I don’t know that I’d have the courage to stay at Schrute Farms, so I have to hand it to Pam and Jim for battling the elements and spending the night, even if they did it for nefarious purposes. With all the sobbing and in-your-face antics of Andy, I actually felt sorry for Dwight this week, but he always bounces back.
Jim: “You okay?” Dwight: “I am better than you have ever been or ever will be.”
I have to mention Dwight’s three themed rooms: America, Irrigation and Nighttime. WTF?
“Put the manure down, Moes.”
The nice thing about Pam and Jim is that they saw that Dwight was down and they weren’t willing to make his life any worse. It was great when Dwight reached out to touch Jim in the stairwell only Jim was long gone.
Meanwhile, Michael has got himself in quite the financial pickle. I’m not sure why he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to Jan; I guess he’s still too enamored with her boob job to say anything. His “Die Hard” vs. “Die Hard 4” comparison was hilarious…
“Dude, you should review movies.”
The money troubles led to Creed’s suggestion that Michael declare bankruptcy, which he did a few moments later (to the people in the office) with very little thought. That brought Oscar in for a hilarious assessment of Michael’s finances.
“This scary black bar represents expenses that no one should ever have for any reason.”
I thought Michael’s race for the train was pretty funny, especially when he was trying to time his jump, and finally jumped on just as the train stopped.
Jan found him and the two had a very sweet moment.
Jan: “So where is this train taking us?” Michael: “I think the engineer left.”
Ryan made another funny appearance this week, but it would be nice to see him get down a notch or two. The PowerPoint presentation was pretty funny, especially the back and forth about the correct usage of “whomever” and “whoever.” Michael had a great line when Oscar put in his two cents. He looked at the camera and said, “Not a native speaker.”
“Ask and ye shall receive,” sayeth the good book, and after today, I certainly can’t argue.
Yesterday, I ended my review of “Buried Alive” by hoping that I’d be able to find something…anything…better to watch for today’s Scare of the Day. Lo and behold, this afternoon’s mail call brought just such an item: a copy of “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special,” courtesy of the fine folks at S’More Entertainment, and, people, this thing is awesome.
The show opens with Paul Lynde dressed in a Santa outfit, because…ho, ho, HO!…he’s gotten the holiday wrong! The gag continues with Lynde vanishing long enough to put on a full-body Easter Bunny costume, then reappearing to sing a verse of “My Funny Valentine” (which, thankfully, does not involve him wearing Cupid’s traditional attire). Eventually, however, his housekeeper, played by legendary Maxwell House spokeswoman Margaret Hamilton, buys him a clue; he wishes viewers everywhere a happy Halloween – adding, “Whoopie!” – and it’s off to the opening credits, where you won’t find a more definitively ‘70s list of guest stars without breaking out an episode of “The Love Boat.” Making appearances are…well, let’s not give away the whole game in the first inning.
Given that Halloween is a decidedly child-friendly holiday, it’s no surprise that Lynde only hesitates for about half a second before launching into a lyrically-tweaked version of “Kids,” his signature number from the Broadway musical, “Bye Bye Birdie.” While belting out the song, which includes hip new lines like, “There’s too much Alice Cooper / Not enough Alice Faye,” Lynde is being chased around by dancing young’uns; although they all team up for a chorus line of Rockettes-styled kicks toward the end, the conclusion finds Lynde tied up and thrown in a trash can, with the lid put on by none other than…Donnie and Marie! (They both flash their pearly whites at the camera and give the “OK” sign.)
From there, it’s off to the premise that keeps the rest of the show going. Lynde and Hamilton are off to visit her sister, but when they arrive, Lynde discovers that her sister is none other than Witchie-Poo (Billie Burke), and that his beloved housekeeper of the last 15 years is actually The Wicked Witch of the West. (For trivia buffs, it turns out that this particular appearance is officially the only time Hamilton deigned to put on the whole outfit, makeup and all, onscreen at any point after filming “The Wizard of Oz.”) Turns out that they’d like Lynde’s help in softening the image of witches, and they’re willing to offer him three wishes in return. He’s skeptical at first, which allows for guest appearances by Billy Barty and Betty White, but, eventually, he realizes that they’re serious about their offer.
So what’s his first wish…? He, uh, wants to be a trucker.
