Category: TV (Page 517 of 595)

Last Comic Standing: Bye Bye Balan

The current season of “Last Comic Standing” is winding down like the blur that is our summer. Last night was the second elimination as voted by America, and Michelle Balan went home. But first, host Unfunny Clark had the privelege to introduce two guest comics.

The first was Jay London, an LCS alum who is best known for his witty one-liners that are sometimes so witty that the audience doesn’t quite get them right away. Hence, his style of repeating the jokes and making fun of the crowd for their lack of intelligence. Somehow, this dude is funny. He is a hunched over caricature of himself, and that’s part of his act. But even if not everyone gets him, he definitely has something that no one else has.

The second guest was Caroline Rhea, who most people know as the host of NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.” I didn’t even know Caroline was a comedian, but holy shit…..she was hilarious. It makes you wonder how NBC chose Unfunny Clark over Caroline to host this show. Maybe they should think about that for next season.

Then came the elimination, and after Mr. Unfunny let Josh Blue and Ty Barnett know that they were safe, it came down to Michelle and Chris Porter. Michelle’s journey ended, and so then Josh, Ty and Chris got to perform.

Now, I thought the last two weeks that Ty Barnett was going to be eliminated, but he really made me laugh last night and I think he has an outside chance here to win it all. Hell, he has more than an outside chance. Chris may have taken things a bit too far with his religious humor both last week and this week, especially while there are so many Americans out there to offend. And truthfully, he really hasn’t been as funny lately.

Josh was Josh…he’s been the most consistent performer throughout the competition. The man is quietly making a gargantuan statement for disabled Americans, and that’s because you don’t even remember that he has a disability when he’s performing. The dude is just funny as hell.

At this point, I’m going to give a slight edge to Josh Blue as the leader of the pack, with Ty Barnett in second and Chris Porter on the chopping block. Chris, you’re going to have a nice career but you really have disappointed us the last few weeks.

So with this season of LCS barreling toward a conclusion, fall TV can’t be far behind. Thankfully there are shows like this to help us couch potatoes make it through the summer.

I’m off to turn up my air conditioner. Till next week, Vandalay is OUT.

We all fall down… again

Following two weeks of excellent, best-of worthy material, the writing team behind “Rescue Me” is going to have a helluva time outdoing themselves any time soon. Tonight’s episode is proof of that. After opening with a killer scene involving the Ladder 62 crew responding to an apartment fire (caused by a heat lamp burning the tenant’s marijuana plants) and watching Garrity and Probie get high off the fumes, the rest of the hour was littered with nothing more than a few slow-progressing subplots to help pass the time.

For one, Probie’s haphazard homosexual experiment is officially out of the bag, and while most of the guys aren’t exactly sure how to take it, Tommy feigns empathy in order to keep his crew together. It’s not going to be as easy as he thinks, however, with Franco taking the lieutenant’s exam and Lou contemplating moving down to Florida to work for his brother’s boating company. Also, now that Garrity is marrying Maggie, Tommy can’t stand hanging out with the guy because he constantly refers to him as his brother; even going so far as to change his firefighter trench coat to read “Gavin.” To counter this, Sheila pleads Tommy to quit and move away with her to a house on the beach, using her widow money from 9/11 as a means of income. Apparently, she’s managed to save up over $1 million (thank you, interest) just by letting the cash sit in the bank for five years.

This probably isn’t going to happen – since no firefighters means no show – but I’m still rooting for Sheila to win him over in the end. This might be a little easier now that Tommy’s discovered Janet is pregnant (courtesy of older brother Johnny), unless, of course, it’s his baby, which we all know is going to be the case. Oh well, at least the show had a few good weeks to deliver before the wheels on this train wreck were set into motion.

They tear you down to build you back up

The previews for the new season of “Entourage” showed Vince and E on a rollercoaster, at the top of the very first hill, arms up and eyes wide, ready for the plunge. At the time, I’d hoped this was symbolic of what we should expect from the show this summer. After the first several episodes, it seemed I was out of luck: “Aquaman” broke records, Vince was hotter than Jessica Alba in a wet t-shirt contest, and Ari’s sputtering agency was finally gaining footing. Even E, Turtle and Drama were livin’ large, what with E scoring a threesome with his hot girlfriend and her hotter girlfriend, and Ari taking Turtle and Drama on as clients. Everything seemed hunky dory.

Well, all is not hunky dory after tonight’s episode. For starters, Ari, who’s planning on using the $11 million settlement he got from Terence to form the biggest agency in town, gets ambushed at a lunch date with Barbara Miller by all of the industry’s big wigs. Apparently, they know what Ari’s planning and, intent on keeping Ari away from their agents and their talent, they tell him they’ll do everything in their power to kill his venture. When Ari assures them that the only person he plans to steal agents and/or clients from is Terence, Terence says that, while he may have signed the settlement agreement, he hasn’t signed any checks yet, and he’ll gladly pay $50 million to make sure Ari doesn’t get a dime of the settlement.

I’m not really sure where Terence has a leg to stand on – if he signed the papers, how can he refuse to pay Ari? I’m assuming the $50 million was in reference to taking things to court but, again, Terence signed. What’s the problem? I’m no lawyer, so maybe I’m missing something here, but it seems Ari didn’t really have anything to worry about. Of course, that didn’t stop him from reluctantly agreeing to take Barbara on as a partner, since Ari is now flat broke and can’t afford to pay his agents. Either way, the new agency is up and running, only now Ari’s got someone to answer to. That spells trouble, I’m sure.

