Category: TV (Page 547 of 595)

Who doesn’t enjoy a good TV show cast reunion…?

And this is one of the best-remembered shows of the ’80s…if only as the perfect example of the decade’s excess: “Dynasty.”

The biggest names in the cast are all really getting up there in age – Linda Evans (Krystle Carrington) is 63, Joan Collins (Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan, to be precise) is 72, and family patriarch John Forsythe (Blake Carrington) is 88 – but all of them turned out for the soon-to-be-aired program, Dynasty Reunion: Catfights and Caviar, airing on May 2nd on CBS…which will feel a bit odd, since the original series was on ABC.

Collins clearly still maintains the same demeanor that the tabloids always said she had back then. During the taping of the special, she was heard to say, “Can I ask everyone behind the camera to be absolutely still?” (Later, she clarified, “Even if someone puts their hand in their pocket, it distracts me.”)

But in case you think the gathering of the show’s stars was something the actors and actresses did out of the kindness of their heart, think again; Gordon Thomson, who played Adam, originally turned down the offer to appear because of the low salary he was being offered…but then, I dunno, I guess he realized that the amount was easily comparable to the time he’d be off the schedule at Taco Bell and then figured, “What the hell.” (To be fair, Thomson will be appearing in this summer’s “Poseidon”…but, still, it’s not like he’s really working that much these days that he should be so greedy…or, then, maybe that’s why he is.)

At least she’s not still pregnant…

I’m not entirely sure why I’m still watching “Alias,” but Sydney finally delivered her baby last week. Considering that her pregnancy pretty much ruined the show, it’s a relief to finally have it over with. I was afraid that they would drag it out for a few more episodes, but maybe now she can get back to some real spy work now without looking completely foolish.

It was also great to see Irina again, and if there’s a better looking fiftysomething actress than Lena Olin, I’d like to meet her.

Help! My hand is glued to this wall!

Chris parties, trouble from Artie

Who knew Vinnie Delpino was such a bad ass? Free from Doogie’s shadow, Vinnie, aka Benny Fazio in his new TV life, had his coming out party in this week’s episode. First, he hooks up with the hot new greeter at Artie’s restaurant, then he throws a couple threats at Artie when Artie starts giving his girl a hard time, and he caps off his performance by shoving Artie’s “sautéing hand” into a pot of boiling sauce. Granted, he also had his ass handed to him by Artie, but Vinnie hasn’t had this much screen time since the “Doogie Howser” heydays. Assuming there were “Doogie Howser” heydays, of course.

The trouble started when Vinnie and his honey swiped a few credit card numbers from Vesuvio, Artie’s restaurant, and sold them to Christopher’s Middle-Eastern associates (more on that later). American Express picked up on the fraud, presented Artie with the evidence, and pulled Am-Ex from Vesuvio. Already hemorrhaging money thanks to some new competition, this latest bit of news sends Artie over the edge and, when he finds out Vinnie and his girlfriend are behind the operation, he goes to Vinnie’s house and rearranges his face for him. Unfortunately for Vinnie, his small-screen renaissance may not last long, not after Tony specifically told him to forget about the Artie situation and Vinnie still charred his hand. Will Tony do anything about Vinnie’s disobedience?

As for Artie, I’m not sure where this storyline is supposed to go. Artie’s provided a handful of memorable moments throughout the years but, honestly, I just don’t find his character all that intriguing. This week’s episode lacked focus, mainly because Artie was onscreen so much. We haven’t seen much of him at all until now, and yet he monopolized most of the episode. I suppose it’s all a matter of personal preference, and maybe this Artie detour will lead somewhere good when it’s all said and done, but Tony was dead on when, borrowing from the saying that was pinned to his hospital room wall, he told Artie, “You go about in pity for yourself.” Artie’s depressing, and aside from his encounters with Vinnie, he stole some of the show’s momentum this week.

Fortunately, Christopher kept things interesting while in LA. He and Little Carmine have a meeting set up with Ben Kingsley to talk about their ridiculous “The Ring meets The Godfather” movie idea. Kingsley, of course, hardly even pretends to be interested and tries to lose Chris and Carmine by going to a Luxury Lounge. Stunned by the amount of swag heaped upon the stars at the event, Chris later attacks Lauren Bacall, punches her in the face and swipes her gift bag.

I still say Chris is in for some big trouble this season. His crew is supplying Muhammad and Ahmed with all these credit card numbers, which they’re clearly using to get their hands on guns and/or other weapons. We’ll have to see if the bender Chris found himself on while in LA carries over now that he’s back home, but I’m guessing it will. If that’s the case, we’re going to watch Chris’ life quickly unravel and, sometime soon, agent Harris will confront him about his association with Muhammad and Ahmed. Whether or not Chris flips when faced with the prospect of hard time remains to be seen, but I’m saying he’s dead, for one reason or another, by the time the credits roll on the series finale.

Not much else happened this week. The hired guns Tony imported to take out Rusty, as a favor for Johnny Sack, get the job done but at this point, it’s unclear what exactly is brewing in that pot. Meanwhile, we didn’t see Vito, and aside from his screen time with Artie and Vinnie, Tony wasn’t around all that much either. The previews showed that Vito will make his way back next week, though, and we’ll also be introduced to Julianna Margulies, who looks to be Tony’s next fuck buddy. Stay tuned.

American Idol: Ace Not “Forever Young”

Good karma does count for something. Recently while drawing $20 from the ATM, a $50 bill came out and I did the right thing and returned it to the bank teller. Yes, my friends, Art Vandalay is a good person. Not only did the bank give me a cash reward, but last night Ace Young got kicked off “American Idol,” just as I had wished for a day earlier.

Of course, even though the show was thirty minutes long, we had to endure the agony of Ryan Seacrest trying to fill time and Rod Stewart performing. Actually the old man wasn’t so bad doing a rendition of “The Way You Look Tonight” from his latest collection of standards.

Then it was all business….Ryan divvied up the remaining seven contestants into groups of 3, plus one.
The plus one was Taylor Hicks, who was immediately told he was safe. I’m not stupid….the reason he was the first to safety was because he got the highest number of votes Tuesday night. Look out America, the fifth Idol just might have gray hair.

Then Taylor was asked to stand by the group he thought was safe…..Elliott, Kellie and Katharine…or Ace, Chris and Paris. He faked a move, shaking Chris’ hand, then moving to the other group…and he was correct. I guess Elliott really is going to keep hanging around….I mean, dude can sing his ass off, so it’s all good. But Kellie not in the bottom 3 after that awful showing Tuesday?

So then it was down to Ace, Paris and Chris and Paris was the first one of the three to be put back to safety. Then it came down to Chris and Ace….look, I didn’t count the votes but I can almost guarantee there was about a 10 million vote differential between Chris and Ace. Vocally at least, there is no comparison. America, you got it right.

Next week, the classically trained Italian pop singer Andre Bocelli will be guiding the Idols as they choose from the greatest love songs of all time. Thankfully we don’t have to see Ace sing a sappy ballad and watch Paula Abdul drool in her Coke cup. But more importantly, we’ve got a half dozen contestants left…..which means we’re only a handful of weeks from crowning our next Idol.

Wow, has this season been a blur? It has, and now we’re left with a final six of contestants that are all worthy of winning it all. Thankfully. See you next week my friends…

Vandalay, OUT.

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