One magic wand wave later, and, God help us, Lynde is transformed into Big Red, a.k.a. the Rhinestone Trucker, so called because his driving outfit is a rhinestone-encrusted jumpsuit. (The front of the outfit is open clear down to the middle of his chest, revealing way more tufts of hair than anyone needed to see.) The CB radio jokes fly fast and furious for a few moments before settling into a storyline where we discover that Big Red and another trucker – played by Tim Conway – are both engaged to the same girl. If the CB jokes don’t nail down with some precision as to when this special was made, the actress who plays the girl does: it’s Roz Kelly, a.k.a. the long-legged, leather-clad Pinky Tuscadero on “Happy Days.” I mean, really, how long was the window where she was enough of a “name” to warrant a reference in the opening credits of a special like this one…? It can’t have been more than a year or two, tops. Anyway, the sketch ends up turning into a square-dance-styled number where Lynde, Conway, and Kelly sing and strut around a stage that’s dominated by two 18-wheelers. There’s a reason why they don’t make ‘em like this anymore, but, even so, you won’t be able to take your eyes off the screen.
Next up, it’s KISS! The performance of “Detroit Rock City” is clearly lip-synched, but, fuck it, who cares? It’s the classic foursome in all their glory, so it hardly matters. From there, Lynde wishes himself into the life of a rich sheik that kidnaps a woman – played by Florence Henderson – and tries to woo her to become his bride, in the process sneaking in jokes with punchlines involving “Laverne & Shirley” and “Baretta” (gee, y’think this originally aired on ABC?). Upon his return to the witches’ homestead, they made a request to go to “a real Hollywood disco,” and, shockingly, Lynde says he can make that happen. After a quick raiding of Liza Minnelli’s closet for just the right satin-encrusted jacket, Lynde takes the ladies to a haunted discothèque where…what luck!…Florence Henderson just happens to be performing a disco-fied version of “That Old Black Magic.”
AWESOME.
Perhaps sensing that viewers would be a little too riled up after Henderson’s number, the producers decided to bring the mood down a little. Cut to Peter Criss sitting at a piano in full make-up, offering a heartfelt rendition of “Beth.” Eventually, Criss’s bandmates emerge from the shadows and flank him, and after the song ends, Lynde and Hamilton join them to trade one-liners for a few minutes. (Lynde: “I can take one look at you four and tell you how you got your name and how you got your act: you had a fight, and your mothers told you to kiss and make-up!”) Soon, however, it’s time for Lynde to make his last wish, and he’s so smitten with the foursome that all he wants is for KISS to play another song! Say, guys, how about “King of the Nighttime World”? Done and done.
The show comes to its grand finale with the return of Roz Kelly, as she and Lynde duet on a god-awful song called “Disco Baby,” and all of the guest stars dance around the stage as Lynde hollers out, “I like that funky stuff!” Oh, wait, did I say all of the guest stars? Not true. Donnie and Marie never re-appear again (not too much of a surprise, since they weren’t mentioned in the credits to begin with), and the guys from KISS wisely ensconce themselves in the balcony, only looking down to frown at the shenanigans going on below. Paul Lynde closes by addressing the camera directly and offering his thanks to all the viewers, adding, “I hope that we were a howling success.”
Oh, yeah, I was howling all right…with laughter. As an artifact of the ’70s variety era, this is right up there with “The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.” It’s a must-see.
“He made some big mistakes,” said Feldman, in an interview with US Weekly, “and I am not sure why he made them. I am a bit confused by it all. He has big issues.”
Frankly, we’re a bit confused, too. We figured anyone who’s had as many issues as Corey Feldman has over the years would be a little more sympathetic.
Last night’s installment of Gordon Ramsey’s “Kitchen Nightmares” featured The Olde Stone Mill Restaurant in Tuckahoe, New York, a small town about 40 miles north of New York City in Westchester County. The space was a cotton mill in the 1800’s and a rubber factory for a while after that, long before current owner Dean took over and renovated it into his dream business: a restaurant.
The Olde Stone Mill focused on casual yet upscale dining in a really unique location along the Bronx River. So what was wrong with it? It was losing loads of money, and Dean admitted that if they closed the doors he would owe half a million dollars in debts.
Enter the great Gordon Ramsey.