But the big story tonight came when Ari told E and Vince that “Queens Boulevard” was going to be released wide to 12,000 screens, with an announcement set to be made later that afternoon in front of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Just the kind of pub Vinnie needs in the aftermath of the “A2” debacle. But when E calls director Billy Walsh to tell him the good news, Walsh says he already knows about the plans and that he’s filing an injunction because he doesn’t want “those douche bags to ‘Aquamanifi’ my movie.” What’s he so worked up about? In preparation of the wide release, the studio has elected to colorize “Queens,” and it’s an awful colorization job at that (E says it looks like Willie Wonka, and he’s not far off). Walsh wants Vince to sign the injunction so the studio knows they mean business but E can’t get Ari on the phone to run the idea past him. Which means when Ari shows up, with new partner Babs in tow, he’s completely stunned when Vince tells everyone at the press conference that the studio “ripped out” Queens’ soul, “because, like all studios in this town, they don’t give a shit about art; they only care about one thing: money.”

Hard times lie ahead for Vince, and not just because he got booted off “A2,” and not because he just pissed off another set of studio execs, but because he insulted every studio in Hollywood with his speech. But, hell, who cares? Seems the writers had every intention of taking that plunge hinted at in the season previews, and I’m loving the ride. How far will all of this go? What kind of role is Vince going to be able to get now? If my initial hunch was right (and at this point, it doesn’t seem very likely), “Medellin” may still be an option, but even if Ari was telling the truth about Paul Haggis going in another direction, that seems like exactly the kind of role Vince should be going after now. Fuck the big studios, fuck the suits. It’s obvious Vinnie has an appreciation for film that goes far beyond the green it sends back his way, and this may be his opportunity to take on some independent roles rather than chasing the buck. Granted, that’ll mean a change of lifestyle for the boys back home, and likely some hard times for Ari and his new agency, but it could also lead to some award-show hardware down the road.

A couple final notes from tonight’s episode: Looks like Drama’s getting a pretty big break — despite another public temper tantrum — with “Eddie” Burns offering him a role in his new pilot. I wonder if this means Ari will pay Lloyd his promised 10,000 Yen…. And speaking of Ari: “Fuck the phones, Lloyd. Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty fuck, don’t answer.” That’s this week’s Ari Moment, which came after his ambush lunch when he was trying to set up a meeting with his agents and Lloyd told him that Eric and Vince had called several times. I imagine if Carmen Electra ever called for an emergency titty fuck, just about anything you were working on instantly would become less of a priority.

Bullz-Eye’s TV Power Rankings Return!

Savor the moment, HBO. You currently own more than a quarter of our TV Power Rankings list, but with the imminent departure of “The Sopranos,” “Deadwood” and “Rome,” along with the TBD status of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and the oddly lengthy shooting schedule for the half-season “Extras,” the end of your reign as BE must-see TV could very well be nigh. For the moment, though, we heart you and wish you would ask us to the prom.

Unless Jack Bauer’s still single, in which case we’re spoken for.

Here’s a sample entry from our list:

13. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO): It seems like a long time between seasons of this great comedy, and I often wonder during the show’s hiatus: What trouble is Larry David into right now? Last season, he had to decide whether or not to give one of his kidneys to Richard Lewis. Richard’s cousin, Louis Lewis, was (conveniently) in a coma and Larry kept visiting him in the hospital, secretly hoping that Louis would croak so that Richard could have Louis’ kidney instead. The other season-long storyline was Larry investigating the possibility that he was adopted, leading to several funny scenes with his supposed gentile birth parents. The show isn’t quite as fresh as it was in its first couple of seasons, but with episode titles like, “The Korean Bookie,” “The Christ Nail” and “Kamikaze Bingo,” how could you be? ~John Paulsen

Check out the full list here.

The latest nominee for “Greatest TV Show Ever”

“Garth Marenghi’s ‘Darkplace.'”

This series – which originally aired on the BBC in 2004 – made its U.S. television debut last night on the Sci-Fi Channel, and I think I laughed harder at the premiere episode than I’ve laughed at any TV show since “Arrested Development” went off the air.

A description will never do it justice, but the best summary I can offer is that Garth Marenghi is a famous horror writer – think Dean Koontz – who, in the ’80s, created a drama called “Darkplace,” about a British hospital that just so happens to have a hellmouth within its walls. Margheni not only wrote and directed the show, he also starred in it, but the series supposedly suffered so many problems that, by the time it was cancelled, “it had already claimed six lives, caused three nervous breakdowns, and been subject to at least one visitation.” Now, however, in the midst of television’s creative drought, it’s finally being allowed to be shown again…and it’s interspersed with interviews with the former stars.

Oh, I should probably also add that Garth Marenghi is fictional, the show never existed, and it’s all a big put-on…or did you not figure that out from the above photo?

I can only imagine the Brits think it’s about ten times funnier than I do, since it’s parodying the low-budget, poorly-acted sci-fi / supernatural dramas that were all over their airwaves in the late ’70s and early ’80s.

If you go here, you can see the first episode. (It’s split into halves, but both parts are available to view.) Trust me, you’ll want to. I’m sure not everyone will think it’s funny, but, personally, I nearly pissed myself laughing.

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