battle scene. It’s amazing to see how far these effects have come over the past thirty or forty years.

Based on the scenes from next week, it looks like we’ll have another big step forward in discovering the identities of the Cylons in the fleet and finding a way to Earth. It is the 10th episode of the season, and I’m pretty sure there will be a break before the final 10 episodes, so I’m betting we’re in for a doozy.

Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers: The Collection, Vol. 1

Color me impressed. By the time the animated sci-fi Western, “Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers” made its debut in America’s syndicated markets in 1986, yours truly was a senior in high school who only allowed himself one specific cartoon vice: shows based on Marvel and DC properties. As such, this series totally and utterly passed me by during its initial run, and it stayed off my radar for the subsequent 22 years. Now that Koch Vision has taken it upon themselves to begin a DVD reissue of the show, I’ve been given the opportunity to investigate that which I missed the first time around, and…wow. With a Japanimation style immediately reminiscent of other classic ’80s series like “Battle of the Planets” and “Star Blazers” (to use my own personal frames of reference), “Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers” features the late, great Jerry Orbach as the voice of Zachary Foxx, captain of the so-called “series 5 Rangers,” leading a team on behalf of the Bureau for Extra-Terrestrial Affairs as they defend humanity’s new space outposts from the less savory aliens of the galaxy. This is not one of those cheap, “design the toy first, figure out the cartoon later” shows; it’s a full-fledged sci-fi epic, with gorgeous designs and intricate story arcs, presented here in the order that they were intended. In other words, it’s not designed for stupid kids (although, granted, there’s some silly stuff), but it will prove fascinating to those who enjoy both quality sci-fi and quality animation. There are a bunch of special features, including the original pilot / demo reel, interviews and commentary with creator Robert Mandell, and more. The best part, though? This is only Volume 1. (Vol. 2 is due out in August.)

Click to buy “Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers: The Collection, Vol. 1”

Multiplex Mayhem: Pacifist Zionist Commando vs. Fightin’ Slacker Panda

Your comedy dollar is going to be hard fought for this weekend, with two cannily commercial entries making their debut, both of which seem destined for a success. But, how much, and which one will emerge on top? Or, could the R-rated counter-programming smash, “Sex and the City,” continue its sensuous reign? Most likely not, but even the mighty Variety feared to make a call between the two action-packed comedies. I’m nevertheless going out on a limb this week, but a pretty strong one….

* “Kung Fu Panda” is set to bring in about $40 million, says Holllywood Reporter resident oracle Carl DiOrio. Could be, could be more, says me. If there is any one set rule in the wacky world of showbiz where no one knows nothin’, it’s that movies appropriate for smallish children that adults get at least a small amount of entertainment always do well and, if they’re entertaining enough, they can be enormous. That’s the formula that’s driven the revolution in digitally animated films that owe a great deal to the anarchy and sophistication of classic era Warner Brothers cartoons.

This newest DreamWorks production seems like a strong enough contender; with a fresh concept and very big names in the voice cast (Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman), there’s no reason this one can’t exceed expectations in a big way. In any case, positive, though not rapturous, reviews indicate that the film has some fairly strong adult appeal, which should help guarantee some longevity for this release.

Also, this is a movie that benefits from what you might call the “40-Year-Old Virgin” rule — movies whose title alone sufficiently explains an appealing premise tend to do well. I mean, what part of “Kung Fu Panda” does anyone over age four not understand? So, the only question is — how much do family audiences like pandas and martial arts? I’d say they like them both plenty. In terms of what’s visible to prospective filmgoers, the only thing “Panda” lacks is the character design genius of Pixar — but there’s only one Pixar.

* Still, I wouldn’t dare mess with “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan,” the latest from Adam Sandler. This is an interesting one, in that I, someone who has never found Adam Sandler even slightly funny (exceptions: the “Hannukah Song” and, for some reason, Opera Man), actually find the premise here — an Israeli super-commando tries to turn his metaphorical sword into scissors and gel as a hair stylist — quite amusing. It might be the participation of two undoubted, though also uneven, geniuses of the funny — Judd “I Rule the Comedy Box-Office” Apatow and SNL writer and Conan O’Brian cohort Robert Smigel, creator of Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, the Ambiguously Gay Duo (voiced by Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell), and, even better, the Superheroic Ex-Presidents.

As a stereotypically overly self-conscious liberal American Jew, I find making fun of ultra-confident killer Israelis incredibly amusing if done correctly, and I admit to getting a kick out of just reading the reviews, even if most of them are not all that impressed. However, though you’d never know it on any given night at Canter’s Deli or any Chinese restaurant in Manhattan, my tribe is less than 2% of the population. The Sandler name is going to be main selling point here. I guess the main question here is whether we’re finally ready for comedies touching on issues like terrorism and the Middle East. Should do at least a whole lot better than the disastrous but actually very likable “American Dreamz.”

(Reading tip: those of sharing my obsessions with Israeli stereotypes will want to read this incredibly long and interesting Smigel interview with Nathan Rabin of the Onion AV Club interview. You can also see an old SNL favorite of mine via embed at the AV club — it’s “Sabra Price is Right” in which Smigel first mined the Zohan vein of comedy, with the help of Tom Hanks in absolute top form.)

Meanwhile in Indiewood…. A rather large number of interesting films are opening in limited release, but I’ll give you two this week. First, off, along with “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”, we have another film with a complete sentence for a title. “When Did You Last See Your Father?” is, of course, in every other way, a very different kettle of fish — a kitchen sink style literary adaptation from the UK debuting on eight screens and starring two of Britain’s best, Colin Firth and Jim Broadbent. Considering all the thud and blunder and silliness in theaters, this could be a stronger than expected bit of counterprograming that might grab middle-aged and older filmgoers with the eternal issue of father/son relationships, or not. Frankly, this is the kind of film which usually needs to grab a few Oscar nominations to make much of an impression, but it’s coming out a bit early for that, though it didn’t hurt last years mini-sleeper, the lovely and sad Canadian flick “Away from Her,” directed by Sarah Polley.

Also benefiting from a bit of critical hoopla is “Mongol,” a violent epic and the first film in a projected trilogy about the life of a certain very famous Mongol leader. (A.O. Scott has already dubbed it “Ghenghis Khan: The Early Years”). This best foreign language picture nominee is from a Russian director, has a Japanese star, and is shot in Mongolian. Can this one break through the subtitle barrier like a Mel Gibson ultraviolence orgy or “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”? Maybe or maybe not, but it looks like it’s worth a look.

And now I suddenly have a craving for Mongolian barbecue. Damn.

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