Ramsey rode in on his motorcycle and was immediately marveling at the location of the restaurant. He met Dean, chef Michael, general manager Tom, and Dean’s wife Barbara and then sat down to lunch. He ordered crab cakes, chopped salad, mushroom risotto and fish that’s cooked in some sort of “edible bag.” First off, Ramsey notices the waiter chewing gum and kind of ribs him about it. Then, he tastes the food and is extremely disappointed all the way around. The crab cakes have a “sour mayonnaise” taste, the salad was shaped with a funnel, and the fish is like, as Ramsey said, “shit in a bag.” He sits Dean down and tells him point blank that his food is “crap.”
Then Ramsey sits down with Dean and Barbara to find out just how much money this place is losing. And that night, he witnessed a dinner service to really find out why. It didn’t take long to realize that it is in fact the food….customers are not happy, sending it back or just complaining that food is cold or doesn’t taste good. Thankfully, this episode spared us cockroaches and rats–the one thing chef Michael was doing good was keeping the kitchen clean. But he was feeding customers crappy food, and this was why no one except folks from a nearby retirement community were eating there. Ramsey also berated Dean, saying he was rushing meals out even though he knew they weren’t cooked properly. He even called Dean “a fake,” and questioned how bad he wants his restaurant to succeed. This resulted in a bit of a shouting match…or should we say, Dean was shouting a Ramsey and Ramsey was calmly calling Dean out for not wanting this bad enough.
Ramsey went and spoke to a local butcher who said the area desperately needed a good steakhouse, especially with so many Italian restaurants in the area. He took back some prime ribs and gets to work cooking with Michael. Ramsey then took a blow torch to Michael’s funnels that he uses for the chopped salad, showing him that the funnels are just not necessary. He also tells Dean that he’s revamping the menu to a steakhouse menu, and Dean is extremely resistant. Tell me, why would you be resistant when your restaurant is hemhorraging money? So he goes with it. Ramsey puts a nice new sign out front, re-does the interior and changes the menu. At the dinner service, the restaurant is hopping, but Tom is having trouble keeping up and is tripping over himself. Orders are not being filled, and there is a printer problem in the kitchen, which prompts a shouting match between Dean and Michael.
Finally, the printer is fixed and food gets served. The customers, including the mayor, are loving the new menu. Ramsey is shown talking to Dean, explaining that sometimes you have to fail first in order to succeed, and earns Dean’s respect when he tells him that he too first failed when he started in this business.
They showed that in the following weeks, Michael regained control of his restaurant, Tom became a better manager and Michael took back his own passion for cooking again. Ah, another feel-good story. We can only hope now that the place is making money now and back on track.
Chef Gordon Ramsey, you are the greatest. See you all next week, when Ramsey visits a Hollywood pizzeria. Finally, we get away from these brash, loud New Yorkers with raging tempers.
Did you notice the nice nod to “Quantum Leap” at the start of this week’s episode? When Dan appeared in the church, marking his first trip of the week, the priest said, “Oh boy”. That’s what Scott Bakula used to say every week when he leapt into a new body.
I was wanting to mark this as the first weak episode of “Journeyman”, but as the episode rolled along I still couldn’t help but get sucked in. Not that there was anything “weak” about the story itself, just that it suffered from major shades of the “been here, seen thats”. The personal stuff between the four main characters was bumped up a minor notch without really going anywhere substantial; the drama was high, but the plotting was low. Last week Katie was a rock; this week she was mostly frustrated and pissed – and who can blame her at this point? Aside from its twist ending, this week’s mission didn’t do a whole lot for me and the show’s going to need to shortly come up with far more engaging missions if this thing’s going to last over the long haul.
The episode took a nice left turn with Dan’s attempts to reach a professor – a professor who knew his father – to discuss tachyons. Later on, the professor called him on his ‘80s phone when he was in another timeline! This guy, I suspect, is going to be a major player and end up giving Dan (as well as the viewer) the skinny on what’s going down here.
I was recently rewatching the “Journeyman” pilot. Dan’s very first trip, centered around a cab, was a little different than the many that came after. I wonder if there was a clue there? If you’ve still got access to the episode, go check that out and then check back in with me. Also, what’s the deal with SoLuna, the restaurant? (Did I get the name right?) It’s playing far too big a role in this series to just be Dan’s Regal Beagle.
Lastly, this was an interesting episode for me to use as an experiment. I’m visiting my mother, who’d never seen the show. She watched it with me, and once I gave her the basic scoop on the show, she had no problem following its intricacies and in fact said she’d be tuning in from here on out. So, well, there you go…
